How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

<div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some point in our life.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" /></a></div> Often, my clients and I use words such as <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">healthy </em>or <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">successful </i>when describing goals within their treatment. Many of my clients initially start their process with describing their conflicts and frustrations. It’s not uncommon to hear, “The way we argue is unhealthy. We desperately need help <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communicating </em>so we can have a successful relationship.”</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> A common misconception is learning to communicate more effectively will fix your relational issues. Although my counseling style teaches better communication and listening skills, it is not the <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">only component to creating a successful relationship. </em>Although communication is a key factor in enhancing understanding and facilitating connection within the relationship, it is in my opinion, that communication itself can’t sustain a successful relationship or deepen the connection and intimacy <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">entirely.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> So… then, what the heck <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">is a successful relationship </em>and what’s the effective recipe to get there?</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> “A healthy, successful relationship” is an <span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">evolution</span> of commitment, self-awareness and vulnerability.</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Unfortunately, a successful relationship does not have a finish line and it’s more about a deep sense of security rather than a distinguishable accomplishment. It challenges our traditional definitions of “success,” and it begins when two people know and understand themselves (or are consistently open to trying to<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">). </em>The evolution of creating a successful relationship happens when two people push their own boundaries to jeopardize their emotional safety with each other. It happens when both partners really understand themselves to the core of their emotions, needs, behaviors and insecurities. This is the bulk of <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">vulnerability</em>, which inspires natural relational growth and security.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> To be clear, being in a successful relationship does not void you or your partner of struggle, nor does it mean you are an expert communicator at all times. Creating a successful relationship is more about knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge when you’re reacting in a way that is pushing your partner away. It’s forcing yourself to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying it may be. It’s committing to your own self-development just as much as it’s committing loyalty to your partner.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> It’s knowing when your pride is in overdrive and your defensives are clogging your ability to be honest and authentic to yourself and/or to your partner. It is then, when <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communication </em>is extremely helpful. When you can articulate your needs and fears in a de-escalated way and ask for what you need, your partner <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">hears you.</em> You cannot effectively communicate (or begin the evolution of creating a successful relationship) if you aren’t attune to yourself or are not aware of your behaviors, intentions and needs. This is why I am suggesting that being a “good communicator” is more than just using <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I statements </em>and actively listening to each other. Being in a successful relationship requires vulnerability and self-awareness within the communication, which only makes it more effective.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I personally understand how difficult this process can be.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> As I have had my share of unhealthy relationship experiences in my past. As I reflect back to my past relationship failures, I can now acknowledge several things that took me years to understand. In those moments, I remember constantly feeling heartbroken, unworthy, insecure and completely insane. I never felt good enough for any of my “boyfriends” and always felt I had to prove or deny something deep within myself. I stumbled around for years just trying to find a partner<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> who wouldn’t leave me.