Relationships and Love

Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="513" src="http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.7587022.1337/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you're not a Christian, the idea behind the season is interesting. It's a time of giving up vices and substituting more positive behavior in their place. Where better to try this out than in our relationships?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Every couple has their own unique blend of struggles, but here are 10 bad habits of action and communication that most <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> could stand to give up. This trial only lasts 40 days, but who knows? At the end, you might want to give up your bad habits permanently.</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. You say, "You always ..."</strong><br /> When you disagree, speak in "I" statements about your <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">own</em> feelings. Don't try to tell your partner how he or she feels or what he or she does. Instead, say, "I feel ...".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. You take "I <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">love</strong> you" lightly.</strong><br /> It's not just a way to end phone calls or something to abbreviate in a text message. You worked hard to find—and keep!—this special connection. Say, "<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">I love you</strong>" out loud and in-person.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. You two shower seperately.</strong><br /> Get in there TOGETHER sometimes! After a while, couples stop noticing each other's bodies. The intimate act of washing your loved one (and all the <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">sexy</strong> stuff than can occur during and after) is worth taking turns under the shower head.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. You email each other WAY too much.</strong><br /> Instead of emailing your sweetheart a link to that funny YouTube video or posting something on a Facebook wall, share your thoughts on paper. Write a haiku or a knock-knock joke. Doodle. Check "yes" (not "no"). When was the last time you really looked at your partner's—or anyone else's!—handwriting?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. You forget to say, "Please".</strong><br /> It's easy to fall into the habit of just telling your partner to do something. But sharing your life with someone is a GIFT. So say "Please" and "Thank you".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. You distance yourself after a rough patch.</strong><br /> Touch your partner on the face or arms before bringing up a tough subject—it works much more effectively than words do. Then say what you need to say. This way you're keeping the connection alive.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. You CONSTANTLY complain.</strong><br /> Instead of complaining, try to tell your partner three things that you appreciate about him/her or the relationship everyday.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. You hyper-focus on everything he does WRONG. (And think he's a mind reader.)</strong><br /> Because he can't. Instead, remember that he will never think like a woman, and focus on what he does do for you and acknowledge it. And if you want something else, ask for it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. You avoid couples therapy.</strong><br /> It's important to be proactive and find support before it gets worse. There are a multitude of marriage education resources on the web, ranging from counselors, coaches, ministers, psychologists, non-profit organizations, etc..</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. You give him what <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">you </em>want.</strong><br /> Instead of assuming you know what your partner needs to feel loved, ASK him. If love to your partner is more hugs and kisses, give them. If love is a night out with the guys, give it to him. Show your partner his kind of love for the ULTIMATE loving experience.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Which bad relationship habits do you think you should give up for Lent?</strong></div> </div>

Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you're not a Christian, the idea behind the season is interesting. It'…

19 Feb 2015

Seven Shocking Ways Makeup Affects Your Love Life (Says Science)

