Relationships and Love: Search results for Marriage Relationship

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

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20 Relationship Tips:  Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves</h1>
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<strong>Richard
 Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve your relationship,
 noting that it usually doesn’t just “happen” but requires effort to be 
sure it gets adequate attention.  </strong></div>
Let’s face it: there 
is a staggering volume of marriage/relationship help advice out there. 
Any Internet search on the topic will give you page after page of 
relationship “How to’s” and “What not to do’s.” Depending on your 
perspective, this can be either good news (the easy availability of 
helpful information) or bad news (trying to navigate the overwhelming 
maze of relationship tips).<br />
The truth is, there is also a great 
deal of overlap in what is being said about how to strengthen a 
marriage/relationship—and while some authors are more eloquent in how 
they get this information across than others, often the underlying 
message is consistent. This is good news. The repetition in 
marriage/relationship advice suggests that there are important 
hard-and-fast principles that couples should pay attention to.<br />
So 
rather than searching for the golden goose that will magically send you 
down the path of marital or relationship bliss, it’s time to roll up 
your sleeves and give your relationship the attention it deserves.<br />
<br />
<strong>20 Relationship Tips:</strong><br />
<ol>
<li>Couples need to set up a <strong>clear boundary</strong> around their relationship—this boundary involves saying “no” to the influences that can undermine your relationship.</li>
<li>Healthy marriages/relationships require <strong>balance</strong>
 between having shared couple-experiences that will feed the 
relationship while at the same time nurturing their individual interests
 and pursuits.</li>
<li>Without a clear expression of <strong>commitment</strong> to the relationship, trust and emotional security will suffer. A strong relationship foundation is built on mutual commitment.</li>
<li>Direct, <strong>clear communication</strong> should always be a top priority.</li>
<li>Being <strong>attuned to your needs</strong>,
 wants and desires is the first step in getting them met—when you’re 
unclear about your own needs, how can your spouse/partner ever meet 
them?</li>
<li>Not everything needs to be discussed, analyzed and “processed” between partners. Letting go, <strong>giving your partner the benefit of the doubt</strong>, and practicing forgiveness will go a long way in creating a fulfilling relationship.</li>
<li>Words have the power to build empathic bridges between partners, and <strong>words</strong> also have the power to hurt and create a wasteland of distance between you. Choose your words wisely.</li>
<li>Important
 issues that are repeatedly ignored, minimized or go underground will 
resurface with a vengeance. A healthy relationship requires <strong>facing uncomfortable issues</strong> from time to time.</li>
<li>Like
 a wildfire, emotional wounding and defensiveness can spiral out of 
control and quickly consume a relationship.  Couples need to be <strong>mindful of the negative cycles</strong> that arise in their relationship.</li>
<li>Deliberately <strong>creating positive experiences</strong>
 and interactions between the two of you (while facing the uncomfortable
 issues that need to be addressed) should be an ongoing priority.</li>
<li>Emotional intimacy and closeness are built upon both partners being consistent, <strong>emotionally available</strong> and responsive to one another.</li>
<li>Expecting
 to get all (or even most) of your needs met whenever you want is like 
expecting the weather to change based upon your whims and preferences.  
Unrealistic <strong>expectations</strong> lead to unhappy marriages/relationships.</li>
<li>For some, emotional closeness is a prerequisite for sexual intimacy; for others, sexual intimacy leads to <strong>emotional intimacy</strong>.</li>
<li>Passion and <strong>fulfilling sex</strong>
 often needs to be talked about, planned and negotiated (a lack of 
sexual spontaneity isn’t necessarily a sign of marital/relationship 
problems).</li>
<li>What makes you feel loved and <strong>emotionally connected</strong>
 may be very different from what makes your partner feel loved and 
emotionally close. Communicating and understanding these differences can
 go a long way in improving your relationship.</li>
<li>Certain differences between your and your partner’s <strong>communication styles</strong>
 and emotional expressiveness need to be accepted. You can’t make an 
introvert outgoing, and likewise, don’t expect an extrovert to happily 
sit home every evening.</li>
<li>Friendships are built on joint activities and common interests. In addition to being lovers, couples need to <strong>learn to be friends</strong>.</li>
<li>Couples who actively practice <strong>gratitude and appreciation</strong>
 feel a deep sense of connection with one another. It’s too easy to 
simply focus on what bothers you about your mate while ignoring why you 
fell in love with him/her in the first place.</li>
<li>While a relationship obviously takes two committed people, one person can make a difference in improving the overall <strong>quality of the relationship</strong>.</li>
<li>Fulfilling, healthy relationships are co-created, not found. Couples who <strong>work together</strong> (at keeping their relationship strong) are more likely to stay together.</li>
</ol>
While
 it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the information presented in this
 article, remember that you can pick one or two items from the above 
list and began implementing them into your relationship right away. As a
 marriage/couples counselor, I’ve seen couples make big differences in 
their relationship with a simple and relatively small change—the goal is
 to be consistent and persistent with whatever positive change you’re 
trying to make.</section></div>

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves Richard Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve ...

Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #666666; float: left; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://jadeafrican.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/angry-african-american-couple-400x295.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with your partner? If you are having trouble to maintain a good relationship with your wife, then you need to follow these simple yet effective formula to re-establish a good relationship with your wife that can be extended for longer.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Change Yourself</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If your attempts to change your partner’s behavior have not gone well so far, then it is time that you changed yourself.<br />• It would be better off for you to figure out what you could do to stay loving and good humored with your wife.<br />• You need to let go your ego and behave the way she wants you to. This is one of the easy ways for resurrecting your marriage.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Take Decisions Jointly</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is better you adopt a policy to reach solutions to problems jointly. If any one of you takes an upper hand in solving the problem, then the other’s ego will be hurt. By jointly discussing a dilema and coming out with a good solution will help you to put away all your differences with your partner.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Spend More Time With Your Partner</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the easy ways to recreate those happy moments of marriage once again is to spend quality time with your partner.<br />• There is no harm in smiling, hugging, caressing, being appreciative as well as having more sex with your partner.<br />• The feeling that you care for her and her feelings will drive her to be more loving and passionate to you.<br />• Helping her out in her jobs, agreeing more and praising her at every right opportunity is sure to increase her love towards you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Do Away With Negativity</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you would like to lead a peaceful and taint free relationship, then it is important for you to throw all the negativity out of the window. All sorts of criticisms, accusations, blames, digs, bad remarks, anger and sarcasms will only take your relationship from bad to worse. If you want to survive in a relationship, then you must make sure that the ratio of good to bad interactions is five to one. Aim higher for extending your relationship life long.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Never Fall For Relationship Destroying Habits</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you are a person who is having an extramarital affair, having drug addictions or is an excessively angry person, then you are not going to sustain your marriage. It is better to get help and to get out of these habits and to lead a happy life with your spouse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Learn The Skills Of Happy Marriage</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> No one can be a perfect husband or a wife. But, you can reach near perfection by going through a lot of marriage and relationship books as well attend marriage education courses to learn certain skills to develop a healthy partnership with your spouse. You will be able to not just save your marriage, but will also make it to be a highly successful one.</div> </div>

Six Tips To Save Your Marriage Fro Break-Up

Are you feeling hopeless about your relationship with your partner? Do you want to rescue your marriage and to lead a happy life with ...

3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce 3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes that Lead to Divorce" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/whycouplesdivorce-400x267.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and fighting are the manifestation of deeper behavior patterns that undermine marriages. These three common marriage mistakes are at the root of what make many unions fizzle:</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Altruism</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Altruism, also known as selflessness or even self-sacrifice, sounds like a good thing in a relationship. It’s comforting to know that your partner would do anything to protect or help you, and you would do the same for him or her. Unfortunately, outside of the occasional emergency situation, altruism is a damaging habit. The happiest and most enjoyable marriages are ones in which both spouses feel that their concerns, desires and needs are met and valued. You and your spouse should feel that each of you has power and significance in the marriage. Altruistic behavior denies that importance. Over time, constantly suppressing your desires and needs for those of your spouse can lead to a disorder of power in the relationship, which, even if voluntary, can lead to depression and resentment.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Avoid this marriage pitfall by speaking up. Make your preferences and needs known to your spouse, even if you think the matter isn’t a big deal. Want Italian for dinner when your spouse wants Chinese? Say so! Just remember to speak your mind pleasantly and tactfully. And make sure you have the marriage skills to turn the occasional difference of opinion into a discussion rather than an argument.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Negativity</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Negativity is the number one contributor to an unpleasant environment that can eventually erode the whole marriage. Negativity includes small gestures such eye rolling, out of place humor, sarcasm, and signs of frustration, as well as more obvious negative comments such as disparaging your spouse’s opinion, mocking, and insults. Every piece of negativity, big or small, can have an enormous impact on the climate in your marriage. Negativity breaks down the trust you have for your partner to be a loving and supportive haven from the world’s challenges. It makes you not want to be around each other. It can also instantly trigger arguments.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Monitor yourself carefully for negative body language and speech patterns and try to eliminate them completely. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get frustrated or upset at something your spouse has done. Simply tell him or her about your feelings using, calm, neutral language. Focus on yourself by using the phrase “When you … I feel …” instead of inviting defensiveness with you-statements. Also explain to your spouse how much it hurts when he or she uses negativity towards you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Loss of non-sexual intimacy</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Since physical intimacy depends on feeling comfortable with your partner, physical affection is one of the first victims of rampant negativity in a marriage. This is unfortunate because physical affection is the glue of marriages. Loss of physical intimacy can precipitate the loss of emotional intimacy, increasing distance in a relationship, sexual affairs, and finally divorce.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Physical affection means much more than sex. It means, cuddling, hugs, kissing, holding hands, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder or stroking an arm.  New couples display this non-sexual intimacy constantly and it signals that they are attracted to and interested in each other.  In addition, researchers have found that non-sexual intimacy is a significant contributor to long-term marital happiness. This warm, positive, skin-to-skin contact releases the same bonding chemicals in your brain as sex. While a marriage may be fine without sexual intercourse (as long as both spouses are on the same page about it), it will likely struggle mightily without any physical intimacy.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The homework to remedy this marriage duduk masalah is easy: set the goal of touching your spouse in a positive way ten times daily. Then increase that frequency! Adding non-sexual intimacy to your marriage is a more low-pressure goal than initiating sex. And since regular physical contact can make you both more receptive to sensual experiences, it can by a good way for a sexless marriage to ease into more frequent sex.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Have you noticed any of these common marriage mistakes in your marriage or new relationship? Not to worry. In fact, noticing them is the first step in fixing them and building the foundation for a strong, happy future together. It is never to late to start your happily-ever-after.</div> </div>

