Ladies: 10 Signs To Know He Wants To Marry You: Put Him To The Test

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s no secret, women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking. If you suspect he’s thinking about marriage, you are probably right. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what men are thinking though, especially when it comes to commitment.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he is doing any of these 10 things, you might be closer to walking down the aisle than you think. If you have been dying to know if he’ll take the plunge but don’t want to make him feel pressured, just look for signs he wants to marry you. The proof is in the pudding.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> These 10 signs can help you navigate where you stand in his mind, even without him telling you. If he is doing these things you can be pretty sure he’s taking the relationship seriously. No one likes to be with a guy who won’t commit, so don’t! If he is dragging his feet and not treating you like a queen, find someone who will.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. Investing in your future</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72233" height="347" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Beautiful-young-couple-standing-at-the-car-dealership-and-making-their-decision.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he offered to help you buy a car or pay for higher education? Maybe he’s offered to pay off your debt or help you consolidate debt. If he is starting to look to the future when your finances will be joined, chances are he’s not going to think twice about making investments that will benefit your future life together.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he asks for your opinion when making big purchases, it is a good sign he sees you both enjoying his new purchases together. If he has got you a really nice piece of jewelry lately, he might be testing the waters so to speak in order to see your response. Remember, guys don’t want to be rejected when they pour their heart out and their entire life is on the line with the power of your one word: ‘yes’ or ‘no’.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Why not get a house magazine, a travel magazine or a parenting book. I mean don’t freak him out, but give him signs that you’re ready so he can feel more comfortable. As you do the pre engagement dance, you will start to change as you think about what your life together will be like and what you want it to be like. When you begin planning, he will also begin to pick up on the signs, so that’s a good thing.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="color: #666666; font-size: 34px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24px;">2. Planning vacations together</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s a sign that he’s taken a strong interest in you. If he’s planning vacations with you and his family or closest friends, he’s taking you pretty seriously. Even if it’s just the two of you but you can tell he is really trying to impress you, get to know you and get closer, it’s a pretty big sign my friend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Okay, planning in general is a sign he’s up to something. Have you noticed if he has been more frugal lately, is he saving up to buy you a ring maybe? Did he plan a vacation to a romantic location where he might be thinking of asking you? Is he buttering you up like a thanksgiving ham so he can stick you in the marriage oven? Sounds delicious, doesn’t it?</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. He wants to work out your differences</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a guy goes the extra mile to try to improve communication and maybe suggests couples therapy, this is a sign he wants to make it work. If he is making an effort to see your perspective or has curtailed some of the behaviors that get under your skin, maybe he is growing up and planning your future as a happy couple. If he has softened up recently, he might be warming up to the idea of forever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Is he letting go of things that used to really make him mad? In that case, he must be doing some deep thinking. If he has made an effort to be nice to your friends that you know he doesn’t like that much, he is probably trying to impress you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man, simply put, starts acting like a man and less like a child, it’s definitely on purpose. A man cannot act without motivation and if he’s been looking in the mirror recently and getting in touch with his inner truth, you’ll know something is up. If you’re reading this article and things are ringing a bell, congratulations, he might be about to change your whole life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It might be time to break open the champagne and call Aunt Mindy pretty soon (she’s the one you never talk to, but feel compelled to call just to tell her you’re getting married).</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. He can’t get enough of you</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72236" height="390" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/young-couple-with-playful-behavior-in-bedroom.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Does he invite you over every night? Has he talked about moving in together? Has he been spending an inordinate amount of time with you? Chances are he is smitten and thinking about the next step. If you’ve been together for a while, at least six months, chances are he’s thinking about it, even if he hasn’t mentioned it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he keeps choosing to hang out with you over his friends, he might be ready to take the plunge. If he is showering you with compliments and seems really happy, this man is most likely very satisfied with you and thinking about that big decision.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he put pictures of you everywhere, in his wallet and at his office? Does he call you and text you a lot? Does he ask to have dates and surprise you with fun things? When a guy is really excited about you, he won’t be able to stop. They aren’t that good at hiding it.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 5. He introduces you to everyone he knows</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s a big sign. Has he introduced you to all of the people that are important to him? This includes best friends, coworkers, and family. If he’s not ashamed of your relationship and he’s making sure everyone knows you guys are an item, chances are you’ve got yourself a committed man that will be on his knee in not too long.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ll pick up on how he’s behaved in the past; maybe you’re the first one he has introduced to everyone. Guys are usually very cautious about bringing girls into the circle of trust. But when you’re in, it’s a big sign he loves you. Pay attention to how he introduces you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What did he say, does he compliment you, and is he proud of you? Does he hold your hand in front of them? This man wants to literally hold onto you until death do you part.