Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s1600/download+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s320/download+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children — especially if you’re a female entrepreneur?</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It makes sense, right? This is the only time in your life when you have no ties, no mortgage, no kids to support. This is the only time you can really do something ambitious, if you’re being practical.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let’s face it, you’re not ready anyway. You’re busy building your company, figuring out who you are, what you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And everyone around you agrees. Everyone!<br /> Now is the time to live ! (By which you mean building the next change-the-world company, of course.) You’ve moved to New York. Or San Francisco. Or Palo Alto. Or Boston. With the express purpose of building something.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a noble cause. There is nothing more professionally satisfying as building something. Something you love. Something you can “get behind.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But…<br /> There was this girl. This guy.<br /> Eh, fuck it. You’re busy. You have more important things to do. Changing the world is a full-time job and if you don’t do it now, when will you?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s the thing: I know you. You’re probably one of the many people I’ve mentored or hired. On multiple occasions, you’ve explained to me (as if I were your batty old aunt, but I’m not taking it personally) that you have no time to get to know anyone because you’re busy doing your work.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a complete fallacy. Work and relationships are not incompatible. (Ask Mark Zuckerberg.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’ll wager that there is something about big transient cities that distorts everyone’s sense of time. You become convinced that you have time for everything you find challenging, that your ultimate horizon is infinite. This is only the beginning for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But you don’t know how much time you have. And even if things go well for you, your time is finite. You can’t figure out your professional life now and your personal life later. (Unless you’re the rare thirteen-year-old entrepreneur, in which case, I might demur.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And here is why: As with coding and management and matters of finance and marketing, relationships have a learning curve. You learn the basics of “relationshiptiva” (note to copyed: yes, I made up that word): How to deal with sexual etiquette, mundane everyday things, scheduling, and appropriate meetings with close friends, and some equitable plan for who’s supposed to pay for dinner or wash the dishesthis time. These are basics. And if you’re learning them in your thirties, it’s going to be much harder.<br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because in a few years, however young you think yourself (how old is thirty, really?), you will be approaching midlife and you won’t be as adaptable as you once were. There are reasons for this, many of which are biological. Your body won’t respond the same way. You’ll have knee problems that didn’t exist when you were running sophomore track. You can’t stay out till 4:00 a.m. anymore, because now the same alcohol intake has somehow resulted in a hangover that’s a multiple of what it once was — and you will never ever have appreciated a nice soft pillow more. And if you think you can fend these things off with diet and exercise, you should probably buy a good solid book on the aging process or find a professional athlete over the age of thirty to talk to. They will speak of massage therapists and bone density and necessary nutritional supplements. You can mitigate these things, but you can’t entirely avoid them.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But that is not the point. The point is that thirty (or thirty-two, or thirty-five) is not the age when you want to be practicing serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You have to get beyond the basics  - the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You have to figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts (if you can — some are impossible), and how to deal with the inevitabilities that come your way.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And those inevitabilities are myriad: At some point, you and your partner will go through a period of disillusionment when someone else turns your head or your partner’s. Maybe you have an affair, maybe you don’t. At some point, one of you will have significantly more career success than the other. This will become a point of tension. As will the disparity in income that usually accompanies it. At some point, you will disagree on how to raise your child and you will each wield the child as the ultimate weapon in a battle of wills. (I’m just doing what’s best for our child!) And at some point, one of you will have a major life issue that costs you everything or close (cancer, financial ruin, miscellaneous crisis), and the other person will have to decide to commit to or not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s not a question of whether each of these things will happen; it’s a question of when. And if you do decide to spend a life with someone, you have to decide that you are willing to face all of these things and acknowledge that some of them could happen sooner than you expect.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are too important to learn how to face those issues at the last minute. You have to go through a few of them to know how to properly conduct one. You have to fail. You have to date a few terrible people. You have to be the asshole yourself sometimes. You have to learn how not to be the asshole. You have to spend tons of time together — so much time that sometimes you feel indistinguishable from each other and you find that both reassuring and disturbing. You have to have a vicious fight and know it’s not ending you and that you’re going to have to work to repair it and that the effort is worthwhile. These things take time.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m not suggesting, mind you, that you settle down in your twenties. I don’t envision you in a ranch home in the suburbs at twenty-six, feeding your toddlers Cheerios and pureed organic carrots and carting them to and from soccer practice in the family.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m just saying that it’s worth it to look at your romantic relationships nakedly. (Metaphorically, not literally. Unless that’s your thing — in which case, contemplate in the nude as much as you want.) Work at a relationship the way you work at your work. Spend the time. Make the effort.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You need the practice. You need to learn. Some of you can wait another ten or twenty years to do that. And some of you may be the rare bachelors and bachelorettes who have no intention of ever being in a serious committed relationship ever. But not most of you, especially if you’re envisioning a spouse and kids sometime before you can start collecting social security. You need time — and lots of it.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And you need to remember that work is not everything. I met my fiancé at work, which is not a way that Detached Professional Me would ever advise anyone to go about meeting people. Under the circumstances, we had to decide fairly quickly whether we were willing to get fired.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What was more important: the job or the relationship? We picked the latter. Fortunately, nobody got fired. But if I had been sent packing, I wouldn't regret it. Jobs are replaceable. People you truly love are not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I think it’s fair to say — with no scientific evidence — that deathbed wishes rarely include, “If only I had put another twenty hours a week in at the office! That slightly cleaner product release would have made all the difference.” But that guy, that girl? You might regret that.</div> <br /> <a name='more'></a></div>

Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that...

Read more »

Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s1600/download+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPjDXRbaEKBzaskXNrWxsunaijtk3DnCCJ3tq3rZ_vJIdQfbSy1_Lu-FscQGwobLZeFKij1wW-s_TlNwwJIaXxoZHH85yB4WNcUEg-0TRil_BHVYjwkqgdxt0MZhVCcHt0bQqQgdccSvw/s320/download+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children — especially if you’re a female entrepreneur?</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It makes sense, right? This is the only time in your life when you have no ties, no mortgage, no kids to support. This is the only time you can really do something ambitious, if you’re being practical.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let’s face it, you’re not ready anyway. You’re busy building your company, figuring out who you are, what you want.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And everyone around you agrees. Everyone!<br /> Now is the time to live ! (By which you mean building the next change-the-world company, of course.) You’ve moved to New York. Or San Francisco. Or Palo Alto. Or Boston. With the express purpose of building something.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a noble cause. There is nothing more professionally satisfying as building something. Something you love. Something you can “get behind.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But…<br /> There was this girl. This guy.<br /> Eh, fuck it. You’re busy. You have more important things to do. Changing the world is a full-time job and if you don’t do it now, when will you?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s the thing: I know you. You’re probably one of the many people I’ve mentored or hired. On multiple occasions, you’ve explained to me (as if I were your batty old aunt, but I’m not taking it personally) that you have no time to get to know anyone because you’re busy doing your work.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is a complete fallacy. Work and relationships are not incompatible. (Ask Mark Zuckerberg.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’ll wager that there is something about big transient cities that distorts everyone’s sense of time. You become convinced that you have time for everything you find challenging, that your ultimate horizon is infinite. This is only the beginning for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But you don’t know how much time you have. And even if things go well for you, your time is finite. You can’t figure out your professional life now and your personal life later. (Unless you’re the rare thirteen-year-old entrepreneur, in which case, I might demur.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And here is why: As with coding and management and matters of finance and marketing, relationships have a learning curve. You learn the basics of “relationshiptiva” (note to copyed: yes, I made up that word): How to deal with sexual etiquette, mundane everyday things, scheduling, and appropriate meetings with close friends, and some equitable plan for who’s supposed to pay for dinner or wash the dishesthis time. These are basics. And if you’re learning them in your thirties, it’s going to be much harder.<br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because in a few years, however young you think yourself (how old is thirty, really?), you will be approaching midlife and you won’t be as adaptable as you once were. There are reasons for this, many of which are biological. Your body won’t respond the same way. You’ll have knee problems that didn’t exist when you were running sophomore track. You can’t stay out till 4:00 a.m. anymore, because now the same alcohol intake has somehow resulted in a hangover that’s a multiple of what it once was — and you will never ever have appreciated a nice soft pillow more. And if you think you can fend these things off with diet and exercise, you should probably buy a good solid book on the aging process or find a professional athlete over the age of thirty to talk to. They will speak of massage therapists and bone density and necessary nutritional supplements. You can mitigate these things, but you can’t entirely avoid them.