3 Surprisingly Common Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs? Behaviors such as cheating and...

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage. Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

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<header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline">
The Ebb and Flow of Marriage</h1>
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</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">Marriages
 change over time.  Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of
 their relationships have an advantage in doing better over the long 
haul.<br />
Consider for a moment how much you’ve changed in your 
maturity, likes, dislikes, priorities, stressors, life experiences, 
etc.  If you haven’t changed a bit – consider yourself extremely unique.<br />
Most of us experience a change in ourselves to some degree over time.  A marriage or long-term relationship will also change.<br />
<strong>Here are a few ways couples can navigate the inevitable change of their marriage:</strong><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" border="0" class="size-medium wp-image-2825 alignright" height="243" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-300x243.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage-350x284.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding-marriage.jpg 385w" style="cursor: move; margin-top: 5px;" title="Marriage Tips, Tools Advice: The Ebb and Flow of Marriage" width="300" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li>Check-in with each other periodically.<ul>
<li>How are things going?</li>
<li>How are you doing?</li>
<li>How are we doing?</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Make adjustments in the way things have always been done.<ul>
<li>Break routines</li>
<li>Do things differently</li>
<li>Shake it up a bit</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Prioritize
 your relationship.  It’s very easy to take your eyes off of each other,
 especially after having children and other life stressors show up.</li>
<li>Get
 away.  An overnight can do wonders for your relationship.  Don’t 
underestimate the power of a new environment away from your routines and
 responsibilities.</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Laugh and create 
new memories.  Don’t allow a negativity bias to creep up in your 
relationship.  Counter it with some good laughs and positive experiences
 to counteract negative experiences.</li>
</ul>
Just because your 
marriage has “changed” isn’t automatically cause for alarm.  It’s about 
addressing the change together honestly  and finding creative ways to 
adapt to that change.<br />
If you are concerned that so much has 
changed at this point that your marriage feels disconnected and the gap 
too wide to bridge without assistance, find a local couples counselor to
 help.  If you’re not quite ready for couples counseling you can try my 
tool for couples, The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples, to help you strengthen the foundation of your relationship.</section></div>

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage

The Ebb and Flow of Marriage Marriages change over time. Couples who are able to navigate the ebb and flow of their relatio...

