The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="single-featured-image" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </div> <br /> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy</h1> <div class="social-share-container"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="266" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-768x513.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S.jpg 848w" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></div> <h3> <br /></h3> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">“I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good husband…I care about what my wife thinks of me asa husband and father.” ~Sal<br /> “It scares me to admit this, but I’d be totally lost without my wife. She’s my best friend and she tells me that I’m hers. Making her happy is everything to me…” ~Luis<br /> “You only hear about the guys who are abusive or cheat, but how about the tons of men who are faithful and kind?” ~John<br /> These are some of the messages several men shared with me while discussing their thoughts about intimacy, their partners and spouses. Before long, a theme arose:<br /> What especially bothered these men were the rampant myths that go unchallenged in society about what men really want from marriage or a long-term relationship.<br /> <br /> <strong>Myth 1</strong>: Men do not value intimacy and emotional connection.<br /> <strong>Myth 2</strong>: Men are motivated to control and tell women what to do (and therefore prefer passive women).<br /> <strong>Myth 3</strong>: Men only want sex (rather than emotional connection).<br /> <strong>Myth 4</strong>: Men do not care about their partners’/spouses’ feelings.<br /> <strong>Myth 5</strong>: Men would rather spend time with their guy friends than their wives/girlfriends.<br /> <br /> Let’s take a closer look at the first myth, the one that claims that men do not value emotional closeness. This myth arises out of the difficulty some men have with emotions: in particular, expressing and sharing their feelings. This reality is partly rooted in the way in which many men are socialized. Emotional self-expression is not considered an important and useful trait for many men—therefore young boys aren’t given the psychological tools needed to identify and appropriate express their feelings.<br /> <img alt="" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-5284" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy.jpg 424w" style="margin: 5px;" title="The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy" width="300" />Of particular importance is the way in which fathers (and other male mentors) act as role-models for their sons. While many fathers are becoming more comfortable with their sons’ emotional lives, some fathers continue to hold the expectation that once their male child hits a certain age, this emotionality will give way to stoic self-control.<br /> All too often these fathers are perpetuating what was handed down to them by their own fathers—a type of intergenerational legacy of difficulty tolerating and expressing emotions.<br /> <strong>Why are feelings difficult for men?</strong><br /> Feelings of vulnerability (tenderness, sadness, fear, feeling “less than,” embarrassment and shame) conflict with the ideal of masculinity—central to this ideal is the trait of control and <em>masculine strength</em>. Men value power and in the arena of love, power and strength equate to being able to take care of your loved ones.<br /> As the requirements of marriage and intimate relationships change and men are asked to be more emotionally available, the guiding questions for many men are:<br /> <strong>How can masculinity and vulnerability exist side by side?</strong><br /> Do I need to totally abandon the traits of masculinity I value in order to be a good husband and/or father?<br /> Unfortunately, the mentality that emotional vulnerability equates to weakness is alive and well in many cultures and held by too many men. This deep-seated attitude is often triggered in relationships that require and demand greater intimacy. Faced with the challenges of intimacy, men may shut down and withdraw, rather than allow themselves to feel confused and emotionally impotent.<br /> But men still value connection!<br /> Difficulty sharing emotions does not necessarily mean that emotional connection isn’t important to men. Think of it this way: You can deeply enjoy music and yet not know how to play a musical instrument.<br /> How men go about creating connection has less to do with emotional sharing and more to do with actions that validate their masculine identity–providing for their loved ones, tangential giving that leads to concrete results.<br /> <em>As Roger recently said:</em><br /> “My wife didn’t like the color of our bedroom and when she was out with her sister, I painted the entire room her favorite color. I couldn’t wait to see her reaction. When she got home she gave me this big hug and I felt like a million bucks…”<br /> In other words, Roger felt emotionally connected to his wife. He experienced intimacy through doing for his wife, rather than emotional expression.<br /> For the men who feel most at home in the familiar but constrictive strait-jacket of hyper-masculinity, there are significant hurdles to overcome as they attempt to adjust to the new requirements of love and marriage. But for many other men, self-expression and emotional intimacy are seen as long-overdue and a welcome addition to what relationships can offer. These men have long realized that messages that continue to perpetuate the stoic, need-to-be-in-control, warrior mentality are as detrimental to men as they are to women.</section></div>

The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy

The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy “I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can hone...

