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Time to Rethink What Thought You Knew About Romantic Relationships and Affairs

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Time to Rethink What Thought You Knew About Romantic Relationships and Affairs</h1>
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</header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">Esther
 Perel has an unmistakeable presence.  The Belgian speaker, therapist, 
author and TedX sweetheart has been challenging us all, including 
therapists like myself, to rethink our paradigms around romantic 
relationships and infidelity.<br />
Recently at the Psychotherapy 
Networker Symposium in DC, I had the opportunity to hear her speak about
 shifts in romantic relationships and the heart of the matter in modern 
day affairs.<br />
According to Esther, “expectations put on a romantic 
relationship are at an all time high” and mirror cultural shifts that 
have occurred.  There is more ambiguity with roles, social hierarchies 
and prohibitive religious structures are less intact, there is more 
freedom for self expression and happiness seeking for the individual is a
 higher priority.<br />
As we have moved away from community living with
 families and friends nearby, we have less sense of belonging.  “When we
 lived in the village we knew everything about the couple; every fight 
and every fuck,” she said, matter of factly.  As many issues there 
surely were with such intertwined living, now that the pendulum has 
swung to the other side and we now face the public health crisis of 
loneliness.  And couples have become more isolated, often rely on one 
person, each other, to be their trusted confidante, best friend, best 
lover and intellectual equal.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>“Our modern model for modern marriage is that one person will give us what an entire village used to provide.” </em></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
– Esther Perel</div>
This
 is why the pain around infidelity is different today.  This betrayal 
can be incredibly traumatic because it threatens the sense of self, 
challenging the idea that this person was “the one.”  And the digital 
age of social media, texts and emails can feel like “death by a thousand
 cuts” to the one who has been betrayed and has discovered messages and 
other cyber evidence of an affair.<br />
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<a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Fotolia_194581581_XS-300x100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-11046" height="100" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Fotolia_194581581_XS-300x100.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Fotolia_194581581_XS-300x100.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Fotolia_194581581_XS-350x117.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Fotolia_194581581_XS.jpg 600w" width="300" /></a></div>
<strong>What lies at the heart of an affair?</strong><br />
Esther
 reports it’s not usually really about the sex.  In her experience, she 
has found there has been a yearning to bring back some kind of vitality,
 recapture lost parts, an entitlement to seek out desires or simply be 
happier than we are.  Some affairs happen after years of monogamy in a 
relationship where the person never thought they would do such a thing 
but they feel driven to feel special, important, to beat back a sense of
 deadness.  And wanting what you can’t have can also be intoxicating.<br />
She
 touches on the issues that come up around “romantic consumerism,” that 
we now have thousands of people at our fingertips via dating apps and 
online sites.  This raises the question, how will you know when you’ve 
found “the one” with so much choice?<br />
<strong>What can modern couples do differently to preserve their relationships?</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Reconsider the expectations you put on each other.</li>
<li>Rely on friends and family for some of your emotional burdens and need for connection.</li>
<li>Keep
 your relationship dynamic fresh with new experiences, breaking up 
routines and maintaining even a little mystery between each other.</li>
<li>Continue to find ways to make each other feel special and prioritized.</li>
</ul>
Intimate
 relationships, particularly long term, can inherently run into problems
 when the couples focus drifts too far away from the living, breathing 
relationship itself.  Like most plants, it needs attention and water to 
survive.  Yes, the paradigm around romantic relationships has changed 
but this doesn’t need to mean they are all destined for failure.  It’s 
an alert signaling the need for us all to rethink their meaning in the 
context of the world around us as and maybe most importantly, face and 
adapt to our societal issue of loneliness head on.<br />
<br /></section></div>

Time to Rethink What Thought You Knew About Romantic Relationships and Affairs

Time to Rethink What Thought You Knew About Romantic Relationships and Affairs Esther Perel has an unmistakeable presence. T...

5 Tips Of Fifo Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a href="http://uptownmagazine.com/files/2012/02/black-couple-holding-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://uptownmagazine.com/files/2012/02/black-couple-holding-hands.jpg" /></a><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">Working on a Fly in Fly out basis has its rewards but it certainly has its down sides when in comes to building or maintaining a relationship. Relationships can be challenging when you are together on a daily basis, just think about the effort they take if you are apart 2 or more weeks at a time.</span></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Communication</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Communication is a must, although in some cases this can be hard due to the isolated nature of FIFO sites. If you are the partner flying out, make sure that your other half is aware of your dates. When are you coming, when are you going. You could mark up a calendar with your fly in and out dates, so you can plan ahead.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Daily communication may not be possible. If that is the case then let your partner know, so they don’t go through emotional turmoil thinking about what may have happened. You may want to set up certain times and days for your contact, that way your partner at home can plan around it as well. If phones don’t work, emails may still be an option.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> For those of you that are the stay home partner, make sue you are available to your partner. It can get very isolated on work sites, it is great to hear from loved ones at home.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Regularly check in with each other to see how you are going with this lifestyle. Depression is a big issue in FIFO world, and a lot of the time it comes down to trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Planning ahead</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Do this together, this can’t be one sided. Plan for the next R&R. What are you going to do? Travel? Catch up with others? Visit that awesome restaurant? Catch up on movies?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Your stay at home partner may have a day job, so they may need to get days off if you want to go away. Or change their routine if their work hours are flexible to get more time with you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Talk about your priorities on how time will be spent. Make sure that each of you know who is doing what around the house when you are both home. Build a support network of friends, family and even paid help if required to support your plans.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Planning ahead gives both of you something to look forward to, but don’t try to fit everything into one R&R.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Set goals</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> FIFO can give many opportunities, but has its drawbacks, so set some goals. How long do you want to be working FIFO for? What do you want to achieve in that time? Work on it together.  Write it down even, then set the steps in place to make your goals happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Ensure you are both on board with what you want to achieve. And keep re-evaluating whether you are on track, whether the goal is still the one you want to achieve, whether the lifestyle to support the goal is still the best way to go about it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. Intimacy</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t forget intimacy! The pressure to squeeze all the loving into a week can be much, especially with all other things going on. Sex and intimacy is a big thing in any relationship, it is somewhat magnified in FIFO.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You could actually create some intimacy with flirting while you are apart, wither through raunchy messages or phone calls. Although some people are not comfortable with that. And when you are together you could include sensual massages, date nights, time together re-connecting. Sharpen your love language and find out what makes your partner feel you love them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You may have differing libidos, but don’t forget about sex. Don’t wait for your partner to initiate sex, some people are not comfortable with that. Make sure it doesn’t turn into a chore however.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Mindset</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This one seems to be forgotten most of the time. FIFO requires a certain level of resilience from both partners. You both have to have a positive mind frame toward life and this chosen lifestyle or soon you will find yourself spiralling into depression.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to be focused on what you want out of life, and check if you are getting it. Nothing worse than putting all the effort in, sacrificing time with your partner, family and friends just to find that you are not getting ahead. Couple that with harsh, remote conditions, with long work hours and you can have a disaster in your hands if you are not checking into your mind space and see how you are travelling.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> FIFO life brings a whole new dimension into a relationship that needs to be managed both with yourself, your partner and friends.</div> </div>