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://d236bkdxj385sg.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/chignon.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Are your makeup choices getting in the way?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> As a woman, it's no surprise to you that just about every lady has an interesting relationship with makeup. You may have a daily routine with lipstick, eyeshadow or a magic concealer that you can't go without. You may have a signature look that makes you feel confident. You may even hate it, but wear it for certain occasions for different reasons.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here are seven ways this tumultuous relationship with makeup actually affects your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">love </strong>life:</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Wear eyeshadow? You'll get MORE messages from men.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A lot of people romanticize eyes, saying they're the windows to the soul. Perhaps this is why men prefer eye shadow on a woman more than <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">any</em> other kind of makeup. According to Zoosk, women received 139 percent more messages from male users once they posted a picture of themselves wearing eye shadow.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Red lips will make him stare.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Sometimes you want to branch out to different lip shades especially when they are on trend. Orange is definitely a different take on a bright lip, nude is great with a smoky eye, but in the end the go-to color is <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">red</em>. Turns out men aren't at all tired of red. According to a study from Manchester University, men will keep staring at a woman with red lips for 7.3 seconds. Pink comes in second, holding a man's attention for 6.7 seconds. Who knew red lipstick had mind controlling powers?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. Your undying love for makeup could come between you two.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Although some guys dig makeup, most end up saying how much they dislike it and prefer "the natural look." However, who can trust this comment when most of the "natural" models men drool over are covered with foundation? Well, it turns out that if it really comes down to your love for makeup or the significant other then things could take a turn for the worse. A new study found that 57 percent of women would break up with their <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">boyfriend</strong> rather than break up with their makeup bag. So don't pressure us, guys!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Men want you to wear LESS makeup though.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A study done by Bangor University found that men prefer women who wear 40 percent fewer cosmetics along with women. So keep that in mind the next time you open your makeup bag.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. Makeup may make men respect you more.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />According to a study from Procter & Gamble, wearing makeup makes you seem more competent. That means you should probably wear a little makeup to your first job interview and <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">first date</strong>, because who wants to date someone who is incompetent?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Your blushed and bronzed cheeks may be turing him away.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A lot of ladies love using blush and bronzer. After all contouring with bronzer to get high cheekbones without surgery is amazing! But it turns out men pay the least attention to blushed or bronzed cheeks, according to the study done by Zoosk.  If you are still <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">dating </strong>and want to attract a man, then it's probably better to focus on your eye makeup and lip color.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Those lipstick kisses could be lethal.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It may look good, but a lot of makeup out there contains things that you definitely don't want in your body. The FDA completed a study where they found more than 400 lipsticks contain lead. Drugstore brands and high-end labels had about .25ppm (parts per million) to 7.19 ppm of lead content. So if you wear a signature color every day, it may be time to switch to a natural brand.</div> </div>

Seven Shocking Ways Makeup Affects Your Love Life (Says Science)

Are your makeup choices getting in the way? As a woman, it's no surprise to you that just about every lady has an interesting relationship with makeup. You may have a daily routine with lipstic…

19 Feb 2015

Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <img src="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">marriage</a></strong>, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise,<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset. </div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you're spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here are the 4 main skill ares you need:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Emotional self-regulation</strong>. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months (or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things), you've got some important learning to do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Communication</strong>. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Conflict resolution</strong>. All couples have differences. Successful couples know how to start with a "his-way" and a "her-way" and end up with an "our-way" that they both feel good about. That's true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">sex</a></strong> life passionate.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Positivity.</strong> Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">affection</strong>, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The susila of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> ....</div> </div>

Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

marriage, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise,couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launchin…

18 Feb 2015

What Is Dating?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <h1 class="title" id="page-title" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; float: left; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 39px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 62px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjITeoFgMaaKz9pZjXrIObhjLsKRVpUNsV-HkA8zGUiVf0Du8U6mQpx1SUBQWLyZmUuCxsTnD5TEmwRB1MtnhctDCwbrsHnYycYaKs0KDHMP5uSTVtNJlabpITJKxObHkucVubYTrwtAY8/s640/dating+vs+relationship.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /><span style="letter-spacing: -0.05em; text-align: left;">What is Dating?</span></h1> <br /> <div class="block block-system block-main block-system-main odd block-without-title" id="block-system-main" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="block-inner clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <article about="/dating-basics/what-is-dating" class="node node-page node-published node-not-promoted node-not-sticky author-admin odd clearfix" id="node-page-4" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" typeof="foaf:Document"><div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-items" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect.org, we </div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> define <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit;">“dating” as two people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or open, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating abuse can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships.</span></div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Types of Dating</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You and your friends may use the word “dating” or you may not. People describe relationships in different ways. Whatever you call it, we want you to understand and feel comfortable with whatever type of relationship you are in. Some of the most commonly used words to describe dating are:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Going out</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Together</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Being with someone</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Seeing each other</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hubby/wifey status</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Just friends</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Friends with benefits</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hooking up</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Regardless of the label you use, you and your partner should both accept the same definition for your relationship.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> But I’m Not Dating!</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are other types of relationships that might not be considered dating that are just as real and that we can help you with here. Maybe you have a child with somebody, but do not consider yourself to be in a dating relationship with that person. Having a child together could feel like more than just dating, or you might have chosen not to be together anymore; there is no one way that relationships must work.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Another possibility is that you and your partner are married. Of course marriage is different from dating in some ways, but you might be surprised at how similar they really are! What makes a dating relationship healthy or unhealthy usually applies to marriage as well.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> At loveisrespect, we focus on dating but this site is relevant to everyone.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Who is a Partner?</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Simply put, a dating "partner" refers the person you’re in a relationship with. A healthy partner is:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respecting</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Trustworthy</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Honest</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dependable</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Supportive</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Whether you’re in a long-term, committed relationship or looking for casual dating experiences, you can still experience abuse. People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer/questioning (LGBTQ) can be in abusive relationships too. In fact, studies show that dating violence occurs at the same rates in same-sex relationships as in opposite-sex relationships.</div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </article></div> </div> </div> </div>

