3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce 3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes that Lead to Divorce" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/whycouplesdivorce-400x267.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and fighting are the manifestation of deeper behavior patterns that undermine marriages. These three common marriage mistakes are at the root of what make many unions fizzle:</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Altruism</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Altruism, also known as selflessness or even self-sacrifice, sounds like a good thing in a relationship. It’s comforting to know that your partner would do anything to protect or help you, and you would do the same for him or her. Unfortunately, outside of the occasional emergency situation, altruism is a damaging habit. The happiest and most enjoyable marriages are ones in which both spouses feel that their concerns, desires and needs are met and valued. You and your spouse should feel that each of you has power and significance in the marriage. Altruistic behavior denies that importance. Over time, constantly suppressing your desires and needs for those of your spouse can lead to a disorder of power in the relationship, which, even if voluntary, can lead to depression and resentment.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Avoid this marriage pitfall by speaking up. Make your preferences and needs known to your spouse, even if you think the matter isn’t a big deal. Want Italian for dinner when your spouse wants Chinese? Say so! Just remember to speak your mind pleasantly and tactfully. And make sure you have the marriage skills to turn the occasional difference of opinion into a discussion rather than an argument.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Negativity</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Negativity is the number one contributor to an unpleasant environment that can eventually erode the whole marriage. Negativity includes small gestures such eye rolling, out of place humor, sarcasm, and signs of frustration, as well as more obvious negative comments such as disparaging your spouse’s opinion, mocking, and insults. Every piece of negativity, big or small, can have an enormous impact on the climate in your marriage. Negativity breaks down the trust you have for your partner to be a loving and supportive haven from the world’s challenges. It makes you not want to be around each other. It can also instantly trigger arguments.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Monitor yourself carefully for negative body language and speech patterns and try to eliminate them completely. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get frustrated or upset at something your spouse has done. Simply tell him or her about your feelings using, calm, neutral language. Focus on yourself by using the phrase “When you … I feel …” instead of inviting defensiveness with you-statements. Also explain to your spouse how much it hurts when he or she uses negativity towards you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Loss of non-sexual intimacy</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Since physical intimacy depends on feeling comfortable with your partner, physical affection is one of the first victims of rampant negativity in a marriage. This is unfortunate because physical affection is the glue of marriages. Loss of physical intimacy can precipitate the loss of emotional intimacy, increasing distance in a relationship, sexual affairs, and finally divorce.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Physical affection means much more than sex. It means, cuddling, hugs, kissing, holding hands, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder or stroking an arm.  New couples display this non-sexual intimacy constantly and it signals that they are attracted to and interested in each other.  In addition, researchers have found that non-sexual intimacy is a significant contributor to long-term marital happiness. This warm, positive, skin-to-skin contact releases the same bonding chemicals in your brain as sex. While a marriage may be fine without sexual intercourse (as long as both spouses are on the same page about it), it will likely struggle mightily without any physical intimacy.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The homework to remedy this marriage duduk masalah is easy: set the goal of touching your spouse in a positive way ten times daily. Then increase that frequency! Adding non-sexual intimacy to your marriage is a more low-pressure goal than initiating sex. And since regular physical contact can make you both more receptive to sensual experiences, it can by a good way for a sexless marriage to ease into more frequent sex.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Have you noticed any of these common marriage mistakes in your marriage or new relationship? Not to worry. In fact, noticing them is the first step in fixing them and building the foundation for a strong, happy future together. It is never to late to start your happily-ever-after.</div> </div>

3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and...