</em> That seemed simple enough…<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> right? </em>I did not realize this at the time, but I was looking for a partner to help me feel secure with myself. This only put a lot pressure on my boyfriends in hopes that they could <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">fix </em>me, help me feel confident and lower my insecurities. Instead,<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>it produced the complete opposite outcome and most cheated on me or were rarely available at the times I needed them the most. This pattern reinforced to me for years, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I wasn’t worthy and would never be in a successful relationship.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" /></a>One day, I decided I needed to choose to be alone. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>A little bitter (at the time I believed I was on the path of relational destruction due to the “lack of good men out there”), I decided that being alone <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">had to be better </em>than dating men that had the tendency to bring out the worst in me. I wrote a list of all the things that I needed and wanted from a relationship. I laughed and then I cried; emotions of hope soon dwindled into sadness as I felt completely torn and discouraged. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How would I ever find a relationship like this, did it even exist? </em>Again, not realizing at the time, but I would soon realize that this relationship <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">does exist </em>but it requires a whole lot of work on <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">myself. </em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I went to graduate school to become a therapist (who would have thought?) and dug deep within my own process, I attended my own counseling and realized that a crucial part of this puzzle was missing all along.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;">  <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I had to establish a positive relationship with my own self before I was able to find, create and sustain a healthy relationship with someone else. </span>I had to look in the mirror and take accountability for my inability to process my own emotions and my refusal to be real with myself. I had to take ownership of my pain, insecurities and defenses. I had to accept these [personal] things were a huge contributing factor to my past failed relationships and recognize it wasn’t just because “<span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration-line: underline;">I picked the wrong men.”</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I was never in a “healthy,” successful relationship until I met my husband. How do I know? Well… Because, when I challenged myself to understand myself better, my self confidence grew and my intention of wanting a relationship shifted significantly. I attracted my husband with genuine qualities verses acts of desperation and insincerity. I was able to soothe myself when I felt uncomfortable, verses relying solely on him to take away my fears and then getting angry with him because he couldn’t. I pushed myself to be vulnerable and took the necessary risks which helped him understand me and prevented me from exploding with resentment as I used to do in the past. This left little to no room for him to have to make his own assumptions of my reactive behavior.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> All of this work I was doing on myself, (and I may add, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">all of the work he was also doing on himself), </em>made a huge difference in our abilities to get close to each other. It’s a relationship I never knew was possible. We’ve had our ups and definitely had our downs, but what makes our relationship “successful,” is the evolution of committing our lives to each other, as well as ourselves. We now have learned throughout the years how to show up and operate in our most authentic self and we constantly push ourselves to be transparent with each other. We are vulnerable, sometimes emotionally messy, but we are honest and true.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I would encourage you to reflect on your own behaviors and possible incongruences with your thoughts, actions and emotions. Especially before you are quick to blame your partner or your lack of partners when you’re feeling really misunderstood or alone. Building understanding within yourself is essential to promoting longterm success in your relationship(s). Check your patterns, your beliefs, your insecurities. Check your behaviors and your defenses. Understand what you need and why you need it. Be honest and vulnerable with yourself and it will take you and your relationship in a whole new direction. It’s terrifying, but it’s worth it!</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I’m here to help! Thanks for reading.</div>

