Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <img src="https://ronernbphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/300_arguing_couple.jpg" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">is </em>the bomb is just another way of saying, “We’re an awesome team, and we’re in this parenting thing together!” If you’re at that good place in your marriage, great!  If you’re not quite there, iSpecialist Kathy Peel gives 6 Solutions for 6 Common Marriage Problems that can especially help if you think your husband is not stepping up enough at home.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Marriage Problem: Your husband doesn’t appreciate what you do at home.</strong></div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> His standard greeting as he comes in the door and glances around the messy living room is, “So what did you do all day?”  You are irritated because he doesn’t appreciate your hard work at home and in fact expects you to do more to meet his needs.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Schedule time to talk with him alone.  Before bringing up your feelings, listen to his.  Tell him your goal is to be a good wife, mother, and family manager.<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">  </strong>Talk about how you can work together to make your home run more smoothly.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Marriage Problem:  Your Husband spends too little time helping </strong>out with housecleaning, cooking, or caring for your children.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Take time to discuss your need for help and why he hasn’t done more to assist you.  Perhaps he felt he’d be intruding your territory, so he backed off.  Maybe has tried in the past and your standards were so high he felt frustrated and scolded rather than appreciated for his effort.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Marriage Problem: You try to make him feel guilty </strong>for refusing to step up and help around the house.  You’re frustrated by his uncooperative attitude.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Trying to manipulate him using guilt usually worsens the situation.  Instead, thank him any time you catch him helping around the house.  Also, consider that many men like options.  Rather than ordering him to do something, give him a list of chores and ask him to select several to complete.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Marriage Problem: He’s oblivious. </strong>While it’s perfectly obvious to you what needs to be done around the house, your husband seems totally oblivious.  You get tired of telling him to do the same things over and over.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>Besides being gracious and patient, keep in mind that everyone is different, and he actually really might not see what needs to be done.  There are areas in all of our lives where we don’t live up to each other’s expectations.  See solutions 1-3 for ideas on how to approach him.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Marriage Problem: You don’t engage. </strong>You’ve come to see your husband as little more than your backup in managing one crisis after another in your household.  You seldom interact unless you’re dealing with a problem.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution: </strong>If you find yourself resenting your husband or appreciating him only for the help he offers around the house, be careful. Such an attitude will erode your marriage.  Begin giving to your marriage, whether by a monthly date night or by regularly praying together.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Marriage Problem: You’re at a loss.  </strong>You feel like your marriage is in trouble but you don’t know what to do.</div> <div align="left" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Solution:  </strong>Ask your husband if he would be willing to go with you to a counselor.  If he won’t go, you can gain insight by going on your own.</div> </div>

Six Solutions For Six Common Marriage Problems

Does your husband think that you’re the bomb?  Do you think your husband is?  Thinking your spouse  is  the bomb is just another way o...