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Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <img src="https://ronernbphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/300_arguing_couple.jpg" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">is </em>the bomb is just another way of saying, “We’re an awesome team, and we’re in this parenting thing together!” If you’re at that good place in your marriage, great!  If you’re not quite there, iSpecialist Kathy Peel gives 6 Solutions for 6 Common Marriage Problems that can especially help if you think your husband is not stepping up enough at home.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Marriage Problem: Your husband doesn’t appreciate what you do at home.</strong></div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> His standard greeting as he comes in the door and glances around the messy living room is, “So what did you do all day?”  You are irritated because he doesn’t appreciate your hard work at home and in fact expects you to do more to meet his needs.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Schedule time to talk with him alone.  Before bringing up your feelings, listen to his.  Tell him your goal is to be a good wife, mother, and family manager.<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">  </strong>Talk about how you can work together to make your home run more smoothly.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Marriage Problem:  Your Husband spends too little time helping </strong>out with housecleaning, cooking, or caring for your children.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Take time to discuss your need for help and why he hasn’t done more to assist you.  Perhaps he felt he’d be intruding your territory, so he backed off.  Maybe has tried in the past and your standards were so high he felt frustrated and scolded rather than appreciated for his effort.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Marriage Problem: You try to make him feel guilty </strong>for refusing to step up and help around the house.  You’re frustrated by his uncooperative attitude.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Trying to manipulate him using guilt usually worsens the situation.  Instead, thank him any time you catch him helping around the house.  Also, consider that many men like options.  Rather than ordering him to do something, give him a list of chores and ask him to select several to complete.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Marriage Problem: He’s oblivious. </strong>While it’s perfectly obvious to you what needs to be done around the house, your husband seems totally oblivious.  You get tired of telling him to do the same things over and over.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Besides being gracious and patient, keep in mind that everyone is different, and he actually really might not see what needs to be done.  There are areas in all of our lives where we don’t live up to each other’s expectations.  See solutions 1-3 for ideas on how to approach him.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Marriage Problem: You don’t engage. </strong>You’ve come to see your husband as little more than your backup in managing one crisis after another in your household.  You seldom interact unless you’re dealing with a problem.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>If you find yourself resenting your husband or appreciating him only for the help he offers around the house, be careful. Such an attitude will erode your marriage.  Begin giving to your marriage, whether by a monthly date night or by regularly praying together.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Marriage Problem: You’re at a loss.  </strong>You feel like your marriage is in trouble but you don’t know what to do.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Ask your husband if he would be willing to go with you to a counselor.  If he won’t go, you can gain insight by going on your own.</div> </div>

Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse  is  the bomb is just another way o...

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Daily Marriage Tips

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.regalrealness.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/stock-footage-african-american-couple-kissing-and-looking-into-eachother-s-eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.regalrealness.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/stock-footage-african-american-couple-kissing-and-looking-into-eachother-s-eyes.jpg" /></a></div> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> </div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <br /> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For April 1, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Laughter, when shared, is a healing balm. Share jokes today. Does your family have any stories about family foibles that get repeated at family gatherings? It doesn’t matter that it’s embarrassing; it becomes family mythology!</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 31, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Before Easter arrives, is there anything for which you need to ask your spouse’s forgiveness? Ask your spouse, and encourage him or her to do the same.</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 30, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Email a love letter to your beloved today. It needn’t be long, but it can be romantic!</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 29, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mk 15:34) Have there been times when you have felt forsaken by God? Has he later proved his presence and love to you? Praise God for his love and presence in your life and marriage.</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 28, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Let today be a “Change It Up” day. Often marriages get stale because they get into ruts. Change something today. It could be simple, like the food you eat, or more challenging, like a bad habit.</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 27, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> How do you respond in love when you’re angry with your spouse? It may require calling a “time out” on yourself. After you calm down a bit, you can talk about the issue more charitably.</div> </div> <div class="tip" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> <div class="tip-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; float: left; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px; text-transform: capitalize; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> Daily Marriage Tip For March 26, 2015:</div> <div style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-size: 1.2em; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 477px;"> How do you build trust in a marriage? It’s like a bank account – as you deposit honest deeds and words, trust builds up. It’s earned over time and grows. The same works for children who ask, “Don’t you trust me?” Remind them to make deposits now to build up </div> </div> </div>

Daily Marriage Tips

Daily Marriage Tip For April 1, 2015: Laughter, when shared, is a healing balm. Share jokes today. Does your family have any...

