How And Ways To Stop Repeating Past Mistakes In Love

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" While many of your difficulties in love are not really your fault How and ways to Stop Repeating Past Mistakes in Love" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/stoprepeatingpatternsinrelationships1-397x267.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While many of your difficulties in love are not really your fault (poor role models, dysfunctional patterns in your family growing up, etc.), it is your responsibility to move beyond them. The good news is that you can absolutely get past those old patterns in love and attract someone who will meet you on even ground and become the romantic partner you’ve always dreamed of having. The only hard part is that no one else is coming to make this situation better for you, and it is up to you to invest in doing the necessary work.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Why some people find love and others don’t has nothing to do with fate or worthiness but whether one has identified and cultivated the capacities that support happy, healthy, real love to flourish and thrive. The best place to begin creating a very different kind of relationship than any you’ve had in your past, <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">is in your own relationship with yourself.</em></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Any relationship you’ll ever have is only going to be as good as the relationship you have with yourself. And those places where you have problems relating to yourself will also be troublesome in creating a relationship with someone else. For instance, if you’re constantly making yourself wrong, you’ll find that eventually others will be more than happy for you to take the blame for everything going wrong between you. If you chronically berate yourself and speak in disrespectful ways to yourself and about yourself, you will exert an almost magnetic pull on even the most loving people around you to begin doing the same.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Some of these patterns might not show up immediately, but eventually they will. And when they do, you’ll be startled. You’ll wonder, how did I create another relationship with my critical father? How did I get into bed yet again with someone who is always making me wrong just like my mom? Yet, it’s not really your mother or your father. They may have treated you that way 20, 30, even 40 years ago, but actually it’s you who has been treating yourself the same way ever since.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Inside of not evolving that dynamic in your own relationship with yourself (which we will often not do when stuck in blaming our parents to the point where we are not taking responsibility for the choices we are making to perpetuate the same dynamic with ourselves), you will have a tendency to duplicate your old painful patterns in love again and again and again.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The way you can begin to make great progress in your relationship with yourself is to make a deep commitment to recognize and stand for your own value and worthiness to love and be loved.</em></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Make a promise to yourself to do whatever it takes…to go the extra mile in your efforts to become the man or woman you’d need to be in order to prepare yourself to have authentic love in your life.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Your commitment to yourself needs to then begin showing up in your actions…</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are they reflective of your commitment to have a great love in your life?</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you living in integrity with that vision?</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you taking the risk to show up in ways that are generative of the life you’re committed to creating?</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> To support you in your budding commitment towards self-love, let me explain where most people tend to get stuck: It’s often in learning how to connect with and gaji our own feelings and needs. Most of us were not taught how to check in with ourselves so we could learn to be aware and respectful of our own needs and desires. Some of us were even trained out of having our feelings and asserting our needs in ways that would have created healthy dynamics of mutuality, depth, understanding and authentic care. Yet these skills of self-awareness and self-care are foundational to being able to set clear, healthy boundaries that allow a relationship to flourish.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m not talking about walls here. Walls don’t let anybody else in. Boundaries, however, are fluid and allow us to be clear with others about what we can do, and what we can’t do, what we want and what we don’t want. They allow us to say no when something doesn’t feel aligned with our own well-being or integrity, and to say yes to those things that do. And, contrary to our fear that if we don’t give someone else everything they want from us, they might leave, boundaries actually serve to make our container of love stronger.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> For good boundaries, the ability to recognize yourself as a separate autonomous individual who is holding ultimate responsibility for your own happiness in life, is necessary in order to create a healthy, happy relationship with another human being.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A wonderful way to begin practicing honoring your own feelings and needs and setting good, healthy boundaries is to ask yourself in any given moment, “Where is my attention?” Most of us have our first attention on others and are more aware of the feelings and needs of others than we are of our own feelings and needs. This is the core of co-dependence and will create toxicity in relationships over time. For example, have you ever felt yourself merge so much with another that you became unable to differentiate their emotions and needs from your own? Have you ever believed that things would get better and that the relationship would succeed if you could just give more and step so fully into the other person’s shoes that you could entirely understand them? Have you ever found yourself disappearing your own feelings and needs in order to care for the feelings and needs of someone else? Many of us have. And it’s a misunderstanding of what mature love really is.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And so, in taking a stand to create happy, healthy love, you want to identify the growth and development you must begin to engage now in preparation for having this love. This particular practice is learning how to keep your first attention on yourself while also being sensitive and available to care for the feelings and needs of others.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> For many of us, this is a real evolutionary edge, for we have only before known either self-abandonment or self-absorption! But true love will require more of us. And our task in making a commitment to call in great love is to become a great lover. A lover of maturity and depth who has cultivated the capacity to show up as a grown-up in order to co-create a grown-up love. Commit to your own evolution in love…and your beloved cannot help but follow.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">With love,</em></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <i> Team</i></div> </div>