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The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how they’ve never really come to real happiness in their relationships especially with the opposite sex.</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Such persons could not explain why it is difficult to find happiness in others contrary to their believe or what they’ve been fed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being happy in a relationship requires one key step before anything else. This step is so important that it cannot be skipped, for anyone wanting to enjoy his or relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let me start by saying that you can’t possibly be happy just because you are in a relationship. I’m not saying relationships do not radiate joy, No! Far from it, I’m simply saying the principal way to happier relationships with others is the one you first have with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is difficult some times not to hurt others, however, we hurt ourselves more when we do not express love to ourselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you have not loved yourself genuinely, you re never going to find happiness from others you are seeking it from. You must first take adequate care of yourself and by that, I mean not getting frustrated at slightest hurt or provocation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you stressed out? Do you feel constantly irritated at people’s behavior? If yes, then you need to drop the idea of finding happiness in other people. You must deal with these issues and get rid of them. You are to love your neighbour as yourself, how can you love another person when you have not loved yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="ud7a5959060c83edeada3fdde0dcbe1ac" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/10-important-traits-healthy-relationship/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here are some practical steps to take in achieving self love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Feed Your Mind With Positive Thoughts<br /><br /></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having quality and positive thoughts is one way to attain self happiness. Desist from negative thinking or bottling irrational thoughts in your heart. It’s a sure way to be frustrated and burned out easily. What you feed your mind with determines the level of self confidence you will exude. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. The things we experience daily in this country are frustrating enough, do not add negative thoughts to them.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <b style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">2. Spend Some Time Alone</span></span></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The company of friends and loved ones is sure good, however, a greater avenue to ease tension and get relaxed is to spend some quality time in a quiet place devoid of noise and distractions. You can go sightseeing of natural habitats, such as cool and serene environment or water bodies. Get fresh air, relax your mind and body and you are on your way to replenishing your energy.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Stay Active</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Apart from enhancing adequate blood flow to all parts or the body, regular exercise enhances mental alertness. 10-15 minutes daily exercise keeps you active with a feeling of joy radiating all over you. By so doing, you attract others who are themselves happy.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Play</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having fun is part of life, it cannot be exchanged for anything. No matter how busy your schedules are, create time to enjoy yourself. Engage in those things you find joy in doing. Visit the movies, treat yourself to a special dinner…simply have fun. Happiness attracts happiness, watch as people queue up to be around you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="u4269dc50e5cd5604f5857e98313e1baa" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/7-simple-things-you-should-be-doing-in-your-relationship-but-probably-arent/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Just Be Happy</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Smile for any accomplishment, no matter how little. Appreciate those that have been nice to you, being nice in present day Nigeria is a lot of effort. Bask in the euphoria of your breakthroughs and success.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, be very assured that hooking up with another person is not going to guarantee you happiness if you are not already a happy person. Know the person you are and enjoy your company first. If you can’t figure out you, you cannot have thorough knowledge of someone else, neither can you find joy in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, if you want to be happy in relationships, get a life! Good life, I mean.</div>

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how the...

Read more »

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how they’ve never really come to real happiness in their relationships especially with the opposite sex.</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Such persons could not explain why it is difficult to find happiness in others contrary to their believe or what they’ve been fed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being happy in a relationship requires one key step before anything else. This step is so important that it cannot be skipped, for anyone wanting to enjoy his or relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let me start by saying that you can’t possibly be happy just because you are in a relationship. I’m not saying relationships do not radiate joy, No! Far from it, I’m simply saying the principal way to happier relationships with others is the one you first have with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is difficult some times not to hurt others, however, we hurt ourselves more when we do not express love to ourselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you have not loved yourself genuinely, you re never going to find happiness from others you are seeking it from. You must first take adequate care of yourself and by that, I mean not getting frustrated at slightest hurt or provocation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you stressed out? Do you feel constantly irritated at people’s behavior? If yes, then you need to drop the idea of finding happiness in other people. You must deal with these issues and get rid of them. You are to love your neighbour as yourself, how can you love another person when you have not loved yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="ud7a5959060c83edeada3fdde0dcbe1ac" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/10-important-traits-healthy-relationship/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here are some practical steps to take in achieving self love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Feed Your Mind With Positive Thoughts<br /><br /></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having quality and positive thoughts is one way to attain self happiness. Desist from negative thinking or bottling irrational thoughts in your heart. It’s a sure way to be frustrated and burned out easily. What you feed your mind with determines the level of self confidence you will exude. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. The things we experience daily in this country are frustrating enough, do not add negative thoughts to them.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <b style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">2. Spend Some Time Alone</span></span></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The company of friends and loved ones is sure good, however, a greater avenue to ease tension and get relaxed is to spend some quality time in a quiet place devoid of noise and distractions. You can go sightseeing of natural habitats, such as cool and serene environment or water bodies. Get fresh air, relax your mind and body and you are on your way to replenishing your energy.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Stay Active</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Apart from enhancing adequate blood flow to all parts or the body, regular exercise enhances mental alertness. 10-15 minutes daily exercise keeps you active with a feeling of joy radiating all over you. By so doing, you attract others who are themselves happy.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Play</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having fun is part of life, it cannot be exchanged for anything. No matter how busy your schedules are, create time to enjoy yourself. Engage in those things you find joy in doing. Visit the movies, treat yourself to a special dinner…simply have fun. Happiness attracts happiness, watch as people queue up to be around you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="u4269dc50e5cd5604f5857e98313e1baa" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/7-simple-things-you-should-be-doing-in-your-relationship-but-probably-arent/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Just Be Happy</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Smile for any accomplishment, no matter how little. Appreciate those that have been nice to you, being nice in present day Nigeria is a lot of effort. Bask in the euphoria of your breakthroughs and success.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, be very assured that hooking up with another person is not going to guarantee you happiness if you are not already a happy person. Know the person you are and enjoy your company first. If you can’t figure out you, you cannot have thorough knowledge of someone else, neither can you find joy in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, if you want to be happy in relationships, get a life! Good life, I mean.</div>

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how the...