8 Signs You’Re In A Sincere Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFfv81oM_lqJo4B1q5Fpf1NGKRHEzEJodnX7FrC8XtuejutAkJyzKSAVHrGkTWtpW5q5GoM8ZdiRD8ci_P_HVJd0Ja2tsnrlpo_jimJtOm_4WyJfZ6Pi6-atLlskQfOZTDo2vWtiXditY/s1600/shutterstock_250140205-333x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFfv81oM_lqJo4B1q5Fpf1NGKRHEzEJodnX7FrC8XtuejutAkJyzKSAVHrGkTWtpW5q5GoM8ZdiRD8ci_P_HVJd0Ja2tsnrlpo_jimJtOm_4WyJfZ6Pi6-atLlskQfOZTDo2vWtiXditY/s400/shutterstock_250140205-333x250.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> <span style="line-height: 1.5;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> <span style="line-height: 1.5;">In my humble opinion, one of the few things of paramount importance in any man’s character include sincerity. Not just to people, but to your chosen career, your goals, the zeal with which you endeavour to achieve those goals, your ethics, your family, and basically everything of import you set yourself out to do. There is little purpose in doing things halfway. Similarly, you can’t play both sides. Sincerity is not coloured in shades of grey. It is the key to building healthy, lasting and trustworthy relationships. And when your sincerity and devotion are reciprocated, it makes all the effort that goes into a relationship worthwhile. So, without further ceremony, let me introduce you to the 8 signs that confirm you are in a sincere relationship.</span></div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 1. Good communication</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> This is one of the most talked about things for any relationship, and yet, it is still sadly lacking in several relationships that we know or are a part of. If there could be one cardinal rule for a relationship, it would be communication. Whether it has been six months to your relationship or 15 years, communication is a major aspect of what keeps the relationship alive and kicking. When people stop communicating, relationships grow stagnant, and gradually die. They say assumptions are the termites of relationships. They’re right. In a sincere relationship, partners don’t continuously assume. Sure, with time people develop their own silent methods of communication, not unlike familiar body language, but your partner’s insight does not always extend to the inner workings of your mind, and sincere couples know that it is always healthier to express and ask. I feel it prudent to quote Dostoyevsky here; “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 2. You empower each other</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Sincere couples respect each other. They don’t pull each other down. Many people often tend to give backhanded compliments to their partners, in an endeavour to change them. This is not the sign of a sincere relationship. Sincere couples recognise their partners’ gifts and abilities, and support and inspire them to achieve. You know your partner is sincere when their compliments are genuine, they’re words are encouraging, and their motive is pure.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 3. Honesty</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> People in sincere relationships are honest and open with each other. They don’t play mind games. They don’t say one thing and mean the other. They don’t make promises they can’t keep. They don’t say that he/she is just a friend, when it is subconsciously more than that. They don’t tell little white lies, because it is hardly ever a little white lie. If you’re having to lie about it, you may have to rethink your reasons for doing so. Not to mention your relationship. But sincere couples also understand that brutal honesty isn’t always the key. Sometimes, saying those hard truths gently is what honesty in a sincere relationship is all about. Sincere couples place a high value on honesty and trust. They understand that lying will only weaken the bond they share.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 4. They have their priorities right</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Does he say he’ll call, and he doesn’t? Does she say she’ll make plans to meet once she’s done with work, but instead chooses to go out with colleagues for a drink? Does he promise to make more time for your relationship, but never pulls through? Sincere couples understand that fulfilling commitments and making their partners a priority is a major determining factor to a lasting relationship. Sure, “she’ll understand”, but taking that fact for granted is what wrecks relationships. You are with your partner because you chose them, then why make them a convenience rather than a priority?</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 5. No blame game</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Sincere couples argue productively. They don’t lose their temper, and all hell most certainly does not break loose when they do not approve of something in their relationship. Their arguments are healthy, discussing the whys and hows first, and leading up to the solutions. There is no name-calling. Since, even though the fight may be over, the day would be past, but those harsh words would remain in hearts and build up hurt and resentment. Sincere couples first and foremost calm themselves down, refrain from being judgemental, and endeavour to imagine themselves in the other one’s shoes to lead to a better understanding of their perspective.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 6. You both want the same things in life</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> You are two people in an honest relationship. That entails being straightforward about what you two want out of this relationship and life. If what one of you wants is to establish a career and marriage is just not on your cards, then it should go without saying that your partner is not only aware of your feelings but also on the same page. If you never want children, and you are sincere in your relationship, then your partner ought to be apprised of your feelings on the subject. Sincere couples have all their cards on the table, they don’t bluff each other, and they most certainly don’t mislead their partners.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 7. Your relationship comes first</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> This does not mean placing your partner up on a pedestal and catering to their every whim. Nor does it mean putting yourself last all the time to the point of letting yourself face neglect at your own hands. It simply means being realistic and realising that many times, you shall have to choose between your relationship and some other aspect of your life. But sincerity to your relationship means that often in life, we would be given the opportunity to compromise on our personal needs to allow our relationship to remain congenial and operative. The key, I have always felt, lies in perceiving these situations for what they are, and choosing to put our relationship above all else. And when you are truly faithful and sincere with your relationship, you understand that it more often than not, deserves to be given precedence.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 8. Your life is better with them in it</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> This is rather simple. When someone makes you a better person by being in your life, that is when you know what you have is sincere and genuine. If your partner is a fundamentally honest person, then he/she would most likely have a positive influence on your life; their honesty may rub off on you. But above all, when a person makes you so wholly and profoundly happy, then you know that what you two share is unaffected, sincere and free from illusions.</div> </div>

8 Signs You’Re In A Sincere Relationship

In my humble opinion, one of the few things of paramount importance in any man’s character include sincerity. Not just to people, but ...