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The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> The Ebb and Flow of Marriage</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relationships have an advantage in doing better over the long haul.<br /> Consider for a moment how much you’ve changed in your maturity, likes, dislikes, priorities, stressors, life experiences, etc.  If you haven’t changed a bit – consider yourself extremely unique.<br /> Most of us experience a change in ourselves to some degree over time.  A marriage or long-term relationship will also change.<br /> <strong>Here are a few ways couples can navigate the inevitable change of their marriage:</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" border="0" class="size-medium wp-image-2825 alignright" height="243" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-350x284.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage.jpg 385w" style="cursor: move; margin-top: 5px;" title="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" width="300" /></a></div> <ul> <li>Check-in with each other periodically.<ul> <li>How are things going?</li> <li>How are you doing?</li> <li>How are we doing?</li> </ul> </li> <li>Make adjustments in the way things have always been done.<ul> <li>Break routines</li> <li>Do things differently</li> <li>Shake it up a bit</li> </ul> </li> <li>Prioritize your relationship.  It’s very easy to take your eyes off of each other, especially after having children and other life stressors show up.</li> <li>Get away.  An overnight can do wonders for your relationship.  Don’t underestimate the power of a new environment away from your routines and responsibilities.</li> <li style="text-align: left;">Laugh and create new memories.  Don’t allow a negativity bias to creep up in your relationship.  Counter it with some good laughs and positive experiences to counteract negative experiences.</li> </ul> Just because your marriage has “changed” isn’t automatically cause for alarm.  It’s about addressing the change together honestly  and finding creative ways to adapt to that change.<br /> If you are concerned that so much has changed at this point that your marriage feels disconnected and the gap too wide to bridge without assistance, find a local couples counselor to help.  If you’re not quite ready for couples counseling you can try my tool for couples, The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples, to help you strengthen the foundation of your relationship.</section></div>

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relatio...

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Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://jadeafrican.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/angry-african-american-couple-400x295.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with your partner? If you are having trouble to maintain a good relationship with your wife, then you need to follow these simple yet effective formula to re-establish a good relationship with your wife that can be extended for longer.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Change Yourself</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If your attempts to change your partner’s behavior have not gone well so far, then it is time that you changed yourself.<br />• It would be better off for you to figure out what you could do to stay loving and good humored with your wife.<br />• You need to let go your ego and behave the way she wants you to. This is one of the easy ways for resurrecting your marriage.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Take Decisions Jointly</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is better you adopt a policy to reach solutions to problems jointly. If any one of you takes an upper hand in solving the problem, then the other’s ego will be hurt. By jointly discussing a dilema and coming out with a good solution will help you to put away all your differences with your partner.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Spend More Time With Your Partner</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the easy ways to recreate those happy moments of marriage once again is to spend quality time with your partner.<br />• There is no harm in smiling, hugging, caressing, being appreciative as well as having more sex with your partner.<br />• The feeling that you care for her and her feelings will drive her to be more loving and passionate to you.<br />• Helping her out in her jobs, agreeing more and praising her at every right opportunity is sure to increase her love towards you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Do Away With Negativity</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you would like to lead a peaceful and taint free relationship, then it is important for you to throw all the negativity out of the window. All sorts of criticisms, accusations, blames, digs, bad remarks, anger and sarcasms will only take your relationship from bad to worse. If you want to survive in a relationship, then you must make sure that the ratio of good to bad interactions is five to one. Aim higher for extending your relationship life long.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Never Fall For Relationship Destroying Habits</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you are a person who is having an extramarital affair, having drug addictions or is an excessively angry person, then you are not going to sustain your marriage. It is better to get help and to get out of these habits and to lead a happy life with your spouse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Learn The Skills Of Happy Marriage</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> No one can be a perfect husband or a wife. But, you can reach near perfection by going through a lot of marriage and relationship books as well attend marriage education courses to learn certain skills to develop a healthy partnership with your spouse. You will be able to not just save your marriage, but will also make it to be a highly successful one.</div> </div>

Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with ...

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Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <img src="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">marriage</a></strong>, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise,<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset. </div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you're spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here are the 4 main skill ares you need:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Emotional self-regulation</strong>. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months (or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things), you've got some important learning to do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Communication</strong>. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Conflict resolution</strong>. All couples have differences. Successful couples know how to start with a "his-way" and a "her-way" and end up with an "our-way" that they both feel good about. That's true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">sex</a></strong> life passionate.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Positivity.</strong> Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">affection</strong>, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The susila of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> ....</div> </div>

Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

marriage , as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Oth...

