It finally happened, I finally found someone I can actually be myself with and not be scared to hide the fact. I was madly in love with this girl and I finally proposed, she said yes. We’ve been together for a month and in that month I met some of her friends who were also in relationships (keep in mind, none of these people except for my girlfriend know I’m the founder of Relationship Rules). I noticed a lot of negativity in their relationships and they were majorly caused by the men in the relationships. So I decided to write a piece on this. You know what really makes me happy? Making other people happy. And there’s no better feeling in the world I know of than making the love of my life happy, when the woman of your dreams smiles and laughs because of something you did, that’s genuine and pure happiness that money can’t ever buy. It takes a little effort to get to know the person, to get to know what makes them happy and what makes them super happy! Every now and then, I bring back one of these things to let her know I care, because she has the most beautiful smile in the world. Here are a few pointers to making your lady happy. Let’s begin.
10. Don’t get frustrated during shopping
Women differ from men in a lot of ways, some are more obvious than others. I remember the first time I went shopping with her, I wanted to buy a pair of sneakers and she needed some shoes. I went straight into the Nike store and bought this one very nice pair of Air Jordans I liked. It took me hardly fifteen minutes to get them. When it was her turn to get shoes, we went to six different stores, spend almost 45 minutes in total and she still had no idea what to buy. Did I get frustrated? No. I appreciated the fact that she’s a woman, and no matter how much she loves me it doesn’t change the fact that women usually take longer than men in shopping. She kept asking me to take a seat in every store because she thought I was getting frustrated, I just smiled every time and tried helping her in her selections. Women appreciate small gestures, she still remembers to this day how I never complained when we went shopping for the first time. Understand the fact that they have certain habits that are going to stay that way, don’t try to change them or judge them based on those habits, appreciate the differences and love them even more for the differences. Oh and remember, women can NEVER have too many clothes, seriously.
9. Women care more than men, accept it
I learned this from my mother, her nurturing nature, it was incredible. She always made sure I was happy before her, I was fed before her, I smiled before her. My mother taught me this very important fact about women, that they care a little too much. That helped me be a better boyfriend to my lady. I recently had the flu, and she reminded me of my mother. She took care of me more than I wanted her to. Women are like that, appreciate it as much as you can. Women will take longer to think about sensitive decisions. Women will take everything a little too seriously, women will listen to each and every word you are saying while us men just try running through conversations. I’m not trying to say women are weak, I’m actually saying they’re so much more caring than men. I’m a guy and I find no shame in saying that. It’s not a competition, I care for her as much as I humanly can, but it’s in her nature to be that much more caring for me. When I try thanking her for being so caring, she obviously shuts me up and says “don’t thank me”, but she also smiles a little at the end, because she knows I appreciate her for everything she does to me, and that’s more important than anything.
8. Every woman is different
You need to understand that every woman is different. Don’t trust what you see in movies, don’t follow stereotypes. Some women are completely swoon by romantic gestures, some women like cute little things, some women want a very simple relationship. The thing you need to remember here is to NEVER compare your woman with someone else and say stuff like “why can’t you be more like her?”. Remember that you fell in love with her for who she was, who she still is, and NOT who you want her to be. Some women would love it if they got breakfast it bed, some women want to cook for you rather than you cooking for them. Some women love getting flowers, some women don’t like flowers at all (I’ve had similar experiences). Some women love chocolate, some don’t. Some women love bike rides, some hate leather jackets. Pay attention to what she loves and make sure she gets what she loves rather than being forced to like something she doesn’t want to.
7. Give her all of your attention
This is one of the simplest ones I can name right now but it’s actually funny how easily people skip this part because they assume it’s already happening when in reality it actually isn’t. Women love attention, especially from their significant others. It’s not that difficult, they can actually tell if you’re paying attention or just nodding your heads, just try listening. Listen to what they say, respond with all of your heart and they’ll know you care. Communication is one of the most vital parts of a relationship and you both need to work on it to make it last. It’s easy to lose touch with communication and it’s very difficult to get it back. Women need to know you’re there for them, that you actually listen to them when they have something to say. I know she’s reading this article so I’ll try making it a little subtle, my girlfriend is a little too caring when it comes to me so she always tries to keep me as happy as possible. And she thinks not sharing her problems with me (because she thinks I’m “busy enough with work” already) will keep me happy. So I always ask her if something’s wrong and if she has something to talk about, she hesitates at first but then she eventually opens up because she knows I won’t stop asking until I know what’s bothering her and I want her to know I’m always there for her. She always thanks me later for being so concerned and for giving her all of my attention and time. It’s one of the best feelings when she appreciates me. Pay attention, it’s not that difficult.
