5 Biggest Dont’S Of A Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbPWVu73FAcGJSDFPKlr4Ko9oo0aaxvFZroTgWQ-ovgTsGwCIoTQrdN5AvajuuNJIPOaFYwnxH3Dq8nQPTUeJBnqCe_ZY0_6_5VyBrbcMvj9Y7QWqJvsVYvZLVNl8QL6euyrGMWNS0NI/s1600/are-your-expectations-too-high-or-too-low-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqbPWVu73FAcGJSDFPKlr4Ko9oo0aaxvFZroTgWQ-ovgTsGwCIoTQrdN5AvajuuNJIPOaFYwnxH3Dq8nQPTUeJBnqCe_ZY0_6_5VyBrbcMvj9Y7QWqJvsVYvZLVNl8QL6euyrGMWNS0NI/s400/are-your-expectations-too-high-or-too-low-large.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> What if someone could give you a checklist of the things you are not supposed to do in a relationship? What if someone could just give you the key to all your problems? <span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5;">Here is a list of things that often cause problems in a relationship. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5;">Avoid those huge fights by following these simple things.</span></div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 5. KEEP THINGS PERSONAL</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> The biggest fights I have come to witness throughout my life is because of involving a third person in a couple’s personal matter. Be very careful when you discuss your relationship with a friend, it’s all right to share a few things with them to help you get clarity but not everything is right to share. You and your partner should have a few things between the two of you and you two only. Sharing the intimate details of a relationship causes people to take your relationship as something that can be commented on openly and when that starts happening to much that might at some point hurt your partner. So keep things personal!</div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. NEVER ACT ACCORDING TO HOW SOMEONE ELSE IS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> We often start taking too many advices from people who aren’t even in the same situation as us. In fact, we often listen to how other people talk about their relationships and start to look down upon our own. I have seen many of my friends listening to a girl flaunting how her boyfriend got her something, this would make them feel bad about their own relationships. People who were completely content with their relationships two minutes ago suddenly become insecure and unhappy. When this happens people tend to react in different negative ways, they don’t accept that they feel jealous or maybe they don’t feel appreciated.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Whenever you hear someone talk like that, listen, but at the same time remind yourself of all the things you have and they don’t. Be thankful and you will never feel unappreciated.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. TALK, DON’T SCREAM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> As small as this one seems it fixes a lot of problems. It is important that you and your partner define the lines not to be crossed in any argument. <em style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">Every duduk perkara in the world is solved through words.</strong></em> If eventually it has to be solved through words, why scream and yell at each other. Yelling makes even the most logical statement seem harsh and illogical. So make a point through your words and not your pitch. You will be surprised how easily things can be solved when you talk it out instead of yelling or fighting.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. THINK BEFORE YOU REACT, DON’T DO SOMETHING OUT OF ANGER</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Relationships are always challenged by misunderstandings. Do not give in to these misunderstandings and react without talking it out with your partner. I am sure you all have witnessed this somewhere in your life, misunderstandings can happen out of nowhere and that’s the true test of a relationship. You need to keep yourself calm and not accept something you know, superficially, as the whole truth. If there is something that has bothered you about your partner then confront them sensibly. Most things that you do out of anger will end up as a disaster.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Never ever take your partner for granted. When you do that, it is extremely obvious to your partner. Nothing will last forever if you keep assuming that without any effort or recognition your partner will stick with you. When you don’t appreciate your partner for the small and big things, they subconsciously start looking for the appreciation somewhere else. Why let your partner slip away from your own hands. Appreciate them and don’t take things that they do as their duty. If they decide to be caring, compromising and loving, they are doing it because they love you and they believe you deserve it so in return you should give them your appreciation equally.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> Talk to me</h3> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Have you made one of these mistakes in your relationship? Have you learned from them? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!</div> </span></div>

5 Biggest Dont’S Of A Relationship

What if someone could give you a checklist of the things you are not supposed to do in a relationship? What if someone could just give ...

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How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this...

