Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://thyblackman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/blackmaneatingfruit.jpg" /></div> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Separate from Mama.</strong> – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust that you and she are a united front. She must not fear that you will go behind her and talk negatively, especially to your mom. When you and your wife speak to your mom, it should be as one flesh, not competing teams. Your mom is usually going to fight in your corner, right or wrong. This will cause serious problems in your marriage. I love my mom and she is precious to me, but YOU leading your family is the best way to gaji her, not the other way around.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Balance the extracurriculars.</strong> – Living life in Sportsman’s Paradise can get busy. Louisiana has everything a man could ever want with regards to the outdoors. My boat and I were closer than my former wife and I at one time. I was perfectly happy leaving her home with the kids to go “tear ‘em up” somewhere in the Lake Pontchartrain waters. The persoalan with this is when it’s done in excess. You really need to take a look at why you fish, hunt, play video games, go to sports bars, etc. Are you doing it because it’s fun or are you getting away from your wife? It’s easy to fall into this trap because it’s easy to justify “harmless” activities. After all, you’re not out drinking all night with other women, so it’s not <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</em> bad. The persoalan is that your absence at home is felt by your wife and the kids. Keep your extracurricular activities in check by communicating about them with your wife. Too much passing the ball or too much running the ball will make it easy for the defense to game plan against your marriage. You need balance!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Kiss <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> first.</strong> – When you see your wife for the first time after a day of work, kiss her first. If you’re coming home from work or a long day out – put your keys down, drop your bag on the floor and lay one on her! There is nothing that makes mamma feel better than knowing you are thinking about her. Hitting the door with the intent to connect with her immediately sets the stage for positive energy throughout the evening and shows the kids that their parents are secure in their relationship.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Boys Night Out” (AKA: Bachelor Parties).</strong> – I mean – C’mon man! There is nothing that kills a good thing with your wife like a “boys night out”. Back in the day, I was a partying force to reckon with. “Boys night out” usually implied alcohol, taxi cabs, strip clubs and vomit. If this is how you roll with the boys, then I suggest you re-examine your priorities. You may not know it, but your wife is probably scared to death the whole time you’re out. If you want to go hang out with your friends, don’t involve excessive booze at nightclubs. Take some responsibility as a husband and make sure your wife approves. A good question to ask yourself is, “If my wife were here, would she be offended?” (This tip goes for the ladies too.)</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Reject Passivity.</strong> – When something is happening that you know isn’t right, step in. Passivity will kill your family’s faith and trust in you in times when circumstances demand your intervention. There were so many times in my first marriage when my passivity ended up defining my role in my home. This can’t happen. Now – rejecting passivity does not mean that you need to be a dictator in your home. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, not like Ike loved Tina!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Your wife did not grow up in your house</strong>. – 6 months after my first marriage began, we were in marriage counseling. I was 100% sure it was all her fault. The counselor listened to each of us plead our cases, and after hearing what I had to say, she got very strong with me in her response. My biggest complaint was “This isn’t the type of environment I grew up with in my house. It’s not the way I do things.” My counselor was quick to point out that my wife did not grow up with me or my family. She was thousands of miles away living a different life and didn’t even know I existed. She said, “How can you possibly expect her to understand ‘how things were in your house’ when you met her only a year ago at the age of 27? And why do you expect her to act like your relatives?” She was right. Far too often we think things will immediately “mesh” and that we’re above the communication problems. Understand that you and your wife are building a <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">new</em> life together, and it will always be in progress.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Own her decisions.</strong> – I admit, being married to my wife is like a spiritual roller coaster. She is plugged in to Jesus! Her extreme spirituality leads her in places that are sometimes not familiar to me. She respects my role as the head of our family and when issues arise that are major, it’s my job to make the selesai decision. (And ladies – before you get up in arms about the “balance of power”, she will be the first to tell you that she prefers it that way. The burden is taken off of her shoulders by allowing me to bear the responsibility of the heavy family issues.)  Even though many of the ideas are not mine, I am the leader of my house and therefore the decisions to take action are<em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> all</em> mine. If decisions like these fail, you should never blame your wife. You should own it and learn from it.</li> </ol> </div>

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

Separate from Mama.  – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust ...

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Ladies: Five Signs Your Boyfriend Will Make A Good Husband (Or Not!)