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3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce 3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes that Lead to Divorce" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/whycouplesdivorce-400x267.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and fighting are the manifestation of deeper behavior patterns that undermine marriages. These three common marriage mistakes are at the root of what make many unions fizzle:</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Altruism</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Altruism, also known as selflessness or even self-sacrifice, sounds like a good thing in a relationship. It’s comforting to know that your partner would do anything to protect or help you, and you would do the same for him or her. Unfortunately, outside of the occasional emergency situation, altruism is a damaging habit. The happiest and most enjoyable marriages are ones in which both spouses feel that their concerns, desires and needs are met and valued. You and your spouse should feel that each of you has power and significance in the marriage. Altruistic behavior denies that importance. Over time, constantly suppressing your desires and needs for those of your spouse can lead to a disorder of power in the relationship, which, even if voluntary, can lead to depression and resentment.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Avoid this marriage pitfall by speaking up. Make your preferences and needs known to your spouse, even if you think the matter isn’t a big deal. Want Italian for dinner when your spouse wants Chinese? Say so! Just remember to speak your mind pleasantly and tactfully. And make sure you have the marriage skills to turn the occasional difference of opinion into a discussion rather than an argument.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Negativity</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Negativity is the number one contributor to an unpleasant environment that can eventually erode the whole marriage. Negativity includes small gestures such eye rolling, out of place humor, sarcasm, and signs of frustration, as well as more obvious negative comments such as disparaging your spouse’s opinion, mocking, and insults. Every piece of negativity, big or small, can have an enormous impact on the climate in your marriage. Negativity breaks down the trust you have for your partner to be a loving and supportive haven from the world’s challenges. It makes you not want to be around each other. It can also instantly trigger arguments.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Monitor yourself carefully for negative body language and speech patterns and try to eliminate them completely. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get frustrated or upset at something your spouse has done. Simply tell him or her about your feelings using, calm, neutral language. Focus on yourself by using the phrase “When you … I feel …” instead of inviting defensiveness with you-statements. Also explain to your spouse how much it hurts when he or she uses negativity towards you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Loss of non-sexual intimacy</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Since physical intimacy depends on feeling comfortable with your partner, physical affection is one of the first victims of rampant negativity in a marriage. This is unfortunate because physical affection is the glue of marriages. Loss of physical intimacy can precipitate the loss of emotional intimacy, increasing distance in a relationship, sexual affairs, and finally divorce.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Physical affection means much more than sex. It means, cuddling, hugs, kissing, holding hands, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder or stroking an arm.  New couples display this non-sexual intimacy constantly and it signals that they are attracted to and interested in each other.  In addition, researchers have found that non-sexual intimacy is a significant contributor to long-term marital happiness. This warm, positive, skin-to-skin contact releases the same bonding chemicals in your brain as sex. While a marriage may be fine without sexual intercourse (as long as both spouses are on the same page about it), it will likely struggle mightily without any physical intimacy.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The homework to remedy this marriage duduk masalah is easy: set the goal of touching your spouse in a positive way ten times daily. Then increase that frequency! Adding non-sexual intimacy to your marriage is a more low-pressure goal than initiating sex. And since regular physical contact can make you both more receptive to sensual experiences, it can by a good way for a sexless marriage to ease into more frequent sex.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Have you noticed any of these common marriage mistakes in your marriage or new relationship? Not to worry. In fact, noticing them is the first step in fixing them and building the foundation for a strong, happy future together. It is never to late to start your happily-ever-after.</div> </div>

3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and...

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Eight Expectations For A Great Marriage.

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyA_2bloFtb_OmumbXKZ0MHxVy2fryOnrTgETxDunFvisXnSLgSXB3dhlMpbi76XvQqKrBR5WrAYUA27DM4EX1HGFYyMD1VTrjSKk65YQDgMJFHg0NNuY40hLcA4KChVZuexU527GsVg/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyA_2bloFtb_OmumbXKZ0MHxVy2fryOnrTgETxDunFvisXnSLgSXB3dhlMpbi76XvQqKrBR5WrAYUA27DM4EX1HGFYyMD1VTrjSKk65YQDgMJFHg0NNuY40hLcA4KChVZuexU527GsVg/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> When you walked down the aisle, what were your hopes, dreams and wishes about your husband and your life together?  Did you look at other marriages that were struggling and think, “<em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">We’ll</em> be different.  That will never happen to us.”  That is how most of us go into marriage, but when our expectations are not met, we need to alter them or we’ll become bitter.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Shift your thinking by first getting rid of these 3 Beliefs that can Lead to a Dead End Marriage.   Then leave your old assumptions about marriage at the altar and pick up these 8 expectations for a great marriage. <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Expect Conflict. </strong>Conflict will happen, and that’s okay, <em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">if </em>you handle conflict in a loving, mature way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Expect Delays. </strong>Planning for your future is a great thing to do as a couple, just understand that things don’t arrive on schedule – not babies, not raises, not the sitter!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Expect Disappointments.</strong> File this in the, “you’re both only human” category.  Your husband will not be the answer to all of your problems.  He won’t be a mind reader or anticipate all of your needs. <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Be prepared to forgive</strong>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Expect to be annoyed.</strong> Be ready for that habit of his you found so adorable while you were dating, to become annoying.  But remember this, there are things you’re doing that are likely annoying him too.  Cut him some slack and continually focus on his good qualities.  If you just can’t overlook what’s bothering you, talk to him about it in a loving, kind way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Expect to think you’re doing more.</strong> You might feel like you’re doing more dishes, more laundry, more bedtime reading with the kids, more taking the garbage out, you get the idea.   When you start feeling put out and put upon, take some time to assess the situation.   Then, instead of attacking your husband and demanding more help, sit down and calmly express your desire to do your jobs well, and ask for his help.  (This “taking care of the house” worksheet can also help figure out who’s best at doing what.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Expect to disagree with some of his decisions.</strong>  Just because you are “one” in marriage, doesn’t mean you will agree on everything.  And, guess what?  That’s okay.  Respect his right to have a different opinion than you.  Don’t shoot down his ideas automatically.  There is more than one way to get the job done.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">7. Expect not to be attracted to him.</strong> This may never happen to you.  You might go through your entire marriage  with the hots for your husband.  But if at some point you’re just not that into him, pray that you will have a loving heart.  Also, look beyond the physical or lack of chemistry and fall in love with what’s good about your husband.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">8. Expect to be with him until the end. </strong>This is a mental safety net.  Even when you’re furious at him or extremely disappointed, you will not think of leaving.  You can’t, remember?  You’re with him until the end. This expectation also helps you realize that you might as well make your marriage as good as it can be, because you are in it for the long haul.</div> </div>