Secrets To Happy Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"> <img src="http://mybrownbaby.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/African-American-Couple-Exercising.jpg" style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> Relationships like marriage, romance, live together or any of similar kinds can be sustained with a happy note if some of the secret rules are followed. Relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> Many of these, so called, rules are based on the life experience of many happy couple and also the observation of people. When two people get into relationships, many of them wish for lasting relationships. But pathetically, a good number of them go apart after a while, in search of new partners. Let us see the secrets that constitute long lasting relationships or ever remaining relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 1.1; text-align: left;">Breakup and Divorce are not the Solution</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> When asked about the best possible way of resolving the issues in relationships or marriage, many people may comment that breakup or a divorce is the best possible method of putting an end to all the troubles in a relationships. It is the biggest mistake people commit.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> The reason for increased divorce rate is analyzed as the mentality of people who even before getting into a relationship think divorce as means of solving possible issues in it. Divorce is never an option but it's the utmost decision to be taken in life only at an inevitable situation. Do not even think about a breakup or marriage whenever you confront with minor issues in relationships. Issues are just byproducts of the happiness experienced in the relationships.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 19px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10.5px; margin-top: 21px;"> No Perfect Relationships, but Perfect Situations</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> No one can be considered in a perfect relationship, how happy the couple is, as happiness in a relationship is just the happiness of the situations created by the partners. No relationship, as a whole, is destined to be jovial and satisfying. There can be moments of happiness and moments of struggles.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> The couple who learns the secrets of balancing both happiness and struggles wins the life and enjoys the best possible relationship and life. When in tension or issues, many people may think that they are fated to fall in to wrong relationship, and at the same time ignore the possible chances of making each moments in life happy by understanding the partner a bit more and adjusting a bit more.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 19px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10.5px; margin-top: 21px;"> Never be Afraid or Make Him/Her Afraid</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> Another secret of happy relationship lies in being open and frank with the partner. Do not feel afraid to express you mind to the partner and never ever make him/her afraid of you to tell out the mind. When people communicate each other many of the issues can be melted down. An issue, how ignorable it is, when kept in mind for several days, can take forms of anger, frustration, dislike etc., and get expressed in the most undesirable manners. Let the communication between the partners be a frequent element and no one should hold the words when he/she really wants to talk.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 19px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10.5px; margin-top: 21px;"> Love Defined is Respect and Care</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> You can just tell that you love your partner but can never express the love as it is. There is no emotion like love, but it comes as a package which includes, respect, care, share, dedication, forgiveness etc., express the emotions whenever possible to make the other person feel the intensity of your love. Do not be a miser in loving the partner and let your love be unconditional. It is rightly said that love is defined as respect and care. When the partner feels that you do not care for him/her or do not give him/her the due respect, the person may think of an alternative to you.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 19px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10.5px; margin-top: 21px;"> Always Support Each Other</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 10.5px; text-align: justify;"> Never ever leave your partner unsupported. Whatever be the opinions and ideas, know that you are the only one he/she can lean for support. When both of you are alone, you can argue among yourself on points you disagree with the other one, but in public both of you have only one mind. Holding the hands, especially when he/she is sad or broken, is helpful to convey you care for the person. Once you have decided to live together, then no questions of separation may arise, even in the opinions.</div> </div>

Secrets To Happy Relationship

Relationships like marriage, romance, live together or any of similar kinds can be sustained with a happy note if some of the secret r...

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships

<header class="article-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #565656; font-family: Signika, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Sanchez, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.333em; margin: 0.67em 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;">
Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships</h1>
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<img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="500" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S.jpg 849w" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" width="750" /></div>
</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #565656; font-family: Signika, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; zoom: 1;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; text-align: center;">
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stakes rise when you fall in love.  He highlights the conditions that either encourage or discourage trust in a committed relationship.</em></strong></div>
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When love becomes part of the relationship landscape, when the other starts to <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">matter</i> to you, then how they respond takes on a heightened importance. And once love is set into motion, the more you are moved to share and give of yourself to your partner, the more vulnerable you become. Now trust becomes increasingly important to the workings of your relationship.</div>
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Trust isn’t just a concept couples must learn about—rather, it’s a subjective experience that must be repeatedly lived and <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">felt</i>.<i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </i>When trust is experienced in this way, the relationship offers a secure space for the couple, a space that offers solace and opportunities for deeper sharing and connection. Once <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">mutually</i> established, trust can then quietly recede into the background of the relationship where it continues to support the couple, offering comfort and stability, allowing each person to take the risks necessary for meaningful emotional and sexual expression and connection.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">There are conditions that enhance or violate trust.</strong></div>
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Trust requires certain relationship conditions in order to take hold, and when these conditions are violated, when the foundation of trust is shaken, anxieties and insecurities awaken. The intensity of your trust-insecurities may periodically intrude or they may blanket every aspect of your relationship. A lack of trust (or trust that is doubted/questioned) is emotionally disruptive to all involved, and for emotional and sexual intimacy to be (re)established, trust must first be established.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Pro-trust Conditions</strong></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">accepting / encouraging</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">sensitive / concerned</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">emotionally open</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">responsive / engaged</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">committed / reliable</span></li>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Anti-trust Conditions</strong></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">critical / judgmental</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">aloof / indifferent</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">defensive / closed-off</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">unresponsive / detached</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">erratic / unpredictable<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">            </span></li>
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These behaviors (both pro- and anti-trust) take on particular significance when they come from the person you love and care for. The loved spouse/partner has particular power and influence over you—the power to help you feel secure and connected as well as intensely insecure and anxious. When trust conditions are violated, couples often shift from a secure to an insecure-anxious way of relating (even when anger predominates, the anger is often fueled by undercurrents of anxiety about losing the other).</div>
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<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">“Having sex with someone I didn’t really know or care about was easy. It’s when I fell in love that sex became amazing and dangerous at the same time. All of a sudden, trust and the potential for betrayal became relevant.”</em>~Eric, 33 years old</div>
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During sex, the stakes are always elevated because sexual intimacy is inherently risky emotional business—that is, the level of emotional vulnerability evoked with someone you deeply care about presents both the potential for intimate sharing and authentic contact and, when things go awry, emotional wounding and withdrawal. And during these heightened-vulnerability circumstances, your best intentions may not be enough to circumvent painful misunderstandings.</div>
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Having conversations about the conditions you and your partner each need to enhance trust is important in making these conditions <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">explicitly</i> known to you both. Using the above list of pro- and anti-trust conditions can be a good starting point to jump-start such a discussion. Remember, when trust is solidified, the couple enters an orbit of emotional security surrounding the marriage/relationship, a security that allows for the potential of deeper emotional sharing and sexual exploration and expression.</div>
</section>