What Is Dating?

What is Dating? "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect.org, we define “dating” as two people in an intimate relationship.…

18 Feb 2015

Six Things You Can Do To Better Your Reationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="320" src="http://karenmcklaren.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/7114693-beautiful-fun-happy-smiling-laughing-african-american-couple-piggyback-playing-in-the-park-woman-hug.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="213" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> We have one job in this life and that is to be authentic in who we are. It is easy to get pulled away from our commitment to ourselves in the world of relationships as we experience the demands of other people’s thoughts and expectations of who they would like us to be. The greatest gift you give to yourself is to <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just be you</em>.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6 Steps to Being Authentically You:</b></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Know Who You Are:</b> When we know who we are we can say no when we need to say no and yes when we need to say yes. We know what we like or dislike and are not insecure about it or other people’s judgments of us. We are able to coast along in life with a sense of well-being because we are solid internally. When we love ourselves we will not change who we are to gain love and approval.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Avoid Faking It: </b>Being too nice makes us inauthentic. We do this because we do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So, we pretend to like people, events and circumstances we don’t like. A certain amount of this is socially acceptable and necessary. When it is a habit and there is an oppressive worry of what others think about us — this is unhealthy. We must be true to the truth of our experience and put that out into the world.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. No Need to Audition:</b> When we pretend to be someone we are not, we set ourselves up to be in an “audition” mode. We are always trying to be what we think others want us to be. We can sacrifice everything to give people what we think they want, when in reality, we have zero control over what people think. When we scale back and simply focus on the genuineness of who we are, there is no need to audition.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Observe:</b> When going into a new situation, begin to assess it from “Is this going to be good for me?” and “Is this going to add to my life and make me feel good” rather than approaching it from “What do I need to change or do to be good enough for the situation?”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Be True to Yourself:</b> It is one thing to know who you are but another thing to truly act upon it. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy and don’t waste one more minute of your time not feeling good enough for other people. When you can be in this place, you will be taken more seriously by others as well. When we are true to ourselves, others can sense it and life is much more enjoyable.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. We Cannot Control What Others Think</b>: What other people think of us actually has very little to do with us. What they think of us has to do with their own prejudices, fears, insecurities and projections. When we see it from this place it becomes clear that it is a waste of time to be going around pretending to have feelings we do not have in an effort to avoid abandonment and gain approval.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> All you have to do in this life to make it happy and significant is to just be you. Be who you are. When you are out pretending, you are not being authentic. If you are not being authentic, people do not really know who they are dealing with and how to treat you according to what your true needs are. Take a moment and relax. There is no one to impress, nothing needs to be done. Your being worthy has nothing to do with other people.</div> </div>

Six Things You Can Do To Better Your Reationship

We have one job in this life and that is to be authentic in who we are. It is easy to get pulled away from our commitment to ourselves in the world of relationships as we experience the demands …

17 Feb 2015

Relationship Quotes

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l561/maxgreenlover27/Quotes%20and%20Sayings/Sweet_Sayings_for_Your_Girlfriend.jpg" /></div> <br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Never beg for a relationship. Be brave to accept the one who really wants to be with you and reject the one who just pretends to be with you.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Never fight for space in someone's life. If they really want you in their life they would definitely make space for you.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Distance means nothing when someone means everything.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical. The kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend. The only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances.</span><br /> <iframe id="iagdtd_frame" src="https://d19tqk5t6qcjac.cloudfront.net/i/412.html" style="height: 1px; left: -9999px; position: absolute; width: 1px;"></iframe></div>

Relationship Quotes

Never beg for a relationship. Be brave to accept the one who really wants to be with you and reject the one who just pretends to be with you. Never fight for space in someone's life. If they rea…

16 Feb 2015

Should I Let Him Go ?

