How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

<div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some point in our life.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" /></a></div> Often, my clients and I use words such as <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">healthy </em>or <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">successful </i>when describing goals within their treatment. Many of my clients initially start their process with describing their conflicts and frustrations. It’s not uncommon to hear, “The way we argue is unhealthy. We desperately need help <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communicating </em>so we can have a successful relationship.”</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> A common misconception is learning to communicate more effectively will fix your relational issues. Although my counseling style teaches better communication and listening skills, it is not the <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">only component to creating a successful relationship. </em>Although communication is a key factor in enhancing understanding and facilitating connection within the relationship, it is in my opinion, that communication itself can’t sustain a successful relationship or deepen the connection and intimacy <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">entirely.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> So… then, what the heck <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">is a successful relationship </em>and what’s the effective recipe to get there?</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> “A healthy, successful relationship” is an <span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">evolution</span> of commitment, self-awareness and vulnerability.</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Unfortunately, a successful relationship does not have a finish line and it’s more about a deep sense of security rather than a distinguishable accomplishment. It challenges our traditional definitions of “success,” and it begins when two people know and understand themselves (or are consistently open to trying to<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">). </em>The evolution of creating a successful relationship happens when two people push their own boundaries to jeopardize their emotional safety with each other. It happens when both partners really understand themselves to the core of their emotions, needs, behaviors and insecurities. This is the bulk of <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">vulnerability</em>, which inspires natural relational growth and security.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> To be clear, being in a successful relationship does not void you or your partner of struggle, nor does it mean you are an expert communicator at all times. Creating a successful relationship is more about knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge when you’re reacting in a way that is pushing your partner away. It’s forcing yourself to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying it may be. It’s committing to your own self-development just as much as it’s committing loyalty to your partner.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> It’s knowing when your pride is in overdrive and your defensives are clogging your ability to be honest and authentic to yourself and/or to your partner. It is then, when <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communication </em>is extremely helpful. When you can articulate your needs and fears in a de-escalated way and ask for what you need, your partner <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">hears you.</em> You cannot effectively communicate (or begin the evolution of creating a successful relationship) if you aren’t attune to yourself or are not aware of your behaviors, intentions and needs. This is why I am suggesting that being a “good communicator” is more than just using <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I statements </em>and actively listening to each other. Being in a successful relationship requires vulnerability and self-awareness within the communication, which only makes it more effective.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I personally understand how difficult this process can be.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> As I have had my share of unhealthy relationship experiences in my past. As I reflect back to my past relationship failures, I can now acknowledge several things that took me years to understand. In those moments, I remember constantly feeling heartbroken, unworthy, insecure and completely insane. I never felt good enough for any of my “boyfriends” and always felt I had to prove or deny something deep within myself. I stumbled around for years just trying to find a partner<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> who wouldn’t leave me.</em> That seemed simple enough…<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> right? </em>I did not realize this at the time, but I was looking for a partner to help me feel secure with myself. This only put a lot pressure on my boyfriends in hopes that they could <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">fix </em>me, help me feel confident and lower my insecurities. Instead,<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>it produced the complete opposite outcome and most cheated on me or were rarely available at the times I needed them the most. This pattern reinforced to me for years, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I wasn’t worthy and would never be in a successful relationship.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" /></a>One day, I decided I needed to choose to be alone. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>A little bitter (at the time I believed I was on the path of relational destruction due to the “lack of good men out there”), I decided that being alone <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">had to be better </em>than dating men that had the tendency to bring out the worst in me. I wrote a list of all the things that I needed and wanted from a relationship. I laughed and then I cried; emotions of hope soon dwindled into sadness as I felt completely torn and discouraged. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How would I ever find a relationship like this, did it even exist? </em>Again, not realizing at the time, but I would soon realize that this relationship <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">does exist </em>but it requires a whole lot of work on <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">myself. </em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I went to graduate school to become a therapist (who would have thought?) and dug deep within my own process, I attended my own counseling and realized that a crucial part of this puzzle was missing all along.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;">  <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I had to establish a positive relationship with my own self before I was able to find, create and sustain a healthy relationship with someone else. </span>I had to look in the mirror and take accountability for my inability to process my own emotions and my refusal to be real with myself. I had to take ownership of my pain, insecurities and defenses. I had to accept these [personal] things were a huge contributing factor to my past failed relationships and recognize it wasn’t just because “<span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration-line: underline;">I picked the wrong men.”</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I was never in a “healthy,” successful relationship until I met my husband. How do I know? Well… Because, when I challenged myself to understand myself better, my self confidence grew and my intention of wanting a relationship shifted significantly. I attracted my husband with genuine qualities verses acts of desperation and insincerity. I was able to soothe myself when I felt uncomfortable, verses relying solely on him to take away my fears and then getting angry with him because he couldn’t. I pushed myself to be vulnerable and took the necessary risks which helped him understand me and prevented me from exploding with resentment as I used to do in the past. This left little to no room for him to have to make his own assumptions of my reactive behavior.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> All of this work I was doing on myself, (and I may add, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">all of the work he was also doing on himself), </em>made a huge difference in our abilities to get close to each other. It’s a relationship I never knew was possible. We’ve had our ups and definitely had our downs, but what makes our relationship “successful,” is the evolution of committing our lives to each other, as well as ourselves. We now have learned throughout the years how to show up and operate in our most authentic self and we constantly push ourselves to be transparent with each other. We are vulnerable, sometimes emotionally messy, but we are honest and true.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I would encourage you to reflect on your own behaviors and possible incongruences with your thoughts, actions and emotions. Especially before you are quick to blame your partner or your lack of partners when you’re feeling really misunderstood or alone. Building understanding within yourself is essential to promoting longterm success in your relationship(s). Check your patterns, your beliefs, your insecurities. Check your behaviors and your defenses. Understand what you need and why you need it. Be honest and vulnerable with yourself and it will take you and your relationship in a whole new direction. It’s terrifying, but it’s worth it!</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I’m here to help! Thanks for reading.</div>

