Eight Things That Make Women Crave Sex

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="section" id="section-3" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="section summary" id="section-0" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://www.openentrance.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/blacklove.jpg" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit;" /></div> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Heard “Not tonight, honey” a few too many times lately? If it’s just not happening between the sheets for you and your lady, it might be time to learn what really gets her psyched for sex. While guys are generally up for sex whenever, wherever (regardless of the situation), women tend to need a bit more inspiration, according to Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D. and David M. Buss, Ph.D., psychology professors at the University of Texas at Austin and coauthors of Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between). For a better understanding of how to get her in the mood, consider the following eight factors that Meston and Buss say affects a woman’s libido:</div> </div> </h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1. HER MAN’S APPEARANCE</h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="section" id="section-1" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Men are usually considered to be the most turned on by visual stimuli (think about it: how many strip clubs and adult magazines are actually targeted toward females?), but women are actually quite turned on by a man’s face, body and movement as well, say Meston and Buss. “Sexually, women are attracted to men with masculine features, although not too masculine,” Meston explains. “A little light stubble is usually a turn-on for women if it’s clean and well-kept. Body-wise, women generally find men with a V-shaped torso or a high shoulder-to-hip ratio sexually attractive. Motion is important, too, as women find athletic prowess and agility to be sexual turn-ons.” The bottom line: If you’d like to get her in the sack, a good first step to take might be getting yourself into the gym.</div> </div> </h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. THE TIME OF DAY</h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="section" id="section-2" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Meston says that women are very individualized in terms of when they most prefer to get it on: “In general, women want to have sex when they feel their best — when they have energy, feel connected to their partners, aren’t distracted by work or stressful daily events, and when they feel sexy — and that may or may not be at night.” In order to figure out when a woman’s most likely to be in the mood, pay attention to the times she seems the most energized and/or chilled out. Try thinking outside the box — you may find that she’d love a post-jog quickie right before her shower!</div> </div> </h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></h2> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3. CERTAIN SMELLS</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Meston and Buss explain that, for women, sense of smell is far more important than it is to men when it comes to sexual attraction. Simply put: if a woman doesn’t like the way a man smells, it’s often a deal-breaker — whether she consciously realizes it or not. The number one turn-off reported by most women is — not surprisingly — bad breath, says Buss. A woman’s sense of smell also plays an interesting biological role in what attracts her to a man, according to Meston: “Olfactory signals provide a woman with a wealth of information about a man’s health, hygiene, and even his genetic makeup,” she notes. Pheromones — tiny airborne molecules that humans emit from various glands in their body — can influence a woman’s desire to be sexually intimate with a man. Male pheromones have been shown to provide information on a man’s symmetry, which is an indicator of genetic fitness and ultimately can determine whether a man is genetically compatible with a woman. “For many women — whether they realize it or not — scent can play an important role in determining her willingness to have sex with a man, given her ‘sense’ of whether they can produce genetically healthy, strong children together,” says Buss.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-4" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4. HER GUY’S CHOICE OF WORDS</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Often, what a man says is more important than what he does when he’s trying to get a woman in the mood. “Offering compliments is usually a sure-fire way of making someone want to get closer… although, if the compliments come across as insincere, they will actually turn her off,” says Meston. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />To score extra sincerity points, make references to future activities you’d like to do together, explains Meston, noting that showing signs of commitment can often be sexually alluring to women. Buss also notes that a man with a sense of humor is also a sexual turn-on for the ladies: “If a man can make a woman laugh, it relaxes her and makes her feel that he ‘gets’ her,” he says, adding that a good sense of humor also conveys some key qualities women want in a mate: intelligence (it’s hard to be witty if you’re not too bright), the ability to gauge her emotional and social perspective (a.k.a. having the mind-reading skills to know what she will find amusing), and social verve or confidence.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-5" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 5. THE NEED FOR REVENGE</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In their research, Meston and Buss found that many women had “revenge sex” with someone other than their most recent dating partner to get back at a cheating partner or to “even the score,” as some women put it. “Some women hoped their ex would find out about it and feel angry or hurt, and other women said they didn’t care if they found out or not — they felt better just knowing they had gotten revenge,” Meston explains. Why is the need for revenge such a turn-on for women? “Revenge can serve two basic functions,” Buss explains. The first function is one of deterrence: just as bullies stop picking on victims who retaliate, cheating partners sometimes stop their illicit activities when the other person retaliates in kind. The second function of revenge is “reputation management,” says Buss. “Women who are scorned sometimes suffer damage to their social reputation, whether they are cheated on or dumped. Having sex — especially if it is with someone who is relatively high in ‘mate value’ — can sometimes help to restore a woman’s reputation,” he explains.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-6" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 6. GENETICS</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Women prefer men whose MHC genes (or Major HistoCompatibility genes) are dissimilar to their own, because this is the set of genes involved in determining an individual’s immune function. “Having children with men who are dissimilar produces children with healthier immune systems,” Buss explains. “Astonishingly, women seem to be able to pick this up through sense of smell, especially at ovulation, if they are not on hormonal contraceptives.”</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-7" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 7. HER PHYSICAL HEALTH OR WELL-BEING</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’re looking for a few good reasons why she should have sex with you, there are countless ways in which you can emphasize that “getting busy” would be a wise move for her health. “During orgasm, opiates — the body’s natural painkillers — are released, which can help decrease all sorts of aches and pains for women,” Meston explains. Sex can also help maintain the body’s flexibility and cardiovascular health, decrease anxiety, and enhance overall mood. Additionally, Meston notes, having sex during menstruation decreases a woman’s risk of experiencing endometriosis symptoms. Of course, sex (if it lasts long enough!) can also be a good calorie burner, so you can always suggest it as a fantastic way to burn off the chocolate cheesecake you shared for dessert.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-8" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> 8. TO RAISE HER SOCIAL STATUS OR SENSE OF SELF-ESTEEM</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> In their research, Meston and Buss found that, for some women, having sex is more about competition and winning (see who went home with the good-looking guy at the bar?). For women that do this to compete with others and also raise their social standing, her intended target’s social status is a key factor in revving her libido. “Young women who are ‘groupies,’ for example, often compete to see who can have sex with the musician who has a higher status, while Monica Lewinsky raised her status by having an intimate connection with the President,” Buss says. She goes on to explain that, for women who have sex to raise their self-esteem, the motivating factor is usually the need to feel sexually desirable. “Some women suffer from low self-esteem and feel bad about their bodies for a variety of reasons, ranging from comparisons with media models to put-downs by their regular mates,” explains Buss. Having sex with a man who finds her irresistibly hot and her body incredibly beautiful can provide a huge boost to a woman’s self-esteem — so if you’re looking for a little loving, make her feel like she’s the sexiest woman on the planet! </div> </div> </div>