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 6. Meeting the parents</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Guys are funny creatures. Some of them will bring their parents on their first date (yes I’ve seen this happen), some guys will introduce you to their parents within the first week of dating, and some guys are more protective and wait for a while. Whatever the case may be, if he’s introduced you to his parents, this is a sign that he’s serious about you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he had cold feet about meeting your parents and suddenly warmed up to the idea like it was no big deal, this man’s mind has changed. Is he asking to meet your parents and siblings? Is he asking what your parents like, trying to get to know them and get on their good side? Is he trying to score brownie points?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve never been married before, you might not even realize what you’re walking into when a man gets serious about the relationship. Don’t think he’s just being nice because likes you. A man will not embrace a woman’s family unless he’s thinking they are going to become his family.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 7. Looking at houses</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he become obsessed with looking at houses recently? If so, he might be thinking about wedding bells my dear. Usually guys don’t buy houses with girls they aren’t serious about. If he’s looking at them with you, he’s probably planning on living in one with you. Is this getting you excited? Getting nervous?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Has he started talking about furniture or mortgages? Has he been obsessed with figuring out the job that will offer you both a great lifestyle? Has he been talking about or looking over “figures” a lot? He’s got nuptials on his mind if he’s plotting to nest.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 8. Talking about children</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, this is a big one too. If he keeps bringing up how he wants to be a dad or what a great mom you would make, his mind is in the future and he sees you guys starting a family. If you have noticed him commenting on babies or talking about friend’s kids, this man’s primal instincts are kicking in; he’s looking long term.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Now, if you’re shopping, and he takes a turn into the kid section, you can almost guarantee his mind is scheming. Has he bought any self-help books recently? When men are thinking about becoming fathers, they often try to better themselves and prepare. For that matter, when they are getting ready for marriage, they will often do that as well.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Maybe he dropped a bad habit, cleaned up his diet, started an exercise plan or made an effort to get a better paying job. If he has become more responsible lately, he might be thinking about settling down.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 9. He’s really open with you</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt=" women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking LADIES: 10 Signs To Know He Wants to Marry You: Put Him to the Test" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-72238" height="390" src="http://youqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Couple-having-a-spritz-time-with-a-lake-view.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="585" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man becomes vulnerable, it’s a good sign. If he has suddenly begun to share embarrassing moments, feelings, and other sensitive things, he might really have serious plans with you. When a man trusts you, he behaves differently. He lets his guard down and is more of his goofy self.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Remember to be sensitive to him as he opens up, so he doesn’t feel like you’re going to attack him if he does let his guard down. Try not to judge him, and see him as a fellow human that is learning life lessons and doing the best he can.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 10. He’s extra attentive</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Have you noticed him being extra nice to you recently? Has he been noticing when you change your hair or complimenting you on your outfits? Has he offered to take you out to dinner and gotten you flowers. Maybe he’s stopped leaving a mess in the living room or made sure to put down the toilet seat.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When a man starts being a gentleman and stops being a boyfriend, he’s thinking seriously about something. Has he become more supportive of your ideas or asked you about your goals? Why is he evaluating your five year plan? What is he trying to figure out? If you sense that your guy is trying to see if your goals line up, this guy is sizing up wife material.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If he’s not doing any of these things, it doesn’t mean he isn’t serious about you. Only you can know for sure. If you’re wondering, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just asking. If you do want to marry this man, you want to be able to be open about your feelings anyway, right? If you’re so curious, just see what his thoughts are.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What if you never asked and you spent years with someone just trying to ‘read the signs’ and not wanting to scare him off. Maybe he’s not looking for marriage and you can save yourself the heartache early on. Don’t pressure him by saying something like ‘when do you want to get married?’ but see if it’s something he’s considering.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Open and candid relationships have the best chances of making it. Don’t be afraid to speak up and be open.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When you feel his energy turned towards you, you will know something is up. If he is remembering what you say, listening intently and cancelling fantasy football with his buddies so you can have a movie night, this man has a ring on his mind.</div> <a class="bannerclick h2" data-id="70547" href="http://3b4ceei8r1ir5mabni-dscgifm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=H2A1" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-transition: 0.2s; background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #1aadd2; display: block; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-stretch: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: 0.2s; vertical-align: baseline;"></a><br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro'; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 26px; padding: 0px 0px 20px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you know someone who could benefit from this article, do them a favor and pass it along. I would love to hear feedback from you amazing women, and I thank you for being a part of the You Queen community.</div> </div>

