How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_11TjV1t7MVAsoVBgYgCMS7qW4yDaNh-vWG-QWhFyKepWB7D8_pefhVaGvCd-a0ql0VjBGinMIz9HThnUSXeIudHmjmhxyTeMBRikbWoL2XYGXmmlzgc-XIB49ULJmEz3zaFSnQPX0I/s1600/how+to+be+happier.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" these are things you can do right now to have a happier mindset How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now" border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="735" height="690" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_11TjV1t7MVAsoVBgYgCMS7qW4yDaNh-vWG-QWhFyKepWB7D8_pefhVaGvCd-a0ql0VjBGinMIz9HThnUSXeIudHmjmhxyTeMBRikbWoL2XYGXmmlzgc-XIB49ULJmEz3zaFSnQPX0I/s1600/how+to+be+happier.png" title="How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now" width="410" /></a></div> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you're asking yourself 'How can I be happier?' these are things you can do right now to have a happier mindset. Whether you want to be happier in life, in general, at work or happier with your family, there are things you should be doing everyday in your life that will add to your happiness.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">We often find ourselves in states of unhappiness when we've been worrying about something, gotten into a bad routine, we've made bad choices or we're stressed out about life. There are little changes you can make to be happier everyday and have a lot more joy in your life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes we wish we could wake up everyday and be happy, but that doesn't always happen. That doesn't mean to say you can't drastically turn your life around so you fill everyday with things that make you happy.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It might seem like there's some huge secret on how to become happy, but the secret to being happy lies with you and the decisions you make.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Related: </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=mental-health-books"><span style="color: #e06666;">10 Best Books About Mental Health That Will Improve Your Life</span></a></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=mental-health-books"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span>The Six Simple Rules To Get Anything You Want In Life</span></a></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you're feeling down, these are 14 things you can do right now to be happier:</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1. Focus On You</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">We spend so much time trying to make other people happy and please others through our work, friends and family and we often forget to focus on ourselves. Take some time to put yourself first and do some things that actually make you happy and take a break from the pressure of pleasing others and having to be the best at everything. You won't please everyone in life so don't stress about trying to be perfect. Focus on yourself and pursue your goals and dreams.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2. Reevaluate Your Life</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Are you unhappy with your job? Does your current living situation make you unhappy? Is your relationship or friends bringing your down? Take a good look at everything in your life and imagine what you would change if you could. Then do it. Don't settle for anything that makes you unhappy, even if it means distancing yourself from people or places.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3. Travel</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I'm sure you've heard of people who go travelling to find themselves and discover their real purpose in life. This concept actually works and travelling has huge benefits for your health and happiness. There's a whole world out there so if you're feeling stuck and unhappy in life, you should go and discover it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4. Let Go Of What's Bringing You Down</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If a situation is out of your control, there's no point in stressing out about it, just let it go. Stop focusing on the negatives in your life and start thinking about everything that makes you happy and what you're thankful for. If someone has got something against you, don't let them get to you. If a situation is persistently affecting your happiness, let it go and get out of that situation as soon as possible. Let go of the negativity and start letting in the positive vibes.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>5. Plan Your Future</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you feel stuck in a certain situation right now, remember that it won't last forever. Whatever you're going through will pass and in a matter of months or years, your life will be completely different and you'll probably make a lot of new friends and have new people come into your life. Think of your ideal life and start planning it. Make little goals to get closer to the life where you wake up every day and feel happy. Anytime you feel like your unhappiness will never go away, remember that this too shall pass.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>6. Clear Your Thoughts</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">We tend to focus on things that are worrying us more than anything, and by doing so we make ourselves extremely unhappy. We get stressed about even the smallest things and can't stop thinking about anything that goes bad or anything wrong that's happened. Take some time to clear your head and listen to some calming music or a relaxation app that can help you focus on positive thoughts and letting go of the negatives.