Should I Let Him Go ?

I'm currently in a relationship , the bad part of it its that we are 1633 miles away from eachother .my sister told me to let go because I don't really know if he's cheating on me and all that . …

12 Feb 2015

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to stop fighting. Doesn’t se…

11 Feb 2015

Why Women Cheat (And How To Stop It)

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #222222; float: left; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://www.doctornerdlove.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/iStock_000006197201XSmall.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Since this blog is concerned with encouraging successful relationships, let’s look at some of the reasons why women cheat on their partners.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason #1: She’s Not Being Fulfilled Emotionally</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As I’ve said many times before, the half-life of romantic love is six months to a year. After that point, the initial rush of excitement and passion fades, and relationships begin to settle into a calmer, more intimate level. Unfortunately, it’s extremely easy to fall into a rut; what was new has become common place, or even expected. You’re no longer on your best courting behavior, so you’re not as quick or effusive with the compliments as you used to be. You don’t notice her new hairstyle, or that new dress she’s wearing… one that she bought specifically for you. Now that you’re more relaxed and at ease with the relationship, you allow yourself to be more selfish. You don’t devote as much of your time and attention to her and her interests. You come home from a long day at work or class and all you want to do is play Call of Duty for a couple of hours as you decompress; the last thing you want to do is listen to your girlfriend complain about the office politics or the girl in class she feels is always trying to one-up her. Your days together start to blur; it’s a monotonous repetition of wake up, breakfast, work, dinner, sleep, and the only place you take her is for granted. Your conversations are short and superficial, because your attention is elsewhere… maybe even on that cute girl you always see at the Starbucks as you stop for your morning caffeine hit.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And before you know it, your girlfriend is cozying up with that guy from the office with the dreamy eyes. Why? Well, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em> weren’t meeting her emotional needs… so she went elsewhere to find them.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How To Stop It:</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Women are emotional creatures; feeling not just loved but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">desired</em> and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">appreciated </em>is incredibly important, especially in a relationship. Sadly, our society has conditioned them to be deferential towards men, to avoid making men upset or being too demanding or burdensome. As a result, women are far less likely to be upfront about what they need, emotionally. In many cases, they may know they have a need, but be unable to verbalize it, leaving the man confused and the woman frustrated and annoyed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You need to avoid ruts in the relationship. Routine and familiarity can be numbing, which will in turn leads to boredom… and boredom is the death of relationships. You need to add a certain level of impulsiveness and unpredictability to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In addition, you need to remember: communication is key. You need to be emotionally honest with her and be willing to engage her own emotional needs. If she feels that she <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">can’t</em> talk to you about what she needs, if she feels as though that her issues or wants will just be brushed aside or ignored, she’ll start looking for someone who will appreciate her.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason #2: The Sex Has Gone Stale</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It used to be that the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. If you had a free moment, the two of you would be headed straight to the nearest horizontal surface. Or the nearest broom closet. Or the bathroom. You used to pull her hair and bite her neck, she used to smack your ass like a pissed off nun; she used to bend like a pretzel and you were the undisputed <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">king</em> of oral. There wasn’t a position in the book you didn’t try and a few that you may have invented. The orgasms were fast, furious and all over the place – in all senses of the word. Sex could last for <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">hours.</em> You used to fuck like <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">gods. </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And now? Seven to eight minutes of missionary, once a month… twice, if you’re lucky. Half of the time, you’ve found that the only way you can get off is by fantasizing about someone else. Hell, there are times that you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">actively avoiding</em> sex. You never thought you would, but it’s become so mind-numbingly routine and boring that there are times you’d really much rather just browse RedtTube and jerk off instead.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And then one day you come home an hour early and find your best beloved riding your boss like she’s about to win the Triple Crown.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Can Stop It</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just as the infatuation of a new relationship fades, the physical passion and desire will ebb and flow. Time, comfort and familiarity can cause desire to recede in any relationship; Billy Bob Thornton once said of Angelina Jolie: “She may be the hottest woman in the world but after enough time, it’s kind of like fucking the couch.