Relationships and Love: Search results for Love And Relationship Counseling

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

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Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know</h1>
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Fresh
 off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in Washington 
DC, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop with John Gottman.  Dr. 
Gottman is a dominant figure on the relationship research and couples 
therapy scene since the mid 80’s, when he began observing couples 
fighting in his “original couples laboratory,” dubbed the Love Lab.  His
 findings provided some of the scientific underpinnings of what we know 
about what maintains and erodes intimate relationships.</div>
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</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">The Love Lab has been given new life and a new name; the Gottman Love Lab Experience is
 now being offered as “the world’s first science-based relationship 
evaluation service,” measuring three primary important areas of your 
relationship; friendship, conflict and shared meaning.<br />
Along with 
this cutting edge assessment opportunity for couples who are able to 
make it to Seattle, Washington, he is also offering therapists a new 
online tool, the Gottman Relationship Checkup, providing the ability to 
receive a score reviewing couples strengths and vulnerabilities, with 
feedback for possible treatment suggestions.<br />
From a recent study 
Dr. Gottman conducted of 40,000 Relationship Checkup participants, he 
has new data.  I compiled some relationship research nuggets on 
heterosexual couples from his presentation.  You might find some of the 
results surprising!<br />
<strong>For how many couples in therapy is at least one partner considering an exit?</strong>   66%<br />
82% of couples are having problems with <strong>loneliness in the relationship</strong><br />
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<a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-11014" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS.jpg 424w" width="300" /></a></div>
<strong>What About Problems with Intimacy and Sex?</strong><br />
Romance 83%<br />
Sex Quality 55%<br />
Sex Frequency 49%<br />
<strong>How many partners had problems with trust?</strong>   66%<br />
<br />
<strong>The Top 3 Things Couples Fight About</strong><br />
86% Not having fun anymore<br />
76% Finances<br />
74% No emotional connection<br />
Speaking
 of conflict, the biggest obstacle to productively navigating conflict 
in relationships is flooding.  This means the heart gets to 100 beats 
per minute which makes it nearly impossible to communicate from a calm, 
grounded place as your physiology will get the best of you.  In fact, 
when flooded, communication can be erratic, irrational and possibly 
damaging to the relationship.  The antidote is self-soothing or helping 
each other soothe, if possible.  Sometimes leaving the situation (in a 
structured time out) is the best thing a couple can do for a 
relationship.<br />
<strong>96% of couples are flooded during conflict</strong><br />
Though
 I didn’t catch all of the numbers Dr. Gottman shared at his 
presentation, particularly the gay and lesbian stats, what I did notice 
was a trend demonstrating that compared to heterosexual couples, they 
did a much better job with conflict and communication.<br />
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<strong><em>“As far as interaction, gay and lesbian couples really have a lot to teach heterosexual couples.” </em></strong></div>
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– John Gottman</div>
Something
 to think about.  I will leave you with one more nugget and it’s an 
important one to consider for those who are struggling in married or 
long term relationships:  The #1 predictor of divorce is contempt.  If 
you are calling your partner names, assassinating their character or 
hitting below the belt in other ways…and you would like to save your 
relationship, please seek counseling for help.</section></div>

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know Fresh off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Sympos...