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="s easy to fall head over heels right away Ladies: Five Signs Your Boyfriend Will Make a Good Husband (or Not!)" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/good-boyfriend-material-or-not-400x257.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When relationships start out, it’s easy to fall head over heels right away, thinking maybe he’s “the one.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This phase, however, is not the ideal time to start planning a future together — especially because you’re only seeing the very best version of your partner. If you allow yourself to get blinded by this fantasy, you could miss the real signs that show what type of boyfriend (or husband) he’ll be later on in the relationship.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While we can’t predict the future, there are certain things we can pay attention to, early on, to determine if he’s a keeper.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How He Treats People</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being respectful to other people, especially the elderly, is an indication that he’s got good manners and good character, says marriage counselor Dr. Paul Hokemeyer. “If he’s only solicitous to young pretty women and ignores everyone else, that’s a sign he’s a complete narcissist who is only interested in people who can feed his ego.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Aside from the elderly, it’s a plus if he’s also affectionate toward animals and babies. That can indicate he is relationship- and family-oriented.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How He Handles Work</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having a man with good work ethic can infer he will make a solid financial partner, notes psychotherapist Dr. Karen Ruskin. But, as author and dating coach Laurel House adds, there’s a fine line between “solid financial partner” and incurable workaholic. “If he puts work first all the time, cancels on you last minute, and is constantly emailing, texting, and taking calls when you’re out, expect for his business to always come first.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How He Deals With Stress</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Real character emerges during times of stress and conflict. When things get rough at work or home, does he roll with the punches or become overly stressed and blame everyone and everything for his troubles, including you?</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “If even waiting in lines is hard for him, that’s an indication he has low frustration tolerance and will be reluctant to tolerate any imperfections or challenges from you,” says Hokemeyer.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How He Supports You</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Make sure he listens to you and supports your interests and choices, because a supportive man is positive, and a man who tries to control and downplay your hopes and dreams is dangerous and negative, says Ruskin.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s also important to be open about yourself — expose your vulnerabilities and red flags early on, says House. “Don’t let him be the one with the stories, charisma, and personality. Dig deep, connect through stories, talk about your core values, and let your guard down.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you don’t, you risk wasting your time, falling for a façade and even boredom due to a perception of perfection.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Met Him</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Do you remember how the two of you met? Even this can indicate if the relationship will last, the experts say.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “If you meet him in a situation where he is the center of attention, unless you immediately level the playing field, he will always be the one on the pedestal,” says House.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A more mutual kind of meet-cute, Ruskin explains, will likely offer a more positive outcome. “Meeting through a friend, he will treat you nice [because] you are a direct connection. Through religious means, there is a spiritual connection. Meet at surf camp? Then you share a common interest.” (And if you met through one of those “hook up” apps or via a fling affair, don’t expect to be walking down the aisle anytime soon.)</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Once you’ve determined that your guy might be all he’s cracked up to be, it’s still important to take things slow.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As Hokemeyer says, “As hard as it may be, don’t make any major relationship- or life-changing decisions for at least three months of a new relationship.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Besides, if he’s really “the one,” he’ll be more than willing to take the time to show it.</div> </div>

Ladies: Five Signs Your Boyfriend Will Make A Good Husband (Or Not!)

When relationships start out, it’s easy to fall head over heels right away, thinking maybe he’s “the one.” This phase, however, is n...

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10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #404040; float: left; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="130" src="https://deenaroseministries.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/marriage-logo12.jpg" width="400" /></div> <br /> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respect your husband</strong>.  – </em>Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">earn </em>it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Guard your heart</em>.</strong>  – The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">God, husband, kids…in that order</em>.</strong>  – I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Forgive</em>.</strong>  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Over-communicate</em>.</strong>  – I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Schedule a regular date night</em>.</strong>  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never say the “D Word”</em>.</strong>  – If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Learn his love language</em>.</strong>  – Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" sl-processed="1" style="border: 0px; color: #9c5d5f; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">here</a>.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never talk negatively about him</em>.</strong>  – I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Choose to love</em>.</strong>  – There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.</li> </ol> </div>

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

Respect your husband .  –  Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world i...

