12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

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Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> Fresh off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in Washington DC, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop with John Gottman.  Dr. Gottman is a dominant figure on the relationship research and couples therapy scene since the mid 80’s, when he began observing couples fighting in his “original couples laboratory,” dubbed the Love Lab.  His findings provided some of the scientific underpinnings of what we know about what maintains and erodes intimate relationships.</div> </div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">The Love Lab has been given new life and a new name; the Gottman Love Lab Experience is now being offered as “the world’s first science-based relationship evaluation service,” measuring three primary important areas of your relationship; friendship, conflict and shared meaning.<br /> Along with this cutting edge assessment opportunity for couples who are able to make it to Seattle, Washington, he is also offering therapists a new online tool, the Gottman Relationship Checkup, providing the ability to receive a score reviewing couples strengths and vulnerabilities, with feedback for possible treatment suggestions.<br /> From a recent study Dr. Gottman conducted of 40,000 Relationship Checkup participants, he has new data.  I compiled some relationship research nuggets on heterosexual couples from his presentation.  You might find some of the results surprising!<br /> <strong>For how many couples in therapy is at least one partner considering an exit?</strong>   66%<br /> 82% of couples are having problems with <strong>loneliness in the relationship</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-11014" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS.jpg 424w" width="300" /></a></div> <strong>What About Problems with Intimacy and Sex?</strong><br /> Romance 83%<br /> Sex Quality 55%<br /> Sex Frequency 49%<br /> <strong>How many partners had problems with trust?</strong>   66%<br /> <br /> <strong>The Top 3 Things Couples Fight About</strong><br /> 86% Not having fun anymore<br /> 76% Finances<br /> 74% No emotional connection<br /> Speaking of conflict, the biggest obstacle to productively navigating conflict in relationships is flooding.  This means the heart gets to 100 beats per minute which makes it nearly impossible to communicate from a calm, grounded place as your physiology will get the best of you.  In fact, when flooded, communication can be erratic, irrational and possibly damaging to the relationship.  The antidote is self-soothing or helping each other soothe, if possible.  Sometimes leaving the situation (in a structured time out) is the best thing a couple can do for a relationship.<br /> <strong>96% of couples are flooded during conflict</strong><br /> Though I didn’t catch all of the numbers Dr. Gottman shared at his presentation, particularly the gay and lesbian stats, what I did notice was a trend demonstrating that compared to heterosexual couples, they did a much better job with conflict and communication.<br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <strong><em>“As far as interaction, gay and lesbian couples really have a lot to teach heterosexual couples.” </em></strong></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> – John Gottman</div> Something to think about.  I will leave you with one more nugget and it’s an important one to consider for those who are struggling in married or long term relationships:  The #1 predictor of divorce is contempt.  If you are calling your partner names, assassinating their character or hitting below the belt in other ways…and you would like to save your relationship, please seek counseling for help.</section></div>

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know Fresh off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Sympos...

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