Eight Expectations For A Great Marriage.

When you walked down the aisle, what were your hopes, dreams and wishes about your husband and your life together?  Did you look at ot...

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The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> The Ebb and Flow of Marriage</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Fotolia_30955574_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relationships have an advantage in doing better over the long haul.<br /> Consider for a moment how much you’ve changed in your maturity, likes, dislikes, priorities, stressors, life experiences, etc.  If you haven’t changed a bit – consider yourself extremely unique.<br /> Most of us experience a change in ourselves to some degree over time.  A marriage or long-term relationship will also change.<br /> <strong>Here are a few ways couples can navigate the inevitable change of their marriage:</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" border="0" class="size-medium wp-image-2825 alignright" height="243" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-350x284.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage.jpg 385w" style="cursor: move; margin-top: 5px;" title="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" width="300" /></a></div> <ul> <li>Check-in with each other periodically.<ul> <li>How are things going?</li> <li>How are you doing?</li> <li>How are we doing?</li> </ul> </li> <li>Make adjustments in the way things have always been done.<ul> <li>Break routines</li> <li>Do things differently</li> <li>Shake it up a bit</li> </ul> </li> <li>Prioritize your relationship.  It’s very easy to take your eyes off of each other, especially after having children and other life stressors show up.</li> <li>Get away.  An overnight can do wonders for your relationship.  Don’t underestimate the power of a new environment away from your routines and responsibilities.</li> <li style="text-align: left;">Laugh and create new memories.  Don’t allow a negativity bias to creep up in your relationship.  Counter it with some good laughs and positive experiences to counteract negative experiences.</li> </ul> Just because your marriage has “changed” isn’t automatically cause for alarm.  It’s about addressing the change together honestly  and finding creative ways to adapt to that change.<br /> If you are concerned that so much has changed at this point that your marriage feels disconnected and the gap too wide to bridge without assistance, find a local couples counselor to help.  If you’re not quite ready for couples counseling you can try my tool for couples, The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples, to help you strengthen the foundation of your relationship.</section></div>

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage Marriages change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relatio...