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> But that is not the point. The point is that thirty (or thirty-two, or thirty-five) is not the age when you want to be practicing serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You have to get beyond the basics  - the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You have to figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts (if you can — some are impossible), and how to deal with the inevitabilities that come your way.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And those inevitabilities are myriad: At some point, you and your partner will go through a period of disillusionment when someone else turns your head or your partner’s. Maybe you have an affair, maybe you don’t. At some point, one of you will have significantly more career success than the other. This will become a point of tension. As will the disparity in income that usually accompanies it. At some point, you will disagree on how to raise your child and you will each wield the child as the ultimate weapon in a battle of wills. (I’m just doing what’s best for our child!) And at some point, one of you will have a major life issue that costs you everything or close (cancer, financial ruin, miscellaneous crisis), and the other person will have to decide to commit to or not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s not a question of whether each of these things will happen; it’s a question of when. And if you do decide to spend a life with someone, you have to decide that you are willing to face all of these things and acknowledge that some of them could happen sooner than you expect.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are too important to learn how to face those issues at the last minute. You have to go through a few of them to know how to properly conduct one. You have to fail. You have to date a few terrible people. You have to be the asshole yourself sometimes. You have to learn how not to be the asshole. You have to spend tons of time together — so much time that sometimes you feel indistinguishable from each other and you find that both reassuring and disturbing. You have to have a vicious fight and know it’s not ending you and that you’re going to have to work to repair it and that the effort is worthwhile. These things take time.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m not suggesting, mind you, that you settle down in your twenties. I don’t envision you in a ranch home in the suburbs at twenty-six, feeding your toddlers Cheerios and pureed organic carrots and carting them to and from soccer practice in the family.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’m just saying that it’s worth it to look at your romantic relationships nakedly. (Metaphorically, not literally. Unless that’s your thing — in which case, contemplate in the nude as much as you want.) Work at a relationship the way you work at your work. Spend the time. Make the effort.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You need the practice. You need to learn. Some of you can wait another ten or twenty years to do that. And some of you may be the rare bachelors and bachelorettes who have no intention of ever being in a serious committed relationship ever. But not most of you, especially if you’re envisioning a spouse and kids sometime before you can start collecting social security. You need time — and lots of it.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And you need to remember that work is not everything. I met my fiancé at work, which is not a way that Detached Professional Me would ever advise anyone to go about meeting people. Under the circumstances, we had to decide fairly quickly whether we were willing to get fired.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What was more important: the job or the relationship? We picked the latter. Fortunately, nobody got fired. But if I had been sent packing, I wouldn't regret it. Jobs are replaceable. People you truly love are not.</div> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I think it’s fair to say — with no scientific evidence — that deathbed wishes rarely include, “If only I had put another twenty hours a week in at the office! That slightly cleaner product release would have made all the difference.” But that guy, that girl? You might regret that.</div> <br /> <a name='more'></a></div>

Why You Cannot Afford To Push Relationships Into The Future

Are you in your twenties? Are you an entrepreneur? Have you been told by your friends, your advisors, and your professional peers that...

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10 Things Women Do That Guys Hate