How And Ways To Stop Repeating Past Mistakes In Love

While many of your difficulties in love are not really your fault (poor role models, dysfunctional patterns in your family growing up,...

Read more »

10 Ways To Build Loving Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img alt="THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship 10 Ways to Build Loving Relationship" height="316" src="https://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/Y9Rm_i3NF-KSh9tEEJJHXwMubGAv0Mhwsai8mPYXA9g/mtime:1438161330/sites/default/files/styles/header_slider/public/image_blog/Z_7.jpg?itok=pLRen4Vl" width="640" /><br /> <br />  <span style="background-color: white; color: #131313; font-family: "fselliot" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700;">THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship.</span><br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These are indispensable tips, written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family, and even work relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without fear. </span><br /> Don't interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don't make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you're too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Remember: your partner is not the enemy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">2. Separate the facts from the feelings.</span><br /> What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I'm seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What's the real truth?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Once you're able to differentiate facts from feelings, you'll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">3. Connect with the different parts of yourself. </span><br /> Each of us is not a solo instrument. We're more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your "gut" saying?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> For example: My mind is saying "definitely leave her," but my heart says "I really love her."</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">4. Develop compassion.</span><br /> Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don't have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoguing respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">5. Create a "we" that can house two "I's." </span><br /> The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or herself — compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual "I" contributes to creatimg a "we" that is stronger than the sum of its parts. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">6. Partner, heal thyself.</span><br /> Don't expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don't try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">7. Relish the differences between you. </span><br /> The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don't need a relationship with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they're often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">8. Ask questions.</span><br /> All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners' behavior means. For example: "She doesn't want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore." We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what's not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">9. Make time for your relationship. </span>No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making "play dates" and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">10. Say the "hard things" from love.</span><br /> Become aware of the hard things that you're not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you're feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.</div> </div>

10 Ways To Build Loving Relationship

  THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship. How many of us have learned how to build loving relatio...

Read more »

How To Make Your Girlfriend Happy Always

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 30px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 25px 0px 10px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"> <a href="http://iloverelationship.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Make-Your-Girlfriend-Happy-Always.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" or intend to have one very soon and the thought of how to make your girlfriend How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy Always" border="0" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2214" height="195" src="http://iloverelationship.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Make-Your-Girlfriend-Happy-Always.jpg" style="border: 1px solid rgb(203, 205, 204); display: inline; height: auto; list-style: none; margin-top: 2px; max-width: 100%; outline: none; padding: 4px;" width="400" /></a></h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> Do you have a girlfriend? or intend to have one very soon and the thought of how to make your girlfriend happy always is troubling you. You may need not trouble any further as in this article, you’re going to learn what you need to do to make your girlfriend happy always and ensure that there is no dolling moment in your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> When a girl is in the hand of a guy who is affectionate and loving, she enjoy it so much that she won’t let anything spoil her happy presence. Girls will always love to be in a relationship with a wonderful guy who treats them in a very special way but it’s not always easy for guys to treat their girls in a special ways at all time, although guys still try hard to make them special but somehow along the way, the treatment get overshadow with some other issues in his life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> Well! If you want to make her happy always, and as well make other couples envies your perfect relationship, you’ll need to think in her perspective. When both lovers in a relationship think from the other partner’s perspective, the relationship can only get better and more loving with time.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em; list-style: none; margin: 25px 0px 10px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">Below are the things you need to do to make your girlfriend happy always, get pampered and get pleased.</b></h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">1.</b> Give her a memorable gift of love on her special occasion</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">2.</b> Make her friends Jealous her, give her that special love and affection especially when she is in the present of her friends. When her friends notice how good a catch you are, her heart will swell with pride and happiness, and you too will feel you’re doing something great as well.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">3.</b> Her friends and family should be your close pal. For every girl, friends and family mean a lot them because these are the people she has shared some intimate details if not all her intimate detail of her dear life with them. She even listen to her friends and family to a large extent that she takes advice from them. So, getting close to these set of people will make her happy the more knowing that her selections of friends are welcome in your side.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">4.</b> Give her ultimate attention when she is with you; don’t try to ignore her maybe because of your love for sport at the time she is with you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">5.</b> Give respect to her opinion no matter how silly it looks before you</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">6.</b> Compromise your wants for her needs, you may want to watch your favourite Manchester United Football team but she want to watch a romantic movie, you have to let her want take the centre state. She will feel more appreciated knowing how you give up on your want for hers.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">7.</b> Don’t do things as if you know everything, always ask for her help and opinion</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">8.</b> Show her public display of affection and make her feel special.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">9.</b> Tease her often and make her laugh, just be humorous.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">10.</b> Make her feel secure, girls love to be protected by their boyfriends</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">11.</b>  Give much of your attention to her</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">13.</b> Make sure there is enough communication between both of you at all time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">14.</b> Women love compliments because it makes them feel much more appreciated, so, you need to compliments her to feel that appreciation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> <b style="border: 0px none; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">15.</b> Let her understand that you’re just lucky to have such a nice girl like her, and make sure you remind her of this always.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: 'Droid Sans', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; outline: none; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: justify;"> You may not totally accept the 15 points I mention above but I can tell you that, no girl will ever get them from her boyfriend and still remain unhappy in the relationship. They are just happiness string that you can pull at all time and make your girlfriend happy always.</div> </div>