Eight Things That Make Women Crave Sex

Heard “Not tonight, honey” a few too many times lately? If it’s just not happening between the sheets for you and your lady, it might...

Read more »

Different Between Courting And Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="section summary" id="section-0" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhayty6-BW-0hG3GjQgVIFmFiGjN4OfT1_mi19l0Xupj_2LuOjn3bRbyJLT8IrKMya6hMtgfrimepJUpejjjmmzRo23ZuQwO65ycUjjPn9MUpT3EHeepAjVFz-vF6-kC5eVYPqEWHwNcdI/s1600/couple-at-odds2.jpg" /></div> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> "Courtship" is a rather outdated word used to describe the activities that occur when a couple is past the dating stage and in a more serious stage of their relationship. It happens before the couple becomes engaged or married and is usually meant to describe when a man is attempting to woo a woman, with marriage as the end goal. Dating has a more informal connotation and implies that the couple is not necessarily exclusive.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-1" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> TIME FRAME</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Dating may be fleeting and occurs when two people take part in an activity, such as seeing a movie, having dinner, cooking a meal together or going to a concert. They may talk on the phone and exchange text messages, e-mails, flowers and letters. It doesn't have a set time frame, but a couple may go on as few as one or two dates before they decide to stop dating. Both people in the dating relationship know that it may not last long. Couples who are courting, however, know that they will continue to see one another for a longer period of time. They engage in the same activities as a dating couple, but their courtship doesn't stop after just a few dates.</div> </div> <div class="section" id="section-2" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <h2 style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"> INTENDED OUTCOME</h2> <div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A courting couple intends to become engaged and get married. They know that their relationship is intended to be long-term and permanent. A couple that is dating may not have any specific expectations for their relationship. They may or may not see engagement or marriage as possibilities for the future, but are just having fun and seeing where the relationship goes. They may intend for the relationship to be short-term, or they may leave the possibility for it to become long-term open.</div> </div> </div>

Different Between Courting And Dating

"Courtship" is a rather outdated word used to describe the activities that occur when a couple is past the dating stage and i...