Twelve Things You Need To Do If You Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> <img alt=" your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war Twelve things you need to do if you have been in an abusive relationship" height="345" src="https://i2.wp.com/www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/shutterstock_395227735.jpg?fit=1000,541" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> An abusive relationship destroys you; your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war. A person is very vulnerable when they come out of such a relationship. They have been hurt way too many times to be able to put themselves back together again on their own. You will need help from people who love you and care for you. You will have to learn to trust and open up to people, all over again, just as you did when you were a toddler.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> The journey to self-healing is hard and long, it takes a person time to be able to find their true identity. They lose their spirituality after they have been in an abusive relationship. Abuse takes away your light bit by bit; darkness consumes you to a point of dismay. The most dangerous thing a human can lose is hope. When we lose hope, the world feels pointless and you let your self drown in a sea of self-loathe. You consider yourself responsible for things you had no control over. This is exactly what happens in an abusive relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You lose interest in yourself and life to a point that you don’t want to live anymore. Why aren’t there stress berat centers for people who have been in such relationships? I have broken many bones but believe me; mental abuse hurts a lot more than physical abuse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> The struggle to leave such a relationship is your last try to stop yourself from drowning in to the pit of never-ending despair. There isn’t much of a fight left in you after that. If you are lucky, the abuser let go of you! It might hurt initially but trust me, it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.</div> <ol style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 26px 24px; padding: 0px;"> <li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: inherit; font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Call your family</strong></h3> </li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> No matter how distant you are from them, family will always be there for your. Call your parents and tell them to take you away, ask them if they would let you spend a month with them. This time will put you back together again; it will remind you of all the beautiful moments you once spent with them. Remembrance of love and care will work wonders on your broken soul.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Reach out to your friends</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Your friends will help you connect with the outer world again. You will smile and laugh in their presence, something you haven’t been able to do since ages. They will make you feel that there is more to life than a havoc-wreaking relationship! Friends are the most beautiful creatures on earth, they are not your family by blood they are your family by soul. Your friends will heal your soul and you will feel the difference.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. Get a Job</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> No, it’s never too late to get a job, get a job right away even if it’s a small one, you will not be able to put yourself together again unless your are completely independent. Financial stability will make you feel more confident than ever, you don’t need a human to support your existence. You are strong enough to support yourself.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Get Counseling</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You might keep telling yourself that you don’t need any additional help, but if you have been abused to an extent that you lost the ability to care for yourself, get help right away. Depending on your condition, the counselor might recommend medication or meditation.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. Get a pet</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You need to start trusting and caring for people again and the best way you can do that is by getting yourself a pet. Remember, a pet is a huge responsibility and you need to care for it just as you want to be cared for yourself. I would suggest a cat, cats are great for people with depression, caressing and brushing your cat will help you unwind and relax.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Get your own place</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Get your own place somewhere near your parent’s house or, if you cannot afford one with your own pay, ask them if they will let you rent the room you live in. You need to know that you will now be able to support yourself completely. You don’t need a human to take care of you. </div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Work around the house</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Help your parents with all the chores, not only will they keep you busy but they will also help you get your mind off things. Your parents will appreciate the extra help around the house and it will help you guys bond better. Plus, a sense of accomplishment will really help boost your self-esteem.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Take a vacation</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Go on a vacation, you need to learn to appreciate the beauty of the world on order to help you live once more. The world is waiting to be discovered.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Interact with neighbours</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Go for a walk around the neighbourhood, smile and enjoy life a little, get to know the people who live around you.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Work on yourself</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Save up for some new clothes and a trip to the saloon. Change how you look, wear lipstick and dye your hair. You have no idea how confident you will feel once you look good. People will notice you and it will feel amazing!</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Improve your health</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> Start working out and get back into shape, such a relationship can ruin your physical health, and you need to be able to trust your body again just like you once did.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.1667; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. Put yourself our there</strong></h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> You might want to open up to the idea of dating again. Chances are, you will now be able to be in more stable relationships since you will be able to detect early signs of abuse.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> I hope that you are able to live life to its fullest. May you become a better, stronger person than you ever were!</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 29px; line-height: 1.2069; margin: 1.414em 0px 0.5em; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 0.24s ease-in-out; visibility: visible;"> Talk to me</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: "PT Serif", Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px;"> How did you deal with healing yourself? Let me know in the comments down below!</div> </div>

Twelve Things You Need To Do If You Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship destroys you; your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war. A person is very vulnerable when they come ou...

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #404040; float: left; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="130" src="https://deenaroseministries.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/marriage-logo12.jpg" width="400" /></div> <br /> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respect your husband</strong>.  – </em>Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">earn </em>it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Guard your heart</em>.</strong>  – The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">God, husband, kids…in that order</em>.</strong>  – I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Forgive</em>.</strong>  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Over-communicate</em>.</strong>  – I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Schedule a regular date night</em>.</strong>  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never say the “D Word”</em>.</strong>  – If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Learn his love language</em>.</strong>  – Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" sl-processed="1" style="border: 0px; color: #9c5d5f; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">here</a>.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never talk negatively about him</em>.</strong>  – I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Choose to love</em>.</strong>  – There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.</li> </ol> </div>

10 Mariage Tips Every Wife Need To Learn

Respect your husband . – Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world i...

