7 Things Men Really Really Want In A Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgczr6TqnYCoH_M-TPTGulpDvCZV28yUnRP7w01gES6IaW-MBfBFNOe3l2Z2pK_5MIYtoHo_sq7V-0TCEAGNULu2l5lcXOx0rmeWy_aUO4lKy8KXS43fGN80hQkzm6TrmQseH62-GPtD68/s1600/Black-Man-Smiling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgczr6TqnYCoH_M-TPTGulpDvCZV28yUnRP7w01gES6IaW-MBfBFNOe3l2Z2pK_5MIYtoHo_sq7V-0TCEAGNULu2l5lcXOx0rmeWy_aUO4lKy8KXS43fGN80hQkzm6TrmQseH62-GPtD68/s400/Black-Man-Smiling.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <span style="font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6;">Open any beauty magazine and you'll see article upon article about what women want in relationships and how to get that. But there's rarely a space for men to express their relationship needs. Thanks to MindBodyGreen for creating that space. Here are 7 things that men really want in a relationship.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">1. To feel like your hero</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>We don’t want to be your Clark Kent. We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us as leaping tall buildings in a single bound and catching bullets. We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. Or at least feel that way. And I know it’s our job to get there, but nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible. If you make us feel invincible, we’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">2. Acceptance</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>There’s a new T-shirt trending Los Angeles titled “Love Me Anyways.” They should make them for men. Because we NEED to feel that when we stack the dishes in the dishwasher like a five year-old, say the wrong thing in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up, get too logical, forget something you’ve said a thousand times, that you love us anyways. Because inside every man is a boy who forgets he’s a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Unconditional support from our woman is what will snap us out of our boyish behavior and inject us with a desire to be a stronger man. Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">3. Not to be left in the dark</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>So many women don’t tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they’re afraid. The truth is when you don’t express yourself, you leave us in the dark. We don’t really know the truth of you. You are prepackaging and presenting parts of your life instead of doing your whole life with us.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Couples grow and get stronger overcoming adversity, not by doing life separately. Know that every time you hold things in, you are building walls inside the sacred space of the relationship. No, we don’t want you to verbally vomit on us. But believe it or not, we really do want to know who you truly are.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">4. Blinders sex</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>There’s sex. Then there’s blinders sex, the kind of sex that gives you blinders, keeps your eyes forward and intentions straight when you’re out in the world. Let’s face it. Men are going to look. They’re like squirrels. They get distracted by shiny things. But there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Blinders sex gets men to say, “Yeah, she may be pretty but I would never trade in what I have for anything else.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Blinders sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique connection with someone that makes you fantasize about them in the shower, call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and eating Oreos. It produces glue that cannot happen with anyone else.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">5. The C-word</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>Communication. Without it, relationships are built on sand. We want you to communicate directly. We don’t get clues. We need things spelled out. And we understand that if you have to spell it out, it’s not the same. You don’t just want us to do the dishes. You want us to want to do the dishes. We get it. OK, then tell us. Explain. Model how you would like us to communicate back.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> For many of us, communication is not our specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, men tend to pull from a logical place. Women pull from an emotional place. If you can meet us at logic, we will will match your emotions. Hopefully. But we need you to tell us.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">6. Sweat</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"></strong>There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner. Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. We get to see the raw and real you, a different type of naked. Now, if we do this together, we’re in the act of building something, a lifestyle. We’re not just talking. We’re doing. And that’s hot.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">7. To have our own lives</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> We may not say it, because how do you tell the person you love to get a life? But we really want you to have your own life. Really. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions. Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.</div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 2rem; margin-top: 2rem; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;"> Because if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg. Also, if you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you. Forget legs. Let’s put our relationship on wheels. One is yours. One is mine. And together, we’ll ride.</div> </div>

7 Things Men Really Really Want In A Relationship

Open any beauty magazine and you'll see article upon article about what women want in relationships and how to get that. But there&#...