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Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.   Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

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10 Ways To Build Loving Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img alt="THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship 10 Ways to Build Loving Relationship" height="316" src="https://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/Y9Rm_i3NF-KSh9tEEJJHXwMubGAv0Mhwsai8mPYXA9g/mtime:1438161330/sites/default/files/styles/header_slider/public/image_blog/Z_7.jpg?itok=pLRen4Vl" width="640" /><br /> <br />  <span style="background-color: white; color: #131313; font-family: "fselliot" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700;">THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship.</span><br /> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These are indispensable tips, written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family, and even work relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without fear. </span><br /> Don't interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don't make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you're too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Remember: your partner is not the enemy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">2. Separate the facts from the feelings.</span><br /> What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I'm seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What's the real truth?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Once you're able to differentiate facts from feelings, you'll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">3. Connect with the different parts of yourself. </span><br /> Each of us is not a solo instrument. We're more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your "gut" saying?</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> For example: My mind is saying "definitely leave her," but my heart says "I really love her."</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">4. Develop compassion.</span><br /> Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don't have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoguing respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">5. Create a "we" that can house two "I's." </span><br /> The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or herself — compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual "I" contributes to creatimg a "we" that is stronger than the sum of its parts. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">6. Partner, heal thyself.</span><br /> Don't expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don't try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">7. Relish the differences between you. </span><br /> The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don't need a relationship with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they're often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">8. Ask questions.</span><br /> All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners' behavior means. For example: "She doesn't want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore." We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what's not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">9. Make time for your relationship. </span>No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making "play dates" and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow. </div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #131313; font-family: FSElliot, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">10. Say the "hard things" from love.</span><br /> Become aware of the hard things that you're not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you're feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.</div> </div>

10 Ways To Build Loving Relationship

  THIS is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship. How many of us have learned how to build loving relatio...

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7 Things You Have To Face When You Love A Guy Who Just Likes You