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JA8NhZsyz1zO2VdxzKTIX0NXUA_f8GDXbLU0YCaea7HEpIqPvS8h6yl3T88QUGwF94Wyo5YPgNX2ZRKCT_5yp_HMkrMzbxjcH_9hx4s4tyTM6SBjTyJzI4RPrtVaMM0y-z40tg5weKA/s1600/dating-advice-640x381.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JA8NhZsyz1zO2VdxzKTIX0NXUA_f8GDXbLU0YCaea7HEpIqPvS8h6yl3T88QUGwF94Wyo5YPgNX2ZRKCT_5yp_HMkrMzbxjcH_9hx4s4tyTM6SBjTyJzI4RPrtVaMM0y-z40tg5weKA/s400/dating-advice-640x381.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Ladies, we don’t love everything about you. We have a lot of turn offs along with our turn ons. Check out the ten things women do that guys hate.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 10. When She Can’t Take A Joke</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Okay, don’t get me wrong, intelligence is a big turn on for me, but not when it is the only thing That is there. Having a good sense of humor is integral for every relationship from both ends. If one side is funny and the other isn’t, both sides will suffer greatly and a lot of different mood Swings will occur. Ladies, if you’re the serious type, try to loosen up a bit for your man because He hates it when you can’t take a joke. Be funny, be lively, be spontaneous.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 9. When She’s Too Much Of A Drama Queen</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> It is completely normal for girls to randomly feel sad sometimes, but not all the time. If it is a habit of hers to find drama in everything and to cry every chance she gets, She needs to look into those matters and fix them because no guy will be that Patient. Guys work their best, good guys at least, to make sure their ladies are happy And content, but even they give up if they cry any chance they get.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 8. When She Always Takes Too Long</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Believe me, us guys have things to do too. It’s okay if the ladies take more than a few to get ready Every now and then, but every time? No. It is cute the first three times and then it gets old and Annoying, quite frankly. Speed up that beautification process next time you have your man waiting On something important. Think of the guys for once, ladies, you’re beautiful as it is – no need to Spend hours making sure of it.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 7. When She’s Too Overly Attached</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> And we take the lovely Overly Attached Girlfriend Meme into account here. Ladies, it’s very sweet and Cute if you’re sensitive about your guy and you care about how he’s doing and how his everyday Routine is, but it is NOT cute if you ask him about every single second of every single day of his life With you. Don’t suffocate him, just like you, guys need their space too. Let them be comfortable with Their friends and family and they will automatically be comfortable with you in return. And here is a picture of the lovely Laina Morris.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 6. When She’s Too Jealous</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> It is natural for girls to be jealous of their men, but it could also get annoying if it is for all the Wrong reasons. Your boyfriend went to hang out with his buddies, one of his buddies had His girlfriend with him, and she struck up a simple conversation with your boyfriend, that Is perfectly normal and you SHOULD NOT be jealous of that fact. This goes both ways, Trust each other enough to make each other feel comfortable in your own ways.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 5. When She Gossips Too Much</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Nobody likes a gossip monger, period. If you have that habit, of talking behind people’s back all The time, your boyfriend will start keeping a certain distance from you. It is a big turn off for guys If their girls are so involved in everyone else’ life that they forget their own and moreover forget They have a guy to take care of. A little gossip doesn’t hurt anyone, but keep it civil and limited.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 4. When She Still Talks About Her EX</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> There is a difference between thinking about how bad your past was and always thinking about Your past. Guys don’t like it if their girls keep bringing up their EX in every conversation they Have, which is very obvious. Being clingy to the past will make your guy worried about your Loyalty that you think about your EX too much maybe you want him back. Avoid talking about Your EX all the time.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 3. When She Complains Too Much</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Your guy might not be perfect, but he might be trying to improve himself, there is no need To throw a tantrum every time you spot a mistake in him. Remember, when you fell in love With him, you fell in love with his imperfections too. Just because he forgets to make the Bed every morning, doesn’t mean you start complaining about it at that very moment and Ruin your mood and his.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 2. Too Much Of A Gold Digger</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Gold Diggers, they go as fast as they come. Guys, make sure you know who you’re Committing yourself to before you make the big move. Sometimes, you might give Off the wrong impressions and she might end up asking for more things that You might not be able to give her which might lead to a lot of fights and discomfort. Keep a transparent relationship when it comes to money and other things and lead A better love life.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 1. When She Talks To Her EX</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> This is the epitome of hated things. If a girl is still in contact with her EX, it is not going to be Taken lightly. Ladies, make sure you cut off all past relationships before committing to the next One before you end up hurting him. It is the most hurtful feeling any girl could give a guy, when She talks to her EX, even as friends it doesn’t matter. Just don’t do it.</div> </div>

10 Things Women Do That Guys Hate

Ladies, we don’t love everything about you. We have a lot of turn offs along with our turn ons. Check out the ten things women do that...