How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some ...

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Important Of Healthy Relationship

<h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Our relationship with others is one major factor that characterizes us as humans and distinguishes us from animals. Because relationship makes the world go round, we all demand a healthy and happy relationship with our partners, loved ones and everyone we relate with on daily basis.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A healthy relationship is essential for maintaining our mental health and psychological problems affecting many people can be traced to abusive relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A lot of young persons have been in many bad relationships that they do not know what a healthy one looks like. These traits I’m sharing below should give you an idea of what to look out for in a relationship which is healthy.</div> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Both Partners Trust Each Other</strong></li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There is absolutely no relationship without trust. It is the bedrock of any kind of relationship you can think of.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In a healthy relationship, both partners can trust each other without any form of reservation. They can also vouch for each other’s character and be sure that even when saying the truth is not favourable, they would always be faithful to each other.</div> <ol start="2" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Openness</strong></li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Both partners in a healthy relationship can freely communicate their feelings, emotions and wants.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> They are not afraid to express how they feel, knowing fully well that the other partner is there to help them get through any issue they might be having.</div> <ol start="3" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Both Parties Are Responsible For Their Happiness</strong></li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In my post titled <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the principal way to finding happiness in your relationships</strong>, I made it clear that the first way to have a happy relationship with others is to first love yourself. That is, you must first be happy with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> People in a relationship must know that they are responsible for their own happiness. We often make the mistake of pushing the burden of making ourselves happy to the other person, however, this should not be.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Partners should know that they are there to compliment and support each other, not to shift responsibility entirely unto the other person.</div> <ol start="4" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Conflicts Are Handled Maturely</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the traits of a good relationship is that both persons involved deal with issues in a matured way. It is impossible for misunderstandings not to arise in an association of two different people, however, the conflict is resolved amicably and everyone moves on.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Those in healthy relationship do not make reference to their partner’s past mistakes. In addition, your thinking should not be how to jet out of the relationship every time conflict arises.</div> <ol start="5" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">No Abuse</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Abuse in relationships can be emotional, physical or verbal. All these are contrary to characteristics of a healthy relationship.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Both partners respect each other’s feelings not to engage in any form of abuse. Good relationships seek ways to settle scores without name calling, battery or adoption of  silent treatment.<br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://assets.vixendaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/signs-of-emotional-abuse-in-a-relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="728" height="160" src="https://assets.vixendaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/signs-of-emotional-abuse-in-a-relationship.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <a name='more'></a></div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <ol start="6" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Both Partners Put The Relationship First</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because they value each other, partners in healthy relationship do not do things or take important decisions that will affect the relationship without considering the other person. There is no selfishness in a good relationship.</div> <ol start="7" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Their Reason For Being Together Is Unconditional</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Today, almost everyone wants to be in a relationship because of the benefits they want to get from the other person.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A healthy relationship is an unconditional one, with love as the binding factor. Partners are not in it for financial, material or physical reason.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A healthy relationship can weather any storm because people are in it for the right reasons.</div> <ol start="8" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Relationship Is 100-100</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One piece of advice we hear from relationship counsellors is that a relationship should be 50-50, a good relationship, however, should be 100-100.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A healthy relationship is one in which both partners commit to giving 100% each.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The idea of giving a 50 means you are withholding some part which will not augur well if you are to get your partner to fully commit to the relationship.</div> <ol start="9" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Relationship Is Fun</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A very good trait of a healthy relationship is that you are enjoying it and not enduring. You can do things together and share wonderful moments.</div> <ol start="10" style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">No One Is Trying To “Manipulate” The Other</strong></li> </ol> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In a healthy relationship, partners are not trying to manipulate or fix each other.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Both persons respect each other’s differences and acknowledge that neither force nor nagging can change anyone.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are other characteristics to measure a healthy relationship, however, these are the most important ones.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Please bear in mind that a healthy relationship does not mean total absence of misunderstanding, however, if the relationship ticks more than 60 percent of these characteristics, then you can say that it is most likely a good one.<br /> <div> <br /></div> </div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> </div>

Important Of Healthy Relationship

Our relationship with others is one major factor that characterizes us as humans and distinguishes us from animals. Because relationship ma...

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How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this...

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12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up