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Eight Expectations For A Great Marriage.

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyA_2bloFtb_OmumbXKZ0MHxVy2fryOnrTgETxDunFvisXnSLgSXB3dhlMpbi76XvQqKrBR5WrAYUA27DM4EX1HGFYyMD1VTrjSKk65YQDgMJFHg0NNuY40hLcA4KChVZuexU527GsVg/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyA_2bloFtb_OmumbXKZ0MHxVy2fryOnrTgETxDunFvisXnSLgSXB3dhlMpbi76XvQqKrBR5WrAYUA27DM4EX1HGFYyMD1VTrjSKk65YQDgMJFHg0NNuY40hLcA4KChVZuexU527GsVg/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> When you walked down the aisle, what were your hopes, dreams and wishes about your husband and your life together?  Did you look at other marriages that were struggling and think, “<em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">We’ll</em> be different.  That will never happen to us.”  That is how most of us go into marriage, but when our expectations are not met, we need to alter them or we’ll become bitter.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Shift your thinking by first getting rid of these 3 Beliefs that can Lead to a Dead End Marriage.   Then leave your old assumptions about marriage at the altar and pick up these 8 expectations for a great marriage. <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Expect Conflict. </strong>Conflict will happen, and that’s okay, <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">if </em>you handle conflict in a loving, mature way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Expect Delays. </strong>Planning for your future is a great thing to do as a couple, just understand that things don’t arrive on schedule – not babies, not raises, not the sitter!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Expect Disappointments.</strong> File this in the, “you’re both only human” category.  Your husband will not be the answer to all of your problems.  He won’t be a mind reader or anticipate all of your needs. <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Be prepared to forgive</strong>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Expect to be annoyed.</strong> Be ready for that habit of his you found so adorable while you were dating, to become annoying.  But remember this, there are things you’re doing that are likely annoying him too.  Cut him some slack and continually focus on his good qualities.  If you just can’t overlook what’s bothering you, talk to him about it in a loving, kind way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Expect to think you’re doing more.</strong> You might feel like you’re doing more dishes, more laundry, more bedtime reading with the kids, more taking the garbage out, you get the idea.   When you start feeling put out and put upon, take some time to assess the situation.   Then, instead of attacking your husband and demanding more help, sit down and calmly express your desire to do your jobs well, and ask for his help.  (This “taking care of the house” worksheet can also help figure out who’s best at doing what.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Expect to disagree with some of his decisions.</strong>  Just because you are “one” in marriage, doesn’t mean you will agree on everything.  And, guess what?  That’s okay.  Respect his right to have a different opinion than you.  Don’t shoot down his ideas automatically.  There is more than one way to get the job done.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">7. Expect not to be attracted to him.</strong> This may never happen to you.  You might go through your entire marriage  with the hots for your husband.  But if at some point you’re just not that into him, pray that you will have a loving heart.  Also, look beyond the physical or lack of chemistry and fall in love with what’s good about your husband.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">8. Expect to be with him until the end. </strong>This is a mental safety net.  Even when you’re furious at him or extremely disappointed, you will not think of leaving.  You can’t, remember?  You’re with him until the end. This expectation also helps you realize that you might as well make your marriage as good as it can be, because you are in it for the long haul.</div> </div>

Eight Expectations For A Great Marriage.

When you walked down the aisle, what were your hopes, dreams and wishes about your husband and your life together?  Did you look at ot...

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Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.   Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