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The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> The Ebb and Flow of Marriage</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relationships have an advantage in doing better over the long haul.<br /> Consider for a moment how much you’ve changed in your maturity, likes, dislikes, priorities, stressors, life experiences, etc.  If you haven’t changed a bit – consider yourself extremely unique.<br /> Most of us experience a change in ourselves to some degree over time.  A marriage or long-term relationship will also change.<br /> <strong>Here are a few ways couples can navigate the inevitable change of their marriage:</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" border="0" class="size-medium wp-image-2825 alignright" height="243" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-350x284.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage.jpg 385w" style="cursor: move; margin-top: 5px;" title="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" width="300" /></a></div> <ul> <li>Check-in with each other periodically.<ul> <li>How are things going?</li> <li>How are you doing?</li> <li>How are we doing?</li> </ul> </li> <li>Make adjustments in the way things have always been done.<ul> <li>Break routines</li> <li>Do things differently</li> <li>Shake it up a bit</li> </ul> </li> <li>Prioritize your relationship.  It’s very easy to take your eyes off of each other, especially after having children and other life stressors show up.</li> <li>Get away.  An overnight can do wonders for your relationship.  Don’t underestimate the power of a new environment away from your routines and responsibilities.</li> <li style="text-align: left;">Laugh and create new memories.  Don’t allow a negativity bias to creep up in your relationship.  Counter it with some good laughs and positive experiences to counteract negative experiences.</li> </ul> Just because your marriage has “changed” isn’t automatically cause for alarm.  It’s about addressing the change together honestly  and finding creative ways to adapt to that change.<br /> If you are concerned that so much has changed at this point that your marriage feels disconnected and the gap too wide to bridge without assistance, find a local couples counselor to help.  If you’re not quite ready for couples counseling you can try my tool for couples, The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples, to help you strengthen the foundation of your relationship.</section></div>

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relatio...

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20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> 20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <strong>Richard Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve your relationship, noting that it usually doesn’t just “happen” but requires effort to be sure it gets adequate attention.  </strong></div> Let’s face it: there is a staggering volume of marriage/relationship help advice out there. Any Internet search on the topic will give you page after page of relationship “How to’s” and “What not to do’s.” Depending on your perspective, this can be either good news (the easy availability of helpful information) or bad news (trying to navigate the overwhelming maze of relationship tips).<br /> The truth is, there is also a great deal of overlap in what is being said about how to strengthen a marriage/relationship—and while some authors are more eloquent in how they get this information across than others, often the underlying message is consistent. This is good news. The repetition in marriage/relationship advice suggests that there are important hard-and-fast principles that couples should pay attention to.<br /> So rather than searching for the golden goose that will magically send you down the path of marital or relationship bliss, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and give your relationship the attention it deserves.<br /> <br /> <strong>20 Relationship Tips:</strong><br /> <ol> <li>Couples need to set up a <strong>clear boundary</strong> around their relationship—this boundary involves saying “no” to the influences that can undermine your relationship.</li> <li>Healthy marriages/relationships require <strong>balance</strong> between having shared couple-experiences that will feed the relationship while at the same time nurturing their individual interests and pursuits.</li> <li>Without a clear expression of <strong>commitment</strong> to the relationship, trust and emotional security will suffer. A strong relationship foundation is built on mutual commitment.</li> <li>Direct, <strong>clear communication</strong> should always be a top priority.</li> <li>Being <strong>attuned to your needs</strong>, wants and desires is the first step in getting them met—when you’re unclear about your own needs, how can your spouse/partner ever meet them?</li> <li>Not everything needs to be discussed, analyzed and “processed” between partners. Letting go, <strong>giving your partner the benefit of the doubt</strong>, and practicing forgiveness will go a long way in creating a fulfilling relationship.</li> <li>Words have the power to build empathic bridges between partners, and <strong>words</strong> also have the power to hurt and create a wasteland of distance between you. Choose your words wisely.</li> <li>Important issues that are repeatedly ignored, minimized or go underground will resurface with a vengeance. A healthy relationship requires <strong>facing uncomfortable issues</strong> from time to time.</li> <li>Like a wildfire, emotional wounding and defensiveness can spiral out of control and quickly consume a relationship.  Couples need to be <strong>mindful of the negative cycles</strong> that arise in their relationship.</li> <li>Deliberately <strong>creating positive experiences</strong> and interactions between the two of you (while facing the uncomfortable issues that need to be addressed) should be an ongoing priority.</li> <li>Emotional intimacy and closeness are built upon both partners being consistent, <strong>emotionally available</strong> and responsive to one another.</li> <li>Expecting to get all (or even most) of your needs met whenever you want is like expecting the weather to change based upon your whims and preferences.  Unrealistic <strong>expectations</strong> lead to unhappy marriages/relationships.</li> <li>For some, emotional closeness is a prerequisite for sexual intimacy; for others, sexual intimacy leads to <strong>emotional intimacy</strong>.</li> <li>Passion and <strong>fulfilling sex</strong> often needs to be talked about, planned and negotiated (a lack of sexual spontaneity isn’t necessarily a sign of marital/relationship problems).</li> <li>What makes you feel loved and <strong>emotionally connected</strong> may be very different from what makes your partner feel loved and emotionally close. Communicating and understanding these differences can go a long way in improving your relationship.</li> <li>Certain differences between your and your partner’s <strong>communication styles</strong> and emotional expressiveness need to be accepted. You can’t make an introvert outgoing, and likewise, don’t expect an extrovert to happily sit home every evening.</li> <li>Friendships are built on joint activities and common interests. In addition to being lovers, couples need to <strong>learn to be friends</strong>.</li> <li>Couples who actively practice <strong>gratitude and appreciation</strong> feel a deep sense of connection with one another. It’s too easy to simply focus on what bothers you about your mate while ignoring why you fell in love with him/her in the first place.</li> <li>While a relationship obviously takes two committed people, one person can make a difference in improving the overall <strong>quality of the relationship</strong>.</li> <li>Fulfilling, healthy relationships are co-created, not found. Couples who <strong>work together</strong> (at keeping their relationship strong) are more likely to stay together.</li> </ol> While it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the information presented in this article, remember that you can pick one or two items from the above list and began implementing them into your relationship right away. As a marriage/couples counselor, I’ve seen couples make big differences in their relationship with a simple and relatively small change—the goal is to be consistent and persistent with whatever positive change you’re trying to make.</section></div>