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The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how they’ve never really come to real happiness in their relationships especially with the opposite sex.</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Such persons could not explain why it is difficult to find happiness in others contrary to their believe or what they’ve been fed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being happy in a relationship requires one key step before anything else. This step is so important that it cannot be skipped, for anyone wanting to enjoy his or relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let me start by saying that you can’t possibly be happy just because you are in a relationship. I’m not saying relationships do not radiate joy, No! Far from it, I’m simply saying the principal way to happier relationships with others is the one you first have with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is difficult some times not to hurt others, however, we hurt ourselves more when we do not express love to ourselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you have not loved yourself genuinely, you re never going to find happiness from others you are seeking it from. You must first take adequate care of yourself and by that, I mean not getting frustrated at slightest hurt or provocation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you stressed out? Do you feel constantly irritated at people’s behavior? If yes, then you need to drop the idea of finding happiness in other people. You must deal with these issues and get rid of them. You are to love your neighbour as yourself, how can you love another person when you have not loved yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="ud7a5959060c83edeada3fdde0dcbe1ac" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/10-important-traits-healthy-relationship/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here are some practical steps to take in achieving self love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Feed Your Mind With Positive Thoughts<br /><br /></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having quality and positive thoughts is one way to attain self happiness. Desist from negative thinking or bottling irrational thoughts in your heart. It’s a sure way to be frustrated and burned out easily. What you feed your mind with determines the level of self confidence you will exude. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. The things we experience daily in this country are frustrating enough, do not add negative thoughts to them.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <b style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">2. Spend Some Time Alone</span></span></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The company of friends and loved ones is sure good, however, a greater avenue to ease tension and get relaxed is to spend some quality time in a quiet place devoid of noise and distractions. You can go sightseeing of natural habitats, such as cool and serene environment or water bodies. Get fresh air, relax your mind and body and you are on your way to replenishing your energy.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Stay Active</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Apart from enhancing adequate blood flow to all parts or the body, regular exercise enhances mental alertness. 10-15 minutes daily exercise keeps you active with a feeling of joy radiating all over you. By so doing, you attract others who are themselves happy.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Play</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having fun is part of life, it cannot be exchanged for anything. No matter how busy your schedules are, create time to enjoy yourself. Engage in those things you find joy in doing. Visit the movies, treat yourself to a special dinner…simply have fun. Happiness attracts happiness, watch as people queue up to be around you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="u4269dc50e5cd5604f5857e98313e1baa" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/7-simple-things-you-should-be-doing-in-your-relationship-but-probably-arent/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Just Be Happy</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Smile for any accomplishment, no matter how little. Appreciate those that have been nice to you, being nice in present day Nigeria is a lot of effort. Bask in the euphoria of your breakthroughs and success.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, be very assured that hooking up with another person is not going to guarantee you happiness if you are not already a happy person. Know the person you are and enjoy your company first. If you can’t figure out you, you cannot have thorough knowledge of someone else, neither can you find joy in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, if you want to be happy in relationships, get a life! Good life, I mean.</div>

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how the...