6. Enjoy her presence
Pick a certain day and make it more special than ever, take her on on a very romantic date, watch a movie with her, try cooking with her (I say try because I myself can’t cook at all, but I still try), watch her favorite TV show with her (no matter how much you really don’t want to), learn to enjoy her company more than usual. It’s very rewarding and it makes a relationship very strong and successful if you want nothing more but to spend just one more second with your significant other. When I drop her home, I always take the long route because I want her to be with me even if it’s for a few more minutes. Once you truly enjoy “hanging out” with her, you’ll know why some people say “I can’t live without her” and THAT’s what true love is.
5. Show every possible bit of affection
This one is going to make some people say “Well, duh!”, yeah I know, I would say that too, but apparently this point needs to be raised too because some people ignore it during the middle of their relationships and then complain later on why their relationships are going downhill. Show as much affection as you can, she’s a woman, she needs to be cared for more than you think. Again, I’m not saying women are weak in any way or men are stronger, I’m saying men need to love their women more, because this habit is slowly fading away. People nowadays take relationships too calmly, they think relationships are temporary and have to end anyway so why put in the extra effort. WRONG! Relationships are solely based on how you treat them, how you groom them, how much effort both of you put in them. So be loving, as loving as you possibly can be, or stay single.
4. Surprise Her
All women love surprises, men need to start surprising them more. She could wake one morning with her husband/boyfriend in the kitchen, cooking her favorite meal, she would never forget the gesture. Do things that they would never expect. Write her a love letter, because people don’t do that anymore, it makes it more unique and it takes a lot more effort to grab a piece of paper and write your feelings on it than just sending a text. Surprises keep the relationship growing, make a habit of giving surprises!
3. Go out of your way
My girlfriend had a tiring day at college and she was getting ready to go home, so I showed up when she was getting out, picked her up, took her to her favorite restaurant, had a very relaxing lunch with her and gave her a basket of her favorite chocolate, she was smitten! It’s not that difficult to get out of your way every now and then. Make sure they’re comfortable and take care of their needs, they might not ask you to. When I picked her up, I actually got scolded for driving all the way to her college, but being with her makes me happy and knowing that she had a tiring day just made me want to get up and show her a nice and calming day. As always, she kept thanking me afterwards.
2. Notice the little things
One time, I was very tired and had to take an hour long nap before a Skype meeting. So I asked her to wake me up. She woke me up in exactly one hour like I asked. When I looked at my phone, I was surprised and shocked and I had a big fat smile on my face. Right after I slept, she kept sending me very sweet text messages after every five minutes until I woke up. One of them was, “I love you and I know how hard you work and I support you with all of my life and love, wake up smiling please”. Right after I read them, I called her and told her how much I love and appreciate all of these little things she does for me. Women are very good with simple and deep gestures of love that most men just ignore, don’t be one of those men!
1. Compliments!
Your woman wants nothing more from you than complete appreciation. Women are more insecure than men, because men have a habit of making them feel that way. Always tell her she looks beautiful, always compliment her on her dress even if you’ve seen it on her a hundred times. I’m the sort of guy who doesn’t really like makeup and all that, so I always tell her to be natural because I love her that way. When we started going out, she thought I was only being nice, but she slowly understood that I actually meant it. Women are beautiful, in every way of the word. Look at your wife/girlfriend and tell her you love her more than anything, tell her she’s beautiful, tell her she’s amazing, tell her she’s perfect in her own way. Be the best man you can be! That wraps it up for this one, hope you guys learned from it. Some men might find this article “weak”, some men might tell me to “grow some balls and man up”, some men might think this article was written by a woman, I don’t really care about those men because they’re not men enough to take care of their women. My lady loves me because she knows the lengths I’m willing to go for her, it’s not emasculating to love. Stay blessed and spread the love!