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Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://jadeafrican.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/angry-african-american-couple-400x295.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with your partner? If you are having trouble to maintain a good relationship with your wife, then you need to follow these simple yet effective formula to re-establish a good relationship with your wife that can be extended for longer.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Change Yourself</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If your attempts to change your partner’s behavior have not gone well so far, then it is time that you changed yourself.<br />• It would be better off for you to figure out what you could do to stay loving and good humored with your wife.<br />• You need to let go your ego and behave the way she wants you to. This is one of the easy ways for resurrecting your marriage.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Take Decisions Jointly</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is better you adopt a policy to reach solutions to problems jointly. If any one of you takes an upper hand in solving the problem, then the other’s ego will be hurt. By jointly discussing a dilema and coming out with a good solution will help you to put away all your differences with your partner.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Spend More Time With Your Partner</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the easy ways to recreate those happy moments of marriage once again is to spend quality time with your partner.<br />• There is no harm in smiling, hugging, caressing, being appreciative as well as having more sex with your partner.<br />• The feeling that you care for her and her feelings will drive her to be more loving and passionate to you.<br />• Helping her out in her jobs, agreeing more and praising her at every right opportunity is sure to increase her love towards you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Do Away With Negativity</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you would like to lead a peaceful and taint free relationship, then it is important for you to throw all the negativity out of the window. All sorts of criticisms, accusations, blames, digs, bad remarks, anger and sarcasms will only take your relationship from bad to worse. If you want to survive in a relationship, then you must make sure that the ratio of good to bad interactions is five to one. Aim higher for extending your relationship life long.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Never Fall For Relationship Destroying Habits</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you are a person who is having an extramarital affair, having drug addictions or is an excessively angry person, then you are not going to sustain your marriage. It is better to get help and to get out of these habits and to lead a happy life with your spouse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Learn The Skills Of Happy Marriage</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> No one can be a perfect husband or a wife. But, you can reach near perfection by going through a lot of marriage and relationship books as well attend marriage education courses to learn certain skills to develop a healthy partnership with your spouse. You will be able to not just save your marriage, but will also make it to be a highly successful one.</div> </div>

Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with ...

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10 Traits That Matters On How To Be A Good Boyfriend