How To Make Your Girlfriend Happy Always

Do you have a girlfriend? or intend to have one very soon and the thought of how to make your girlfriend happy always is troubling you. ...

Read more »

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.   Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

Read more »

Ninetips For Building A Loving Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #222222; float: left; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="266" src="http://ioneblackdoctor.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/179133949.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="400" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These indispensable tips were written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"> <div id="mobile_ad_top"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself,breathe and “calm down.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <em>Remember: your partner is not the enemy.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <em><br /></em></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>2. Separate the facts from the feelings.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong><br /></strong><strong>3. Connect with the different parts of yourself.</strong>What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your ‘gut’ saying? For example: My mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,’ but my heart says ‘I really love her.’ Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>4. Develop and cultivate compassion.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>5. Create a “we” that can house two “I’s”.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to the creation of a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of <em>good fire</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>6. Partner, heal thyself.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>7. Ask questions when you’re unsure or are making assumptions.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>8. Make time for your relationship.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “playdates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>9. Say the “hard things” from love.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.</div> </div>

Ninetips For Building A Loving Relationship

How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to ...

Read more »

6 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Your Partner

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="A loving relationship is something to treasure 6 Ways to Bring Out the Best in Your Partner" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/committedpartners-400x230.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Congratulations! You have found someone with whom you want to share your time, your feelings, your love; your life. You have been given a precious gift. A loving relationship is something to treasure, to nurture and cultivate. Your connection should deepen with time and allow you to evolve as a couple as well as individually. While there are many ways to foster the best in your relationship, one approach is to encourage the best in your partner. Below are six basic principles to help guide you along the way.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">See the Best</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What do you love about your partner? In order to bring out the BEST qualities in someone, you have to know what they are. Often, the qualities we resonate with are those that pair with our own core values. Define what these values are for you. How do you see these manifesting in your partner? Perhaps you recognize kindness, compassion, generosity, integrity, or peace. These are the types of qualities that serve to enhance relationships. Remember those times when you first discovered these great qualities in them? It felt great! It felt like a warm hug expanding from the inside out.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Judge Not</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Too often we forget about that warm hug feeling. Instead of remembering all of the wonderful qualities that brought us together, we tend to focus on the little things (read – unimportant) from day to day that tend to agitate us. At the time (or even time after time), these may seem like a big deal, but are they in conflict with your core values? Or are they minor annoyances that may inconvenience you or may seem thoughtless?  Do these things change the essence of the human being you have come to love?  Also bear in mind that we all have the ability to annoy one another. Remember the old saying, “When one finger is pointing at someone else, the other three are pointing back at you.” Try to take a look at those three fingers before you let those little annoyances get to you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Communicate with Compassion and Honesty</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Find ways to express to your loved one all of these things that make him important to you. When the small ordinary things do get the best of you, choose your words wisely and with love. Remember that words have power. Words have the ability to raise her up or wound her for a lifetime. Chose your words with kindness and care. Come from a place of love. Taking tips from Newberg and Waldman’s <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Words Can Change Your Brain</em>:  Take deep breaths, relax, begin with a compliment, and speak slowly and briefly.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Pay Attention and Show Appreciation</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Today’s world spins so quickly. Days come and go, filled with work, family, activities – life!  Before you know it, weeks, months or even years have passed. Were you paying attention? Did you notice the special moments in the day when he exemplified that quality that endeared him to you? Did you recognize the deeds that demonstrated she really is the one for you? It doesn’t take time. It doesn’t cost a dime to simply notice  — and say thank you. Simply offer your partner a sincere thank you from the heart for being the person with whom you fell in love. Don’t let a day pass without noticing, recognizing and appreciating.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 5. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Empathize</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Too often when we are hoping to bring out the BEST in a person or situation, we focus on action items such as doing a favor, giving a gift, going out on a special date or an act of service. Perhaps before we think about “doing” we need to practice “feeling.” When we empathize with our loved one, we feel situations and life the same way she does. He feels listened to, respected and understood. This helps build trust in the relationship. When we establish that deep level of trust and understanding, each person in the relationship can feel safe to allow their innermost “best” to shine through.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 6. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Be the Best You Can Be</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Be happy…the only things we have control over are our own feelings and behavior. Happiness and positive actions and attitudes are contagious. Remember your core values? Personify them. It’s certain they will be mirrored back to you. Happiness and contentment are yours. You and your partner flourish. Your relationship thrives.</div> </div>