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Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://thyblackman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/blackmaneatingfruit.jpg" /></div> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Separate from Mama.</strong> – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust that you and she are a united front. She must not fear that you will go behind her and talk negatively, especially to your mom. When you and your wife speak to your mom, it should be as one flesh, not competing teams. Your mom is usually going to fight in your corner, right or wrong. This will cause serious problems in your marriage. I love my mom and she is precious to me, but YOU leading your family is the best way to gaji her, not the other way around.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Balance the extracurriculars.</strong> – Living life in Sportsman’s Paradise can get busy. Louisiana has everything a man could ever want with regards to the outdoors. My boat and I were closer than my former wife and I at one time. I was perfectly happy leaving her home with the kids to go “tear ‘em up” somewhere in the Lake Pontchartrain waters. The persoalan with this is when it’s done in excess. You really need to take a look at why you fish, hunt, play video games, go to sports bars, etc. Are you doing it because it’s fun or are you getting away from your wife? It’s easy to fall into this trap because it’s easy to justify “harmless” activities. After all, you’re not out drinking all night with other women, so it’s not <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</em> bad. The persoalan is that your absence at home is felt by your wife and the kids. Keep your extracurricular activities in check by communicating about them with your wife. Too much passing the ball or too much running the ball will make it easy for the defense to game plan against your marriage. You need balance!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Kiss <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> first.</strong> – When you see your wife for the first time after a day of work, kiss her first. If you’re coming home from work or a long day out – put your keys down, drop your bag on the floor and lay one on her! There is nothing that makes mamma feel better than knowing you are thinking about her. Hitting the door with the intent to connect with her immediately sets the stage for positive energy throughout the evening and shows the kids that their parents are secure in their relationship.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Boys Night Out” (AKA: Bachelor Parties).</strong> – I mean – C’mon man! There is nothing that kills a good thing with your wife like a “boys night out”. Back in the day, I was a partying force to reckon with. “Boys night out” usually implied alcohol, taxi cabs, strip clubs and vomit. If this is how you roll with the boys, then I suggest you re-examine your priorities. You may not know it, but your wife is probably scared to death the whole time you’re out. If you want to go hang out with your friends, don’t involve excessive booze at nightclubs. Take some responsibility as a husband and make sure your wife approves. A good question to ask yourself is, “If my wife were here, would she be offended?” (This tip goes for the ladies too.)</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Reject Passivity.</strong> – When something is happening that you know isn’t right, step in. Passivity will kill your family’s faith and trust in you in times when circumstances demand your intervention. There were so many times in my first marriage when my passivity ended up defining my role in my home. This can’t happen. Now – rejecting passivity does not mean that you need to be a dictator in your home. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, not like Ike loved Tina!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Your wife did not grow up in your house</strong>. – 6 months after my first marriage began, we were in marriage counseling. I was 100% sure it was all her fault. The counselor listened to each of us plead our cases, and after hearing what I had to say, she got very strong with me in her response. My biggest complaint was “This isn’t the type of environment I grew up with in my house. It’s not the way I do things.” My counselor was quick to point out that my wife did not grow up with me or my family. She was thousands of miles away living a different life and didn’t even know I existed. She said, “How can you possibly expect her to understand ‘how things were in your house’ when you met her only a year ago at the age of 27? And why do you expect her to act like your relatives?” She was right. Far too often we think things will immediately “mesh” and that we’re above the communication problems. Understand that you and your wife are building a <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">new</em> life together, and it will always be in progress.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Own her decisions.</strong> – I admit, being married to my wife is like a spiritual roller coaster. She is plugged in to Jesus! Her extreme spirituality leads her in places that are sometimes not familiar to me. She respects my role as the head of our family and when issues arise that are major, it’s my job to make the selesai decision. (And ladies – before you get up in arms about the “balance of power”, she will be the first to tell you that she prefers it that way. The burden is taken off of her shoulders by allowing me to bear the responsibility of the heavy family issues.)  Even though many of the ideas are not mine, I am the leader of my house and therefore the decisions to take action are<em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> all</em> mine. If decisions like these fail, you should never blame your wife. You should own it and learn from it.</li> </ol> </div>

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

Separate from Mama.  – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust ...

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Why Should Anyone Wait Till Wedding Day To Dump His Or Her Lover?