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://www.mjemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blackcouplediscuss.jpg" style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;" /></h2> <br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be the guy your girlfriend wishes you could be.</h2> <div> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a few things guys need to understand when it comes to knowing how to be a good boyfriend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> While men and women don’t really think along the same lines in a relationship, it’s rather simple to understand what it takes to keep a relationship happy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> For most men, intimacy is sexual companionship, while it’s just not the same for women.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> But if you can learn to see the world through the eyes of your girlfriend, you’ll be able to understand what it really takes to be a good boyfriend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>How to be a good boyfriend</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the easiest ways to be a great boyfriend is to understand your partner and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> But for an easier way out, here are ten tips on how to be a good boyfriend that can help you make all the difference in your love life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#1 Treat her like a lady</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Boyfriends aren’t born great. They become good boyfriends by knowing how to behave with women and the girl they love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the first steps in getting the admiration of a girl you like is to treat her like a lady.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Learn to be chivalrous and understand what it takes to make her feel special. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s easy to play nice until you get the girl, and treat her like you don’t care once the chase is over, but guys who do that will never be able to hold on to a great girl who’s desired by all guys. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#2 Respect her as a person</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> You can’t expect your girlfriend to do everything you want or behave the way you expect her to, just because she’s your girlfriend. Remember that she’s just your girlfriend, you don’t own her and shouldn’t expect her to behave like a trained monkey just because she’s likes you or you’re getting some action in bed with her.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, learn to treat your girlfriend with respect and pay attention to her needs. Don’t take her words lightly or ignore her advice just because she’s a ‘girl’. If you truly do love your girlfriend, you would respect her too.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> And if you can’t respect her, it’s obvious it’s not love that’s holding the relationship together.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#3 Remember the special days</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets a special occasion and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too. Try to make a conscious effort to understand your girlfriend and remember the special days if she’s indeed important to you. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#4 Be caring and affectionate</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> For men, what matters is physical intimacy and sex. For women, sex is equally important, but they do appreciate a lot of affection too. Just like sex matters to men, cuddles and affection matter just as much for women. Show your affection by spending time holding hands or sitting down in each other’s arms while having a conversation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> A warm hug and a few affectionate kisses mean more in love than wild sexual escapades. And it’ll help your relationship last longer too.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#5 Don’t take your girlfriend for granted</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend. In a great relationship, both partners have to understand the efforts of their lover and realize that every simple gesture is a sign of love and affection that should never be taken for granted.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Never ever take your girlfriend for granted or take a special gesture for granted. Instead, always learn to be thankful and appreciative of every single affectionate gesture.</div> <div id="menpost468x60" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.200000762939453px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; text-align: justify;">#6 Support your girlfriend when she’s in need</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> All of us need a helpful hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Your weekend games or your male bonding time may be important to you, but on a rare occasion that your girlfriend asks you for a bit of help, make sure you’re by her side. It’s always reassuring for a girl to know that she can depend on her man for a helpful hand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#7 Learn to apologize</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he’s not the one who’s wrong.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get egoistic and have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if it’s not your fault for the sake of the relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> P.S. You can always hint to your girlfriend that you’re still right when both of you are having a laugh after a few hours. It’ll help both of you sort your differences without getting blinded by anger or ego.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#8 Listen to her needs</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger. Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way men and women react to pain or anger.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Instead of getting angry over her behavior, realize that men and women are different in such cases and try to understand her mind without losing your cool. It’ll make her feel better, and you a lot more understanding over time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#9 Don’t try to dominate her</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching a favorite show or telling the girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to control a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after marriage and even more so if the man’s the sole breadwinner.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals. If you try to change someone, it’s not love that’s holding both of you together, it’s your insecurity and cowardliness. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#10 Push your girlfriend to be a better person</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, this is as good as it gets. You know your girlfriend better than anybody else, flaws and all. Most guys assume a relationship is all about being happy and in love, and having a great time in bed. But that’s not where love ends.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Help your girlfriend become a better person and help her overcome her flaws. When both of you try to make each other better individuals by overcoming each other’s flaws, you can achieve more happiness and satisfaction out of life. Learn to positively criticize your girlfriend and help her with her flaws at the same time. By helping her become a better person, she’ll love you and respect you a lot more.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>Always remember that knowing how to be a good boyfriend is easy, as long as you have the patience to look at the world through your girlfriend’s eyes and learn to understand her thoughts and her wants.</strong></div> </div>

10 Traits That Matters On How To Be A Good Boyfriend

Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be ...

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Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.   Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

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10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #404040; float: left; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="130" src="https://deenaroseministries.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/marriage-logo12.jpg" width="400" /></div> <br /> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respect your husband</strong>.  – </em>Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">earn </em>it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Guard your heart</em>.</strong>  – The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">God, husband, kids…in that order</em>.</strong>  – I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Forgive</em>.</strong>  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Over-communicate</em>.</strong>  – I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Schedule a regular date night</em>.</strong>  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never say the “D Word”</em>.</strong>  – If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Learn his love language</em>.</strong>  – Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" sl-processed="1" style="border: 0px; color: #9c5d5f; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">here</a>.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never talk negatively about him</em>.</strong>  – I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Choose to love</em>.</strong>  – There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.</li> </ol> </div>

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

Respect your husband .  –  Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world i...