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTqseBpxX__R3BqnqdQRLrFrxk0tKdU2A6a6IkcUhxIf9UEKtKaItakxcsXdyMUZdbZzC7mJMoI5htrnPBt60YTNPX9hCKoC85kU05G6B3r_lMxyF7fTrE-bWSCFlglCdxUfxcz1tuIho/s1600/shutterstock_250140205-333x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTqseBpxX__R3BqnqdQRLrFrxk0tKdU2A6a6IkcUhxIf9UEKtKaItakxcsXdyMUZdbZzC7mJMoI5htrnPBt60YTNPX9hCKoC85kU05G6B3r_lMxyF7fTrE-bWSCFlglCdxUfxcz1tuIho/s400/shutterstock_250140205-333x250.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Who wouldn’t love being worshipped by their guy? It’s fine even when he doesn’t exactly worship you, but still is immensely in love with you. But it’s troubling when you’ve fallen for him helplessly but he doesn’t quite feel the same way. You know he cares, and you know he’s interested, but what in the world is keeping him from getting to where you stand! You can be positively patient only for so long. After a while it’s going to nag at you like anything.</span></div> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">You’re going to be torn. The heart would say, wait for him; he’ll come around, while the mind would tell you to do the reasonable thing and give up. Plenty of fish in the sea. But when your heart is set on the one fish, you don’t want anyone else. You’d rather put yourself through the following things, than give up on him.</span></div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">1. You’re constantly looking for signs</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Those little surprises, cute texts and other affectionate things do not necessarily mean he is in love with you. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t interested in you at all either. Don’t look for things that don’t exist. It’s tiring and doesn’t really help the situation. He’s being good to you because he likes you and wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don’t read into things.</span></div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">2. You don’t like how they have the power in your relationship</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Since you’re the one who loves him, you’d always be conscious of his needs, wants and feelings. At times even more so than your own. But what about him? There is a pretty good chance that he might do the same things that you’d do for him. And it might not even bother him all that much considering he doesn’t feel the same way you do. His preferences could be very different than yours. And you’re the one whose feelings are always going to be at his grace.</span></div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">3. The expectations are at a minimum</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Anything he does, please you. You’d settle for being treated worse than you deserve. You won’t complain because in your eyes any effort, no matter how tiny is an effort nonetheless. When you’re accepting the way he treats you, you’re killing your self-esteem. You do realize that, but you don’t do anything about it. You hopelessly wait for him to come around and realize you for the gem you are. You could be disappointed, <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"><i style="box-sizing: border-box;">very </i></b>disappointed.</span></div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">4. You don’t know how long it will last</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">It could be days, weeks or months before he crosses over from like to love. There is also a chance that he never crosses over to the other side of the line. There is no guarantee. You might not want to end it because you’re in love with him, but he might at some point decide that it’s not going to work out. You’re entirely at his disposal. He could do whatever he sees fit, and there’s nothing you can do about it. These odds aren’t the best.</span></div> <h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">5. How for would you go to make him love you?</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">It’s one thing to invest your feelings in someone, and a whole other thing to invest a lot more than that. It could be your money, yourself and also forgetting that something like self-worth even exists. You need to learn to draw the line somewhere. You’re placing yourself in a vulnerable position. He could very much exploit you for the feelings you have for him. He knows that you can never say no to him and he just might take advantage of that in all possible ways.</span></div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">6. Closure isn’t something you can expect when things end</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do you end something that hasn’t even started? You will not stop obsessing over him if you guys break up. Because even when he is trying to get away from you, you’re still trying to find reasons to keep him around. He wouldn’t be affected much by it. To him you’re just desperately hanging on, and you’d get tired of it eventually. On the other hand you’ll drain yourself emotionally and mentally to make sense of the whole situation. It might take you a really, really long time to find peace after breaking up with a guy you love but who doesn’t reciprocate the love.</span></div> <h2 class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;">7. The what-ifs</b></span></h2> <div class="p1" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <span class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box;">When you’re in love with a guy who simply likes you, the relationship can be torturous. But the torture doesn’t end with the relationship. The break up is followed by a series of never ending what-ifs. What if it had actually worked out between the two of you? What if you would’ve done things differently? What if they had only given it a little more time? And so on. </span></div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">If you’re presently in a relationship like this, you need to set things straight. Don’t let him walk all over you. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve and never ever sacrifice your dignity for anyone. You can’t help hoping for things to work out, but don’t let it get out of hands.</span></div>

7 Things You Have To Face When You Love A Guy Who Just Likes You

Who wouldn’t love being worshipped by their guy? It’s fine even when he doesn’t exactly worship you, but still is immensely in love wit...

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10 Traits That Matters On How To Be A Good Boyfriend