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Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s1600/download+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s320/download+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children — especially if you’re a female entrepreneur?</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It makes sense, right? This is the only time in your life when you have no ties, no mortgage, no kids to support. This is the only time you can really do something ambitious, if you’re being practical.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let’s face it, you’re not ready anyway. You’re busy building your company, figuring out who you are, what you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And everyone around you agrees. Everyone!<br /> Now is the time to live ! (By which you mean building the next change-the-world company, of course.) You’ve moved to New York. Or San Francisco. Or Palo Alto. Or Boston. With the express purpose of building something.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a noble cause. There is nothing more professionally satisfying as building something. Something you love. Something you can “get behind.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But…<br /> There was this girl. This guy.<br /> Eh, fuck it. You’re busy. You have more important things to do. Changing the world is a full-time job and if you don’t do it now, when will you?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s the thing: I know you. You’re probably one of the many people I’ve mentored or hired. On multiple occasions, you’ve explained to me (as if I were your batty old aunt, but I’m not taking it personally) that you have no time to get to know anyone because you’re busy doing your work.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a complete fallacy. Work and relationships are not incompatible. (Ask Mark Zuckerberg.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’ll wager that there is something about big transient cities that distorts everyone’s sense of time. You become convinced that you have time for everything you find challenging, that your ultimate horizon is infinite. This is only the beginning for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But you don’t know how much time you have. And even if things go well for you, your time is finite. You can’t figure out your professional life now and your personal life later. (Unless you’re the rare thirteen-year-old entrepreneur, in which case, I might demur.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And here is why: As with coding and management and matters of finance and marketing, relationships have a learning curve. You learn the basics of “relationshiptiva” (note to copyed: yes, I made up that word): How to deal with sexual etiquette, mundane everyday things, scheduling, and appropriate meetings with close friends, and some equitable plan for who’s supposed to pay for dinner or wash the dishesthis time. These are basics. And if you’re learning them in your thirties, it’s going to be much harder.<br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because in a few years, however young you think yourself (how old is thirty, really?), you will be approaching midlife and you won’t be as adaptable as you once were. There are reasons for this, many of which are biological. Your body won’t respond the same way. You’ll have knee problems that didn’t exist when you were running sophomore track. You can’t stay out till 4:00 a.m. anymore, because now the same alcohol intake has somehow resulted in a hangover that’s a multiple of what it once was — and you will never ever have appreciated a nice soft pillow more. And if you think you can fend these things off with diet and exercise, you should probably buy a good solid book on the aging process or find a professional athlete over the age of thirty to talk to. They will speak of massage therapists and bone density and necessary nutritional supplements. You can mitigate these things, but you can’t entirely avoid them.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But that is not the point. The point is that thirty (or thirty-two, or thirty-five) is not the age when you want to be practicing serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You have to get beyond the basics  - the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You have to figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts (if you can — some are impossible), and how to deal with the inevitabilities that come your way.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And those inevitabilities are myriad: At some point, you and your partner will go through a period of disillusionment when someone else turns your head or your partner’s. Maybe you have an affair, maybe you don’t. At some point, one of you will have significantly more career success than the other. This will become a point of tension. As will the disparity in income that usually accompanies it. At some point, you will disagree on how to raise your child and you will each wield the child as the ultimate weapon in a battle of wills. (I’m just doing what’s best for our child!) And at some point, one of you will have a major life issue that costs you everything or close (cancer, financial ruin, miscellaneous crisis), and the other person will have to decide to commit to or not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s not a question of whether each of these things will happen; it’s a question of when. And if you do decide to spend a life with someone, you have to decide that you are willing to face all of these things and acknowledge that some of them could happen sooner than you expect.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are too important to learn how to face those issues at the last minute. You have to go through a few of them to know how to properly conduct one. You have to fail. You have to date a few terrible people. You have to be the asshole yourself sometimes. You have to learn how not to be the asshole. You have to spend tons of time together — so much time that sometimes you feel indistinguishable from each other and you find that both reassuring and disturbing. You have to have a vicious fight and know it’s not ending you and that you’re going to have to work to repair it and that the effort is worthwhile. These things take time.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m not suggesting, mind you, that you settle down in your twenties. I don’t envision you in a ranch home in the suburbs at twenty-six, feeding your toddlers Cheerios and pureed organic carrots and carting them to and from soccer practice in the family.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m just saying that it’s worth it to look at your romantic relationships nakedly. (Metaphorically, not literally. Unless that’s your thing — in which case, contemplate in the nude as much as you want.) Work at a relationship the way you work at your work. Spend the time. Make the effort.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You need the practice. You need to learn. Some of you can wait another ten or twenty years to do that. And some of you may be the rare bachelors and bachelorettes who have no intention of ever being in a serious committed relationship ever. But not most of you, especially if you’re envisioning a spouse and kids sometime before you can start collecting social security. You need time — and lots of it.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And you need to remember that work is not everything. I met my fiancé at work, which is not a way that Detached Professional Me would ever advise anyone to go about meeting people. Under the circumstances, we had to decide fairly quickly whether we were willing to get fired.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What was more important: the job or the relationship? We picked the latter. Fortunately, nobody got fired. But if I had been sent packing, I wouldn't regret it. Jobs are replaceable. People you truly love are not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I think it’s fair to say — with no scientific evidence — that deathbed wishes rarely include, “If only I had put another twenty hours a week in at the office! That slightly cleaner product release would have made all the difference.” But that guy, that girl? You might regret that.</div> <br /> <a name='more'></a></div>

Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that...