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>7. Don't Look At Social Media</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">We're all guilty of it. We scroll aimlessly through Instagram, check Facebook and Twitter and like pictures of lifestyles that we don't have and follow people who we think have much better lives than us. This has a hugely negative effect on your mental health because it makes you think that so many other people have amazing lives and you don't, which is completely false. People who post about their lives on social media often do so through a filter and make a showreel of their best moments. In reality, they have very normal lives and deal with all the same problems we do. So delete all the apps that you don't need and limit your time on social media to one or two days per week.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8. Make Better Choices</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you feel an emptiness inside and you try to fill it with bad choices such as junk food, alcohol, spending money etc. you should take time to reflect on how these things actually make you feel and if they're really making a positive impact on your life. Try to fill the void with activities or things that will benefit your health, such as, walking, dancing, exercising, going for lunch with a friend or taking up a new hobby.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9. Distance Yourself From People Who Make You Unhappy</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">We've all had a friend in our lives who we don't really class as a friend because they always cancel plans, are unreliable and only contact you when they need something. Yet we put up with these people even though the only way they impact your life is by making you unhappy. Part of making the decision to be happy is choosing who you surround yourself with in life. If you have people in your life who aren't genuinely there for you and make you unhappy, do not feel guilty about ending that friendship or relationship and distancing yourself from them. It will better your life in the long run.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10. Have A Routine</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It might seem difficult to get into a routine if you often stay up late watching TV on your laptop, or you keep working late into the early hours of the morning. However, a steady routine will greatly benefit your happiness and make you more motivated and energetic in your day to day activities. If you let yourself drift from one day to the next, not knowing exactly what you're doing each day, you're not going to have a happy and positive mindset.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11. Have A Clear Out</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">A great way to clear your mind is to clear your surroundings.  If you have a lot of things lying around your house, adding to mess and untidiness, this can impact your mind and happiness by making you feel unorganised. Go through your wardrobes and drawers and get rid of anything you don't really need. Organising your space will help to organise your life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>12. Exercise </b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I know you don't want to hear it, but exercise has a huge benefit for your mental health and happiness. Even if you can't remember the last time you properly exercised, plan to get out of the house this week and go for a light jog and a walk. You'll look and feel better and the more enjoyable the exercise is, the more likely you are to stick at it. Find a type of exercise that is fun for you, it doesn't have to be the gym. You could try pilates, hot yoga, rebounding, boxing, swimming, dancing and so much more. Have a fun exercise routine and you'll feel happier instantly.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>13. Talk About Your Feelings</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">A lot of people tend to keep their feelings bottled up and keep everything to themselves in an attempt to be strong. This is doing the opposite effect of making you happy and keeping everything to yourself is one of the worst things you can do. Talking about how you're feeling can make you feel a million times better and getting everything off your chest will help to make you feel happy instantly. You can talk to a friend, a family member, a co-worker, a counsellor, a therapist or even an online therapist on a site like <a href="http://go.tryonlinetherapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=1526"><span style="color: #e06666;">BetterHelp</span></a>, which you can do from the comfort of your own home.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 30px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>14. Focus On A Project</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Instead of letting your mind wander to unhappy thoughts and getting stressed out about life, channel your energy into a project that will better your life and make you happy. You could start working on a business idea, start a blog, journal, scrapbook or anything that will fill your time and keep you busy with something that is fun to work on.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Pin it for later:</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-9_jJD1WAKH0ztWkpuMVrQzsdML7jLdq2Lo1pkJOOxdxXkxUigmyDwtXyZb_cF_y1QPWHcWHgZJgcYYfpAyW5cu6z_9sGH0OiaSc2jkCPIEx8Z9KMW7BIDA_Sf4IrwRExr7RXGWo74g/s1600/how+to+be+happier.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" these are things you can do right now to have a happier mindset How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now" border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA-9_jJD1WAKH0ztWkpuMVrQzsdML7jLdq2Lo1pkJOOxdxXkxUigmyDwtXyZb_cF_y1QPWHcWHgZJgcYYfpAyW5cu6z_9sGH0OiaSc2jkCPIEx8Z9KMW7BIDA_Sf4IrwRExr7RXGWo74g/s1600/how+to+be+happier.png" title="How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now" width="225" /></a></div>