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://www.mjemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blackcouplediscuss.jpg" style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;" /></h2> <br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be the guy your girlfriend wishes you could be.</h2> <div> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a few things guys need to understand when it comes to knowing how to be a good boyfriend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> While men and women don’t really think along the same lines in a relationship, it’s rather simple to understand what it takes to keep a relationship happy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> For most men, intimacy is sexual companionship, while it’s just not the same for women.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> But if you can learn to see the world through the eyes of your girlfriend, you’ll be able to understand what it really takes to be a good boyfriend.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>How to be a good boyfriend</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the easiest ways to be a great boyfriend is to understand your partner and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> But for an easier way out, here are ten tips on how to be a good boyfriend that can help you make all the difference in your love life.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#1 Treat her like a lady</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Boyfriends aren’t born great. They become good boyfriends by knowing how to behave with women and the girl they love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the first steps in getting the admiration of a girl you like is to treat her like a lady.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Learn to be chivalrous and understand what it takes to make her feel special. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s easy to play nice until you get the girl, and treat her like you don’t care once the chase is over, but guys who do that will never be able to hold on to a great girl who’s desired by all guys. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#2 Respect her as a person</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> You can’t expect your girlfriend to do everything you want or behave the way you expect her to, just because she’s your girlfriend. Remember that she’s just your girlfriend, you don’t own her and shouldn’t expect her to behave like a trained monkey just because she’s likes you or you’re getting some action in bed with her.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, learn to treat your girlfriend with respect and pay attention to her needs. Don’t take her words lightly or ignore her advice just because she’s a ‘girl’. If you truly do love your girlfriend, you would respect her too.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> And if you can’t respect her, it’s obvious it’s not love that’s holding the relationship together.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#3 Remember the special days</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets a special occasion and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too. Try to make a conscious effort to understand your girlfriend and remember the special days if she’s indeed important to you. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#4 Be caring and affectionate</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> For men, what matters is physical intimacy and sex. For women, sex is equally important, but they do appreciate a lot of affection too. Just like sex matters to men, cuddles and affection matter just as much for women. Show your affection by spending time holding hands or sitting down in each other’s arms while having a conversation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> A warm hug and a few affectionate kisses mean more in love than wild sexual escapades. And it’ll help your relationship last longer too.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#5 Don’t take your girlfriend for granted</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend. In a great relationship, both partners have to understand the efforts of their lover and realize that every simple gesture is a sign of love and affection that should never be taken for granted.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Never ever take your girlfriend for granted or take a special gesture for granted. Instead, always learn to be thankful and appreciative of every single affectionate gesture.</div> <div id="menpost468x60" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.200000762939453px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; text-align: justify;">#6 Support your girlfriend when she’s in need</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> All of us need a helpful hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Your weekend games or your male bonding time may be important to you, but on a rare occasion that your girlfriend asks you for a bit of help, make sure you’re by her side. It’s always reassuring for a girl to know that she can depend on her man for a helpful hand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#7 Learn to apologize</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he’s not the one who’s wrong.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get egoistic and have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if it’s not your fault for the sake of the relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> P.S. You can always hint to your girlfriend that you’re still right when both of you are having a laugh after a few hours. It’ll help both of you sort your differences without getting blinded by anger or ego.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#8 Listen to her needs</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger. Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way men and women react to pain or anger.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Instead of getting angry over her behavior, realize that men and women are different in such cases and try to understand her mind without losing your cool. It’ll make her feel better, and you a lot more understanding over time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#9 Don’t try to dominate her</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching a favorite show or telling the girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to control a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after marriage and even more so if the man’s the sole breadwinner.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals. If you try to change someone, it’s not love that’s holding both of you together, it’s your insecurity and cowardliness. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#10 Push your girlfriend to be a better person</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, this is as good as it gets. You know your girlfriend better than anybody else, flaws and all. Most guys assume a relationship is all about being happy and in love, and having a great time in bed. But that’s not where love ends.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Help your girlfriend become a better person and help her overcome her flaws. When both of you try to make each other better individuals by overcoming each other’s flaws, you can achieve more happiness and satisfaction out of life. Learn to positively criticize your girlfriend and help her with her flaws at the same time. By helping her become a better person, she’ll love you and respect you a lot more.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>Always remember that knowing how to be a good boyfriend is easy, as long as you have the patience to look at the world through your girlfriend’s eyes and learn to understand her thoughts and her wants.</strong></div> </div>

10 Traits That Matters On How To Be A Good Boyfriend

Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be ...

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Ninetips For Building A Loving Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #222222; float: left; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img height="266" src="http://ioneblackdoctor.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/179133949.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="400" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These indispensable tips were written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"> <div id="mobile_ad_top"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself,breathe and “calm down.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <em>Remember: your partner is not the enemy.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <em><br /></em></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>2. Separate the facts from the feelings.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong><br /></strong><strong>3. Connect with the different parts of yourself.</strong>What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your ‘gut’ saying? For example: My mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,’ but my heart says ‘I really love her.’ Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>4. Develop and cultivate compassion.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>5. Create a “we” that can house two “I’s”.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to the creation of a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of <em>good fire</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>6. Partner, heal thyself.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>7. Ask questions when you’re unsure or are making assumptions.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>8. Make time for your relationship.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “playdates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.</div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> <strong>9. Say the “hard things” from love.</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.</div> </div>

Ninetips For Building A Loving Relationship

How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to ...

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