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> nce again: routine leads to boredom and boredom is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">death </em>of relationships… especially boring sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Desire will ebb and flow over the years, but if you want to avoid boredom, you have to be an active participant in your sex life. This doesn’t mean moving your hips, by the way. You can’t just expect nothing but a minimum of foreplay followed by a few minutes of missionary or female superior sex to stay interesting for all your life, and just throwing doggie style into the mix isn’t going to cut it either. To start with, change your location. If you’re mostly having sex in the bedroom… get out of bed. Bone on the floor. Bend her over the couch. Fuck in the shower, in the closet… anywhere but the same old, same old.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t underestimate the importance of foreplay; to you it may be what you have to sit through before you get to the good stuff, but to her, it’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">important</em>. The more orgasms you can provide –<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not </em>just through penetration – the more satisified she will be. The more satisfied she is, the less likely that she’s going to step out on you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> While you’re at it, work on your communication skills. Open communication and honesty is absolutely key here. You both need to be able to open up to each other and be honest; if she feels like the sex is getting boring, and she can’t tell you, then she’s going to find herself more interested in other guys… ones who she <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">hasn’t</em> been having the same old sex, over and over again. And don’t forget to be willing to talk about what you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">actually </em>want. Be willing to explore your fantasies. You may be getting stuck in the sex rut when what you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really </em>want is some Principal and Naughty Student action… and she may want you to tie her up and spank her silly but can’t quite bring herself to admit it to you.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason 3: You’ve Let Yourself Go</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let’s be honest: when you’re single, you take <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">much</em> better care of yourself than when you’re in a relationship. After all, you’ve gotta compete with all of those other guys out there. You’ve gotta keep your edge! So you watch what you eat, put your time in at the gym. You keep your clothes fresh, stylish and clean, your hair impeccably coiffed and your breath is <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">always </em>minty fresh.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> At least, it <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">used </em>to be. Ever since you and your girl became exclusive… well, you’ve gotten a little more comfortable with her and maaaybe you haven’t been hitting the gym quite as often as you should. A few too many snacks, too many romantic dates to your favorite restaurants instead of staying in and cooking have taken their toll on you. But it’s ok… she loves you anyway, and you don’t need to impress her anymore. And hey, you’re not out on the prowl any more so you don’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> need to throw some product in your hair today, right?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Before you know it, you’re not the guy you used to be. You’ve gone up a couple pants sizes and your wardrobe is more “functional” than “fun”. Your hair’s started to go, you’re spending more time in sweats than in suits and a lot more time on the couch than on the treadmill. But hey, it’s not like she hasn’t loosened up a little too, right?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well, maybe that’ll comfort you when her personal trainer at the gym has been coming for some “extra” sessions, if you know what I mean.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Can Stop It:</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well this one’s simple: maintain some standards. Time and age may make mockery of us all eventually, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t put up a good fight. It’s easy to let things slide when you don’t feel the need to impress her anymore or that you don’t have anything to prove… but that’s going to be the exact reason why she’s out looking at Captain HotBuns instead. Keep up with your exercise, eat healthy and maintain your style. In fact, you may want to get her involved; two can work better than one when it comes to trying to keep each other on a healthy lifestyle.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason #4: She’s Bored.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Maybe it’s the sex. Maybe it’s the relationship. Or maybe it’s that you don’t offer her the excitement she craves. Maybe you and she have different cultural appetites; you’re TVs and beer, she’s opera and Cabernet Sauvignon. Maybe when you were both young and single she was the wild party girl and you convinced her that it was time to settle down. It may be that she has intellectual needs that aren’t being met and all of your conversations are focused around the Real Housewives of Orange County.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Or perhaps she feels that things have been stagnant – or worse, degrading – for so long that it’s time for a change. And you have to admit, finally “letting” the cute banker at the gym who’s been chatting her up finally take her out is going to be exciting in ways she hasn’t felt in a long, long time.