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Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s1600/download+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s320/download+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children — especially if you’re a female entrepreneur?</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It makes sense, right? This is the only time in your life when you have no ties, no mortgage, no kids to support. This is the only time you can really do something ambitious, if you’re being practical.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let’s face it, you’re not ready anyway. You’re busy building your company, figuring out who you are, what you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And everyone around you agrees. Everyone!<br /> Now is the time to live ! (By which you mean building the next change-the-world company, of course.) You’ve moved to New York. Or San Francisco. Or Palo Alto. Or Boston. With the express purpose of building something.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a noble cause. There is nothing more professionally satisfying as building something. Something you love. Something you can “get behind.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But…<br /> There was this girl. This guy.<br /> Eh, fuck it. You’re busy. You have more important things to do. Changing the world is a full-time job and if you don’t do it now, when will you?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s the thing: I know you. You’re probably one of the many people I’ve mentored or hired. On multiple occasions, you’ve explained to me (as if I were your batty old aunt, but I’m not taking it personally) that you have no time to get to know anyone because you’re busy doing your work.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a complete fallacy. Work and relationships are not incompatible. (Ask Mark Zuckerberg.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’ll wager that there is something about big transient cities that distorts everyone’s sense of time. You become convinced that you have time for everything you find challenging, that your ultimate horizon is infinite. This is only the beginning for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But you don’t know how much time you have. And even if things go well for you, your time is finite. You can’t figure out your professional life now and your personal life later. (Unless you’re the rare thirteen-year-old entrepreneur, in which case, I might demur.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And here is why: As with coding and management and matters of finance and marketing, relationships have a learning curve. You learn the basics of “relationshiptiva” (note to copyed: yes, I made up that word): How to deal with sexual etiquette, mundane everyday things, scheduling, and appropriate meetings with close friends, and some equitable plan for who’s supposed to pay for dinner or wash the dishesthis time. These are basics. And if you’re learning them in your thirties, it’s going to be much harder.<br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because in a few years, however young you think yourself (how old is thirty, really?), you will be approaching midlife and you won’t be as adaptable as you once were. There are reasons for this, many of which are biological. Your body won’t respond the same way. You’ll have knee problems that didn’t exist when you were running sophomore track. You can’t stay out till 4:00 a.m. anymore, because now the same alcohol intake has somehow resulted in a hangover that’s a multiple of what it once was — and you will never ever have appreciated a nice soft pillow more. And if you think you can fend these things off with diet and exercise, you should probably buy a good solid book on the aging process or find a professional athlete over the age of thirty to talk to. They will speak of massage therapists and bone density and necessary nutritional supplements. You can mitigate these things, but you can’t entirely avoid them.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But that is not the point. The point is that thirty (or thirty-two, or thirty-five) is not the age when you want to be practicing serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You have to get beyond the basics  - the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You have to figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts (if you can — some are impossible), and how to deal with the inevitabilities that come your way.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And those inevitabilities are myriad: At some point, you and your partner will go through a period of disillusionment when someone else turns your head or your partner’s. Maybe you have an affair, maybe you don’t. At some point, one of you will have significantly more career success than the other. This will become a point of tension. As will the disparity in income that usually accompanies it. At some point, you will disagree on how to raise your child and you will each wield the child as the ultimate weapon in a battle of wills. (I’m just doing what’s best for our child!) And at some point, one of you will have a major life issue that costs you everything or close (cancer, financial ruin, miscellaneous crisis), and the other person will have to decide to commit to or not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s not a question of whether each of these things will happen; it’s a question of when. And if you do decide to spend a life with someone, you have to decide that you are willing to face all of these things and acknowledge that some of them could happen sooner than you expect.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are too important to learn how to face those issues at the last minute. You have to go through a few of them to know how to properly conduct one. You have to fail. You have to date a few terrible people. You have to be the asshole yourself sometimes. You have to learn how not to be the asshole. You have to spend tons of time together — so much time that sometimes you feel indistinguishable from each other and you find that both reassuring and disturbing. You have to have a vicious fight and know it’s not ending you and that you’re going to have to work to repair it and that the effort is worthwhile. These things take time.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m not suggesting, mind you, that you settle down in your twenties. I don’t envision you in a ranch home in the suburbs at twenty-six, feeding your toddlers Cheerios and pureed organic carrots and carting them to and from soccer practice in the family.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m just saying that it’s worth it to look at your romantic relationships nakedly. (Metaphorically, not literally. Unless that’s your thing — in which case, contemplate in the nude as much as you want.) Work at a relationship the way you work at your work. Spend the time. Make the effort.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You need the practice. You need to learn. Some of you can wait another ten or twenty years to do that. And some of you may be the rare bachelors and bachelorettes who have no intention of ever being in a serious committed relationship ever. But not most of you, especially if you’re envisioning a spouse and kids sometime before you can start collecting social security. You need time — and lots of it.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And you need to remember that work is not everything. I met my fiancé at work, which is not a way that Detached Professional Me would ever advise anyone to go about meeting people. Under the circumstances, we had to decide fairly quickly whether we were willing to get fired.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What was more important: the job or the relationship? We picked the latter. Fortunately, nobody got fired. But if I had been sent packing, I wouldn't regret it. Jobs are replaceable. People you truly love are not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I think it’s fair to say — with no scientific evidence — that deathbed wishes rarely include, “If only I had put another twenty hours a week in at the office! That slightly cleaner product release would have made all the difference.” But that guy, that girl? You might regret that.</div> <br /> <a name='more'></a></div>

Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that...

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Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel

<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <img alt="why travel is good for your mental health Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel " border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="735" height="740" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisAojHT3DVyrv8Z6wbHA5apb0QHxhYKBnyz2nMOEOag4QsVQ_LusWBz92LGoTxt6h9Ck8_GdxCtkYy3nfMACJ6261U2CBMd4kPQHRmbUh63VZzb0uThXnUJhmJFbREM_OMxEchojva7BU/s1600/why+travel+is+good+for+your+mental+health.png" title="Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel " width="412" /></div> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Everyday we get so caught up in our jobs, in the pressure to be the best, to succeed in life and get ahead of the crowd, that we forget to look after our own mental health. Life is full of stress from relationships, friendships, family, studies, work, money and so much more. Traveling is a huge stress relief and this is why travel is good for your mental health.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Our mental health falls behind so easily and we forget to put ourselves first quite often. Your Mental health is just as important as your physical health, yet many of us tend to forget to look after our mental health. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">If you've been working extremely hard with no holidays or breaks, then it's time you took some time off for yourself to recharge and improve your mental health.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I get stressed out about not being high enough on the career ladder by a certain age, even though I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with my life. I worry about not succeeding enough in life, even though I'm not sure what direction I'm heading in.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I've realised recently that I need to take a break from everything and see the world. I need to explore different cities and cultures. I need to find myself. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Travelling can open so many doors and you need to escape the stress and pressure of work and life and travel to clear your mind and get a better picture of what you're doing with your life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 36px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">7 Reasons Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health:</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1. Travelling Helps You Find Yourself</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, and if you're reading this then you're probably not entirely sure what to do with your life either. I have a few different interests, but I can't pinpoint one thing that I'm 100% sure I want to do for the rest of my life. Now that I'm young and don't have many important responsibilities, I'm planning to travel for at least a couple of months, just to get away from everything and clear my mind. Travelling helps you to discover the things you love and the things you don't love. Travelling allows you to try new things and explore new hobbies that you might not have know existed before. Travelling gives you the opportunity to find yourself and discover your true passion in life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2. Travel Lets You Escape The Stress Of Life</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Travelling is a literal 'escape' from the stresses of everyday life. Travelling lets you pack a bag and leave your problems behind for a while and destress. You can pick up all the interesting things you once wanted to do, but forgot about due to work and everyday life. Travelling lets you take a break from life and relax your mind and body and recharge to improve your mental health. You'll feel a lot happier by exploring, traveling and allowing yourself to be free. Travel is a great stress relief.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3. Travelling Gives You Independence</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You might feel like you rely on certain people or things in your everyday life but travelling helps you to mature and grow as a person and find your own independence. You'll face challenges that you'll overcome on your own and you'll be able to navigate through new countries and locations. It will give you a great sense of freedom and you won't feel like you have to rely on people or things anymore. This will lead to you being strong emotionally and having more resilient mental health.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4. It Will Open Up Your Mind To The Bigger Picture</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">When our mental health takes a toll, it can feel like all that exists is this little life you're in that is consumed by working and just getting by. There's a whole big world out there waiting to be discovered and just by getting out of your own life and city, you'll realise there are so many possibilities out there and you can literally be or do anything you want.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>5. It Will Get You Out Of Your Comfort Zone</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, you'll understand how easy it is to just stay in your own little comfort zone. Whether it's your house or your bedroom, sometimes you just want to stick to what you know and not venture out of your comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone is one of the worst things you can do for your mental health and you will overcome so many mental struggles by putting yourself out there and pushing yourself to your limits. Travelling will open so many doors for you and it is one of the best ways to permanently get you out of your comfort zone.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>6. You'll Meet Amazing New People</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you go traveling and stay in a hostel, you're guaranteed to meet new people from loads of different countries and possibly makes tonnes of great new friends. You'll make new connections who you can visit if you ever travel to their home country and everyone you meet will be eager to meet new people too. If your mental health has stopped you from making friends in the past, then travelling will help you to develop great interpersonal skills and communication skills and it will make you more confident as a person.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 32px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>7. Travelling Makes You Happier</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Every time I come back from a trip, I feel a million times happier than when I left. I feel like I'm not stuck in my surroundings anymore and I can jump on a plane and discover somewhere new anytime I like. My happiness and mental health is boosted after travelling and I feel a great sense of joy and positivity in life. The not knowing what you're going to discover, the freedom of going anywhere you want. Travelling makes me so much happier as a person and really opens my mind to so many opportunities. If you're affected my seasonal affective disorder (SAD), then travelling in the winter can really lift your mood and improve your mental health and make you happier.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Travelling has so many positive affects on your body and health and whether you want to travel alone, with a friend or family or with your partner, you should start planning your trip now and get excited about enhancing your life and your mental health through travel.</span><br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Pin it for later:</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <img alt="why travel is good for your mental health Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel " border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-VngkEnrhTadExx29ZXz_D9EFBtY5moDc9B5hF88QeIDR1DDO69jSjoyMYMQnNltH1DfBga7c7nuKN4vAMrN8WGG8B33CQoTUwQYdGAKLiYlzsUfleTzKdGkdvptBRe4xFEj0_VUaUp4/s1600/why+travel+is+good+for+your+mental+health.png" title="Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel " width="312" /></div> </div>

Why Travel Is Good For Your Mental Health | 7 Reasons To Travel

Everyday we get so caught up in our jobs, in the pressure to be the best, to succeed in life and get ahead of the crowd, that we forget...