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17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> 17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Fotolia_53954545_S-750x500.jpg" width="640" /></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <strong>Life coach, Mark Chernoff, breaks down some important life truths that can shape how children view themselves and their place in the world.  Parents, no matter how old your child (or adult child), it’s never too late to help them integrate these lessons.</strong></div> Our children grow up so fast.  Before we know it they’re out there somewhere in the real world, and we’re left hoping that we’ve done enough to prepare them for everything they’ll encounter.  Angel and I talk to course students and coaching clients on a regular basis – mothers and fathers alike – who share these sentiments.  They worry about their children.  They wonder if they’ve done a good enough job parenting up to this point.  And Angel and I totally get it too.  Oftentimes we feel the same way.  We’re concerned about our son Mac’s well-being and education, and we discuss it frequently, just like most parents.<br /> In fact, from what we’ve researched and studied, the well-being and education of their children is more important to most parents than just about anything else – health care, cost of living, public safety, and even their own well-being.  And believe it or not, most non-parents also say they’re concerned about the well-being and intellectual growth of society’s youth; this concern seems to cut cleanly across gender, ethnicity, age, income and political affiliation.  So the reality is, to a great extent, we all collectively care about our children.   And that’s a really beautiful thing when you think about it.<br /> Anyway, I awoke this morning thinking about all of this – especially the miraculous, life-changing responsibility of parenthood – and two related thoughts immediately crossed my mind:<br /> <ul> <li>Whoa!  Time flies.  How in the world did Angel and I suddenly become parents to a little boy that’s running all over the place and asking questions about everything under the sun?</li> <li>There are so many important truths I want to share with Mac… as soon as feasibly possible.</li> </ul> So I’m writing this post as a reminder to myself, and to all parents…<span id="more-4358"></span><br /> Here are 20 simple yet powerful truths you can add to your daily conversations with your child that will gradually change how they think about themselves and their place in the world, and ultimately transform how they live their life.  Please remember, also, that it’s never too late to discuss these truths – in most cases they are equally relevant to youngsters, adolescents, and adult children alike.<br /> <ol> <li><strong>Learning how to think is far more useful than learning what to think.</strong> – A big part of your life is a direct result of the decisions you make; if you don’t like your life for some reason, it’s time to start making changes and better decisions.  And the same is true for all of us, including our children.  It’s crucial that our children gradually grow to understand that THEY must learn to make good decisions for themselves, without us.  Parents can only guide by example and put their offspring on the right path, but the final forming of a person’s character and life story lies in their own hands.  You can walk beside your child most of the time, but not in their shoes.  And someday, when you’re not around, they’ll come to a fork in the road that forces them to think for themselves.  Which is why it’s important to teach your child how to think, not what to think.  (The remaining points in this article will help you do just that.)</li> <li><strong>Everything is hard before it’s easy, and we get stronger as we go.</strong> – One of the best things you can do for your child as they grow is to let go and allow them to do things for themselves, all<img alt="" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-10408" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S.jpg 849w" width="300" />ow them to be strong and responsible, allow them the freedom to experience things on their own terms, allow them to take the bus or the train and learn from life firsthand – allow them to be better people, allow them to believe more in themselves and do more by themselves.  Journeying through life on your own two feet is a learning process – you become stronger as you go.  It’s like a little girl who struggles to find her way home from school without her parent’s help – doing it the first few times is daunting and scary, but in the long run she’s safer and better off having learned the way.</li> <li><strong>The biggest disappointments in life are often the result of misplaced expectations.</strong> – When we are really young our expectations are few, but as we age our expectations tend to balloon with each passing year.  The key is to help your child understand that tempering unrealistic expectations of how something “should be” can greatly reduce unnecessary stress and frustration.  With a positive attitude and an open mind, we often find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than we thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way we had anticipated, and don’t always occur when we expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing – it makes life interesting, if we’re willing to see it that way.</li> <li><strong>Worry is the cruelest enemy of personal growth.</strong> – Worrying does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all.  When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  And, as every child knows deep down, there are much better ways to use an imagination.  Do your best to remind them of this.</li> <li><strong>Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.</strong> – If you want to be effective in life, you can’t base your attitude on how things are.  