Relationships and Love: Search results for Good Therapy

Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

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Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?</h1>
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</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">A
 common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle to
 make change is a strong negativity bias.  The needle on the “Geiger 
counter” of their relationship is bouncing up and down in the red.  In 
the worst cases, they are hostile, adversarial, mistrusting and believe 
they are experts on each other, convinced that they “know” exactly how 
the other feels.  And it’s not good.<br />
“He doesn’t even like me.”<br />
“She has one foot out of the marriage.”<br />
“He wishes he would have married ___.”<br />
“She is only staying in the marriage because of our child.”<br />
In psychology-speak, a “negativity bias” refers to the neuroscience of feeling threatened.  Rick Hanson, PhD explains below:<br />
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<em>“In
 your brain, there are separate (though interacting) systems for 
negative and positive stimuli.  Negative stimuli produce more neural 
activity than do equally intense (e.g., loud, bright) positive ones. 
They are also perceived more easily and quickly. For example, people in 
studies can identify angry faces faster than happy ones; even if they 
are shown these images so quickly (just a tenth of a second or so) that 
they cannot have any conscious recognition of them, the ancient 
fight-or-flight limbic system of the brain will still get activated by 
the angry faces.” </em></div>
People have 
varying degrees of negativity bias.  Those with trauma or challenged 
family of origin experiences are often vulnerable to a stronger 
negativity bias than someone with a secure upbringing, strong sense of 
self and no traumatic experiences.  The brain is wired for fear or 
security…and many shades of grey in between.<br />
Thankfully, we have 
learned that a negativity bias can be challenged by noticing the good, 
gratitude, mindfulness and other positive practices that can rewire the 
brain.<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<strong>A negativity bias can exist in relationships too.</strong></h2>
The
 couple with the Geiger bouncing up and down at the extreme end of the 
negative side are going to be stuck unless they work together to counter
 the negative with positive, to move the needle slowly towards their 
ability to make room for benefit of the doubt and willingness to be 
vulnerable.  The idea is to build good will again, to create an 
environment where your partner feels he/she can put down the sword and 
shield.  You are BOTH responsible for this.<br />
<strong>11 Ways to Counter the Negativity Bias in Your Relationship</strong><br />
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<ol>
<li>Begin each day with a positive statement or greeting for each other.</li>
<li>In transitional moments, (coming or going, one going to bed, etc), say hello, goodbye, goodnight with an affectionate gesture.</li>
<li>Notice aloud what is going well.  “That’s great that you got a bonus, you’ve worked hard.”</li>
<li>Show appreciation.  “That was a really delicious meal, thank you.”</li>
<li>Offer
 help.  If you see something you can do to help your partner, offer it 
up.  “Would you like me to make Sarah’s school lunch tomorrow to give 
you a break?”</li>
<li>Check in.  Make an effort to ask each other how you are doing to demonstrate care.</li>
<li>Make time.  Schedule a walk or lunch with each other.  Show each other that you <em>want</em> to be there.</li>
<li>Repair if needed.  If you mess up, apologize right away.  This will not be a straight line.</li>
<li>Be open.  A repair attempt will do no good if you are not open to possibilities.  Change cannot happen either.</li>
<li>State your needs.  Make sure you’ve articulated what you need in the relationship to give your partner a chance to respond.</li>
<li>Try again.  Don’t allow resentment and sensitivity derail the process.  Know that it’s hard work and perfection doesn’t exist.</li>
</ol>
Remember
 that your goal is to create an environment for your relationship to 
heal.  Practice empathy for your partner and self-compassion, as after 
all, such a strong negativity bias was born out of wounds (perceived or 
real).  It’s a natural drive to be self protective in matters of the 
heart.  The hope is to shift the dynamic so you both feel the other is 
truly there and can be leaned upon.<br />
Intimate relationships are second to parent-child relationships in vulnerability and need to feel emotionally safe.</section></div>

Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias? A common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle ...