<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKZft4EFTq9w7GzHjwdJyW04s5S5wy9inMKXbwLNPdpWuXlZ-JBFwb6dJmcDBch5Sh_c-ey0RWgsp7e-yUqTBXBzv7Wo92PdUnQOVhE1A_Ve-rRXmk17cxJbcxwg2-Gr8VPaJNo5Ejn1U/s1600/how+to+get+over+a+break+up.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Getting over a break up can be one of the toughest things you 12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up" border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="735" height="740" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKZft4EFTq9w7GzHjwdJyW04s5S5wy9inMKXbwLNPdpWuXlZ-JBFwb6dJmcDBch5Sh_c-ey0RWgsp7e-yUqTBXBzv7Wo92PdUnQOVhE1A_Ve-rRXmk17cxJbcxwg2-Gr8VPaJNo5Ejn1U/s1600/how+to+get+over+a+break+up.png" title="12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up" width="436" /></a></div> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Getting over a break up can be one of the toughest things you'll go through in life, especially if it was someone you loved and who meant a lot to you. </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Moving on from a break up is very difficult and challenging, and sometimes it feels like you're never going to get over it, but the reality is that, feelings fade over time and you <i>will</i> move on from this relationship and things will get better.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you or you knew the breakup had to happen, it's a hard thing to go through whether you wanted it to happen or not.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It's especially difficult to move on from a painful breakup when you still love the person and you didn't want to break up with them in the first place.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The change from being in a happy relationship and spending time with someone you love, to being alone and never seeing that person again is an extremely difficult situation to adjust to. </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">One of the toughest parts of a break up is not being able to contact that person anymore and not having them in your life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The way the relationship ended can be a big determining factor on how much pain you're going through. </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Whether it was a face to face breakup, a phone call breakup or if it ended over social media  (which you should never do because it's one the <b>most</b> horrible ways to end things with someone) you'll understandably be feeling a lot of pain and you'll find it hard to understand why the relationship has ended. It's hard to terms with the fact that that person isn't in your life anymore.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Related articles:</span><br /> <a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">15 Signs You Need To End Your Relationship Now</span></a><br /> <a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">10 Signs You're In A One-Sided Relationship</span></a></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Whether you're wondering how to get over a break up fast or want to move on from an ex, these are the <i>10 best ways to get over a breakup</i>:</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1. Let It All Out</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You can tell yourself to be strong and try not to let the break up get to you, but you're only human and you need to let yourself cry and be miserable for a few days. It's understandable that you'll be heartbroken after losing someone you love, so take some time to cry your eyes out, eat your favourite foods, binge watch a good TV show and give yourself the ultimate self care week. It may take days, weeks or even months to get all the emotions out, but let yourself feel the sadness and hurt instead of bottling it all up. You'll feel a million times better after having a good cry and letting all of your emotions out.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2. Get Rid Of Any Memories Of Them</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The saying 'out of site, out of mind,' definitely applies to breakups. If they broke your heart or you just want to move on from the breakup as quickly as possible, delete all of the photos you have on your phone together, get rid of any cute gifts they got you, hide anything away that reminds you of them at the back of your wardrobe or chuck it in the trash. You don't want to have constant reminders of them in your life, so have a spring clean and redecorate your life without them in it. You don't want to think you've moved on from them and then one day you walk past a teddy that they got you and all the emotions come flooding back.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3. Delete Them Off Social Media</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you've decided amicably to end the relationship, then you may not need to do this. But if it was a painful break up then you need to delete them off Snapchat/Instagram/Facebook etc. immediately. There's no point in trying to check up on what they're doing with their life now because it will only make you hurt more and make it harder to move on from them. Don't watch their insta or snap stories and resist the urge to stalk them on Facebook. Deleting your ex off social media is a big step in moving on without them.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4. Don't Try To Make Them Jealous</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It can be so tempting to post lots of stories and photos of you with friends out enjoying yourselves to show your ex what an amazing time you're having without them. However, they really don't even deserve to know what you're doing with your time now and you shouldn't waste your energy on trying to make them jealous and regret breaking up with you. They're not worth your time and so you should focus on yourself rather than trying to show them that you're happy without them.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>5. Don't Go Back To Them</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">When you're in the midst of your heartbreak and you're hurting a lot, sometimes all you want is to cuddle up with your ex and have everything be ok again like it was before. If they reach out to you, don't respond. It can seem extremely hard to do because even though they broke your heart, you still miss them and want to be with them at times. Have the strength to realise that that person was not the one for you and if you go back to them, you'll only end up breaking up again in a matter of months and have to go through the heartache all over again. Let go of the hope that your love might rekindle and realise that you're a much better person without them.