Ladies: 10 Signs To Know He Wants To Marry You: Put Him To The Test

It’s no secret, women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking. If you suspect he’s thinking about marr...

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Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_78828670_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">A common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle to make change is a strong negativity bias.  The needle on the “Geiger counter” of their relationship is bouncing up and down in the red.  In the worst cases, they are hostile, adversarial, mistrusting and believe they are experts on each other, convinced that they “know” exactly how the other feels.  And it’s not good.<br /> “He doesn’t even like me.”<br /> “She has one foot out of the marriage.”<br /> “He wishes he would have married ___.”<br /> “She is only staying in the marriage because of our child.”<br /> In psychology-speak, a “negativity bias” refers to the neuroscience of feeling threatened.  Rick Hanson, PhD explains below:<br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“In your brain, there are separate (though interacting) systems for negative and positive stimuli.  Negative stimuli produce more neural activity than do equally intense (e.g., loud, bright) positive ones. They are also perceived more easily and quickly. For example, people in studies can identify angry faces faster than happy ones; even if they are shown these images so quickly (just a tenth of a second or so) that they cannot have any conscious recognition of them, the ancient fight-or-flight limbic system of the brain will still get activated by the angry faces.” </em></div> People have varying degrees of negativity bias.  Those with trauma or challenged family of origin experiences are often vulnerable to a stronger negativity bias than someone with a secure upbringing, strong sense of self and no traumatic experiences.  The brain is wired for fear or security…and many shades of grey in between.<br /> Thankfully, we have learned that a negativity bias can be challenged by noticing the good, gratitude, mindfulness and other positive practices that can rewire the brain.<br /> <h2 style="text-align: center;"> <strong>A negativity bias can exist in relationships too.</strong></h2> The couple with the Geiger bouncing up and down at the extreme end of the negative side are going to be stuck unless they work together to counter the negative with positive, to move the needle slowly towards their ability to make room for benefit of the doubt and willingness to be vulnerable.  The idea is to build good will again, to create an environment where your partner feels he/she can put down the sword and shield.  You are BOTH responsible for this.<br /> <strong>11 Ways to Counter the Negativity Bias in Your Relationship</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-300x225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-10762" height="225" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-300x225.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-300x225.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-181x136.jpg 181w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-190x142.jpg 190w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS-350x263.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Fotolia_31616302_XS.jpg 400w" width="300" /></a></div> <ol> <li>Begin each day with a positive statement or greeting for each other.</li> <li>In transitional moments, (coming or going, one going to bed, etc), say hello, goodbye, goodnight with an affectionate gesture.</li> <li>Notice aloud what is going well.  “That’s great that you got a bonus, you’ve worked hard.”</li> <li>Show appreciation.  “That was a really delicious meal, thank you.”</li> <li>Offer help.  If you see something you can do to help your partner, offer it up.  “Would you like me to make Sarah’s school lunch tomorrow to give you a break?”</li> <li>Check in.  Make an effort to ask each other how you are doing to demonstrate care.</li> <li>Make time.  Schedule a walk or lunch with each other.  Show each other that you <em>want</em> to be there.</li> <li>Repair if needed.  If you mess up, apologize right away.  This will not be a straight line.</li> <li>Be open.  A repair attempt will do no good if you are not open to possibilities.  Change cannot happen either.</li> <li>State your needs.  Make sure you’ve articulated what you need in the relationship to give your partner a chance to respond.</li> <li>Try again.  Don’t allow resentment and sensitivity derail the process.  Know that it’s hard work and perfection doesn’t exist.</li> </ol> Remember that your goal is to create an environment for your relationship to heal.  Practice empathy for your partner and self-compassion, as after all, such a strong negativity bias was born out of wounds (perceived or real).  It’s a natural drive to be self protective in matters of the heart.  The hope is to shift the dynamic so you both feel the other is truly there and can be leaned upon.<br /> Intimate relationships are second to parent-child relationships in vulnerability and need to feel emotionally safe.</section></div>

Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias?

Does Your Relationship Have a Strong Negativity Bias? A common thread in my couples therapy practice with those who struggle ...

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Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="513" src="http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.7587022.1337/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you're not a Christian, the idea behind the season is interesting. It's a time of giving up vices and substituting more positive behavior in their place. Where better to try this out than in our relationships?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Every couple has their own unique blend of struggles, but here are 10 bad habits of action and communication that most <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> could stand to give up. This trial only lasts 40 days, but who knows? At the end, you might want to give up your bad habits permanently.</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. You say, "You always ..."</strong><br /> When you disagree, speak in "I" statements about your <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">own</em> feelings. Don't try to tell your partner how he or she feels or what he or she does. Instead, say, "I feel ...".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. You take "I <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">love</strong> you" lightly.</strong><br /> It's not just a way to end phone calls or something to abbreviate in a text message. You worked hard to find—and keep!—this special connection. Say, "<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">I love you</strong>" out loud and in-person.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. You two shower seperately.</strong><br /> Get in there TOGETHER sometimes! After a while, couples stop noticing each other's bodies. The intimate act of washing your loved one (and all the <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">sexy</strong> stuff than can occur during and after) is worth taking turns under the shower head.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. You email each other WAY too much.</strong><br /> Instead of emailing your sweetheart a link to that funny YouTube video or posting something on a Facebook wall, share your thoughts on paper. Write a haiku or a knock-knock joke. Doodle. Check "yes" (not "no"). When was the last time you really looked at your partner's—or anyone else's!—handwriting?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. You forget to say, "Please".</strong><br /> It's easy to fall into the habit of just telling your partner to do something. But sharing your life with someone is a GIFT. So say "Please" and "Thank you".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. You distance yourself after a rough patch.</strong><br /> Touch your partner on the face or arms before bringing up a tough subject—it works much more effectively than words do. Then say what you need to say. This way you're keeping the connection alive.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. You CONSTANTLY complain.</strong><br /> Instead of complaining, try to tell your partner three things that you appreciate about him/her or the relationship everyday.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. You hyper-focus on everything he does WRONG. (And think he's a mind reader.)</strong><br /> Because he can't. Instead, remember that he will never think like a woman, and focus on what he does do for you and acknowledge it. And if you want something else, ask for it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. You avoid couples therapy.</strong><br /> It's important to be proactive and find support before it gets worse. There are a multitude of marriage education resources on the web, ranging from counselors, coaches, ministers, psychologists, non-profit organizations, etc..</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. You give him what <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">you </em>want.</strong><br /> Instead of assuming you know what your partner needs to feel loved, ASK him. If love to your partner is more hugs and kisses, give them. If love is a night out with the guys, give it to him. Show your partner his kind of love for the ULTIMATE loving experience.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Which bad relationship habits do you think you should give up for Lent?</strong></div> </div>

Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you'r...

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12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

Read more »