Read more »

Your Relationship Is In Serious Trouble, If You Do These 3 Things

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="https://thegrio.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/black-man-woman-fighting-16x9.jpg?w=560" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> You might be doing these things without even realizing it!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> At the beginning of your relationship, things are great. They can feel perfect in fact. The two of you are effortlessly connecting and those hours just seem to breeze by. Sound familiar?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> But then things start to get a little more difficult down the road.</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Maybe you start fighting once in a while. Maybe you have more and more <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">off days</em>. Maybe that chemistry you felt in the beginning just isn't there anymore.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Why does that happen? Are all <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">relationships</strong> doomed to end up like this? Actually, no.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Sure, relationships go through different phases as they mature. But when they're good, they improve with age. They don’t just die off in a disappointing puddle of complacency.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here’s why this usually happens:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The success of a relationship is based on the overall quality of the emotional interactions that you have with a man. When those emotional interactions are positive and high quality, that <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">increases</em> his positive feelings for you. When those interactions are negative and low quality, that <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">decreases</em> his positive feelings for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> So the secret is to keep having positive, high quality interactions that feel good.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> OK, that probably seems obvious. Maybe I need to explain what exactly a <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">positive </em>or <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">high quality </em>interaction actually is.</div> <a name='more'></a><br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Well, it probably isn’t exactly what you think it is. Most people think of positive interactions as happy, fun, and romantic. Sure, that can <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">sometimes</em> be a positive, but not always.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> A positive interaction is simply anything where the two of you are being 100 percent emotionally real and transparent with one another. Maybe that involves being happy and a lot of <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://www.yourtango.com/romance" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">romance</a></strong> but it might also involve crying in each other’s arms or about sharing what you’re afraid of or anxious about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The more real and honest you can be with one another, the more the interaction will be high quality and positive. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">And that’s what’s going to bring the two of you together.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> OK, you might be thinking right about now that this all sounds great, but what if you can’t get the guy to talk about his feelings? What if you aren’t having those positive interactions? And here’s my advice:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> A lot of people want to connect with their partner, but struggle because the way that they are bringing themselves toward any interaction is actually encouraging their partner to shut down emotionally.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> You could be encouraging his emotional shutdown by doing one of the following things:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. You're too busy analyzing your relationship to be present with him in the moment. </strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> You worry about what he thinks, analyze his behaviors or words, worry that you're not good enough, or try to think of the next thing to say.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Why would a guy want to connect with you, be open and vulnerable with you, and share his deepest feelings with you if you’re not even <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">there</em> with him? You’re stuck in your head and not in the preset moment.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. You focus on labels and moving things forward without enjoying your relationship as it is. </strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> You're trying to get him to be your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">boyfriend</strong> or get him to propose to you, evaluating him to see if he lives up to your expectations, or looking to him to somehow take responsibility for your emotional wellbeing and <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">happiness</strong>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Why would a guy want to bring all of himself to you and share himself with you if he suspects that you’re not going to accept him for the man that he is? It’s very off-putting when you suspect that someone else is just auditioning you to play the role of boyfriend rather than getting to know you. And it’s a turn off when you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around others because they are trying to get you to be a certain way or get something from you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. You're hiding your true feelings and thoughts to make him happy.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> You're always agreeing with him (even when you don’t really), not chiming in with your honest opinion, saying whatever you think he wants to hear to make him happy, or even going to the other extreme and pretending as if he doesn’t have any impact on you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Again, a guy isn’t going to want to open up to a woman who is closed off herself and isn’t willing to open up. Men want to know the real you. They don’t just want to have you agree with them, too afraid to rock the boat. And they don’t want to be with someone who is so closed off that they have no impact on whatsoever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> When you can start to work on these three things, you’ll begin to change the way that you bring yourself to any interaction, date, or relationship. And when this happens, don’t be surprised if you suddenly find that you man is slowly opening up to you again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Being with you will start to feel good again. You'll create positive emotional interactions and increase his connection to you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> This will keep your relationship from fizzling out, ending in a breakup or suffering the slow death of complacency.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Remember, relationships don’t happen on the romantic dates with the flowers and the chocolate. Relationships live and die by the small moment by moment choices we make on a daily basis.</div> </div>

Your Relationship Is In Serious Trouble, If You Do These 3 Things

You might be doing these things without even realizing it! At the beginning of your relationship, things are great. They can feel pe...