How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some ...

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5 Tips For Starting A New Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5L3oeBKplVY1XHMT-1w-Qa33P7UbeAbQ74LTNenRV4mEmds7k-AeZR0u3PZtJzmE_PGU1GxEnQi1KOr5qC07xBGn22vB3b3JdHkXGJyq00C0mStzWUfXhak1ltQ7wGQ8kB6TwiZpH0Kk/s1600/5-tips-start-relationship-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5L3oeBKplVY1XHMT-1w-Qa33P7UbeAbQ74LTNenRV4mEmds7k-AeZR0u3PZtJzmE_PGU1GxEnQi1KOr5qC07xBGn22vB3b3JdHkXGJyq00C0mStzWUfXhak1ltQ7wGQ8kB6TwiZpH0Kk/s400/5-tips-start-relationship-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Beginning a relationship can feel a lot like entering uncharted waters (no matter how many times you've done it). There's no map. Every girl you date has unique personality traits, needs and desires, so you can't necessarily approach each relationship the same cookie-cutter way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Perhaps you're ready to take things to the next level with someone you've been dating. Or maybe you want to be with a friend you've developed feelings for over time. Regardless of how you've arrived at this crossroads, five practical tips can help you get off to a good start and navigate your path as a couple. These tips aren't tricks, rules or games. Leave that to dating -- you know, that casual, noncommitted time spent together doing things like going to movies or out to dinner. The approaches we'll discuss here are fitting if you want to set yourself up for something much more: a relationship that's about an emotional, committed connection.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> 5. Get Clear on What You Want</h2> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> First things first. Identify what you want out of a relationship. Think big picture here. Maybe you want to see multiple girls at one time to play the dating circuit. Or maybe you want to fall in love and be in a monogamous relationship. Whether casual or committed, relationships are much easier (and more fun) if you know what you want out of the experience before you start one.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Our brains are wired to experience lust, romantic love and attachment (a sense of calm and security for a long-term partner), according to Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and expert on romantic love. She says it's possible to experience these three distinct types of love simultaneously -- even for three people at the same time. Which ones are most important to you? If you're after all three in one person, great! Just get clear on what you desire so you can manifest it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Actualize your ideal relationship by listing qualities you’re looking for in a partner. Religious values, intelligence, hair color: Whatever you care about, put it on your wish list. Next, whittle it down to qualities you can’t live without. You might have a list of 30 preferences, but only seven non-negotiables. Consider only dating people who make your short list. Why? It’s simple: You’re more likely to find the relationship you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> When you find your non-negotiables in one person, you've got something special! That kind of connection doesn't happen every day, so protect and cherish what you have.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> 4. Share Your Intentions With Her</h2> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Share your intentions with the girl you're dating. Do it relatively early on, not six months into seeing her. This means explaining your expectations and hopes not only for your own future, but for your future together. Do you hope the relationship grows into something long-term, or do you plan tosplit up when you move across the country for school soon?</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Talk instead of making assumptions. Different activities and gestures mean different things to different people. Meeting each other's parents or getting physically intimate automatically equates to a monogamous relationship to some people, but it might mean casual dating to others. Remember, sharing intentions doesn't mean you have to know specifics like whether this girl is right for you now or is the one you want to marry down the road. It's about disclosing the direction you're going, not necessarily the destination. Where are you headed? Answering this question helps avoid miscommunications, hurt feelings, lost time and bruised egos.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> 3. Be Your (Best) Self</h2> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> You should be able to be yourself around your special lady friend. What are you normally like when it comes to things like hobbies, humor, spirituality or goals? Do you change when you're around her? Hopefully, not much. Sure, sometimes change can be a good thing if she helps you evolve and mature. But in general, if you behave in ways that are inconsistent with who you really are to satisfy, impress or appease her, you might be dating the wrong person.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Real affection is when someone is into you for you. It comes from a place of acceptance, not a place of deception where a woman has been duped by an act you've put on.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> Gravitate toward girls who celebrate and encourage the authentic you, not the ones who press you to change for them rather than for yourself.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> 2. Show Her You Get Her</h2> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> People mostly feel (and give) affection in one of five main ways, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of best-selling book "The Five Love Languages." Chapman defines the five love languages as physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and gifts. He advocates <a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/tips/5-communication-tips-for-romantic-relationships.htm" style="color: #005288; text-decoration: none;">communicating</a> your feelings for your partner using the language she most identifies with. You can tell her "<a href="http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/advice/first-to-say-i-love-you.htm" style="color: #005288; text-decoration: none;">I love you</a>," "You're so beautiful" or other words of affirmation 100 times a day, but if her language is physical touch, she's not going to feel the magnitude of what you're trying to communicate. A hug and kiss when she walks in the door or a foot rub while watching a movie probably will go further in making her feel cherished and close to you. (And don't forget to let her know your own love language.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> A big part of a successful relationship is to show your girl you get her. For example, don't keep giving her roses if she's made numerous comments that wildflowers are her favorite. If spending quality time together is big for her, say yes to her invitations to go on walks, watch the sunset or turn off the TV at dinner and talk instead. If you don't, no matter what you do, she probably won't feel very loved or understood.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> 1. Mind Your Money</h2> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> If you want to date one or more people at a time just to have fun, carefree experiences, knock yourself out. Spend whatever you've budgeted for the ladies. Have a great time!</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> But if you're looking for an intimate relationship and perhaps something more long-term, let's assume you want to be with a woman who's with you for you -- not your money (or lack thereof). It's fairly easy to have a good time with almost anyone when you're doing fun things like dining at nice restaurants, attending swanky events or living the high life. Right?</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-top: 15px; padding: 0px; width: auto;"> So, find out if you two have a close bond by doing free or cheap things together. If you're able to feel closeness and have a blast without spending a dime, what's holding you two together probably has more to do with your dynamic than you simply being a vehicle to fun times.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: table-cell; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: 46px; line-height: 19.695999145507813px; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; vertical-align: middle; width: 380px;"> <br /><br /></h2> </div>