Read more »

How To Reduce The Pressure Of The First Date

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLH-X9v3WePD73wpP4Iz3rFPw7YxkbsXSm4QJqitW2hEa5N-rVa8vbDc6E0w4_bwmOpBeQsgASuzSs8IA8ZDCn4joNzPWm1sIzfqpCOw87wgcCZ-NxdMgqsURmEC0pGclw0Gzx9BU52Hs/s1600/tip.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLH-X9v3WePD73wpP4Iz3rFPw7YxkbsXSm4QJqitW2hEa5N-rVa8vbDc6E0w4_bwmOpBeQsgASuzSs8IA8ZDCn4joNzPWm1sIzfqpCOw87wgcCZ-NxdMgqsURmEC0pGclw0Gzx9BU52Hs/s400/tip.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Whether you’re 25 and fancy free or 65 with grown children, first dates for the majority of people are <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">pressure moments</em>—a situation in which you have something at stake and the outcome is dependent on your performance.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When pressure is your chaperone, you become overly self-conscious, anxious, a poor listener, and abrupt speaker, and poor judgment that causes you to be unlike a “gentleman or lady.” Pressure makes you unattractive — it’s the opposite of your Fairy Godmother. And while performing under pressure does not guarantee love at first meeting, it does increase the chances that there will be a second date. Then, anything is possible. Here are the 4 most common first date pressures and how to reduce them so you can be your best when it matters most.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. The Pressure to Look Good</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Pressure on first dates is created by wanting to be attractive to others and uncertain if you will be. Most try to reduce this pressure by enhancing how they look via their dress or hairstyle. These “attractiveness boosters” help but physical appearance only takes you so far. It’s more effective to reduce first date pressure by <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">switching your focus</em> from how you <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">look</em> to others to how you <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel </em>about yourself.  Prior to the date, remember your assets, reaffirm your self worth, and look for fun. You’ll feel more confident and positive and your own experiences will confirm — as do many studies — that people who are positive and confident are attractive to others.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Date Place Pressure</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Dates, like battles, can be won and lost because of location, and choosing the wrong location can turn a date into a battle. Where to go becomes a pressured decision and decisions made under pressure are usually bad. Reduce <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right place pressure</em> by remembering that nature guides you to seek an empowering environment so you can flourish. Be considerate of your date, but take more time to think about what type of location allows you to be authentic. A restaurant you can’t afford doesn’t. Even if your date doesn’t choose the meeting place, if you are relaxed and authentic, you will be having fun and most likely he or she will too. Case in point is that most people try to reduce this first date pressure by selecting a place his or her date would like. A hot place might be impressive to your date, but it could also prevent you from having a charming, fun conversation, let alone hearing one. A celebrity chef restaurant might be impressive, but the expensive hidangan makes you jittery, especially when ordering!</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Conversational Pressure</strong></div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Conversation is a natural and spontaneous occurrence, but when it comes to a first date, people feel pressured to do it “right.” Topics to discuss or not, what information to share or keep private, often turn into worry. Nobody wants a dating aftermath to be, “I never should have said that. I was boring, and we had nothing to talk about. I was too quiet, and I sounded silly.”</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Most people reduce conversational pressure by increasing their awareness to what they will say and how they say it and before the date, deciding what they will not disclose, like past relationships, or financial status.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You can reduce conversational pressure by expressing your thoughts and feelings about the topics you discuss in the moment. Thoughts and feelings represent intimate levels of communication—they are your uniqueness and add color to the conversation. Sharing them makes you more interesting to others and knowing their thoughts and feelings make them more interesting to you.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s easy to integrate thoughts and feelings into your first date conversation. Just preference your statements with “I think…I feel.” Instead of giving details of your job, express your thoughts and feelings about your job –your date will learn a lot more about what makes you tick.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Encourage your date to share his thoughts and feelings too and refrain from evaluating them – that would add pressure; rather ask for more of his thoughts and feelings so you make the conversation even more authentic. The goal is to have a first date conversation that helps you feel connected. If you do, you will want a second date. If you don’t, you don’t.</div> <div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ProximaNova, Calibri, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Because it’s a hardwired human need to want a relationship, first dates are important to us. Your most effective way to reduce the pressure is to remember that a first date is not a do or die situation, but an <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">opportunit</em>y to have <em style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fun</em> and meet someone that can enhance your life and even if it doesn’t work out, there are always more dates to come. When you date along these lines, you’ll feel less first-date pressure and enjoy yourself when it matters most!</div> </div>

How To Reduce The Pressure Of The First Date

Whether you’re 25 and fancy free or 65 with grown children, first dates for the majority of people are  pressure moments —a situatio...