6 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Your Partner

Congratulations! You have found someone with whom you want to share your time, your feelings, your love; your life. You have been give...

Read more »

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

<header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> Married Sex Can be Great Sex</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-768x513.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S.jpg 848w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <br /> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <em>Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some of the unique reasons it can be so satisfying.  He encourages couples to understand their ruts and look for opportunities for change.</em></div> You might have read about—or personally experienced—the challenges some married couples (or couples in long-term relationships) face when it comes to keeping sexual desire and sexual passion alive. The newness of a relationship clearly brings with it certain perks, one being the euphoria and excitement that seems to envelop every aspect of our life (including our sexuality). It’s not uncommon for married couples to look back fondly on the days when more frequent love-making, greater sexual exploration and risk-taking, and heightened sexual intensity were a part of the relationship landscape.<br /> The struggle of married couples—as well as couples in long-term relationships—to keep sex a rewarding part of their union is the reason I created <i>How to Spice Up Your Marriage</i><em>.</em><br /> But this is only part of the picture for married couples. Clearly, not all couples who have been together for years (or even decades) complain about a sexless marriage or have to settle for mediocre sex. In fact, a percentage of married couples report that sex within their long-term union has benefits they couldn’t have imagined. Even if the frequency of sex has diminished, these couples report high levels of sexual satisfaction, and a deep and meaningful intimacy that arises from sex.<br /> Let’s turn our attention to five benefits of married sex (as well as sex in a long-term relationship).<br /> <h3> Sex As an Expression of Love</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“Every time I have sex with my wife, it is an act of deep, profound love.”</em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Ken, married almost twenty years</div> </blockquote> It’s usually assumed that couples who are married love each other, unless, of course, their love has faded and they’re heading for divorce or staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. But for the many married couples who do love each other, they have the wonderful opportunity to express and share their love through sexual expression. The entwining of sex and love takes sex to new heights for many couples—in these instances, the act of sex itself becomes a powerful way to transform the subjective feelings of love into tangible acts of loving expression and appreciation.<br /> <h3> The Benefits of a Shared History</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“Married sex is like dancing with a partner you are totally familiar with; it makes for a great dance because you know his particular rhythms and moves.” </em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Holly, married fourteen year<strong>s</strong></div> </blockquote> A deep connection arises out of a shared history where trust is established. It is through a couple’s shared history that a deeper knowing and understanding of the other occurs—a knowing that results not just from time spent together, but from ongoing, meaningful communication. For intimacy to be nurtured, the evolution of this communication must include discussions about one another’s most important desires and longings; sexual and emotional likes and dislikes; as well as an understanding of each other’s hopes, dreams and vulnerabilities.<br /> When this knowing occurs in the bedroom, a sexual empathy is set in motion that becomes part of the foundation for a couple’s sexual exploration. Great sex arises from sexual empathy: a mutual appreciation of what each partner/spouse needs sexually, as well as emotionally.<br /> <h3> A Sexual Foundation Built upon Emotional Security</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“The longer we’ve been married, the more secure I feel in our relationship. That security allows me to take risks sexually with my wife. I always felt sexually anxious the times I had sex and didn’t know the person really well.”</em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Michael, married seven years</div> </blockquote> When you love someone, they have a great deal of power and influence over you (there’s no denying this fact). Feelings of insecurity and anxiety arise when we start to feel we no longer matter to our partner, that our needs and concerns are falling on indifferent ears. But when we feel emotionally secure and safe, a whole new world of possibilities is opened to us.<br /> Sexually, this might take the form of taking greater risks sexually (like it did for Michael in the above quote)–a giving of the parts of you no one else gets to see (your emotional vulnerabilities, as well as a sharing of your sexual longings and fears). This emotional security gives you greater emotional and sexual freedom; a freedom to let your guard down and be swept away in the mutual pleasures and connecting moments of sexual intimacy.