Read more »

Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="513" src="http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.7587022.1337/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you're not a Christian, the idea behind the season is interesting. It's a time of giving up vices and substituting more positive behavior in their place. Where better to try this out than in our relationships?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Every couple has their own unique blend of struggles, but here are 10 bad habits of action and communication that most <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> could stand to give up. This trial only lasts 40 days, but who knows? At the end, you might want to give up your bad habits permanently.</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. You say, "You always ..."</strong><br /> When you disagree, speak in "I" statements about your <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">own</em> feelings. Don't try to tell your partner how he or she feels or what he or she does. Instead, say, "I feel ...".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. You take "I <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">love</strong> you" lightly.</strong><br /> It's not just a way to end phone calls or something to abbreviate in a text message. You worked hard to find—and keep!—this special connection. Say, "<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">I love you</strong>" out loud and in-person.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. You two shower seperately.</strong><br /> Get in there TOGETHER sometimes! After a while, couples stop noticing each other's bodies. The intimate act of washing your loved one (and all the <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">sexy</strong> stuff than can occur during and after) is worth taking turns under the shower head.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. You email each other WAY too much.</strong><br /> Instead of emailing your sweetheart a link to that funny YouTube video or posting something on a Facebook wall, share your thoughts on paper. Write a haiku or a knock-knock joke. Doodle. Check "yes" (not "no"). When was the last time you really looked at your partner's—or anyone else's!—handwriting?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. You forget to say, "Please".</strong><br /> It's easy to fall into the habit of just telling your partner to do something. But sharing your life with someone is a GIFT. So say "Please" and "Thank you".</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. You distance yourself after a rough patch.</strong><br /> Touch your partner on the face or arms before bringing up a tough subject—it works much more effectively than words do. Then say what you need to say. This way you're keeping the connection alive.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. You CONSTANTLY complain.</strong><br /> Instead of complaining, try to tell your partner three things that you appreciate about him/her or the relationship everyday.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. You hyper-focus on everything he does WRONG. (And think he's a mind reader.)</strong><br /> Because he can't. Instead, remember that he will never think like a woman, and focus on what he does do for you and acknowledge it. And if you want something else, ask for it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. You avoid couples therapy.</strong><br /> It's important to be proactive and find support before it gets worse. There are a multitude of marriage education resources on the web, ranging from counselors, coaches, ministers, psychologists, non-profit organizations, etc..</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. You give him what <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">you </em>want.</strong><br /> Instead of assuming you know what your partner needs to feel loved, ASK him. If love to your partner is more hugs and kisses, give them. If love is a night out with the guys, give it to him. Show your partner his kind of love for the ULTIMATE loving experience.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Which bad relationship habits do you think you should give up for Lent?</strong></div> </div>

Ten Destructive Relationship Habits To Give Up For Lent Today

Get ready for 40 days of relationship IMPROVEMENT. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you'r...

Read more »

Seven Shocking Ways Makeup Affects Your Love Life (Says Science)

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://d236bkdxj385sg.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/chignon.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> Are your makeup choices getting in the way?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> As a woman, it's no surprise to you that just about every lady has an interesting relationship with makeup. You may have a daily routine with lipstick, eyeshadow or a magic concealer that you can't go without. You may have a signature look that makes you feel confident. You may even hate it, but wear it for certain occasions for different reasons.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here are seven ways this tumultuous relationship with makeup actually affects your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">love </strong>life:</div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Wear eyeshadow? You'll get MORE messages from men.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A lot of people romanticize eyes, saying they're the windows to the soul. Perhaps this is why men prefer eye shadow on a woman more than <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">any</em> other kind of makeup. According to Zoosk, women received 139 percent more messages from male users once they posted a picture of themselves wearing eye shadow.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Red lips will make him stare.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Sometimes you want to branch out to different lip shades especially when they are on trend. Orange is definitely a different take on a bright lip, nude is great with a smoky eye, but in the end the go-to color is <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">red</em>. Turns out men aren't at all tired of red. According to a study from Manchester University, men will keep staring at a woman with red lips for 7.3 seconds. Pink comes in second, holding a man's attention for 6.7 seconds. Who knew red lipstick had mind controlling powers?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. Your undying love for makeup could come between you two.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Although some guys dig makeup, most end up saying how much they dislike it and prefer "the natural look." However, who can trust this comment when most of the "natural" models men drool over are covered with foundation? Well, it turns out that if it really comes down to your love for makeup or the significant other then things could take a turn for the worse. A new study found that 57 percent of women would break up with their <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">boyfriend</strong> rather than break up with their makeup bag. So don't pressure us, guys!</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Men want you to wear LESS makeup though.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A study done by Bangor University found that men prefer women who wear 40 percent fewer cosmetics along with women. So keep that in mind the next time you open your makeup bag.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. Makeup may make men respect you more.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />According to a study from Procter & Gamble, wearing makeup makes you seem more competent. That means you should probably wear a little makeup to your first job interview and <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">first date</strong>, because who wants to date someone who is incompetent?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Your blushed and bronzed cheeks may be turing him away.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A lot of ladies love using blush and bronzer. After all contouring with bronzer to get high cheekbones without surgery is amazing! But it turns out men pay the least attention to blushed or bronzed cheeks, according to the study done by Zoosk.  If you are still <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">dating </strong>and want to attract a man, then it's probably better to focus on your eye makeup and lip color.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Those lipstick kisses could be lethal.</strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It may look good, but a lot of makeup out there contains things that you definitely don't want in your body. The FDA completed a study where they found more than 400 lipsticks contain lead. Drugstore brands and high-end labels had about .25ppm (parts per million) to 7.19 ppm of lead content. So if you wear a signature color every day, it may be time to switch to a natural brand.</div> </div>