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stake...

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

<header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline">
Married Sex Can be Great Sex</h1>
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<img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-768x513.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S.jpg 848w" width="640" /></div>
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</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;">
<em>Richard
 Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term 
relationship) sex and some of the unique reasons it can be so 
satisfying.  He encourages couples to understand their ruts and look for
 opportunities for change.</em></div>
You might have read about—or 
personally experienced—the challenges some married couples (or couples 
in long-term relationships) face when it comes to keeping sexual desire 
and sexual passion alive. The newness of a relationship clearly brings 
with it certain perks, one being the euphoria and excitement that seems 
to envelop every aspect of our life (including our sexuality). It’s not 
uncommon for married couples to look back fondly on the days when more 
frequent love-making, greater sexual exploration and risk-taking, and 
heightened sexual intensity were a part of the relationship landscape.<br />
The
 struggle of married couples—as well as couples in long-term 
relationships—to keep sex a rewarding part of their union is the reason I
 created <i>How to Spice Up Your Marriage</i><em>.</em><br />
But this 
is only part of the picture for married couples. Clearly, not all 
couples who have been together for years (or even decades) complain 
about a sexless marriage or have to settle for mediocre sex. In fact, a 
percentage of married couples report that sex within their long-term 
union has benefits they couldn’t have imagined. Even if the frequency of
 sex has diminished, these couples report high levels of sexual 
satisfaction, and a deep and meaningful intimacy that arises from sex.<br />
Let’s turn our attention to five benefits of married sex (as well as sex in a long-term relationship).<br />
<h3>
Sex As an Expression of Love</h3>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“Every time I have sex with my wife, it is an act of deep, profound love.”</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Ken, married almost twenty years</div>
</blockquote>
It’s
 usually assumed that couples who are married love each other, unless, 
of course, their love has faded and they’re heading for divorce or 
staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. But for 
the many married couples who do love each other, they have the wonderful
 opportunity to express and share their love through sexual expression. 
The entwining of sex and love takes sex to new heights for many 
couples—in these instances, the act of sex itself becomes a powerful way
 to transform the subjective feelings of love into tangible acts of 
loving expression and appreciation.<br />
<h3>
The Benefits of a Shared History</h3>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“Married
 sex is like dancing with a partner you are totally familiar with; it 
makes for a great dance because you know his particular rhythms and 
moves.” </em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Holly, married fourteen year<strong>s</strong></div>
</blockquote>
A
 deep connection arises out of a shared history where trust is 
established. It is through a couple’s shared history that a deeper 
knowing and understanding of the other occurs—a knowing that results not
 just from time spent together, but from ongoing, meaningful 
communication. For intimacy to be nurtured, the evolution of this 
communication must include discussions about one another’s most 
important desires and longings; sexual and emotional likes and dislikes;
 as well as an understanding of each other’s hopes, dreams and 
vulnerabilities.<br />
When this knowing occurs in the bedroom, a sexual
 empathy is set in motion that becomes part of the foundation for a 
couple’s sexual exploration. Great sex arises from sexual empathy: a 
mutual appreciation of what each partner/spouse needs sexually, as well 
as emotionally.<br />
<h3>
A Sexual Foundation Built upon Emotional Security</h3>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“The
 longer we’ve been married, the more secure I feel in our relationship. 
That security allows me to take risks sexually with my wife. I always 
felt sexually anxious the times I had sex and didn’t know the person 