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The Impact Of Words On Your Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-QeJj3TbxtY6L6Ny4nAa2iLA3rqMihk7Ua5qpKXWnc4dnyvkYMb0aolAZNRpSxDK9Oert8ffxjbMqh7ZvZPHGR-kS0mZsOVaTnowmt1e-8QE-A4Rclnd-a9z7v8ohSw09Me2wbDnjY8U/s1600/coupledating.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-QeJj3TbxtY6L6Ny4nAa2iLA3rqMihk7Ua5qpKXWnc4dnyvkYMb0aolAZNRpSxDK9Oert8ffxjbMqh7ZvZPHGR-kS0mZsOVaTnowmt1e-8QE-A4Rclnd-a9z7v8ohSw09Me2wbDnjY8U/s1600/coupledating.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Words can build and words can break. Over the years man has come to know the importance of words and the effects it can create in the lives of individuals. In every one’s life, one can attribute the level of success or failure that one has seen to the kind of words that he/she has received in the cause of his/her life. Whether the word spurred him on to do things that brought him to a point of success or whether the words contributed to the failure that he has experienced. That’s to show you the power of words and the effects it can have on someone’s live.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I have seen people because they constantly heard that they will never be anything in life grew up to believe and accept the fact that they will never achieve great success in their lives, so they have come to a point in their life where they see anything that happens to them as a natural cause of his destiny, that is to show you once again what words can do to a man’s life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In this same way, the words that you use constantly in your relationship will either build your relationship or break your relationship. Very few people know about this, that’s why they seem not to know what the cause of the break ups they constantly have in their love life. If you want your relationship to grow and flourish, you need to make sure that you say words that build each other in every way possible. Just a simple word that you think wouldn’t mean anything can ruin the relationship you have been building for a long time. So you need to make sure that the words that normally come out of your mouth to your partner are words that will build the person and not words that will literally kill the person.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are people that their tongue is a time bomb in disguise, they say anything that comes to mind without a second thought, and they wonder why they never get to last long in any relationship they get into.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Use Words to Show That You Care</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Like most couples say in a relationship, ‘My boyfriend knows that I love him, I don’t have to tell him, he already knows that’ or my girlfriend knows that I love her, I don’t have to tell her, she already knows that’. It doesn’t matter if they know that you love them, you have to learn how to express it in your words, and you have to do it often. When you tell your spouse or your partner that you love them you create in them a sense of certainty that your love for them is unending, and they are confident that their relationship with you will only make them happy. There are people who will say that, ‘My boyfriend tells me that he loves me but he never shows that he loves me. I know that might make you feel bad, but the more he tells you that he loves, the more he starts having the consciousness that he has to start doing things that will prove that he loves you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Saying words that shows that you care about your partner will strengthen the bond that you have with your partner. Words that will make them happy, words that will make them feel loved, words that will build them up emotionally and not words that will rather tear them down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Use Words That Build</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Few years ago, I had a small get together party in my house where my friends came over to have a nice time. It was a party for my friends and family that I usually have once in a year, this is where we come together to talk about how the year has been and the things that we are expecting to achieve the coming year and what we want to have in the coming year.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> During one of these parties, a friend of my came with his son and while the party was going on, the little boy who was about 8 years of age was somewhere in the corner of the house unhappy and sad, nobody noticed him and no one paid attention to him, but my mum, being an elderly woman noticed him and went straight up to him and asked him quietly what the kasus was, and the young man told my mum that he was constantly ridiculed that he has the nose of a monkey.<br />Because of that single comment, he has been unhappy for weeks now and unable to perform at his highest level. My mum told him that he has the best nose in the world and that he should be proud of it, after hearing that, his mood was changed and he came out dancing and eating everything that he could lay his hands on. Few days later his dad called to ask me what happened, that his son has changed since they came to my house for that party, that his always happy now and always looking alive and he has also improved in his academic pursuit.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just few days ago, I saw this little boy, but now he is no longer a little boy, he is now grown and mature, and he told me, that single word that my mum told him years back then has made his life what is it now, and with what I saw, I was happy because he is doing very well.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So it is also in relationships too, you should constantly say words that will empower your partner, words that will build and lift their spirits. Words like ‘You are the best thing that has ever happened to me’, ‘you are the best in the world’, ‘you are beautiful or you are handsome’, and so forth. Saying these different words will empower your partner positively and that will make your relationship stronger.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Have Word Sessions</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Find a time during your week or days when you just say nice words to each other, even though if it is for just 10 minutes, make out the time to do this and you will be amazed at what this singular act will do to your relationship.<br />I always have word sessions with my partner; we make out time every week where we tell each other the good things that we know and feel about each other. These word sessions that I have with my partner lasts from 30-60 minutes and the results that we get from these word sessions never ceases to amaze me and my partner. Even when we are having challenges, we never miss this time together, and the miracle it does is that in that challenging moment we find out that we just overcome whatever challenge that we were facing before.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Communication and Words</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You can’t have a solid word session if you don’t communicate very well with your partner. Communication is very vital in any relationship and if that aspect of a relationship is missing, then no matter what you do, it never workout. If you to know the good qualities of your partner, you ought to know many things about your partner and that can only happen if you have regular communication with your partner. Have quality communication with your partner so that you will have what to say during your word sessions.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Take it Back</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Now that you are trying as much as possible to make sure that you use only the right words in your relationship, there will be times that you might utter words that are not right for your relationship. At that moment, you should immediately apologize for every negative word that you uttered to your spouse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You can say ‘I am sorry for using that word, I know I shouldn’t use it and I have realized that it will not build our relationship and I promise not to use it again’. Saying something like that will awaken you to the fact that you should be careful of the words that you use.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you don’t know or think that words have a big role to play in your relationship, then you have to know that from now and start working towards making every word that comes out of your mouth “ear worthy”, that means every word that should come out of your mouth should be words that will take your relationship to a higher level.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I really appreciate for the time you spent to read this article, and I believe that it will help you build the kind of relationship that you desire to have. Thank you and keep saying the right words always.</div> </div>

The Impact Of Words On Your Relationship

Words can build and words can break. Over the years man has come to know the importance of words and the effects it can create in the li...