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The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how they’ve never really come to real happiness in their relationships especially with the opposite sex.</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Such persons could not explain why it is difficult to find happiness in others contrary to their believe or what they’ve been fed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being happy in a relationship requires one key step before anything else. This step is so important that it cannot be skipped, for anyone wanting to enjoy his or relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let me start by saying that you can’t possibly be happy just because you are in a relationship. I’m not saying relationships do not radiate joy, No! Far from it, I’m simply saying the principal way to happier relationships with others is the one you first have with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is difficult some times not to hurt others, however, we hurt ourselves more when we do not express love to ourselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you have not loved yourself genuinely, you re never going to find happiness from others you are seeking it from. You must first take adequate care of yourself and by that, I mean not getting frustrated at slightest hurt or provocation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you stressed out? Do you feel constantly irritated at people’s behavior? If yes, then you need to drop the idea of finding happiness in other people. You must deal with these issues and get rid of them. You are to love your neighbour as yourself, how can you love another person when you have not loved yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="ud7a5959060c83edeada3fdde0dcbe1ac" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/10-important-traits-healthy-relationship/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here are some practical steps to take in achieving self love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Feed Your Mind With Positive Thoughts<br /><br /></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having quality and positive thoughts is one way to attain self happiness. Desist from negative thinking or bottling irrational thoughts in your heart. It’s a sure way to be frustrated and burned out easily. What you feed your mind with determines the level of self confidence you will exude. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. The things we experience daily in this country are frustrating enough, do not add negative thoughts to them.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <b style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">2. Spend Some Time Alone</span></span></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The company of friends and loved ones is sure good, however, a greater avenue to ease tension and get relaxed is to spend some quality time in a quiet place devoid of noise and distractions. You can go sightseeing of natural habitats, such as cool and serene environment or water bodies. Get fresh air, relax your mind and body and you are on your way to replenishing your energy.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Stay Active</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Apart from enhancing adequate blood flow to all parts or the body, regular exercise enhances mental alertness. 10-15 minutes daily exercise keeps you active with a feeling of joy radiating all over you. By so doing, you attract others who are themselves happy.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Play</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having fun is part of life, it cannot be exchanged for anything. No matter how busy your schedules are, create time to enjoy yourself. Engage in those things you find joy in doing. Visit the movies, treat yourself to a special dinner…simply have fun. Happiness attracts happiness, watch as people queue up to be around you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="u4269dc50e5cd5604f5857e98313e1baa" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/7-simple-things-you-should-be-doing-in-your-relationship-but-probably-arent/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Just Be Happy</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Smile for any accomplishment, no matter how little. Appreciate those that have been nice to you, being nice in present day Nigeria is a lot of effort. Bask in the euphoria of your breakthroughs and success.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, be very assured that hooking up with another person is not going to guarantee you happiness if you are not already a happy person. Know the person you are and enjoy your company first. If you can’t figure out you, you cannot have thorough knowledge of someone else, neither can you find joy in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, if you want to be happy in relationships, get a life! Good life, I mean.</div>

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how the...