<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Od4tpHrhrsNkRfHEak4yskAnewl-HCKM7hUwUBd5o8RxxKjwcOHMoYBl0YRoscaAVCkr1IkcxgKJBoBSQGe6uhZlFtZJlpb2O_GbDHyL2_SLGpZK1NYrY947O2ZzSo9ypxXNaDCuQfs/s1600/dvarndtphoto_-_0006.0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Od4tpHrhrsNkRfHEak4yskAnewl-HCKM7hUwUBd5o8RxxKjwcOHMoYBl0YRoscaAVCkr1IkcxgKJBoBSQGe6uhZlFtZJlpb2O_GbDHyL2_SLGpZK1NYrY947O2ZzSo9ypxXNaDCuQfs/s320/dvarndtphoto_-_0006.0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <br /> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In the first week of November 2016, the media was awash with news of a bride dumping her spouse at the reception venue, few hours after saying “I do”.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Towards the end of the same month, news of another bride failing to show up at the wedding venue, littered both print and online media.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In April, 2017, a supposed bride in Ondo kept her fiancé and guests waiting for her endlessly at the wedding venue, it was eventually ‘no show’.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While the action of the first was attributed to sparking of old flames of love after sighting his longtime ex at the reception venue, the second bride failed to appear at her own wedding ceremony after reuniting with her ex!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The actions of these brides obviously left both families in rude shock and outright confusion. To me, both scenarios can be likened to a scene of Hollywood movie.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While I do not blame these brides for deciding to “follow their hearts”, it is pertinent to point out that such action amounts to selfishness, cowardice, cruelty and irresponsibility. Such person has no love in his or her heart whatsoever or how best could one explain the emotional and psychological stress berat of absconding on a wedding day or abandoning marital vows at the altar, on the person at the receiving end?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Marriage is not a walk in the park no doubt, it requires much more than love to sustain it. The increasing rate at which marriages within their two years of consummation are hitting the wall, shows that it goes beyond dates, shopping sprees, shawarma, Pizzas, Chicken and Chips and such other outings, for a successful marriage.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="uf410ecf8d4101810eaf7ac0a9d7cc50a" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/couple-goes-to-market-in-pre-wedding-photoshoot/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"> </a></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As such, it is important for anyone aspiring to leave his/her parents to be joined in matrimony to another person to be fully prepared for it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In Nigeria, marriage is seen as a bonding not just between the two persons involved, but much more between the families of the spouses. The emotional, material and physical resources already expended in planning for a wedding ceremony is incalculable.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I am not advocating that anyone should walk into a loveless marriage, however, anyone bold enough to leave on a day prior to wedding could as well have left on the first day. There is absolutely no sense in allowing someone invest emotionally into a soon to be union before pulling a wicked stunt. It is an expensive joke that must be stopped!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Runaway bride or groom must know that such act has inscribed a dent on their family’s image as long as oral tradition remains in the history of man.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> To those who were dumped few hours to their wedding, I congratulate you from the depth of my heart. Yes! Congrats once again. How would you want it? To be jilted prior to your wedding or have him or cheat on you with an ex for the entirety of the marriage? Trust me, marriage doesn’t stop those people.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, I have not attended a botched wedding, and I do not ever want to be at the venue of one.<iframe allowtransparency="true" class="twitter-follow-button twitter-follow-button-rendered" data-screen-name="relationgoalsng" frameborder="0" id="twitter-widget-0" scrolling="no" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets/follow_button.bac917c749f65aefd5f37c272c7c3538.en.html#dnt=false&id=twitter-widget-0&lang=en&screen_name=relationgoalsng&show_count=false&show_screen_name=true&size=m&time=1499393467091" style="border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: 20px; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; position: static; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: visible; width: 152px;" title="Why Should Anyone Wait Till Wedding Day To Dump His Or Her Lover?"></iframe></div>

Why Should Anyone Wait Till Wedding Day To Dump His Or Her Lover?

In the first week of November 2016, the media was awash with news of a bride dumping her spouse at the reception venue, few hours a...

Read more »

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #404040; float: left; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="130" src="https://deenaroseministries.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/marriage-logo12.jpg" width="400" /></div> <br /> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respect your husband</strong>.  – </em>Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">earn </em>it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Guard your heart</em>.</strong>  – The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">God, husband, kids…in that order</em>.</strong>  – I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Forgive</em>.</strong>  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Over-communicate</em>.</strong>  – I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Schedule a regular date night</em>.</strong>  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never say the “D Word”</em>.</strong>  – If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Learn his love language</em>.</strong>  – Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" sl-processed="1" style="border: 0px; color: #9c5d5f; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">here</a>.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never talk negatively about him</em>.</strong>  – I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Choose to love</em>.</strong>  – There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.</li> </ol> </div>

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

Respect your husband .  –  Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world i...

Read more »