How To Be Happier: 14 Ways To Be Happy Now

If you're asking yourself 'How can I be happier?' these are things you can do right now to have a happier mindset. Whethe...

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How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

<div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some point in our life.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2jG9iVe5-BMeSIjTRZgUtfLCWihLKxwyJN3Td5TT0Xfhyphenhyphen844Lcrf7tRNVml_0RktrZDe8L0oUNo-NArzhvG3VahGhUhtnVPUfvS_ek6_LjIPRDzf1Qt-4SBohivznsG6V34oGRAiIT8Cg/s1600/success+in+your+relationship.jpg" /></a></div> Often, my clients and I use words such as <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">healthy </em>or <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">successful </i>when describing goals within their treatment. Many of my clients initially start their process with describing their conflicts and frustrations. It’s not uncommon to hear, “The way we argue is unhealthy. We desperately need help <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communicating </em>so we can have a successful relationship.”</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> A common misconception is learning to communicate more effectively will fix your relational issues. Although my counseling style teaches better communication and listening skills, it is not the <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">only component to creating a successful relationship. </em>Although communication is a key factor in enhancing understanding and facilitating connection within the relationship, it is in my opinion, that communication itself can’t sustain a successful relationship or deepen the connection and intimacy <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">entirely.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> So… then, what the heck <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">is a successful relationship </em>and what’s the effective recipe to get there?</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> “A healthy, successful relationship” is an <span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">evolution</span> of commitment, self-awareness and vulnerability.</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Unfortunately, a successful relationship does not have a finish line and it’s more about a deep sense of security rather than a distinguishable accomplishment. It challenges our traditional definitions of “success,” and it begins when two people know and understand themselves (or are consistently open to trying to<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">). </em>The evolution of creating a successful relationship happens when two people push their own boundaries to jeopardize their emotional safety with each other. It happens when both partners really understand themselves to the core of their emotions, needs, behaviors and insecurities. This is the bulk of <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">vulnerability</em>, which inspires natural relational growth and security.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> To be clear, being in a successful relationship does not void you or your partner of struggle, nor does it mean you are an expert communicator at all times. Creating a successful relationship is more about knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge when you’re reacting in a way that is pushing your partner away. It’s forcing yourself to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying it may be. It’s committing to your own self-development just as much as it’s committing loyalty to your partner.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> It’s knowing when your pride is in overdrive and your defensives are clogging your ability to be honest and authentic to yourself and/or to your partner. It is then, when <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">communication </em>is extremely helpful. When you can articulate your needs and fears in a de-escalated way and ask for what you need, your partner <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">hears you.</em> You cannot effectively communicate (or begin the evolution of creating a successful relationship) if you aren’t attune to yourself or are not aware of your behaviors, intentions and needs. This is why I am suggesting that being a “good communicator” is more than just using <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I statements </em>and actively listening to each other. Being in a successful relationship requires vulnerability and self-awareness within the communication, which only makes it more effective.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I personally understand how difficult this process can be.</div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> As I have had my share of unhealthy relationship experiences in my past. As I reflect back to my past relationship failures, I can now acknowledge several things that took me years to understand. In those moments, I remember constantly feeling heartbroken, unworthy, insecure and completely insane. I never felt good enough for any of my “boyfriends” and always felt I had to prove or deny something deep within myself. I stumbled around for years just trying to find a partner<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> who wouldn’t leave me.</em> That seemed simple enough…<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> right? </em>I did not realize this at the time, but I was looking for a partner to help me feel secure with myself. This only put a lot pressure on my boyfriends in hopes that they could <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">fix </em>me, help me feel confident and lower my insecurities. Instead,<em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>it produced the complete opposite outcome and most cheated on me or were rarely available at the times I needed them the most. This pattern reinforced to me for years, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">I wasn’t worthy and would never be in a successful relationship.</em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23x3AotoZqorzZvQEbOvThcUU7xaG5qfGiCP6go96_xlOvUjpF_qPIP7QlfAel9sdJgGhGOihIOTguRLZf3XwHglWu5W3gjZfs3zwMYdHJtxwmGmelzS9YzsGEI4Fxo0SdiaW_jGfqfEZ/s1600/a+successful+relationship.jpg" /></a>One day, I decided I needed to choose to be alone. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </em>A little bitter (at the time I believed I was on the path of relational destruction due to the “lack of good men out there”), I decided that being alone <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">had to be better </em>than dating men that had the tendency to bring out the worst in me. I wrote a list of all the things that I needed and wanted from a relationship. I laughed and then I cried; emotions of hope soon dwindled into sadness as I felt completely torn and discouraged. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How would I ever find a relationship like this, did it even exist? </em>Again, not realizing at the time, but I would soon realize that this relationship <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">does exist </em>but it requires a whole lot of work on <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">myself. </em></div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I went to graduate school to become a therapist (who would have thought?) and dug deep within my own process, I attended my own counseling and realized that a crucial part of this puzzle was missing all along.</div> <blockquote style="background: url("images/quote.png") 7px 5px no-repeat scroll rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; hyphens: none; line-height: 30px; margin: 24px 40px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 50px; position: relative; quotes: none; width: auto;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box;">  <span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I had to establish a positive relationship with my own self before I was able to find, create and sustain a healthy relationship with someone else. </span>I had to look in the mirror and take accountability for my inability to process my own emotions and my refusal to be real with myself. I had to take ownership of my pain, insecurities and defenses. I had to accept these [personal] things were a huge contributing factor to my past failed relationships and recognize it wasn’t just because “<span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration-line: underline;">I picked the wrong men.”</span></div> </blockquote> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I was never in a “healthy,” successful relationship until I met my husband. How do I know? Well… Because, when I challenged myself to understand myself better, my self confidence grew and my intention of wanting a relationship shifted significantly. I attracted my husband with genuine qualities verses acts of desperation and insincerity. I was able to soothe myself when I felt uncomfortable, verses relying solely on him to take away my fears and then getting angry with him because he couldn’t. I pushed myself to be vulnerable and took the necessary risks which helped him understand me and prevented me from exploding with resentment as I used to do in the past. This left little to no room for him to have to make his own assumptions of my reactive behavior.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> All of this work I was doing on myself, (and I may add, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">all of the work he was also doing on himself), </em>made a huge difference in our abilities to get close to each other. It’s a relationship I never knew was possible. We’ve had our ups and definitely had our downs, but what makes our relationship “successful,” is the evolution of committing our lives to each other, as well as ourselves. We now have learned throughout the years how to show up and operate in our most authentic self and we constantly push ourselves to be transparent with each other. We are vulnerable, sometimes emotionally messy, but we are honest and true.</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I would encourage you to reflect on your own behaviors and possible incongruences with your thoughts, actions and emotions. Especially before you are quick to blame your partner or your lack of partners when you’re feeling really misunderstood or alone. Building understanding within yourself is essential to promoting longterm success in your relationship(s). Check your patterns, your beliefs, your insecurities. Check your behaviors and your defenses. Understand what you need and why you need it. Be honest and vulnerable with yourself and it will take you and your relationship in a whole new direction. It’s terrifying, but it’s worth it!</div> <div style="background-color: #eae7e2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: Muli, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> I’m here to help! Thanks for reading.</div>