really well.”</em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Michael, married seven years</div>
</blockquote>
When
 you love someone, they have a great deal of power and influence over 
you (there’s no denying this fact). Feelings of insecurity and anxiety 
arise when we start to feel we no longer matter to our partner, that our
 needs and concerns are falling on indifferent ears. But when we feel 
emotionally secure and safe, a whole new world of possibilities is 
opened to us.<br />
Sexually, this might take the form of taking greater
 risks sexually (like it did for Michael in the above quote)–a giving of
 the parts of you no one else gets to see (your emotional 
vulnerabilities, as well as a sharing of your sexual longings and 
fears). This emotional security gives you greater emotional and sexual 
freedom; a freedom to let your guard down and be swept away in the 
mutual pleasures and connecting moments of sexual intimacy.<br />
<h3>
When Sexual Passion and Love Converge</h3>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“I’ve had passion without love and love without passion. Now I have both, and it’s indescribable.” </em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Raquel, married eleven years</div>
</blockquote>
One
 of the common sexual complaints of couples in long-term relationships 
is diminished passion—what was once spontaneously ignited now requires 
effort and planning. Many of these couples might still have a rewarding 
sex life (“We enjoy sex whenever we have it…<i>if</i> we have it…”), 
even if their sexual dance has become somewhat predictable. But for some
 married couples, passion and love have blended, making for mind-blowing
 sex.<br />
These couples aren’t afraid to be sexually adventurous. They
 trust each other enough to try new things and give fully of themselves.
 They communicate effectively about their sexual needs and use their 
deep knowledge of each other to generously give and openly receive 
sexual and sensual pleasure. And, most importantly, these couples create
 a shared space (unencumbered by the stresses and obligations of daily 
life) where sexual passion is allowed to take root.<br />
<h3>
Playing Between the Familiar and the Unknown</h3>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“I
 got so turned on when my wife did something totally unexpected the 
other day…she became a little unrecognizable to me in that moment, and I
 have to admit, it was hot…”</em><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Daniel, married four years</div>
</blockquote>
Part
 of the emotional security married couples take comfort in arises out of
 the familiar and predictable routines that come to define their 
couplehood. Psychologist Esther Perel, in her brilliant book <i>Mating in Captivity</i>
 describes how a certain level of emotional closeness (the hallmark of a
 loving marriage) also has the potential to extinguish sexual desire. 
It’s when a level of psychological separateness occurs that the other 
person can be seen and experienced; and it is in this contact with a 
separate other that the fires of sexual passion are able to ignite.<br />
Why
 does this make married sex so amazing? It’s a very different experience
 having someone you know well (your spouse/partner) let go sexually 
and/or act in a surprising or provocative manner, compared to someone 
you’ve just met or don’t know so well. Married couples are in an 
enviable position in this regard since they can bounce back and forth 
between the familiar/secure and the novel/tantalizing. In the psychic 
space between these seemingly contradictory experiences, a tension 
exists, a tension that can fan the flames of sexual desire and allows 
for passion’s potential.<br />
While the above list is by no means 
exhaustive, it does point to some important benefits that married 
couples can enjoy when it comes to sex. The loss of sexual intimacy and 
passion in long-term relationships is not an <i>inevitable</i> outcome 
of domesticity. In fact, couples who have been together for a long time 
have unique opportunities to build upon their emotional foundations of 
love and security, whether this involves nurturing love and emotional 
intimacy through sex, or pushing against each other’s sexual boundaries 
in order to stimulate moments of sexual excitement.<br />
The challenge 
is for married couples to identify any routines that may have led to 
relationship and sexual ruts, the routines they may too heavily rely on 
out of habit or complacency. Once those routines are identified, you can
 create and nurture opportunities that make your sex life a rich and 
meaningful part of your marriage or long-term relationship.</section>