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25 Tips On How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/bigstockphoto_african_american_couple_with_h_2380099.jpg" style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Looking for ways to make your boyfriend happy?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well, that’s a really sweet gesture.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> After all, one of the most important aspects of a relationship is the ability for both partners to look for new ways to keep each other happy all the time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Wanting to make your boyfriend happy is very sweet of you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> And you’ll know just how to do that right here.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> But always remember the one thing that makes love so special.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s mutual. And it should never be one sided.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t ever go out of your way to make someone happy, unless they’re doing the same for you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’re looking for ways to cheer up your boyfriend after a bad day,</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>How to make your boyfriend happy every day</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to know how to make your boyfriend happy everyday in little ways that can help him realize how special and wonderful you are, use these 25 ways.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#1 What first attracted him to you?</strong>Enhance that. If it’s your hair, your smile or your perfect body, look for ways to let him see more of it so he remembers just how awesome you are.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#2 Help him with his life.</strong> Guys behave manly, but sometimes, they’re all a mess in their personal lives. Motivate him and help him achieve his goals by talking about his dreams.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#3 Indulge in romantic gestures.</strong> There’s nothing that can feel more special than a sweet gesture out of the blue. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#4 Don’t make him feel insecure.</strong> Guys hate feeling insecure. And instead of acknowledging it or accepting that they feel insecure, they’ll act cranky or start avoiding you. It’s a guy thing. Avoid making a guy feel insecure and he’ll love you more. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#5 Don’t let him take you for granted.</strong> Insecurity and taking someone for granted are exact opposites. If he feels too secure, he’ll start to take you for granted. Avoid being too accommodating for him or he’ll get bored of you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#6 Ask for his help.</strong> Ask for his help at the right times. By asking for his help the right way, he’ll feel better about himself and appreciate you more. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#7 Hug him tight for no reason. </strong>Guys melt like butter when it comes to sweet affectionate moments. He may not always initiate it, but if you run up to him and hug him tightly out of the blue, he’ll love the way you feel in his arms.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#8 Indulge in PDA.</strong> Most guys don’t care about public display of affection. But they love it when their sexy girlfriend clings to their arm or kisses them on the cheek in public. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#9 Let him know about other guys you meet.</strong> You may meet a lot of guys now and then. But whenever it’s possible, let him know about the guys you meet. If he ever bumps into another guy with you, he’ll feel more confident and secure if he already knows about that guy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#10 Always give him first preference.</strong> Don’t ignore him when there are other guys around. This is one of the biggest things you need to remember if you want to keep your boyfriend happy. Make him feel like your man and he’ll appreciate you more.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#11 Let him know you trust him.</strong> Have faith in your boyfriend and let him know you trust him. When a man knows his woman trusts him, he gets more attached to her and takes more initiatives to keep her happy.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#12 Be willing to experiment in bed. </strong>Guys love a girl who can be a freak in bed. But if you’re not ready for something, you really don’t have to bother with it. If he loves you, he’ll understand that you’re not ready. And there are so many things to try anyways! </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#13 Tease your boyfriend.</strong> Don’t always give in too easily. You’ll be boring. Make him work for you and any sexual favors. It’ll make him respect you more and take you seriously, which matters a lot in love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#14 Give him his space. </strong>If you want to make your boyfriend happy, learn to give him his space. Men need some time off everyday just to be by themselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#15 Be his shoulder to lean on.</strong> Hold his chin up for him when he’s down. Instead of talking about his mistake, help him overcome it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#16 Don’t prolong a fight.</strong> Fights and arguments in relationships can tire both of you and leave both of you feeling hurt and miserable. Try to sort out any differences as soon as possible.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#17 Look good for him.</strong> Guys are immediately attracted to a girl who looks good. Your boyfriend is no different. Dress well and look sexy when you’re with him and you’ll make his day.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#18 Wear sexy lingerie in bed.</strong> If both of you share an intimate relationship with each other, learn to dress well and look like a sex goddess in bed. His awkward grin will never disappear! </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#19 Get along with his friends and family.</strong> Girls spend a lot of time with their girlfriends, but guys share a deeper bond with their own friends. Try to get along with the friends he likes and make them like you back for the warm and friendly person you are.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#20 Be a guy when you have to.</strong> As girly as your guy may want you to be, he would love a girl who can tie her hair up and behave like a guy when she has to. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#21 Compliment him.</strong> Guys love a compliment. Be genuine and tell him about what you like about him, sexually, physically and mentally. He’ll always remember it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#22 Make him feel special.</strong> Remember his important days and tasks, and remind him about it beforehand. Do something nice for him out of the blue like cooking him a fancy dinner or buying a good looking tee shirt for no reason at all.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#23 Don’t put him down in front of others.</strong> Guys have huge egos, but they’re extremely fragile too. If you constantly put him down in front of others or insult him, the first thing he’ll do is run into the arms of another girl who treats him better.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#24 Give a good blowjob.</strong> Guys like their girlfriends to be talented and bold in bed. You can be coy everywhere else, but in bed, show off your moves and let him know how dirty and sexy you can really be. </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.52em; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong>#25 Be a fun girl.</strong> Have a cheerful approach to life and look for ways to have a laugh. Be spontaneous and cheerful around your boyfriend and it’ll definitely make your boyfriend happy.</div> </div>

25 Tips On How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy

Looking for ways to make your boyfriend happy? Well, that’s a really sweet gesture. After all, one of the most important aspects o...