How to have healthy habits to establish success in your relationship

What is a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship even look like? We may have all wondered these questions at some ...

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How to Sabotage Your Relationships by Not Owning Your Stuff

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> How to Sabotage Your Relationships by Not Owning Your Stuff</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_28122035_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">If you’re wondering why your relationships often go awry or seem more difficult than they should be, perhaps it’s time to consider your role.  “I have a role?” you ask.  Yes, you just might.  The baggage you’ve been carrying could be weighing you AND your relationships down.<br /> There are many ways that your stuff can get in the way of how you relate to people.  What is your narrative about yourself and how others will treat you?  Your value?  This story plays out as an <em>underlying belief system</em> in which you filter how you see the world.  You might be unconsciously scanning your environment for evidence to support your story.  What if your story is inaccurate?<br /> Here are some possible ways you might be sabotaging your relationships by not owning your stuff:<br /> <ul> <li>You have rigid expectations of how others are with with you and can be easily disappointed, leading you to cut off from people –><ul> <li>Underlying Belief:  <strong>People will let me down.</strong></li> </ul> </li> <li>You are a people pleaser to avoid conflict but you carry resentment for doing more than your share or being taken advantage of –><ul> <li>Underlying Belief:  <strong>People will reject or abandon me unless I make them happy.</strong></li> </ul> </li> <li>You struggle to let intimate partners in too close to you yet desperately want connection. –><ul> <li>Underlying Belief:  <strong>I am unlovable</strong> …or… <strong>Intimate relationships</strong> <strong>can’t be trusted.</strong></li> </ul> </li> <li>There is a big difference between how your portray yourself to others and how you feel.  –><ul> <li>Underlying Belief:  <strong>I am not ok</strong>…or…<strong>There is something wrong with me.</strong></li> </ul> </li> </ul> Belief systems such as the ones above can develop from painful experiences or messages received from the important people in your life about connection, love, safety and your value.  This can reflect itself in unhealthy relationship patterns.  You might even be attracting partners who reinforce your negative story!<br /> If you’ve never worked through your painful experiences, you can inadvertently sabotage your relationships with your narrative.  You might ASSUME that things happen a certain way and these expectations can either make it be so (self fulfilling prophecy) or make it hard to believe someone’s intentions.  This can also ultimately lead to a self fulfilling prophecy when the partner who never gains trust finally leaves because it’s too painful to stay!<br /> If you take ownership of your wounds and the strategies in which you developed to defend against further pain, your world view can actually shift.  Self-love, fulfilling relationships and a sense of peace become possible.<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_40322538_XS-300x216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-9109" height="216" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_40322538_XS-300x216.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_40322538_XS-300x216.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_40322538_XS-350x252.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Fotolia_40322538_XS.jpg 408w" width="300" /></a></div> <strong>How to unwind out of a painful past</strong><br /> If you can do the following three things, you have a great chance of lightening your load and break out of unhealthy patterns.<br /> <ol> <li>Identify your issues.</li> <li>Understand the source of the problem.</li> <li>Resolve the issues with deeper level change.</li> </ol> This can be done by finding a local therapist to help, processing with a trusted friend or diving into the world of self help if you’re more of a “Do-It-Yourself” type.  Check out my mini guide, Break Your Unhealthy Relationship Patterns for a step in the right direction.<br /> What you’re trying to avoid is inadvertently sabotaging your relationships with unresolved emotional issues.  This deeper kind of work is the ultimate act of self-care for YOU and your relationships, potentially with life long impact.<br /> Be well.</section></div>

How to Sabotage Your Relationships by Not Owning Your Stuff

How to Sabotage Your Relationships by Not Owning Your Stuff If you’re wondering why your relationships often go awry or seem ...

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