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

Married Sex Can be Great Sex Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some o...

What To Do When She's Trying To Steel Your Man

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixvfk7XI7n0yB2ERYM0YW41AvwgDSsvXc3HET6u4ub7AV-qjaUgvRtewurS5oMfBLw82khzjmgFWO03RFYRKT3cqZJSGdPi4q4u7gZ8tIyVMXNN5JQJg4oPUVdfLe3FD93EQDq0RBZvmE/s1600/african-american-couple-hugging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixvfk7XI7n0yB2ERYM0YW41AvwgDSsvXc3HET6u4ub7AV-qjaUgvRtewurS5oMfBLw82khzjmgFWO03RFYRKT3cqZJSGdPi4q4u7gZ8tIyVMXNN5JQJg4oPUVdfLe3FD93EQDq0RBZvmE/s1600/african-american-couple-hugging.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Maybe it’s his ex, one of his co-workers or an old friend from college. You see the way she looks at your him. You notice how often she needs his “help.” You hear what she says about him…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And it’s got you worried.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Everything this woman says or does screams at you that she’s got one goal and that’s to break up your love relationship or marriage and to move in and be with your guy. You feel irritated, angry and threatened by it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You also feel helpless.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Even if you’ve talked with your partner about her behavior and he agrees with you, this situation is beyond your control. You can’t force someone to leave your partner alone. You can’t be there every single time your guy interacts with this woman.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You may feel especially helpless if your partner sees it differently. If he doesn’t believe this woman from his past or current life is the threat you say she is or if he’s unwilling to lose her friendship over your “jealousy,” your frustration with the whole situation (including him) will rise.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Your first impulse might be to contact the woman and send a strong message telling her to stay away from your man! This urge is understandable, but almost always unwise to act on.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The results may be even more advances by her and a whole lot of tension in your relationship– not to mention the chance that you might spark a fight with the woman where one (or both) of you could get hurt. In addition to all of this, your partner won’t like it that you stepped in and he may believe you don’t trust him to handle it. He’s likely to greet your meddling with defensiveness and hostility.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> None of these are good for you and especially not good for your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s what will help…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Get the facts. </span><br />Don’t let your worries and fears take over. There’s a lot of room for misunderstanding when it comes to human interactions, especially so if you have a jealousy habit. Do listen to that nagging feeling you have and find out what’s really going on. Keep an open mind and get facts. What are her literal actions and words? Listen to what he says about her and the conversations he’s had with her. Use this kind of reliable information to decide whether or not she’s truly trying to break you two up.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Leave her alone. </span><br />The temptation for many is to quickly and strongly stop anyone who threatens your relationship. Even if you have hardcore proof that she’s blatantly trying to steal your partner, it’s wise to leave her alone. For many of the reasons mentioned above, a more powerful message can be sent by your partner to this woman. Support <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">him</span> in setting boundaries with her or in telling her “thanks, but no.” Ask your guy to tell you what’s going on so that you’ll know this has been sufficiently resolved.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Fix relationship holes. </span><br />Most of the time, affairs happen when there are weak points or “holes” in the relationship. If there’s built up resentment, frequent arguing or emotional distance between you and your partner, focus your energy there. When your relationship is healthy, close and happy, it really doesn’t matter what another woman says, does (or looks like), so make your relationship impermeable!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Create agreements with your man. </span><br />Conscious agreements are a powerful way to address this potential threat to your relationship without meddling or making things worse. Avoid blaming or accusing your man or even the woman. Talk with him about observable actions and also how you feel and what you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Ask him to agree to be open and honest about his interactions with her, even if you might be upset about it. Ask your partner to set clear and firm limits with her and be specific about what those limits are (e.g. calls only when it involves parenting decisions, texting only if it’s strictly work-related, etc.). It’s also smart to create agreements to encourage more connection and trust for the two of you.</div> </div>

What To Do When She's Trying To Steel Your Man

Maybe it’s his ex, one of his co-workers or an old friend from college. You see the way she looks at your him. You notice how often she ...

What Is Dating?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <h1 class="title" id="page-title" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; float: left; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 39px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 62px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjITeoFgMaaKz9pZjXrIObhjLsKRVpUNsV-HkA8zGUiVf0Du8U6mQpx1SUBQWLyZmUuCxsTnD5TEmwRB1MtnhctDCwbrsHnYycYaKs0KDHMP5uSTVtNJlabpITJKxObHkucVubYTrwtAY8/s640/dating+vs+relationship.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /><span style="letter-spacing: -0.05em; text-align: left;">What is Dating?</span></h1> <br /> <div class="block block-system block-main block-system-main odd block-without-title" id="block-system-main" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="block-inner clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <article about="/dating-basics/what-is-dating" class="node node-page node-published node-not-promoted node-not-sticky author-admin odd clearfix" id="node-page-4" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" typeof="foaf:Document"><div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-items" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect.org, we </div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> define <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit;">“dating” as two people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or open, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating abuse can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships.</span></div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Types of Dating</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You and your friends may use the word “dating” or you may not. People describe relationships in different ways. Whatever you call it, we want you to understand and feel comfortable with whatever type of relationship you are in. Some of the most commonly used words to describe dating are:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Going out</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Together</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Being with someone</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Seeing each other</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hubby/wifey status</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Just friends</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Friends with benefits</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hooking up</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Regardless of the label you use, you and your partner should both accept the same definition for your relationship.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> But I’m Not Dating!</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are other types of relationships that might not be considered dating that are just as real and that we can help you with here. Maybe you have a child with somebody, but do not consider yourself to be in a dating relationship with that person. Having a child together could feel like more than just dating, or you might have chosen not to be together anymore; there is no one way that relationships must work.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Another possibility is that you and your partner are married. Of course marriage is different from dating in some ways, but you might be surprised at how similar they really are! What makes a dating relationship healthy or unhealthy usually applies to marriage as well.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> At loveisrespect, we focus on dating but this site is relevant to everyone.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Who is a Partner?</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Simply put, a dating "partner" refers the person you’re in a relationship with. A healthy partner is:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respecting</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Trustworthy</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Honest</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dependable</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Supportive</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Whether you’re in a long-term, committed relationship or looking for casual dating experiences, you can still experience abuse. People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer/questioning (LGBTQ) can be in abusive relationships too. In fact, studies show that dating violence occurs at the same rates in same-sex relationships as in opposite-sex relationships.</div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </article></div> </div> </div> </div>

What Is Dating?

What is Dating? "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespe...

Relationships and Love