Instead, you have to choose your attitude so it supports and expresses the way you wish to be.  It’s not about expecting the best to always happen, but instead accepting whatever happens and then making the very best of it.  Truly, most of our long-tern frustration and stress comes from the way we respond and react to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.  Learn to adjust your attitude, and all that extra frustration and stress is gone.  Practice this in your own life, so your child can witness the results firsthand.</li> <li><strong>Reflecting on what we’re grateful for makes us happier and healthier.</strong> – In <em>1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently,</em> Angel and I discuss the powerful benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.  And the really good news is it works for children too.  In one celebrated example, Dr. Robert Emmons, of UC Davis, asked teenage students to keep a gratitude journal – over ten weeks, the young undergrads listed five things that had happened in the past week which they were grateful for.  The results were astoundingly powerful – the students who kept the gratitude journal were up to 25% happier, more optimistic about their future, and got sick less often during the controlled study.  They even got more exercise than usual.  The bottom line is that children who keep a gratitude journal are statistically happier, more optimistic, and healthier.  As soon as your child is old enough, help them start one.</li> <li><strong>The lifelong pursuit of happiness is about finding meaning.</strong> – Pursuing happiness is not <img alt="" class="alignright size-full wp-image-9811" height="266" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373.jpg 400w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373-350x234.jpg 350w" width="400" />at all the same as feeling happy, which is a fleeting emotion dependent on momentary circumstances.  This is something that tends to confuse us when we’re young.  Happy moments feel great and are often fun-filled – if the sun is shining, by all means we should bask in it.  But happy moments always pass, because time passes.  The lifelong pursuit of happiness, on the other hand, is far more elusive; it’s not based on a particular momentary circumstance.  What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing every day?)  When your “why” has significance, you are living your life on your own terms, which makes the inevitable obstacles that arise on your path that much easier and more fulfilling to overcome.  In essence, you are putting forth effort and pushing forward because doing so brings meaning into your life.  (Do your best to help your child find their “why,” and let them know that it’s OK if it changes over time.)</li> <li><strong>The right journey is the destination.</strong> – The most prolific and beneficial experience is not in actually achieving something you want, but in seeking it.  It’s the journey towards an endless horizon that matters – goals that move forward with you as you chase them.  It’s all about meaningful pursuits – the “moving” – and what you learn along the way.  Truly, the most important reason for moving from one place to another is to see what’s in between.  In between is where passions are realized, love is found, strength is gained, and memories are made.  You can’t get any of that without firsthand living.  In other words, the right journey is the destination.  Remember this truth, live by it… set an example for your child.</li> <li><strong>The most effective way to move away from something you don’t want, is to move toward something you DO want.</strong> – “Don’t think about eating that chocolate donut!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate donut, right?  When we focus on not doing something, we end up thinking more about it.  The same philosophy holds true in all walks of life, regardless of our age.  By persistently trying to move away from what we don’t want, we are inadvertently forced to think about it so much that we end up carrying it’s weight along with us.  But if we instead choose to focus our energy on moving toward something we DO want, we naturally leave the negative weight behind as we move forward with our lives.</li> <li><strong>Actions always speak 100% louder than words.</strong> – Children have never been perfect at listening to their parents, but they have never failed to imitate them.  Keep this in mind.  Let your children watch you set an example every day in all that you do, and then reinforce your actions with verbal guidance.  Ultimately, all of us – young and old alike – need to remember that what we really want in life comes from what we really do in life.</li> <li><strong>The willingness to do hard things opens significant doors of opportunity.</strong> – One of the most important abilities you can help a child develop in life is being OK with some level of discomfort.  Because the best things are often hard to come by, and if you shy away from difficulty and discomfort, you’ll miss out on them.  Mastering a new skill is hard.  Building a business is hard.  Writing a book is hard.  A marriage is hard.  Parenting is hard.  Staying in shape is hard.  All are amazing and worth every bit of effort you can muster.  If you get good at doing hard things, you can do almost anything you put your mind to.</li> <li><strong>Uncertainty is inevitable and must be embraced to achieve anything worthwhile.</strong> – When we act with some level of uncertainty, this uncertainty often chases us out into the open where opportunity awaits.  Thus, learning to embrace uncertainty relatively early in life is a must.  Because if we need to know exactly how every little thing will turn out, we’ll avoid many life-changing projects, career moves, relationships, etc.  Starting a business, for example, could be a very worthwhile thing to do, but if you’re scared of uncertainty you’ll skip it.  