Seven Shocking Ways Makeup Affects Your Love Life (Says Science)

Are your makeup choices getting in the way? As a woman, it's no surprise to you that just about every lady has an interesting re...

Read more »

Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="dek" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 15px;"> <img src="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">marriage</a></strong>, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise,<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">couples</strong> are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset. </div> <div class="ym" id="ym_1003415940242979181" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 0px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">  </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you're spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Here are the 4 main skill ares you need:</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Emotional self-regulation</strong>. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months (or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things), you've got some important learning to do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Communication</strong>. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Conflict resolution</strong>. All couples have differences. Successful couples know how to start with a "his-way" and a "her-way" and end up with an "our-way" that they both feel good about. That's true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=six-solutions-for-six-common-marriage" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #21568a; text-decoration: none;">sex</a></strong> life passionate.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Positivity.</strong> Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">affection</strong>, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> The susila of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> ....</div> </div>

Do Not Get Married Unless You've Learned These 4 Critical Skills

marriage , as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Oth...

Read more »

What Is Dating?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <h1 class="title" id="page-title" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; float: left; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 39px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 62px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjITeoFgMaaKz9pZjXrIObhjLsKRVpUNsV-HkA8zGUiVf0Du8U6mQpx1SUBQWLyZmUuCxsTnD5TEmwRB1MtnhctDCwbrsHnYycYaKs0KDHMP5uSTVtNJlabpITJKxObHkucVubYTrwtAY8/s640/dating+vs+relationship.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="640" /><span style="letter-spacing: -0.05em; text-align: left;">What is Dating?</span></h1> <br /> <div class="block block-system block-main block-system-main odd block-without-title" id="block-system-main" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="block-inner clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <article about="/dating-basics/what-is-dating" class="node node-page node-published node-not-promoted node-not-sticky author-admin odd clearfix" id="node-page-4" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" typeof="foaf:Document"><div class="content clearfix" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-items" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect.org, we </div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> define <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit;">“dating” as two people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or open, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating abuse can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships.</span></div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Types of Dating</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You and your friends may use the word “dating” or you may not. People describe relationships in different ways. Whatever you call it, we want you to understand and feel comfortable with whatever type of relationship you are in. Some of the most commonly used words to describe dating are:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Going out</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Together</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Being with someone</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Seeing each other</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hubby/wifey status</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Just friends</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Friends with benefits</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hooking up</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Regardless of the label you use, you and your partner should both accept the same definition for your relationship.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> But I’m Not Dating!</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are other types of relationships that might not be considered dating that are just as real and that we can help you with here. Maybe you have a child with somebody, but do not consider yourself to be in a dating relationship with that person. Having a child together could feel like more than just dating, or you might have chosen not to be together anymore; there is no one way that relationships must work.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Another possibility is that you and your partner are married. Of course marriage is different from dating in some ways, but you might be surprised at how similar they really are! What makes a dating relationship healthy or unhealthy usually applies to marriage as well.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> At loveisrespect, we focus on dating but this site is relevant to everyone.</div> <h2 style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: 29.25px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: 46.8px; margin: 10px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"> Who is a Partner?</h2> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Simply put, a dating "partner" refers the person you’re in a relationship with. A healthy partner is:</div> <ul style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 10px 25px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.2em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Respecting</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Trustworthy</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Honest</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dependable</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Supportive</li> </ul> <div style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Whether you’re in a long-term, committed relationship or looking for casual dating experiences, you can still experience abuse. People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer/questioning (LGBTQ) can be in abusive relationships too. In fact, studies show that dating violence occurs at the same rates in same-sex relationships as in opposite-sex relationships.</div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </article></div> </div> </div> </div>

What Is Dating?