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves Richard Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve ...

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12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

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Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <img src="https://ronernbphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/300_arguing_couple.jpg" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">is </em>the bomb is just another way of saying, “We’re an awesome team, and we’re in this parenting thing together!” If you’re at that good place in your marriage, great!  If you’re not quite there, iSpecialist Kathy Peel gives 6 Solutions for 6 Common Marriage Problems that can especially help if you think your husband is not stepping up enough at home.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Marriage Problem: Your husband doesn’t appreciate what you do at home.</strong></div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> His standard greeting as he comes in the door and glances around the messy living room is, “So what did you do all day?”  You are irritated because he doesn’t appreciate your hard work at home and in fact expects you to do more to meet his needs.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Schedule time to talk with him alone.  Before bringing up your feelings, listen to his.  Tell him your goal is to be a good wife, mother, and family manager.<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">  </strong>Talk about how you can work together to make your home run more smoothly.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Marriage Problem:  Your Husband spends too little time helping </strong>out with housecleaning, cooking, or caring for your children.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Take time to discuss your need for help and why he hasn’t done more to assist you.  Perhaps he felt he’d be intruding your territory, so he backed off.  Maybe has tried in the past and your standards were so high he felt frustrated and scolded rather than appreciated for his effort.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Marriage Problem: You try to make him feel guilty </strong>for refusing to step up and help around the house.  You’re frustrated by his uncooperative attitude.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Trying to manipulate him using guilt usually worsens the situation.  Instead, thank him any time you catch him helping around the house.  Also, consider that many men like options.  Rather than ordering him to do something, give him a list of chores and ask him to select several to complete.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Marriage Problem: He’s oblivious. </strong>While it’s perfectly obvious to you what needs to be done around the house, your husband seems totally oblivious.  You get tired of telling him to do the same things over and over.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Besides being gracious and patient, keep in mind that everyone is different, and he actually really might not see what needs to be done.  There are areas in all of our lives where we don’t live up to each other’s expectations.  See solutions 1-3 for ideas on how to approach him.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Marriage Problem: You don’t engage. </strong>You’ve come to see your husband as little more than your backup in managing one crisis after another in your household.  You seldom interact unless you’re dealing with a problem.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>If you find yourself resenting your husband or appreciating him only for the help he offers around the house, be careful. Such an attitude will erode your marriage.  Begin giving to your marriage, whether by a monthly date night or by regularly praying together.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Marriage Problem: You’re at a loss.  </strong>You feel like your marriage is in trouble but you don’t know what to do.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Ask your husband if he would be willing to go with you to a counselor.  If he won’t go, you can gain insight by going on your own.</div> </div>

Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse  is  the bomb is just another way o...