Continually cowering in the face of uncertainty like this means you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this unknowing will be worse than finding out your hunch was wrong.  For if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life without ever looking back and wondering what might have been.</li> <li><strong>Lack of effort holds more people back than intelligence ever could.</strong> – It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without putting forth diligent effort.  There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless to a person who’s unwilling to put in the effort and take action.  Remember this, and do your best to praise your child for their effort, not their intelligence.  When you praise your child’s efforts you are bringing attention to something they CAN control – the amount of time and energy they put into their work.  This is immensely important because it teaches them to persist, and that progress through hard work is possible.  They come to see themselves as “in control” of their success in life.  Conversely, emphasizing God-given intelligence takes progress out of your child’s control, and it provides no good formula for responding to failure.  In turn, your child may begin to think that innate intelligence is always going to be a missing element for them, and thus disregard the importance of their effort to learn and grow.</li> <li><strong>Not everything will go as planned, but we can still be prepared.</strong> – For every youngster that succeeds in doing exactly what they set out to do in the exact time frame they set out to do it in, there are dozens of others who start strong and get derailed.  Help your child understand that if this happens to them, it isn’t a bad thing.  Unexpected obstacles may come along to shift their perspective, to strengthen their resolve, or to change their direction for the better.  And the destination they fall in love with someday may not even exist now.  For example, just a few short years ago the esteemed career paths of working at Facebook and Snapchat didn’t exist.  Neither did the job of professional coach and writer at Marc and Angel Hack Life.  So if a child can’t plan out their future in its entirety, what should they do?  Focus a little less on the future and focus more on what they can do now that will benefit them no matter what the future brings.  Read inspiring books.  Write.  Learn and practice useful skills.  Build things.  Be adventurous and seek real-world experiences.  Help people.  Cultivate healthy relationships.  These efforts will assist in any future circumstances that come their way.</li> <li><strong>Incredible distance can be covered over time with tiny steps.</strong> – Most people fritter their free time away on things that don’t matter, like TV, video games, social media, etc.  A year of that and you have absolutely zero to show for it.  But if you painted every day, or practiced your web design skills, or wrot<img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-10647 alignleft" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS.jpg 424w" width="300" />e on a blog, or updated and perfected a video channel on YouTube, or started building a side business/passion project, or spent more time networking with the right people… at the end of a year you’ll have built something interesting.  And you’ll have some great life experiences too – experiences you can point to and say, “I built that, and I learned this,” which, sadly, many people can’t do.  Also, it’s important to mention that although it may seem easier for younger people to do these things, it’s 100% possible for all of us to take tiny steps in the right direction, day in and day out, for the rest of our lives.</li> <li><strong>Goals don’t make positive changes happen, rituals do.</strong> – What’s the difference between goals and rituals?  As a parent, your goal is to be a great role model, while your ritual is the time and energy you commit to setting a great example for your child each day.  If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to grow a successful business, while your ritual is your daily work ethic combined with your management, marketing and sales processes.  If you’re a fiction writer, your goal is to write a novel, while your ritual is the writing schedule you follow each day.  Now think about this:  If you ignored your goals for a while and focused solely on your rituals, would you still get positive results?  For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you ignored your goal to lose 20 pounds, and instead focused only on eating healthy and exercising each day, would you still get results?  Yes, you would.  Gradually, you would get closer and closer to your goal without even thinking about it again.  The earlier we learn this in life, the longer we have to make our positive daily rituals work in our favor.  But it’s never too late either.  <em>(Angel and I build tiny, daily, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)</em></li> <li><strong>Trustworthiness is the foundation of progress.</strong> – The underlying key, for all of us, is to be trustworthy in our relationships.  When someone gives someone an employment or business opportunity, the biggest fear is that this person is not trustworthy – that they’ll slack off and try to cheat the system.  Someone who has established a positive reputation over the years will likely be more trusted, and more likely to be recommended.  So do you best to teach you child to be trustworthy by being honest, admitting mistakes and fixing them, and generally going above and beyond the call of duty in all personal and professional relationships.  When we adhere to this philosophy, we end up building a good reputation and people appreciate and endorse us more openly, which is the best way to get a job, a business investor, or another good friend.</li> </ol> </section></div>

17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child

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