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The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="single-featured-image" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </div> <br /> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy</h1> <div class="social-share-container"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="266" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-768x513.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Fotolia_71242957_S.jpg 848w" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></div> <h3> <br /></h3> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">“I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can honestly say that I do my best to be a good husband…I care about what my wife thinks of me asa husband and father.” ~Sal<br /> “It scares me to admit this, but I’d be totally lost without my wife. She’s my best friend and she tells me that I’m hers. Making her happy is everything to me…” ~Luis<br /> “You only hear about the guys who are abusive or cheat, but how about the tons of men who are faithful and kind?” ~John<br /> These are some of the messages several men shared with me while discussing their thoughts about intimacy, their partners and spouses. Before long, a theme arose:<br /> What especially bothered these men were the rampant myths that go unchallenged in society about what men really want from marriage or a long-term relationship.<br /> <br /> <strong>Myth 1</strong>: Men do not value intimacy and emotional connection.<br /> <strong>Myth 2</strong>: Men are motivated to control and tell women what to do (and therefore prefer passive women).<br /> <strong>Myth 3</strong>: Men only want sex (rather than emotional connection).<br /> <strong>Myth 4</strong>: Men do not care about their partners’/spouses’ feelings.<br /> <strong>Myth 5</strong>: Men would rather spend time with their guy friends than their wives/girlfriends.<br /> <br /> Let’s take a closer look at the first myth, the one that claims that men do not value emotional closeness. This myth arises out of the difficulty some men have with emotions: in particular, expressing and sharing their feelings. This reality is partly rooted in the way in which many men are socialized. Emotional self-expression is not considered an important and useful trait for many men—therefore young boys aren’t given the psychological tools needed to identify and appropriate express their feelings.<br /> <img alt="" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-5284" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Truth-About-Men-Love-and-Intimacy.jpg 424w" style="margin: 5px;" title="The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy" width="300" />Of particular importance is the way in which fathers (and other male mentors) act as role-models for their sons. While many fathers are becoming more comfortable with their sons’ emotional lives, some fathers continue to hold the expectation that once their male child hits a certain age, this emotionality will give way to stoic self-control.<br /> All too often these fathers are perpetuating what was handed down to them by their own fathers—a type of intergenerational legacy of difficulty tolerating and expressing emotions.<br /> <strong>Why are feelings difficult for men?</strong><br /> Feelings of vulnerability (tenderness, sadness, fear, feeling “less than,” embarrassment and shame) conflict with the ideal of masculinity—central to this ideal is the trait of control and <em>masculine strength</em>. Men value power and in the arena of love, power and strength equate to being able to take care of your loved ones.<br /> As the requirements of marriage and intimate relationships change and men are asked to be more emotionally available, the guiding questions for many men are:<br /> <strong>How can masculinity and vulnerability exist side by side?</strong><br /> Do I need to totally abandon the traits of masculinity I value in order to be a good husband and/or father?<br /> Unfortunately, the mentality that emotional vulnerability equates to weakness is alive and well in many cultures and held by too many men. This deep-seated attitude is often triggered in relationships that require and demand greater intimacy. Faced with the challenges of intimacy, men may shut down and withdraw, rather than allow themselves to feel confused and emotionally impotent.<br /> But men still value connection!<br /> Difficulty sharing emotions does not necessarily mean that emotional connection isn’t important to men. Think of it this way: You can deeply enjoy music and yet not know how to play a musical instrument.<br /> How men go about creating connection has less to do with emotional sharing and more to do with actions that validate their masculine identity–providing for their loved ones, tangential giving that leads to concrete results.<br /> <em>As Roger recently said:</em><br /> “My wife didn’t like the color of our bedroom and when she was out with her sister, I painted the entire room her favorite color. I couldn’t wait to see her reaction. When she got home she gave me this big hug and I felt like a million bucks…”<br /> In other words, Roger felt emotionally connected to his wife. He experienced intimacy through doing for his wife, rather than emotional expression.<br /> For the men who feel most at home in the familiar but constrictive strait-jacket of hyper-masculinity, there are significant hurdles to overcome as they attempt to adjust to the new requirements of love and marriage. But for many other men, self-expression and emotional intimacy are seen as long-overdue and a welcome addition to what relationships can offer. These men have long realized that messages that continue to perpetuate the stoic, need-to-be-in-control, warrior mentality are as detrimental to men as they are to women.</section></div>

The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy

The Truth about Men, Love and Intimacy “I’ve been married for over twenty years. I know I’m not perfect, but I can hone...