5 Tips For Starting A New Relationship

Beginning a relationship can feel a lot like entering uncharted waters (no matter how many times you've done it). There's no m...

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13 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilyYvD4vL6k7MvlJGFckVT3mjOOq8aYePCtFMA-7zJLjtdTZ-4RrzI9_HacU0j7gvetHXwawLYtXlNUgU1AecwOkYOV3cdbUqQ-sN3BywrcaSA_yj0BXFTLe5-Tpu2fAyaM3r6sbNCTFM/s1600/CoupleLyingInBedAndKissingOnNose-850x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilyYvD4vL6k7MvlJGFckVT3mjOOq8aYePCtFMA-7zJLjtdTZ-4RrzI9_HacU0j7gvetHXwawLYtXlNUgU1AecwOkYOV3cdbUqQ-sN3BywrcaSA_yj0BXFTLe5-Tpu2fAyaM3r6sbNCTFM/s640/CoupleLyingInBedAndKissingOnNose-850x400.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Ask for what you want.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Become an expert on your partner.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Don't ask "how was your day."</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you're losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Keep it sexy.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it "unsexy" when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to "keep it sexy" in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">7. Get creative about the time you spend together.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">8. Get it on.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it's imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">9. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we're with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Some tips to improve communication</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">10. Take "fight breaks" when you need them.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">11. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">12. Seek to understand ... not agree.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we're invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">13. Make your apology count.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!</div> </div>

13 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating. As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpa...

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13 Tips To Boost Your Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="187" src="http://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/crp/CoupleLyingInBedAndKissingOnNose-850x400.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="400" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;"></span>As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">2. Ask for what you want.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">3. Become an expert on your partner.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">4. Don't ask "how was your day."</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;"></span>At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you're losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">5. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">6. Keep it sexy.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;"></span>What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it "unsexy" when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to "keep it sexy" in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">7. Get creative about the time you spend together.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">8. Get it on.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;"></span>Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it's imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">9. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we're with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">Some tips to improve communication</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">10. Take "fight breaks" when you need them.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">11. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">12. Seek to understand ... not agree.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we're invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;">13. Make your apology count.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> <span style="font-weight: 700;"></span>It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px;"> You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!</div> </div>

13 Tips To Boost Your Relationship

1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating. As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweat...

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12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

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Ten Dating Tips To Follow

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; clear: left; color: #363127; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <img src="http://betterafter50.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/online-dating-tips.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:</div> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Top 10 Dating Tips</b></div> <ol style="background-color: white; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away. </li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <br /></div> </div>

Ten Dating Tips To Follow

Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. N...

Read more »