Ladies: 10 Signs To Know He Wants To Marry You: Put Him To The Test

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s no secret, women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking. If you suspect he’s thinking about marriage, you are probably right. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what men are thinking though, especially when it comes to commitment.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he is doing any of these 10 things, you might be closer to walking down the aisle than you think. If you have been dying to know if he’ll take the plunge but don’t want to make him feel pressured, just look for signs he wants to marry you. The proof is in the pudding.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> These 10 signs can help you navigate where you stand in his mind, even without him telling you. If he is doing these things you can be pretty sure he’s taking the relationship seriously. No one likes to be with a guy who won’t commit, so don’t! If he is dragging his feet and not treating you like a queen, find someone who will.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. Investing in your future</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know  He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72233" height="347" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Beautiful-young-couple-standing-at-the-car-dealership-and-making-their-decision.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he offered to help you buy a car or pay for higher education? Maybe he’s offered to pay off your debt or help you consolidate debt. If he is starting to look to the future when your finances will be joined, chances are he’s not going to think twice about making investments that will benefit your future life together.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he asks for your opinion when making big purchases, it is a good sign he sees you both enjoying his new purchases together. If he has got you a really nice piece of jewelry lately, he might be testing the waters so to speak in order to see your response. Remember, guys don’t want to be rejected when they pour their heart out and their entire life is on the line with the power of your one word: ‘yes’ or ‘no’.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Why not get a house magazine, a travel magazine or a parenting book. I mean don’t freak him out, but give him signs that you’re ready so he can feel more comfortable. As you do the pre engagement dance, you will start to change as you think about what your life together will be like and what you want it to be like. When you begin planning, he will also begin to pick up on the signs, so that’s a good thing.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="color: #666666; font-size: 34px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24px;">2. Planning vacations together</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s a sign that he’s taken a strong interest in you. If he’s planning vacations with you and his family or closest friends, he’s taking you pretty seriously. Even if it’s just the two of you but you can tell he is really trying to impress you, get to know you and get closer, it’s a pretty big sign my friend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Okay, planning in general is a sign he’s up to something. Have you noticed if he has been more frugal lately, is he saving up to buy you a ring maybe? Did he plan a vacation to a romantic location where he might be thinking of asking you? Is he buttering you up like a thanksgiving ham so he can stick you in the marriage oven? Sounds delicious, doesn’t it?</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. He wants to work out your differences</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a guy goes the extra mile to try to improve communication and maybe suggests couples therapy, this is a sign he wants to make it work. If he is making an effort to see your perspective or has curtailed some of the behaviors that get under your skin, maybe he is growing up and planning your future as a happy couple. If he has softened up recently, he might be warming up to the idea of forever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Is he letting go of things that used to really make him mad? In that case, he must be doing some deep thinking. If he has made an effort to be nice to your friends that you know he doesn’t like that much, he is probably trying to impress you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man, simply put, starts acting like a man and less like a child, it’s definitely on purpose. A man cannot act without motivation and if he’s been looking in the mirror recently and getting in touch with his inner truth, you’ll know something is up. If you’re reading this article and things are ringing a bell, congratulations, he might be about to change your whole life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It might be time to break open the champagne and call Aunt Mindy pretty soon (she’s the one you never talk to, but feel compelled to call just to tell her you’re getting married).</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. He can’t get enough of you</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know  He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72236" height="390" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/young-couple-with-playful-behavior-in-bedroom.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Does he invite you over every night? Has he talked about moving in together? Has he been spending an inordinate amount of time with you? Chances are he is smitten and thinking about the next step. If you’ve been together for a while, at least six months, chances are he’s thinking about it, even if he hasn’t mentioned it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he keeps choosing to hang out with you over his friends, he might be ready to take the plunge. If he is showering you with compliments and seems really happy, this man is most likely very satisfied with you and thinking about that big decision.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he put pictures of you everywhere, in his wallet and at his office? Does he call you and text you a lot? Does he ask to have dates and surprise you with fun things? When a guy is really excited about you, he won’t be able to stop. They aren’t that good at hiding it.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 5. He introduces you to everyone he knows</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s a big sign. Has he introduced you to all of the people that are important to him? This includes best friends, coworkers, and family. If he’s not ashamed of your relationship and he’s making sure everyone knows you guys are an item, chances are you’ve got yourself a committed man that will be on his knee in not too long.