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Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_181341694_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <div style="text-align: left;"> Fresh off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in Washington DC, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop with John Gottman.  Dr. Gottman is a dominant figure on the relationship research and couples therapy scene since the mid 80’s, when he began observing couples fighting in his “original couples laboratory,” dubbed the Love Lab.  His findings provided some of the scientific underpinnings of what we know about what maintains and erodes intimate relationships.</div> </div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody">The Love Lab has been given new life and a new name; the Gottman Love Lab Experience is now being offered as “the world’s first science-based relationship evaluation service,” measuring three primary important areas of your relationship; friendship, conflict and shared meaning.<br /> Along with this cutting edge assessment opportunity for couples who are able to make it to Seattle, Washington, he is also offering therapists a new online tool, the Gottman Relationship Checkup, providing the ability to receive a score reviewing couples strengths and vulnerabilities, with feedback for possible treatment suggestions.<br /> From a recent study Dr. Gottman conducted of 40,000 Relationship Checkup participants, he has new data.  I compiled some relationship research nuggets on heterosexual couples from his presentation.  You might find some of the results surprising!<br /> <strong>For how many couples in therapy is at least one partner considering an exit?</strong>   66%<br /> 82% of couples are having problems with <strong>loneliness in the relationship</strong><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-11014" height="200" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fotolia_176639190_XS.jpg 424w" width="300" /></a></div> <strong>What About Problems with Intimacy and Sex?</strong><br /> Romance 83%<br /> Sex Quality 55%<br /> Sex Frequency 49%<br /> <strong>How many partners had problems with trust?</strong>   66%<br /> <br /> <strong>The Top 3 Things Couples Fight About</strong><br /> 86% Not having fun anymore<br /> 76% Finances<br /> 74% No emotional connection<br /> Speaking of conflict, the biggest obstacle to productively navigating conflict in relationships is flooding.  This means the heart gets to 100 beats per minute which makes it nearly impossible to communicate from a calm, grounded place as your physiology will get the best of you.  In fact, when flooded, communication can be erratic, irrational and possibly damaging to the relationship.  The antidote is self-soothing or helping each other soothe, if possible.  Sometimes leaving the situation (in a structured time out) is the best thing a couple can do for a relationship.<br /> <strong>96% of couples are flooded during conflict</strong><br /> Though I didn’t catch all of the numbers Dr. Gottman shared at his presentation, particularly the gay and lesbian stats, what I did notice was a trend demonstrating that compared to heterosexual couples, they did a much better job with conflict and communication.<br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <strong><em>“As far as interaction, gay and lesbian couples really have a lot to teach heterosexual couples.” </em></strong></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> – John Gottman</div> Something to think about.  I will leave you with one more nugget and it’s an important one to consider for those who are struggling in married or long term relationships:  The #1 predictor of divorce is contempt.  If you are calling your partner names, assassinating their character or hitting below the belt in other ways…and you would like to save your relationship, please seek counseling for help.</section></div>

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know

Study: Top 3 Things Couples Fight About and Other Things You Should Know Fresh off attending the 2018 Psychotherapy Networker Sympos...

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Ten Dating Tips To Follow

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; clear: left; color: #363127; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <img src="http://betterafter50.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/online-dating-tips.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <br /> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:</div> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Top 10 Dating Tips</b></div> <ol style="background-color: white; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.</li> <li style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 30px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 2px;">Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away. </li> </ol> <div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #363127; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;"> <br /></div> </div>

Ten Dating Tips To Follow

Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. N...