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Seven Things That Are Important To Men

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <img height="425" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/207659/slide_207659_663714_free.jpg" style="text-align: left;" width="640" /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px;">it can be rather difficult to build successful relationships with men. That is due to the fact they are absolutely different from women. If you really want to understand men, I should say that simple communication is not enough. There are lots of books available about men and their psychology. Perhaps you’ll be surprised to find out some interesting things about women that are important to men. I recommend you to get acquainted with these things if you want to avoid numerous misunderstandings with your man. Here are some of them.</span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 1. Respect</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> One of the greatest things that really matter to men is respect. They do everything possible in order to be respected by their friends and colleagues. When a guy sees that he is not respected enough by others, he suffers greatly. Moreover, lack of respect may even lower his self-esteem. When it comes to relationship with women respect also should be taken into consideration. We usually don’t pay much attention to this thing, but those girls who give boys respect will win over.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 2. Appreciation</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> I was amazed to discover that almost all men can’t live without appreciation. They constantly need compliments on their achievements. The only thing you have to do is to be grateful to a man and his happiness will be endless. He will experience the same feeling as you do when hearing about his love. Just say a few compliments to your guy and you will see the difference.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 3. Your Smile</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> Do you know that your smile is fantastic? You can charm everybody with it, especially your man. Let him enjoy the warmth of your happy smile. Surely, every man wants to have an optimistic woman in his life who will always share her positive emotions with him. If a girl is happy that means she has a loving and caring boy. By showing your happiness to your guy you’ll give him an opportunity to understand how good he is. Remember that such small thing like your smile contributes greatly to your relationship with the one you love.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 4. Time to Think</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> The fact is that men don’t think very quickly. When some great events happen in their life, they need extra time to process everything. Every time your man has to make a serious decision he will always hesitate and think it over for a long time. As a rule, it takes him much time to consider all pros and cons of the situation. As for women, they always know what they think of the issue discussed.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 5. You Look Beautiful</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> It doesn’t mean that your guy will grudge when he sees you wearing your favorite pajamas at home. However, it will bring him more pleasure to watch you looking your best. But you shouldn’t use a lot of makeup or buy the most expensive and stylish clothes. Actually, being beautiful is not looking like a top model. Natural beauty is much more appreciated than anything else. Your sweetheart will be happy to know that you make efforts to look amazing only for him.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 6. Compliments on His Work</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> Another thing that matters to your man is your praise for his work. Try to compliment him whenever he deserves it. If a guy works hard to achieve success, your appreciation will certainly motivate him for greater results. No matter what your husband or boyfriend does, your compliments will cheer him up. Moreover, you can improve his mood with your pleasant words.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 28px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 40px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; text-align: justify;"> 7. Your Laugh</h3> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> You can be sure that your laugh influences your man in the same way as your smile does. Without a doubt, your laugh has a magical effect on your close people. It is the brightest sign of your joy and happiness. If you smile and laugh a lot, your guy will always feel comfortable with you. I’m convinced it’s impossible to build a happy and successful relationship with a man if he often sees you dissatisfied and unhappy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> It is obvious that you should be aware of your man’s likes and dislikes, things that make him happy. In such way you can reach a mutual understanding with the most precious person in your life. Bear in mind all these things when you communicate with your sweetheart. Which of them do you find the most effective? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;"> <br /></div> </div>

Seven Things That Are Important To Men

it can be rather difficult to build successful relationships with men. That is due to the fact they are absolutely different from wome...