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17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> 17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Fotolia_53954545_S-750x500.jpg" width="640" /></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <strong>Life coach, Mark Chernoff, breaks down some important life truths that can shape how children view themselves and their place in the world.  Parents, no matter how old your child (or adult child), it’s never too late to help them integrate these lessons.</strong></div> Our children grow up so fast.  Before we know it they’re out there somewhere in the real world, and we’re left hoping that we’ve done enough to prepare them for everything they’ll encounter.  Angel and I talk to course students and coaching clients on a regular basis – mothers and fathers alike – who share these sentiments.  They worry about their children.  They wonder if they’ve done a good enough job parenting up to this point.  And Angel and I totally get it too.  Oftentimes we feel the same way.  We’re concerned about our son Mac’s well-being and education, and we discuss it frequently, just like most parents.<br /> In fact, from what we’ve researched and studied, the well-being and education of their children is more important to most parents than just about anything else – health care, cost of living, public safety, and even their own well-being.  And believe it or not, most non-parents also say they’re concerned about the well-being and intellectual growth of society’s youth; this concern seems to cut cleanly across gender, ethnicity, age, income and political affiliation.  So the reality is, to a great extent, we all collectively care about our children.   And that’s a really beautiful thing when you think about it.<br /> Anyway, I awoke this morning thinking about all of this – especially the miraculous, life-changing responsibility of parenthood – and two related thoughts immediately crossed my mind:<br /> <ul> <li>Whoa!  Time flies.  How in the world did Angel and I suddenly become parents to a little boy that’s running all over the place and asking questions about everything under the sun?</li> <li>There are so many important truths I want to share with Mac… as soon as feasibly possible.</li> </ul> So I’m writing this post as a reminder to myself, and to all parents…<span id="more-4358"></span><br /> Here are 20 simple yet powerful truths you can add to your daily conversations with your child that will gradually change how they think about themselves and their place in the world, and ultimately transform how they live their life.  Please remember, also, that it’s never too late to discuss these truths – in most cases they are equally relevant to youngsters, adolescents, and adult children alike.<br /> <ol> <li><strong>Learning how to think is far more useful than learning what to think.</strong> – A big part of your life is a direct result of the decisions you make; if you don’t like your life for some reason, it’s time to start making changes and better decisions.  And the same is true for all of us, including our children.  It’s crucial that our children gradually grow to understand that THEY must learn to make good decisions for themselves, without us.  Parents can only guide by example and put their offspring on the right path, but the final forming of a person’s character and life story lies in their own hands.  You can walk beside your child most of the time, but not in their shoes.  And someday, when you’re not around, they’ll come to a fork in the road that forces them to think for themselves.  Which is why it’s important to teach your child how to think, not what to think.  (The remaining points in this article will help you do just that.)</li> <li><strong>Everything is hard before it’s easy, and we get stronger as we go.</strong> – One of the best things you can do for your child as they grow is to let go and allow them to do things for themselves, all<img alt="" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-10408" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fotolia_93394019_S.jpg 849w" width="300" />ow them to be strong and responsible, allow them the freedom to experience things on their own terms, allow them to take the bus or the train and learn from life firsthand – allow them to be better people, allow them to believe more in themselves and do more by themselves.  Journeying through life on your own two feet is a learning process – you become stronger as you go.  It’s like a little girl who struggles to find her way home from school without her parent’s help – doing it the first few times is daunting and scary, but in the long run she’s safer and better off having learned the way.</li> <li><strong>The biggest disappointments in life are often the result of misplaced expectations.</strong> – When we are really young our expectations are few, but as we age our expectations tend to balloon with each passing year.  The key is to help your child understand that tempering unrealistic expectations of how something “should be” can greatly reduce unnecessary stress and frustration.  With a positive attitude and an open mind, we often find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than we thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way we had anticipated, and don’t always occur when we expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing – it makes life interesting, if we’re willing to see it that way.</li> <li><strong>Worry is the cruelest enemy of personal growth.</strong> – Worrying does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all.  When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  And, as every child knows deep down, there are much better ways to use an imagination.  Do your best to remind them of this.</li> <li><strong>Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.</strong> – If you want to be effective in life, you can’t base your attitude on how things are.  Instead, you have to choose your attitude so it supports and expresses the way you wish to be.  It’s not about expecting the best to always happen, but instead accepting whatever happens and then making the very best of it.  Truly, most of our long-tern frustration and stress comes from the way we respond and react to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.  Learn to adjust your attitude, and all that extra frustration and stress is gone.  Practice this in your own life, so your child can witness the results firsthand.</li> <li><strong>Reflecting on what we’re grateful for makes us happier and healthier.</strong> – In <em>1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently,</em> Angel and I discuss the powerful benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.  And the really good news is it works for children too.  In one celebrated example, Dr. Robert Emmons, of UC Davis, asked teenage students to keep a gratitude journal – over ten weeks, the young undergrads listed five things that had happened in the past week which they were grateful for.  The results were astoundingly powerful – the students who kept the gratitude journal were up to 25% happier, more optimistic about their future, and got sick less often during the controlled study.  They even got more exercise than usual.  The bottom line is that children who keep a gratitude journal are statistically happier, more optimistic, and healthier.  As soon as your child is old enough, help them start one.</li> <li><strong>The lifelong pursuit of happiness is about finding meaning.</strong> – Pursuing happiness is not <img alt="" class="alignright size-full wp-image-9811" height="266" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373.jpg 400w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Fotolia_37190292_S-e1494606571373-350x234.jpg 350w" width="400" />at all the same as feeling happy, which is a fleeting emotion dependent on momentary circumstances.  This is something that tends to confuse us when we’re young.  Happy moments feel great and are often fun-filled – if the sun is shining, by all means we should bask in it.  But happy moments always pass, because time passes.  The lifelong pursuit of happiness, on the other hand, is far more elusive; it’s not based on a particular momentary circumstance.  What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing every day?)  When your “why” has significance, you are living your life on your own terms, which makes the inevitable obstacles that arise on your path that much easier and more fulfilling to overcome.  In essence, you are putting forth effort and pushing forward because doing so brings meaning into your life.  (Do your best to help your child find their “why,” and let them know that it’s OK if it changes over time.)</li> <li><strong>The right journey is the destination.</strong> – The most prolific and beneficial experience is not in actually achieving something you want, but in seeking it.  It’s the journey towards an endless horizon that matters – goals that move forward with you as you chase them.  