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20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> 20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fotolia_40455924_S.jpg 849w" width="640" /></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <strong>Richard Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve your relationship, noting that it usually doesn’t just “happen” but requires effort to be sure it gets adequate attention.  </strong></div> Let’s face it: there is a staggering volume of marriage/relationship help advice out there. Any Internet search on the topic will give you page after page of relationship “How to’s” and “What not to do’s.” Depending on your perspective, this can be either good news (the easy availability of helpful information) or bad news (trying to navigate the overwhelming maze of relationship tips).<br /> The truth is, there is also a great deal of overlap in what is being said about how to strengthen a marriage/relationship—and while some authors are more eloquent in how they get this information across than others, often the underlying message is consistent. This is good news. The repetition in marriage/relationship advice suggests that there are important hard-and-fast principles that couples should pay attention to.<br /> So rather than searching for the golden goose that will magically send you down the path of marital or relationship bliss, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and give your relationship the attention it deserves.<br /> <br /> <strong>20 Relationship Tips:</strong><br /> <ol> <li>Couples need to set up a <strong>clear boundary</strong> around their relationship—this boundary involves saying “no” to the influences that can undermine your relationship.</li> <li>Healthy marriages/relationships require <strong>balance</strong> between having shared couple-experiences that will feed the relationship while at the same time nurturing their individual interests and pursuits.</li> <li>Without a clear expression of <strong>commitment</strong> to the relationship, trust and emotional security will suffer. A strong relationship foundation is built on mutual commitment.</li> <li>Direct, <strong>clear communication</strong> should always be a top priority.</li> <li>Being <strong>attuned to your needs</strong>, wants and desires is the first step in getting them met—when you’re unclear about your own needs, how can your spouse/partner ever meet them?</li> <li>Not everything needs to be discussed, analyzed and “processed” between partners. Letting go, <strong>giving your partner the benefit of the doubt</strong>, and practicing forgiveness will go a long way in creating a fulfilling relationship.</li> <li>Words have the power to build empathic bridges between partners, and <strong>words</strong> also have the power to hurt and create a wasteland of distance between you. Choose your words wisely.</li> <li>Important issues that are repeatedly ignored, minimized or go underground will resurface with a vengeance. A healthy relationship requires <strong>facing uncomfortable issues</strong> from time to time.</li> <li>Like a wildfire, emotional wounding and defensiveness can spiral out of control and quickly consume a relationship.  Couples need to be <strong>mindful of the negative cycles</strong> that arise in their relationship.</li> <li>Deliberately <strong>creating positive experiences</strong> and interactions between the two of you (while facing the uncomfortable issues that need to be addressed) should be an ongoing priority.</li> <li>Emotional intimacy and closeness are built upon both partners being consistent, <strong>emotionally available</strong> and responsive to one another.</li> <li>Expecting to get all (or even most) of your needs met whenever you want is like expecting the weather to change based upon your whims and preferences.  Unrealistic <strong>expectations</strong> lead to unhappy marriages/relationships.</li> <li>For some, emotional closeness is a prerequisite for sexual intimacy; for others, sexual intimacy leads to <strong>emotional intimacy</strong>.</li> <li>Passion and <strong>fulfilling sex</strong> often needs to be talked about, planned and negotiated (a lack of sexual spontaneity isn’t necessarily a sign of marital/relationship problems).</li> <li>What makes you feel loved and <strong>emotionally connected</strong> may be very different from what makes your partner feel loved and emotionally close. Communicating and understanding these differences can go a long way in improving your relationship.</li> <li>Certain differences between your and your partner’s <strong>communication styles</strong> and emotional expressiveness need to be accepted. You can’t make an introvert outgoing, and likewise, don’t expect an extrovert to happily sit home every evening.</li> <li>Friendships are built on joint activities and common interests. In addition to being lovers, couples need to <strong>learn to be friends</strong>.</li> <li>Couples who actively practice <strong>gratitude and appreciation</strong> feel a deep sense of connection with one another. It’s too easy to simply focus on what bothers you about your mate while ignoring why you fell in love with him/her in the first place.</li> <li>While a relationship obviously takes two committed people, one person can make a difference in improving the overall <strong>quality of the relationship</strong>.</li> <li>Fulfilling, healthy relationships are co-created, not found. Couples who <strong>work together</strong> (at keeping their relationship strong) are more likely to stay together.</li> </ol> While it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the information presented in this article, remember that you can pick one or two items from the above list and began implementing them into your relationship right away. As a marriage/couples counselor, I’ve seen couples make big differences in their relationship with a simple and relatively small change—the goal is to be consistent and persistent with whatever positive change you’re trying to make.</section></div>

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves

20 Relationship Tips: Give Your Relationship the Attention it Deserves Richard Nicastro, PhD explores specific ways you can improve ...

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How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this...

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