<br /> <h3> When Sexual Passion and Love Converge</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“I’ve had passion without love and love without passion. Now I have both, and it’s indescribable.” </em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Raquel, married eleven years</div> </blockquote> One of the common sexual complaints of couples in long-term relationships is diminished passion—what was once spontaneously ignited now requires effort and planning. Many of these couples might still have a rewarding sex life (“We enjoy sex whenever we have it…<i>if</i> we have it…”), even if their sexual dance has become somewhat predictable. But for some married couples, passion and love have blended, making for mind-blowing sex.<br /> These couples aren’t afraid to be sexually adventurous. They trust each other enough to try new things and give fully of themselves. They communicate effectively about their sexual needs and use their deep knowledge of each other to generously give and openly receive sexual and sensual pleasure. And, most importantly, these couples create a shared space (unencumbered by the stresses and obligations of daily life) where sexual passion is allowed to take root.<br /> <h3> Playing Between the Familiar and the Unknown</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“I got so turned on when my wife did something totally unexpected the other day…she became a little unrecognizable to me in that moment, and I have to admit, it was hot…”</em><i> </i></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Daniel, married four years</div> </blockquote> Part of the emotional security married couples take comfort in arises out of the familiar and predictable routines that come to define their couplehood. Psychologist Esther Perel, in her brilliant book <i>Mating in Captivity</i> describes how a certain level of emotional closeness (the hallmark of a loving marriage) also has the potential to extinguish sexual desire. It’s when a level of psychological separateness occurs that the other person can be seen and experienced; and it is in this contact with a separate other that the fires of sexual passion are able to ignite.<br /> Why does this make married sex so amazing? It’s a very different experience having someone you know well (your spouse/partner) let go sexually and/or act in a surprising or provocative manner, compared to someone you’ve just met or don’t know so well. Married couples are in an enviable position in this regard since they can bounce back and forth between the familiar/secure and the novel/tantalizing. In the psychic space between these seemingly contradictory experiences, a tension exists, a tension that can fan the flames of sexual desire and allows for passion’s potential.<br /> While the above list is by no means exhaustive, it does point to some important benefits that married couples can enjoy when it comes to sex. The loss of sexual intimacy and passion in long-term relationships is not an <i>inevitable</i> outcome of domesticity. In fact, couples who have been together for a long time have unique opportunities to build upon their emotional foundations of love and security, whether this involves nurturing love and emotional intimacy through sex, or pushing against each other’s sexual boundaries in order to stimulate moments of sexual excitement.<br /> The challenge is for married couples to identify any routines that may have led to relationship and sexual ruts, the routines they may too heavily rely on out of habit or complacency. Once those routines are identified, you can create and nurture opportunities that make your sex life a rich and meaningful part of your marriage or long-term relationship.</section>

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

Married Sex Can be Great Sex Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some o...

Read more »

Ten Ways To Create A Strong, Intimate Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><img src="http://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Love1.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></strong></div> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:</strong></div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “one,” you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">.</em></div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. See your partner for who he or she really is.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> idea</em> of them. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. Be willing to learn from each other.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Get comfortable being alone.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> In order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Own who you are.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> We generally grasp at<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </strong>romantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn’t get what we were looking for.</div> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Embrace ordinariness</strong>.</h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Expand your heart.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.</div> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Focus on giving love.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">we</em> are loved more deeply.</div> <h4 style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Bitter; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin: 1em 0px 0.8em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Let go of expectations.</strong></h4> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.</div> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.</div> <div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.11680030822754px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> These are only a few ways to explore real intimacy.</div> </div>

Ten Ways To Create A Strong, Intimate Relationship

Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship: 1. Use relationships to teach you h...