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>6. Don't Stay Friends</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Staying friends with your ex rarely ever works. If they suggest that they want to keep you as a friend, it's giving you some type of hope that the relationship isn't 100% over. It is well and truly over. If your ex wants to stay friends after the break up, this can be like a power play so they have some time of control over the situation. You won't be able to completely get over them if you're still their friend and they might just be keeping you as an option in the future by still wanting to be your friend. If you wanted a friendship, you would of put them in the friend zone a long time ago.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>7. Start Reinventing Your Life</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">After you've gotten through most of the crying and depression stage of the break up, it's time to pick yourself up and start making an amazing life for yourself again. It's a huge shock to the system when you go from being in a relationship with someone to being single. You'll find yourself with a lot more time on your hands and wondering what to do instead of hanging out with your ex now. Take up a new hobby such as an exercise class or learning an instrument, and if you started doing this before you met your ex, then pick up where you left off and get back into doing things for yourself.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8. Hang Out With Friends</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Your friends are your support group in times of need and they will play a major part in helping you move on from a break up. Good friends will be there to hear you talk crap about your ex and listen to why they're a complete jerk. Go out with your friends for lunch or for a walk and have a night out to enjoy yourselves and realise that there's so many other people out there in the world. Your friends will give you great advice on how to deal with the breakup, especially if they've been through one themselves. Getting over a breakup is a lot easier when you have good people around you to help you get through it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9. Don't Start Dating Too Soon</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It can be temping to jump straight back on the dating grup band wagon and get back in them game as soon you've broken up with your ex. It's completely fine if you want to set up a Tinder profile or get on Bumble to distract yourself and realise that there are plenty more fish in the sea. However, you risk the rebound relationship situation by dating again too soon, so if you really want to date someone straight away, take your time with it and don't rush into anything serious. If you think it will help, then by all means get back out there whenever you feel like it!</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10. Keep Yourself Busy</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Whenever you find yourself alone with your thoughts, that's when you'll start to overthink about the relationship, such as why it ended and start getting emotional about the whole situation. Don't let your mind wander and start to think about what went wrong and how you could of done things differently. Keep your mind busy, even if you're alone at home, read a good book, run a bath, plan a holiday or travel, play music or do anything that you enjoy that will keep you occupied and not thinking about the breakup. It's hard enough to take your mind off your ex when all you seem to think about is them, so it's important to do things you enjoy to stop yourself from thinking about them.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11. Remember That 'The One' Is Still Out There</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">During a breakup, it can feel like you've lost the only person you ever wanted to be with. But the fact that you've both broken up shows that it wasn't meant to be and they weren't your happy every after. It sometimes feels like they're the only potential person for you in the world and you're never going to find someone who makes you happy again. The reality is that there are probably thousands of people out there that you could have a happy relationship, and now that you're not with out ex, you can start finding that one person who you're truly meant to be with. Just remember that the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with is still out there and you haven't even met them yet. There's so many exciting things coming your way!</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>12. Focus On You</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Now that you have your ex boyfriend or girlfriend out of your life, you can start focusing on you as a person. When you're in a relationship it sometimes feels like the two of you are one person and you do a lot of the same things together. Now's the time to start doing the things you've always wanted to do and focus on making yourself happy. If there's a fun new exercise class you've been wanting to try, join up this week. If you've been wanting to fix your diet then start experimenting with new foods and cooking. Have some self-care nights where you pamper yourself with a face mask, a good book and have a bath to relax. If you've always wanted to travel but felt like you couldn't because your partner didn't want to, start planning that trip now.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> Pin it for later:</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMvgncZQFu3UaxuOPQgBlie9oWR0DSDv9GJQKle8i4LmzCSzJqEZ4A2ZyUiwaReE3ELbgLYqiylzPcjSD7bURojyZUV1Y7cY1PesIQ2zz1RS_6iXx7v2vYQ8Qafzb-dq6yu7TChQ7h8Hc/s1600/how+to+get+over+a+break+up.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Getting over a break up can be one of the toughest things you 12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up" border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMvgncZQFu3UaxuOPQgBlie9oWR0DSDv9GJQKle8i4LmzCSzJqEZ4A2ZyUiwaReE3ELbgLYqiylzPcjSD7bURojyZUV1Y7cY1PesIQ2zz1RS_6iXx7v2vYQ8Qafzb-dq6yu7TChQ7h8Hc/s1600/how+to+get+over+a+break+up.png" title="12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up" width="210" /></a></div> </div>