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ll pick up on how he’s behaved in the past; maybe you’re the first one he has introduced to everyone. Guys are usually very cautious about bringing girls into the circle of trust. But when you’re in, it’s a big sign he loves you. Pay attention to how he introduces you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What did he say, does he compliment you, and is he proud of you? Does he hold your hand in front of them? This man wants to literally hold onto you until death do you part.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 6. Meeting the parents</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Guys are funny creatures. Some of them will bring their parents on their first date (yes I’ve seen this happen), some guys will introduce you to their parents within the first week of dating, and some guys are more protective and wait for a while. Whatever the case may be, if he’s introduced you to his parents, this is a sign that he’s serious about you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he had cold feet about meeting your parents and suddenly warmed up to the idea like it was no big deal, this man’s mind has changed. Is he asking to meet your parents and siblings? Is he asking what your parents like, trying to get to know them and get on their good side? Is he trying to score brownie points?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve never been married before, you might not even realize what you’re walking into when a man gets serious about the relationship. Don’t think he’s just being nice because likes you. A man will not embrace a woman’s family unless he’s thinking they are going to become his family.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 7. Looking at houses</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he become obsessed with looking at houses recently? If so, he might be thinking about wedding bells my dear. Usually guys don’t buy houses with girls they aren’t serious about. If he’s looking at them with you, he’s probably planning on living in one with you. Is this getting you excited? Getting nervous?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he started talking about furniture or mortgages? Has he been obsessed with figuring out the job that will offer you both a great lifestyle? Has he been talking about or looking over “figures” a lot? He’s got nuptials on his mind if he’s plotting to nest.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 8. Talking about children</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, this is a big one too. If he keeps bringing up how he wants to be a dad or what a great mom you would make, his mind is in the future and he sees you guys starting a family. If you have noticed him commenting on babies or talking about friend’s kids, this man’s primal instincts are kicking in; he’s looking long term.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Now, if you’re shopping, and he takes a turn into the kid section, you can almost guarantee his mind is scheming. Has he bought any self-help books recently? When men are thinking about becoming fathers, they often try to better themselves and prepare. For that matter, when they are getting ready for marriage, they will often do that as well.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Maybe he dropped a bad habit, cleaned up his diet, started an exercise plan or made an effort to get a better paying job. If he has become more responsible lately, he might be thinking about settling down.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 9. He’s really open with you</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know  He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72238" height="390" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Couple-having-a-spritz-time-with-a-lake-view.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man becomes vulnerable, it’s a good sign. If he has suddenly begun to share embarrassing moments, feelings, and other sensitive things, he might really have serious plans with you. When a man trusts you, he behaves differently. He lets his guard down and is more of his goofy self.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Remember to be sensitive to him as he opens up, so he doesn’t feel like you’re going to attack him if he does let his guard down. Try not to judge him, and see him as a fellow human that is learning life lessons and doing the best he can.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 10. He’s extra attentive</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Have you noticed him being extra nice to you recently? Has he been noticing when you change your hair or complimenting you on your outfits? Has he offered to take you out to dinner and gotten you flowers. Maybe he’s stopped leaving a mess in the living room or made sure to put down the toilet seat.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man starts being a gentleman and stops being a boyfriend, he’s thinking seriously about something. Has he become more supportive of your ideas or asked you about your goals? Why is he evaluating your five year plan? What is he trying to figure out? If you sense that your guy is trying to see if your goals line up, this guy is sizing up wife material.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he’s not doing any of these things, it doesn’t mean he isn’t serious about you. Only you can know for sure. If you’re wondering, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just asking. If you do want to marry this man, you want to be able to be open about your feelings anyway, right? If you’re so curious, just see what his thoughts are.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What if you never asked and you spent years with someone just trying to ‘read the signs’ and not wanting to scare him off. Maybe he’s not looking for marriage and you can save yourself the heartache early on. Don’t pressure him by saying something like ‘when do you want to get married?’ but see if it’s something he’s considering.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Open and candid relationships have the best chances of making it. Don’t be afraid to speak up and be open.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When you feel his energy turned towards you, you will know something is up. If he is remembering what you say, listening intently and cancelling fantasy football with his buddies so you can have a movie night, this man has a ring on his mind.</div> <a class="bannerclick h2" data-id="70547" href="http://3b4ceei8r1ir5mabni-dscgifm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=H2A1" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-transition: 0.2s; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1aadd2; display: block; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-stretch: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: 0.2s; vertical-align: baseline;"></a><br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you know someone who could benefit from this article, do them a favor and pass it along. I would love to hear feedback from you amazing women, and I thank you for being a part of the You Queen community.</div> </div>