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Can Stop It:</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m sure you can see this coming, but I’m going to say it again: Communication, communication, communication. If you’re sensing a theme here, then good. Both you and your lady <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">need</em> to have full and open lines of communication. If she’s feeling a lack in her life, or if she’s feeling restrained or held back and she feels as though she <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">can’t </em>bring it up to you, then you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to have problems.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And while you’re busy listening attentively to what she’s trying to tell you, you need to mix things up. I’m not saying that you have to live a life of constant spontaneity where every day is an unplanned delight, but you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">should</em> follow the maxim that variety is the spice of life. Engage your intellectual curiosity and make concerted efforts to try new things – or to go back and do older ones you’ve since given up. Settling down doesn’t mean you can’t go out and party; in fact, it should be <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better. </em>Don’t think of her as your girlfriend or wife when you’re making plans to go bar-hopping or clubbing. Think of her as your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">partner in crime</em>.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason #5: You Cheated On <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Her</em></h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Whether you thought you were in love or you just couldn’t resist the call of the new, the fact of the matter is, you strayed. You stepped out on your woman, you got busted, and now she’s doing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the exact same thing to you</em>. You’d appreciate the irony if it didn’t drive a spear through your heart every time you thought about her with another man.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Congratulations genius… now you know how <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> felt when <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you </em>did it. She may not be cheating on you as revenge, but you’re going to have to face the fact that you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">did</em> give her a “get out of fidelity free” card when she didn’t dump your ass right then and there. Now <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you </em>have a decision to make about how you’re going to respond.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Can Stop It:</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Do I <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really </em>have to spell this one out for you?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Reason #6: Some People are Just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Bad</em> at Monogamy</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> She didn’t mean to. It was just a simple friendly dinner with a friend from work when they were out of town closing the sale. But after the third glass of wine his hand was resting on her knee but it was totally harmless, so she just left it there. And yeah, they were snuggled up in the cab back to the hotel. And ok, maybe she <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">did</em> go back to his room with him, but it was just for a quick nightcap. One thing lead to another and… well, look, she’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really sorry</em>, ok?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just as she was the last two or three times.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> That you know about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about you. She honestly does. But the fact remains that she is <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not </em>the sort of person who can make and keep a monogamous commitment to someone, even someone she loves. Maybe you thought you could change her. Maybe she honestly thought things would be different this time. But they weren’t, and now you have a lot of questions that you need to ask yourself.</div> <h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How You Can Stop It:</span></h4> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> To be perfectly honest… you can’t. There are people who simply aren’t wired for only sleeping with one person at a time, and trying to force them into that particular mold is akin to trying to nail Jello to a tree. The best thing in those cases is for complete and utter honesty <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">up front</em>. If she – or you, for that matter – are the sort of person who honestly <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> good at monogamy, she has the obligation to her partners to inform them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">at the beginning.</em>.. and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em> have the obligation to listen and take her seriously. You also have to be honest with <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">yourself</em> on the matter of whether you can handle an open or semi-open relationship. You can’t go into a relationship thinking that her attitude or beliefs are just a phase that either she will grow out of or that you can persuade her to drop. You won’t be the first person to try to change her… and with that attitude, you certainly won’t be the last.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> With some women, an open relationship is part of the price of entry. She will love you with all of her heart, and she will always come back to you at the end of the day, but there <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</em> be other men in her life – physically, if not emotionally – and you have to be able to handle that if you want to be with her. Otherwise the best thing you can do for the both of you is to end things quickly and cleanly and find someone new.</div> </div>

Why Women Cheat (And How To Stop It)

Since this blog is concerned with encouraging successful relationships, let’s look at some of the reasons why women cheat on their partners. Reason #1: She’s Not Being Fulfilled Emotionally As…