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://thyblackman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/blackmaneatingfruit.jpg" /></div> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Separate from Mama.</strong> – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust that you and she are a united front. She must not fear that you will go behind her and talk negatively, especially to your mom. When you and your wife speak to your mom, it should be as one flesh, not competing teams. Your mom is usually going to fight in your corner, right or wrong. This will cause serious problems in your marriage. I love my mom and she is precious to me, but YOU leading your family is the best way to gaji her, not the other way around.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Balance the extracurriculars.</strong> – Living life in Sportsman’s Paradise can get busy. Louisiana has everything a man could ever want with regards to the outdoors. My boat and I were closer than my former wife and I at one time. I was perfectly happy leaving her home with the kids to go “tear ‘em up” somewhere in the Lake Pontchartrain waters. The persoalan with this is when it’s done in excess. You really need to take a look at why you fish, hunt, play video games, go to sports bars, etc. Are you doing it because it’s fun or are you getting away from your wife? It’s easy to fall into this trap because it’s easy to justify “harmless” activities. After all, you’re not out drinking all night with other women, so it’s not <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</em> bad. The persoalan is that your absence at home is felt by your wife and the kids. Keep your extracurricular activities in check by communicating about them with your wife. Too much passing the ball or too much running the ball will make it easy for the defense to game plan against your marriage. You need balance!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Kiss <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> first.</strong> – When you see your wife for the first time after a day of work, kiss her first. If you’re coming home from work or a long day out – put your keys down, drop your bag on the floor and lay one on her! There is nothing that makes mamma feel better than knowing you are thinking about her. Hitting the door with the intent to connect with her immediately sets the stage for positive energy throughout the evening and shows the kids that their parents are secure in their relationship.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Boys Night Out” (AKA: Bachelor Parties).</strong> – I mean – C’mon man! There is nothing that kills a good thing with your wife like a “boys night out”. Back in the day, I was a partying force to reckon with. “Boys night out” usually implied alcohol, taxi cabs, strip clubs and vomit. If this is how you roll with the boys, then I suggest you re-examine your priorities. You may not know it, but your wife is probably scared to death the whole time you’re out. If you want to go hang out with your friends, don’t involve excessive booze at nightclubs. Take some responsibility as a husband and make sure your wife approves. A good question to ask yourself is, “If my wife were here, would she be offended?” (This tip goes for the ladies too.)</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Reject Passivity.</strong> – When something is happening that you know isn’t right, step in. Passivity will kill your family’s faith and trust in you in times when circumstances demand your intervention. There were so many times in my first marriage when my passivity ended up defining my role in my home. This can’t happen. Now – rejecting passivity does not mean that you need to be a dictator in your home. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, not like Ike loved Tina!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Your wife did not grow up in your house</strong>. – 6 months after my first marriage began, we were in marriage counseling. I was 100% sure it was all her fault. The counselor listened to each of us plead our cases, and after hearing what I had to say, she got very strong with me in her response. My biggest complaint was “This isn’t the type of environment I grew up with in my house. It’s not the way I do things.” My counselor was quick to point out that my wife did not grow up with me or my family. She was thousands of miles away living a different life and didn’t even know I existed. She said, “How can you possibly expect her to understand ‘how things were in your house’ when you met her only a year ago at the age of 27? And why do you expect her to act like your relatives?” She was right. Far too often we think things will immediately “mesh” and that we’re above the communication problems. Understand that you and your wife are building a <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">new</em> life together, and it will always be in progress.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Own her decisions.</strong> – I admit, being married to my wife is like a spiritual roller coaster. She is plugged in to Jesus! Her extreme spirituality leads her in places that are sometimes not familiar to me. She respects my role as the head of our family and when issues arise that are major, it’s my job to make the selesai decision. (And ladies – before you get up in arms about the “balance of power”, she will be the first to tell you that she prefers it that way. The burden is taken off of her shoulders by allowing me to bear the responsibility of the heavy family issues.)  Even though many of the ideas are not mine, I am the leader of my house and therefore the decisions to take action are<em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> all</em> mine. If decisions like these fail, you should never blame your wife. You should own it and learn from it.</li> </ol> </div>

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

Separate from Mama. – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust ...

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12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

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