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Twelve Things You Need To Do If You Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> <img alt=" your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war Twelve things you need to do if you have been in an abusive relationship" height="345" src="https://i2.wp.com/www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/shutterstock_395227735.jpg?fit=1000,541" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> An abusive relationship destroys you; your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war. A person is very vulnerable when they come out of such a relationship. They have been hurt way too many times to be able to put themselves back together again on their own. You will need help from people who love you and care for you. You will have to learn to trust and open up to people, all over again, just as you did when you were a toddler.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> The journey to self-healing is hard and long, it takes a person time to be able to find their true identity. They lose their spirituality after they have been in an abusive relationship. Abuse takes away your light bit by bit; darkness consumes you to a point of dismay. The most dangerous thing a human can lose is hope. When we lose hope, the world feels pointless and you let your self drown in a sea of self-loathe. You consider yourself responsible for things you had no control over. This is exactly what happens in an abusive relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You lose interest in yourself and life to a point that you don’t want to live anymore. Why aren’t there stress berat centers for people who have been in such relationships? I have broken many bones but believe me; mental abuse hurts a lot more than physical abuse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> The struggle to leave such a relationship is your last try to stop yourself from drowning in to the pit of never-ending despair. There isn’t much of a fight left in you after that. If you are lucky, the abuser let go of you! It might hurt initially but trust me, it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.</div> <ol style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 26px 24px; padding: 0px;"> <li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: inherit; font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Call your family</strong></h3> </li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> No matter how distant you are from them, family will always be there for your. Call your parents and tell them to take you away, ask them if they would let you spend a month with them. This time will put you back together again; it will remind you of all the beautiful moments you once spent with them. Remembrance of love and care will work wonders on your broken soul.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Reach out to your friends</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Your friends will help you connect with the outer world again. You will smile and laugh in their presence, something you haven’t been able to do since ages. They will make you feel that there is more to life than a havoc-wreaking relationship! Friends are the most beautiful creatures on earth, they are not your family by blood they are your family by soul. Your friends will heal your soul and you will feel the difference.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. Get a Job</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> No, it’s never too late to get a job, get a job right away even if it’s a small one, you will not be able to put yourself together again unless your are completely independent. Financial stability will make you feel more confident than ever, you don’t need a human to support your existence. You are strong enough to support yourself.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Get Counseling</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You might keep telling yourself that you don’t need any additional help, but if you have been abused to an extent that you lost the ability to care for yourself, get help right away. Depending on your condition, the counselor might recommend medication or meditation.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. Get a pet</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You need to start trusting and caring for people again and the best way you can do that is by getting yourself a pet. Remember, a pet is a huge responsibility and you need to care for it just as you want to be cared for yourself. I would suggest a cat, cats are great for people with depression, caressing and brushing your cat will help you unwind and relax.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Get your own place</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Get your own place somewhere near your parent’s house or, if you cannot afford one with your own pay, ask them if they will let you rent the room you live in. You need to know that you will now be able to support yourself completely. You don’t need a human to take care of you. </div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Work around the house</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Help your parents with all the chores, not only will they keep you busy but they will also help you get your mind off things. Your parents will appreciate the extra help around the house and it will help you guys bond better. Plus, a sense of accomplishment will really help boost your self-esteem.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Take a vacation</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Go on a vacation, you need to learn to appreciate the beauty of the world on order to help you live once more. The world is waiting to be discovered.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Interact with neighbours</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Go for a walk around the neighbourhood, smile and enjoy life a little, get to know the people who live around you.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Work on yourself</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Save up for some new clothes and a trip to the saloon. Change how you look, wear lipstick and dye your hair. You have no idea how confident you will feel once you look good. People will notice you and it will feel amazing!</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Improve your health</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Start working out and get back into shape, such a relationship can ruin your physical health, and you need to be able to trust your body again just like you once did.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. Put yourself our there</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You might want to open up to the idea of dating again. Chances are, you will now be able to be in more stable relationships since you will be able to detect early signs of abuse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> I hope that you are able to live life to its fullest. May you become a better, stronger person than you ever were!</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 29px; line-height: 1.2069; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> Talk to me</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> How did you deal with healing yourself? Let me know in the comments down below!</div> </div>

Twelve Things You Need To Do If You Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship destroys you; your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war. A person is very vulnerable when they come ou...

Read more »