It’s all about meaningful pursuits – the “moving” – and what you learn along the way.  Truly, the most important reason for moving from one place to another is to see what’s in between.  In between is where passions are realized, love is found, strength is gained, and memories are made.  You can’t get any of that without firsthand living.  In other words, the right journey is the destination.  Remember this truth, live by it… set an example for your child.</li> <li><strong>The most effective way to move away from something you don’t want, is to move toward something you DO want.</strong> – “Don’t think about eating that chocolate donut!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate donut, right?  When we focus on not doing something, we end up thinking more about it.  The same philosophy holds true in all walks of life, regardless of our age.  By persistently trying to move away from what we don’t want, we are inadvertently forced to think about it so much that we end up carrying it’s weight along with us.  But if we instead choose to focus our energy on moving toward something we DO want, we naturally leave the negative weight behind as we move forward with our lives.</li> <li><strong>Actions always speak 100% louder than words.</strong> – Children have never been perfect at listening to their parents, but they have never failed to imitate them.  Keep this in mind.  Let your children watch you set an example every day in all that you do, and then reinforce your actions with verbal guidance.  Ultimately, all of us – young and old alike – need to remember that what we really want in life comes from what we really do in life.</li> <li><strong>The willingness to do hard things opens significant doors of opportunity.</strong> – One of the most important abilities you can help a child develop in life is being OK with some level of discomfort.  Because the best things are often hard to come by, and if you shy away from difficulty and discomfort, you’ll miss out on them.  Mastering a new skill is hard.  Building a business is hard.  Writing a book is hard.  A marriage is hard.  Parenting is hard.  Staying in shape is hard.  All are amazing and worth every bit of effort you can muster.  If you get good at doing hard things, you can do almost anything you put your mind to.</li> <li><strong>Uncertainty is inevitable and must be embraced to achieve anything worthwhile.</strong> – When we act with some level of uncertainty, this uncertainty often chases us out into the open where opportunity awaits.  Thus, learning to embrace uncertainty relatively early in life is a must.  Because if we need to know exactly how every little thing will turn out, we’ll avoid many life-changing projects, career moves, relationships, etc.  Starting a business, for example, could be a very worthwhile thing to do, but if you’re scared of uncertainty you’ll skip it.  Continually cowering in the face of uncertainty like this means you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this unknowing will be worse than finding out your hunch was wrong.  For if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life without ever looking back and wondering what might have been.</li> <li><strong>Lack of effort holds more people back than intelligence ever could.</strong> – It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without putting forth diligent effort.  There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless to a person who’s unwilling to put in the effort and take action.  Remember this, and do your best to praise your child for their effort, not their intelligence.  When you praise your child’s efforts you are bringing attention to something they CAN control – the amount of time and energy they put into their work.  This is immensely important because it teaches them to persist, and that progress through hard work is possible.  They come to see themselves as “in control” of their success in life.  Conversely, emphasizing God-given intelligence takes progress out of your child’s control, and it provides no good formula for responding to failure.  In turn, your child may begin to think that innate intelligence is always going to be a missing element for them, and thus disregard the importance of their effort to learn and grow.</li> <li><strong>Not everything will go as planned, but we can still be prepared.</strong> – For every youngster that succeeds in doing exactly what they set out to do in the exact time frame they set out to do it in, there are dozens of others who start strong and get derailed.  Help your child understand that if this happens to them, it isn’t a bad thing.  Unexpected obstacles may come along to shift their perspective, to strengthen their resolve, or to change their direction for the better.  And the destination they fall in love with someday may not even exist now.  For example, just a few short years ago the esteemed career paths of working at Facebook and Snapchat didn’t exist.  Neither did the job of professional coach and writer at Marc and Angel Hack Life.  So if a child can’t plan out their future in its entirety, what should they do?  Focus a little less on the future and focus more on what they can do now that will benefit them no matter what the future brings.  Read inspiring books.  Write.  Learn and practice useful skills.  Build things.  Be adventurous and seek real-world experiences.  Help people.  Cultivate healthy relationships.  These efforts will assist in any future circumstances that come their way.</li> <li><strong>Incredible distance can be covered over time with tiny steps.</strong> – Most people fritter their free time away on things that don’t matter, like TV, video games, social media, etc.  A year of that and you have absolutely zero to show for it.  But if you painted every day, or practiced your web design skills, or wrot<img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-10647 alignleft" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Fotolia_142119393_XS.jpg 424w" width="300" />e on a blog, or updated and perfected a video channel on YouTube, or started building a side business/passion project, or spent more time networking with the right people… at the end of a year you’ll have built something interesting.  And you’ll have some great life experiences too – experiences you can point to and say, “I built that, and I learned this,” which, sadly, many people can’t do.  Also, it’s important to mention that although it may seem easier for younger people to do these things, it’s 100% possible for all of us to take tiny steps in the right direction, day in and day out, for the rest of our lives.</li> <li><strong>Goals don’t make positive changes happen, rituals do.</strong> – What’s the difference between goals and rituals?  As a parent, your goal is to be a great role model, while your ritual is the time and energy you commit to setting a great example for your child each day.  If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to grow a successful business, while your ritual is your daily work ethic combined with your management, marketing and sales processes.  If you’re a fiction writer, your goal is to write a novel, while your ritual is the writing schedule you follow each day.  Now think about this:  If you ignored your goals for a while and focused solely on your rituals, would you still get positive results?  For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you ignored your goal to lose 20 pounds, and instead focused only on eating healthy and exercising each day, would you still get results?  Yes, you would.  Gradually, you would get closer and closer to your goal without even thinking about it again.  The earlier we learn this in life, the longer we have to make our positive daily rituals work in our favor.  But it’s never too late either.  <em>(Angel and I build tiny, daily, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)</em></li> <li><strong>Trustworthiness is the foundation of progress.</strong> – The underlying key, for all of us, is to be trustworthy in our relationships.  When someone gives someone an employment or business opportunity, the biggest fear is that this person is not trustworthy – that they’ll slack off and try to cheat the system.  Someone who has established a positive reputation over the years will likely be more trusted, and more likely to be recommended.  So do you best to teach you child to be trustworthy by being honest, admitting mistakes and fixing them, and generally going above and beyond the call of duty in all personal and professional relationships.  When we adhere to this philosophy, we end up building a good reputation and people appreciate and endorse us more openly, which is the best way to get a job, a business investor, or another good friend.</li> </ol> </section></div>

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17 Must-Have Conversations with Your Child Life coach, Mark Chernoff, breaks down some important life truths that can shape how chil...

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