Ladies: 10 Signs To Know He Wants To Marry You: Put Him To The Test

It’s no secret, women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking. If you suspect he’s thinking about marr...

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned

<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH5g5WIrbg8HeE9ORUohtyondHuXhYmV4Pm7_YQlWwx-ySlQwf5SCnsnE_3pHNf7sauWdbZOqrMmF1nFE1YpZGmgjre6t62XIWZLjlvlXkNsuJpEDIUBVqE4lTHYjNxhjDdGKly7nPoSE/s1600/living+with+depression.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Depression has been a big part of my life for the past seven years and although I wish it  Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " border="0" data-original-height="1450" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH5g5WIrbg8HeE9ORUohtyondHuXhYmV4Pm7_YQlWwx-ySlQwf5SCnsnE_3pHNf7sauWdbZOqrMmF1nFE1YpZGmgjre6t62XIWZLjlvlXkNsuJpEDIUBVqE4lTHYjNxhjDdGKly7nPoSE/s1600/living+with+depression.png" title="Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " width="323" /></a></div> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Depression has been a big part of my life for the past seven years and although I wish it wasn't so familiar to me, I've come to terms with it a lot and it's completely changed me as a person. I've had some stages where it was very bad and some where it's been more manageable and even though I still live with it today, I'm continuing to search for a life where I don't have to be so consumed by it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I've become very familiar with different aspects of depression and these are the main things I've learnt from it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">1. You learn to live with it</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Depression has become normal to me. It's an everyday thing that's a part of me now. I didn't wake up one day and think 'Oh, I've contracted depression,' like some sort of flu, but it crept into my life and now I'm living with it! I don't let it define me and I do my best to control it but at the end of the day I've learnt to live with this not-so-pleasent thing and adjust my life to it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">2. Some days are better than others</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Don't get me wrong, depression sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but not all days are as bad as the others. Sometimes you feel like you're never going to escape it and you might have to live with it forever, but other days you see hope and find the motivation to keep going and fight for your happiness and yourself. I'd rather not have it in my life at all, but I've found that depression doesn't have to ruin every day for me, I can choose to rise above it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">3. You forget that not everyone realises you're depressed</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">When you're depressed, you almost feel like everyone else is depressed and they understand what you're going through or they have the same outlook on life as you. But then you notice people laughing and having loads of energy and you think 'Wow, how can they be so happy?' Then you realise that the majority of the population don't understand what depression is like and that's ok.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div class="mailmunch-forms-widget-614785"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: "avenir next condensed"; font-size: 38px;">4. It's incredibly easy to shut yourself out</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">When you're depressed and you have a choice of either going out into the world and working, socialising and putting yourself out there, or the choice of staying indoors, lying in bed in your comfortable space, you pretty much try to choose the latter every single time. It's so unhealthy to shut yourself out from the world but it's so incredibly easy to do it as well. I've found the more I push myself to try new things and get out there, the more my depression gets better.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=mental-health-books"><span style="color: #e06666;">Read: 10 books about mental health that will change your mindset</span></a></span></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">5. Medication for depression is incredibly normal</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The amount of people who have told me they've been on antidepressants or medication for their moods is incredible. I've even had people in my workplace openly tell me that they were on tablets for depression and I was shocked. Shocked that it's such an incredibly common thing and happily shocked that people are openly talking about it and it doesn't feel like it's just me dealing with depression.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">6. Medication doesn't always work</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Taking a magic pill won't cure your depression. As much as you'd like to think that starting antidepressants will make you feel 100x better and happier, they just don't. Anti-depressants can work really well for some people to increase your mood but on their own, they're not going to do much. It takes diet, exercise, social life, work and many other factors to properly combat depression, not just tablets alone. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #e06666;">Counselling</span></a> is a brilliant way to fight depression and I've found it hugely successful. <a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #e06666;">Try online counselling today from the comfort of your own home.