Read more »

5 Biggest Dont’S Of A Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbPWVu73FAcGJSDFPKlr4Ko9oo0aaxvFZroTgWQ-ovgTsGwCIoTQrdN5AvajuuNJIPOaFYwnxH3Dq8nQPTUeJBnqCe_ZY0_6_5VyBrbcMvj9Y7QWqJvsVYvZLVNl8QL6euyrGMWNS0NI/s1600/are-your-expectations-too-high-or-too-low-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbPWVu73FAcGJSDFPKlr4Ko9oo0aaxvFZroTgWQ-ovgTsGwCIoTQrdN5AvajuuNJIPOaFYwnxH3Dq8nQPTUeJBnqCe_ZY0_6_5VyBrbcMvj9Y7QWqJvsVYvZLVNl8QL6euyrGMWNS0NI/s400/are-your-expectations-too-high-or-too-low-large.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> What if someone could give you a checklist of the things you are not supposed to do in a relationship? What if someone could just give you the key to all your problems? <span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5;">Here is a list of things that often cause problems in a relationship. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5;">Avoid those huge fights by following these simple things.</span></div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 5. KEEP THINGS PERSONAL</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> The biggest fights I have come to witness throughout my life is because of involving a third person in a couple’s personal matter. Be very careful when you discuss your relationship with a friend, it’s all right to share a few things with them to help you get clarity but not everything is right to share. You and your partner should have a few things between the two of you and you two only. Sharing the intimate details of a relationship causes people to take your relationship as something that can be commented on openly and when that starts happening to much that might at some point hurt your partner. So keep things personal!</div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. NEVER ACT ACCORDING TO HOW SOMEONE ELSE IS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> We often start taking too many advices from people who aren’t even in the same situation as us. In fact, we often listen to how other people talk about their relationships and start to look down upon our own. I have seen many of my friends listening to a girl flaunting how her boyfriend got her something, this would make them feel bad about their own relationships. People who were completely content with their relationships two minutes ago suddenly become insecure and unhappy. When this happens people tend to react in different negative ways, they don’t accept that they feel jealous or maybe they don’t feel appreciated.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Whenever you hear someone talk like that, listen, but at the same time remind yourself of all the things you have and they don’t. Be thankful and you will never feel unappreciated.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. TALK, DON’T SCREAM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> As small as this one seems it fixes a lot of problems. It is important that you and your partner define the lines not to be crossed in any argument. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">Every duduk perkara in the world is solved through words.</strong></em> If eventually it has to be solved through words, why scream and yell at each other. Yelling makes even the most logical statement seem harsh and illogical. So make a point through your words and not your pitch. You will be surprised how easily things can be solved when you talk it out instead of yelling or fighting.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. THINK BEFORE YOU REACT, DON’T DO SOMETHING OUT OF ANGER</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Relationships are always challenged by misunderstandings. Do not give in to these misunderstandings and react without talking it out with your partner. I am sure you all have witnessed this somewhere in your life, misunderstandings can happen out of nowhere and that’s the true test of a relationship. You need to keep yourself calm and not accept something you know, superficially, as the whole truth. If there is something that has bothered you about your partner then confront them sensibly. Most things that you do out of anger will end up as a disaster.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Never ever take your partner for granted. When you do that, it is extremely obvious to your partner. Nothing will last forever if you keep assuming that without any effort or recognition your partner will stick with you. When you don’t appreciate your partner for the small and big things, they subconsciously start looking for the appreciation somewhere else. Why let your partner slip away from your own hands. Appreciate them and don’t take things that they do as their duty. If they decide to be caring, compromising and loving, they are doing it because they love you and they believe you deserve it so in return you should give them your appreciation equally.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> Talk to me</h3> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Have you made one of these mistakes in your relationship? Have you learned from them? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!</div> </span></div>

5 Biggest Dont’S Of A Relationship

What if someone could give you a checklist of the things you are not supposed to do in a relationship? What if someone could just give ...

Read more »