What is Dating? "Dating" means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespe...

Read more »

Six Things You Can Do To Better Your Reationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img height="320" src="http://karenmcklaren.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/7114693-beautiful-fun-happy-smiling-laughing-african-american-couple-piggyback-playing-in-the-park-woman-hug.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="213" /></div> <br /> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> We have one job in this life and that is to be authentic in who we are. It is easy to get pulled away from our commitment to ourselves in the world of relationships as we experience the demands of other people’s thoughts and expectations of who they would like us to be. The greatest gift you give to yourself is to <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just be you</em>.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6 Steps to Being Authentically You:</b></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Know Who You Are:</b> When we know who we are we can say no when we need to say no and yes when we need to say yes. We know what we like or dislike and are not insecure about it or other people’s judgments of us. We are able to coast along in life with a sense of well-being because we are solid internally. When we love ourselves we will not change who we are to gain love and approval.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Avoid Faking It: </b>Being too nice makes us inauthentic. We do this because we do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So, we pretend to like people, events and circumstances we don’t like. A certain amount of this is socially acceptable and necessary. When it is a habit and there is an oppressive worry of what others think about us — this is unhealthy. We must be true to the truth of our experience and put that out into the world.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. No Need to Audition:</b> When we pretend to be someone we are not, we set ourselves up to be in an “audition” mode. We are always trying to be what we think others want us to be. We can sacrifice everything to give people what we think they want, when in reality, we have zero control over what people think. When we scale back and simply focus on the genuineness of who we are, there is no need to audition.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Observe:</b> When going into a new situation, begin to assess it from “Is this going to be good for me?” and “Is this going to add to my life and make me feel good” rather than approaching it from “What do I need to change or do to be good enough for the situation?”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Be True to Yourself:</b> It is one thing to know who you are but another thing to truly act upon it. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy and don’t waste one more minute of your time not feeling good enough for other people. When you can be in this place, you will be taken more seriously by others as well. When we are true to ourselves, others can sense it and life is much more enjoyable.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. We Cannot Control What Others Think</b>: What other people think of us actually has very little to do with us. What they think of us has to do with their own prejudices, fears, insecurities and projections. When we see it from this place it becomes clear that it is a waste of time to be going around pretending to have feelings we do not have in an effort to avoid abandonment and gain approval.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: myriad-pro, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> All you have to do in this life to make it happy and significant is to just be you. Be who you are. When you are out pretending, you are not being authentic. If you are not being authentic, people do not really know who they are dealing with and how to treat you according to what your true needs are. Take a moment and relax. There is no one to impress, nothing needs to be done. Your being worthy has nothing to do with other people.</div> </div>

Six Things You Can Do To Better Your Reationship

We have one job in this life and that is to be authentic in who we are. It is easy to get pulled away from our commitment to ourselves...

Read more »

Relationship Quotes

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l561/maxgreenlover27/Quotes%20and%20Sayings/Sweet_Sayings_for_Your_Girlfriend.jpg" /></div> <br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Never beg for a relationship. Be brave to accept the one who really wants to be with you and reject the one who just pretends to be with you.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Never fight for space in someone's life. If they really want you in their life they would definitely make space for you.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Distance means nothing when someone means everything.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical. The kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend. The only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances.</span><br /> <iframe id="iagdtd_frame" src="https://d19tqk5t6qcjac.cloudfront.net/i/412.html" style="height: 1px; left: -9999px; position: absolute; width: 1px;"></iframe></div>

Relationship Quotes

Never beg for a relationship. Be brave to accept the one who really wants to be with you and reject the one who just pretends to be wit...

Read more »

Should I Let Him Go ?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.mjemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/africa-america-woman-sad.jpeg" /></div> <br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #232323; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;">I'm currently in a relationship , the bad part of it its that we are 1633 miles away from eachother .my sister told me to let go because I don't really know if he's cheating on me and all that . I don't know if there's any chance for us to met in the future who knows .. Or I don't know if relationships like that actually work out .. I'm so cinfused . Sometimes he texts me soo late , but it's because he plays a sport or the time is different here then there . But sometimes I feel like I'm not really in a relationship :(. Please help... </span></div>

Should I Let Him Go ?

I'm currently in a relationship , the bad part of it its that we are 1633 miles away from eachother .my sister told me to let go be...

Read more »

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this...

Read more »