</span></a></span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526&file_id=260" target="_blank"><img alt="Depression has been a big part of my life for the past seven years and although I wish it  Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " border="0" height="250" src="https://media.go2speed.org/brand/files/influencelogic/2/20170605171935-BreaktheCycle-2-300x250.jpg" title="Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " width="300" /></a><img height="1" src="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_i?offer_id=2&file_id=260&aff_id=1526" width="1" /> <br /> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">7. Social media is your worst enemy</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Social media has had a huge impact on my depression. The internet can be a very lonely place and make you very isolated. It's ok in moderation but trying to distract yourself from your own life through things online can only lead to worsening your mental health.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">8. You get used to having very little energy</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Along with your motivation and positivity, your energy levels can drop pretty low. Especially if depression is making it hard to exercise and get out and about, your metabolism will get very slow and can cause weight gain, along with late nights distracting yourself by watching netflix or being glued to your laptop, depression can mess your sleep schedule up pretty bad. The best way I've found to combat this is force myself to go for walks and get outside and limit distractions.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">9. It's hard to be motivated to do anything</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Simple tasks can seem like the hardest things to do. Even easy things like taking a shower or brushing your hair or changing your bed sheets can seem almost impossible.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=mental-health-books"><span style="color: #e06666;">Read: How I live with a life changing anxiety disorder</span></a></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">10. You can't remember life before depression</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Depression can become a normality, which is a pretty scary realisation when you can't actually remember how you used to be happy everyday and full of energy. You can't remember a starting point of being depressed and you definitely can't remember what it feels like to not live with depression.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">11. It's frustrating when you can't explain that you have depression</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">There are a lot of times when you want to cancel plans or just say no to invitations or make up some stupid excuse as to why you can't meet up with people and you wish you could just say, 'Hey, sorry I'm feeling pretty depressed today so I can't make it.' Unfortunately it can be too hard to tell people you have depression, especially people you're not very close with and you wish they could just understand your situation.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">12. The decisions <i>you</i> make are the best cure for depression</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I've found that out of medication, therapy, counselling and online help, the only way I can cure my depression is to make the decision to do it myself. Anti-depressants can only get you so far and although <a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526"><span style="color: #e06666;">counselling and CBT</span></a> (Cognitive behavioural therapy) is extremely helpful, it's YOU who has to put it into practice and take the steps needed to make your depression better. I have to make myself get out and exercise, join a group, change my job, start a course, take a class etc. to put myself out there and stop hiding myself away to let the depression worsen.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">These are very important lessons I've learned from living with depression and understanding this horrible mental issue is the best way to combat it and beat it for good. Whether you've dealt with depression, anxiety or ocd, you can take the steps necessary to give yourself a better and happy life.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #e06666;">Try BetterHelp online counselling here</span></a></span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Pin it for later:</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT9JEglmmggksHiz6eNIIRtGC7vWW3kNRXS4X-REYAHzw6GWiGzvfGhUaG27YekCe2qHuUXXJ6c7Fbf-VM-CZFdplf0og6doRVx_YEoUd0zXSnW2MbkfnMOH4vsc7q7ltg8atUAZmapJ0/s1600/living+with+depression.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Depression has been a big part of my life for the past seven years and although I wish it  Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " border="0" data-original-height="1450" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT9JEglmmggksHiz6eNIIRtGC7vWW3kNRXS4X-REYAHzw6GWiGzvfGhUaG27YekCe2qHuUXXJ6c7Fbf-VM-CZFdplf0og6doRVx_YEoUd0zXSnW2MbkfnMOH4vsc7q7ltg8atUAZmapJ0/s1600/living+with+depression.png" title="Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned " width="202" /></a></div> </div>

Living With Depression: 12 Things I've Learned

Depression has been a big part of my life for the past seven years and although I wish it wasn't so familiar to me, I've come to...

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