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Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="http://thyblackman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/blackmaneatingfruit.jpg" /></div> <ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #404040; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 20px 3em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Separate from Mama.</strong> – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust that you and she are a united front. She must not fear that you will go behind her and talk negatively, especially to your mom. When you and your wife speak to your mom, it should be as one flesh, not competing teams. Your mom is usually going to fight in your corner, right or wrong. This will cause serious problems in your marriage. I love my mom and she is precious to me, but YOU leading your family is the best way to gaji her, not the other way around.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Balance the extracurriculars.</strong> – Living life in Sportsman’s Paradise can get busy. Louisiana has everything a man could ever want with regards to the outdoors. My boat and I were closer than my former wife and I at one time. I was perfectly happy leaving her home with the kids to go “tear ‘em up” somewhere in the Lake Pontchartrain waters. The persoalan with this is when it’s done in excess. You really need to take a look at why you fish, hunt, play video games, go to sports bars, etc. Are you doing it because it’s fun or are you getting away from your wife? It’s easy to fall into this trap because it’s easy to justify “harmless” activities. After all, you’re not out drinking all night with other women, so it’s not <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</em> bad. The persoalan is that your absence at home is felt by your wife and the kids. Keep your extracurricular activities in check by communicating about them with your wife. Too much passing the ball or too much running the ball will make it easy for the defense to game plan against your marriage. You need balance!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Kiss <em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> first.</strong> – When you see your wife for the first time after a day of work, kiss her first. If you’re coming home from work or a long day out – put your keys down, drop your bag on the floor and lay one on her! There is nothing that makes mamma feel better than knowing you are thinking about her. Hitting the door with the intent to connect with her immediately sets the stage for positive energy throughout the evening and shows the kids that their parents are secure in their relationship.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Boys Night Out” (AKA: Bachelor Parties).</strong> – I mean – C’mon man! There is nothing that kills a good thing with your wife like a “boys night out”. Back in the day, I was a partying force to reckon with. “Boys night out” usually implied alcohol, taxi cabs, strip clubs and vomit. If this is how you roll with the boys, then I suggest you re-examine your priorities. You may not know it, but your wife is probably scared to death the whole time you’re out. If you want to go hang out with your friends, don’t involve excessive booze at nightclubs. Take some responsibility as a husband and make sure your wife approves. A good question to ask yourself is, “If my wife were here, would she be offended?” (This tip goes for the ladies too.)</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Reject Passivity.</strong> – When something is happening that you know isn’t right, step in. Passivity will kill your family’s faith and trust in you in times when circumstances demand your intervention. There were so many times in my first marriage when my passivity ended up defining my role in my home. This can’t happen. Now – rejecting passivity does not mean that you need to be a dictator in your home. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, not like Ike loved Tina!</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Your wife did not grow up in your house</strong>. – 6 months after my first marriage began, we were in marriage counseling. I was 100% sure it was all her fault. The counselor listened to each of us plead our cases, and after hearing what I had to say, she got very strong with me in her response. My biggest complaint was “This isn’t the type of environment I grew up with in my house. It’s not the way I do things.” My counselor was quick to point out that my wife did not grow up with me or my family. She was thousands of miles away living a different life and didn’t even know I existed. She said, “How can you possibly expect her to understand ‘how things were in your house’ when you met her only a year ago at the age of 27? And why do you expect her to act like your relatives?” She was right. Far too often we think things will immediately “mesh” and that we’re above the communication problems. Understand that you and your wife are building a <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">new</em> life together, and it will always be in progress.</li> <li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Own her decisions.</strong> – I admit, being married to my wife is like a spiritual roller coaster. She is plugged in to Jesus! Her extreme spirituality leads her in places that are sometimes not familiar to me. She respects my role as the head of our family and when issues arise that are major, it’s my job to make the selesai decision. (And ladies – before you get up in arms about the “balance of power”, she will be the first to tell you that she prefers it that way. The burden is taken off of her shoulders by allowing me to bear the responsibility of the heavy family issues.)  Even though many of the ideas are not mine, I am the leader of my house and therefore the decisions to take action are<em style="border: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> all</em> mine. If decisions like these fail, you should never blame your wife. You should own it and learn from it.</li> </ol> </div>

Seven Keys To A Happy Wife

Separate from Mama.  – Men, you are married to your wife, not your mom! When family matters invade a marriage, your wife needs to trust ...

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