12 Ways To Get Over A Break Up

Getting over a break up can be one of the toughest things you'll go through in life, especially if it was someone you loved and who ...

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9 Biggest Must Dos In Your Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dU07b0dc9oF2PPdrr1D5L9UA1hyphenhyphenLJ9f5jNGVovmIyCI0Ad0xzYcPI171JrEE65ACzfFCxvvD3jJg6MPsf7MqaXBYxTMRuWKl5ZB5X60r12MwGA60WlfP4Ald3GqFjGemGQjDk39vwq4/s1600/coupledating.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dU07b0dc9oF2PPdrr1D5L9UA1hyphenhyphenLJ9f5jNGVovmIyCI0Ad0xzYcPI171JrEE65ACzfFCxvvD3jJg6MPsf7MqaXBYxTMRuWKl5ZB5X60r12MwGA60WlfP4Ald3GqFjGemGQjDk39vwq4/s640/coupledating.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <br /></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Every serious relationship demands a couple of things, without them a relationship will begin or continue to have problems. If you want to ensure a healthy and happy relationship, these things listed below are a must-do to ensure your partner is happy and more in love than ever.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 9. EXPRESS</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> We have all heard this and it’s something we all already know but at times even though we know it we often forget the importance. We feel that we have done enough to express our love towards our partner and we start taking it for granted that our partner already knows that we love them. This is where things start to go wrong. Remember, It is never ever enough. You have got to keep on expressing in various ways, every day, to express your love to your partner. May it be a sticky note on the fridge or a kiss on the cheek, a compliment or giving your jacket to her on a cold night or watching his favourite sport with him! Just express in your special little ways.</div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 8. LISTEN AND BE HEARD</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Always be there to listen to your partner, whatever they have to say. Relationship is more than going out, having fun and being physical. Meaningful relationships are built on words and moments of silence you’ve spent with each other. Be the first one to ask your partner how there day has been, don’t just ask but listen carefully. Give your advice according to your understanding so your partner notices that you are taking interest. Similarly, share about your day, tell them details so they can be a part of your day as much as you are.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 7. TRUST THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> There is no relationship without trust. Often people find a relationship worth holding on to after various unpleasant experiences and that’s why many a times they have issues in trusting their partner. Learn to push your bad experiences behind you, in the past, where they belong and learn to trust your partner. Don’t get into a relationship unless and until you trust them completely.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 6. HELP THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When people say ‘be there for your partner’, they actually mean that you need to help them! Help them physically, emotionally, mentally and every which way possible. Whether it’s about fixing a chair or fixing your partner’s emotional state, you’ve got to help them because only you have been given that power by your partner. When they say they love you, that means they love every bit of you and everything you do, so be confident when you take a decision to help them in some way. Believe in yourself that you can fix whatever is wrong in their life.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 5. SURPRISE THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> It’s important to have the element of surprise in your relationship. It makes both of you to look forward to spending time with each other. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a new dress or an expensive cologne. It could even be something a lot simpler, like cooking for your partner after they have had a long tiring day.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Drawing a bath with candles and flowers for you and your partner to relax in or it could be as spontaneous as arranging a gaming night for your man and his friends. There are a thousand ways you can surprise your partner, you’ve just got to have that will every once in a while.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. APPRECIATE THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Again, even though you think your partner already knows how much you appreciate them, still do it.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Even if you have said it before, say it differently again. Everyone likes compliments and being appreciated throughout their lives. Have you ever heard of someone saying “I’m done with all the appreciation in my life, I don’t want it anymore!” No!… right? So always tell your partner how much you value the efforts and things they do for you.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. CHECK WITH THEM WHEN YOU BOTH ARENT TOGETHER</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> One thing I personally love is that after all these months, in fact almost a year, my partner often messages me at work to check how my day was going also if I took lunch, makes my day. Initially I thought this is something that happens in every relationship and after a few months it stops since you both gradually stop practicing it but the fact that she still does it makes me feel loved and cared for. Also, it makes me believe some things never change. Do that with your partner, it matters.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. HAVE A DAILY PRACTICE OF YOUR OWN</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Make a habit of something. Like I and my partner will never leave the house without a kiss and it’s the first thing we do when either one of us comes home. It’s our little practice and it’s something we take very seriously. Such practices are silent promises of a relationship that mark the continuity and the strength of a relationship. Whether It’s going for a walk every night or watching TV together, make a habit that involves the two of you, together.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW LUCKY YOU ARE</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> This is the most important thing that every person should do. At the end of the day when you lie down on the bed, recall every small thing your partner does that many others don’t do in their relationship! Be thankful for those things cause what you have today many don’t.</div> </span></div>

9 Biggest Must Dos In Your Relationship

Every serious relationship demands a couple of things, without them a relationship will begin or continue to have problems. If you wa...

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