5 Tips Of Fifo Relationship

Working on a Fly in Fly out basis has its rewards but it certainly has its down sides when in comes to building or maintaining a relations...

How To Keep The Hope Alive, When Dating Gets You Down

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img alt="t get too attached to him because he will leave me anyways How to Keep the Hope Alive, When Dating Gets You Down" src="http://static.eharmony.com/dating-advice/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/dating-positively.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “I just don’t do well with women. They are like a puzzle I’ll never be able to solve.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “I shouldn’t get too attached to him because he will leave me anyways. That’s what they always do.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “She’s nice and we had a great time, but I feel jaded from being burned by other women. There’s no point in asking her out again.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “I shouldn’t get my hopes up because nothing ever works out. I should just quit before I get rejected.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> These four statements are typical of my single clients who are struggling to form a relationship, male and female alike.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> These thoughts are protective measures your brain takes to attempt to make you feel better about your situation, which may include loneliness, insecurity, dating difficulties, and chronic singlehood. While these thoughts are part of the endless mind chatter that fills your life, they can keep you closed and impede connection due to their self-defeating, negative, emotionally charged, and assumingly permanent nature.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Buying into thoughts and fears may lead you to unconsciously committing that dating will not work. As this becomes your norm and expectation of dating, it creates disengagement, tension, and resentment that seeps into dates. When these thoughts run your dating life and you do not work to reframe them and create a safe distance from them, in some ways, you have given up.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have given up on the chance that dating could be different, better, and more satisfying in the present and future. You have given up on the reality that not everyone will abandon you, betray you, hurt you or reject you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You might be thinking, “Me, give up? No way, I am constantly utilizing online dating sites, I message anyone who might be my ideal partner and I go on dates. How is this giving up?”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> With a negative mindset or an underlying assumption that each date will go miserably, you naturally go on dates, especially first dates, on guard. While it is appropriate to have healthy boundaries, to resist the need to over-share or over-commit early on and to take your time getting to know your date, the “nothing ever works out for me” perception negatively impacts how you show up and relate to the men and women you meet. Whether you know it or not, you become less likely to let someone new into your life, you are less able to tolerate vulnerability, and less likely to take a chance on love, or even just a second date.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While it is understandable that you don’t want to get your hopes up after a long stretch of unsuccessful experiences, bringing passion, openness, and excitement to your date are the means to create true connection.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, how can you date in a more positive way without letting the past or fear-based thinking bring you down?</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1.<strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Imagine each date as a clean slate.</strong> It is separate from your thoughts about dating and separate from your past, including bad dates and any negative encounters with previous partners. View each date as a new opportunity to connect with someone who has nothing to do with your past.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">When negative thoughts creep in, acknowledge them without attachment and bring yourself back to the moment, reminding yourself to be open to what is happening presently</strong>. Dating works best when you are actually on the date instead of in your head.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Be open to a different or new reality</strong>. Your mind says the past equals the present? Take deliberate action not to believe it. Your mind tells you that the current man you are dating is likely cheating on you because you’ve been cheated on before even though there is nothing signaling that he is? Let it go and work with your mind to handle the unknown with an open heart and mind.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Understand the difference between getting your hopes up unrealistically and being open and available for connection</strong>. In turn, do not change your dating life and associated decisions to avoid potential pain or rejection. Dating involves taking risks, so if you like her, ask her out; if you want to see her again, let her know; and if you want to kiss him and the moment feels right, go for it.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 5. <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">While you have no control of others, date in a way that works for you</strong>. Focus on making choices that feel right to you, in terms of the pace, how many people you date at one time, etc. When you focus on yourself and what is in your control, you will naturally feel more confident and empowered to handle the bumps along the road to love.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Connect with the part of you who wants a relationship, and bring this energy to your date. To do this, visualize yourself in your ideal relationship with a great partner. You have to put yourself out there — that is what love is.</div> </div>

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