5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex

<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh07tg3iaVzTzyvwakhkw2IzEBOangusKp0Yi6HQ61VUbYb_b924KUqFKpQlST6joul69QH8q8T37Ifz_OP5sSPrDZ1e3QhF7yJ4c6K_osoOQZX93p6O24EyielKfa9ifRRzZX0rlhaYow/s1600/how+to+stop+comparing+yourself+to+his+ex.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt=" stop comparing yourself to his ex girlfriend 5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex" border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh07tg3iaVzTzyvwakhkw2IzEBOangusKp0Yi6HQ61VUbYb_b924KUqFKpQlST6joul69QH8q8T37Ifz_OP5sSPrDZ1e3QhF7yJ4c6K_osoOQZX93p6O24EyielKfa9ifRRzZX0rlhaYow/s1600/how+to+stop+comparing+yourself+to+his+ex.png" title="5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex" width="312" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;">So you're in a new relationship, everything is going well and you want to know a little more about your boyfriends past. Maybe he brings up that he was in a past relationship or you ask him if he's dated someone before. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Before you know it, you see all your boyfriend's pictures popping up on Facebook of him with his ex as a happy couple, <b>and doubt starts to creep in.</b></span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You start wanting to know more about her, what she was like, how and why the relationship ended and before you know it you find yourself comparing yourself to her and how your relationship is different now to when they were together.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It's natural for anyone in this situation to compare themselves to an ex-partner but <b>it's very unhealthy for your relationship and yourself</b> if you keep comparing yourself to your boyfriends ex.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">Read Next: 15 Signs You're Relationship Isn't Working</span></a></span></span><br /> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><span style="color: black;">These are the reasons why you need to stop comparing yourself to your boyfriends ex.</span></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1. You're Making Yourself Insecure</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Ok so maybe his ex-girlfriend is tall, skinny, pretty with long hair. That shouldn't matter because he's with <i>you</i> now, right? No. By comparing yourself to her you'll start to think she's better than you or she has a nicer figure or she is way more beautiful than you and you'll start to wonder why your boyfriend is even with you instead of her.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You have to realise that <b>your partner has chosen <i>you</i></b> and you are the person he wants to be with, not her. It's easy to compare yourself to other people but all it does is damage your own self-esteem and make you insecure about things about yourself. Stop looking at their Facebook, don't think about them and remember that their ex is out of the picture now.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2. You're Bringing Doubt Into The Relationship </b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you compare yourself to his ex and feel insecure in doing so, you'll start to think you're boyfriend is crazy for being with you and not them. You might begin to doubt that he's definitely over her or maybe you think that he still has feelings for her, because you feel like you're not as good as her in some way. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">By comparing yourself to an ex, you're only filling your head with doubt and making things hard in the relationship for yourself. </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3. Comparing Yourself To Other People In General Is a Bad Idea</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>One of the worst traits to have is self-comparison.</b> It's so easily done but comparing yourself to others only leads to feeling worse about yourself and feeling like you aren't enough or you haven't accomplished enough. </span>You should never compare yourself to others because it distracts you from working on yourself and can demotivate you if you think someone is more successful or superior to you in some way. This is is them same in relationships and it's very unhealthy to compare yourself to an ex-grifleind who was once in your boyfriend's life.</div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4. You're Making Yourself Paranoid</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">By comparing yourself to his ex, you're only going to make yourself paranoid that you're not as good as her in some way. You'll start to wonder if she was funnier than you, if he was happier with her, maybe he still misses her or wonder if they had a better connection. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Remind yourself that their relationship didn't work out and <b>they broke up for a reason.</b> He's chosen <i>you</i> now and that's what you should focus on.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">Read Next: Signs You Need To End Your Relationship</span></a></span></span><br /> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <br /> <div class="mailmunch-forms-widget-614785"> </div> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <b style="font-family: "avenir next condensed"; font-size: 38px;">5. It Will Negatively Affect Your Relationship </b><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 25px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 19px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you keep stalking their ex on facebook and can't get the thought of them out of your head, you'll start to behave negatively around your boyfriend in your relationship and trust issues may start to develop. You'll become more concerned about his past relationship than your own. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Don't torture yourself by comparing yourself to his past.</b> You'll end up becoming distant in your relationship which may affect your own feelings towards your boyfriend.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Focus on yourself and how you feel in your relationship. Enjoy your time with your boyfriend and remember that you're very important to each other and you've chosen to be with each other over everyone else and an ex shouldn't get in the way of that.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">Read: 15 Signs That You Need To End Your Relationship Now</span></a></span><br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <br /> Pin it for later:</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_XNqNLoL9SNKbvKMvWcgBOPcDjepVjwS5ZE69eCa-2n_Pb_dPZ-j6-_T546R5ybmNOiRmk_Puish6A8Ku8r9lG-AWxm4a7-VgTxozigKmC435CJJ34SBxUNbG1niUrttE5QkPIuaYGc/s1600/how+to+stop+comparing+yourself+to+his+ex.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" stop comparing yourself to his ex girlfriend 5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex" border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_XNqNLoL9SNKbvKMvWcgBOPcDjepVjwS5ZE69eCa-2n_Pb_dPZ-j6-_T546R5ybmNOiRmk_Puish6A8Ku8r9lG-AWxm4a7-VgTxozigKmC435CJJ34SBxUNbG1niUrttE5QkPIuaYGc/s1600/how+to+stop+comparing+yourself+to+his+ex.png" title="5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex" width="195" /></a></div> </div>

5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex

So you're in a new relationship, everything is going well and you want to know a little more about your boyfriends past. Maybe he brin...

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9 Biggest Must Dos In Your Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dU07b0dc9oF2PPdrr1D5L9UA1hyphenhyphenLJ9f5jNGVovmIyCI0Ad0xzYcPI171JrEE65ACzfFCxvvD3jJg6MPsf7MqaXBYxTMRuWKl5ZB5X60r12MwGA60WlfP4Ald3GqFjGemGQjDk39vwq4/s1600/coupledating.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dU07b0dc9oF2PPdrr1D5L9UA1hyphenhyphenLJ9f5jNGVovmIyCI0Ad0xzYcPI171JrEE65ACzfFCxvvD3jJg6MPsf7MqaXBYxTMRuWKl5ZB5X60r12MwGA60WlfP4Ald3GqFjGemGQjDk39vwq4/s640/coupledating.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <br /></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Every serious relationship demands a couple of things, without them a relationship will begin or continue to have problems. If you want to ensure a healthy and happy relationship, these things listed below are a must-do to ensure your partner is happy and more in love than ever.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 9. EXPRESS</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> We have all heard this and it’s something we all already know but at times even though we know it we often forget the importance. We feel that we have done enough to express our love towards our partner and we start taking it for granted that our partner already knows that we love them. This is where things start to go wrong. Remember, It is never ever enough. You have got to keep on expressing in various ways, every day, to express your love to your partner. May it be a sticky note on the fridge or a kiss on the cheek, a compliment or giving your jacket to her on a cold night or watching his favourite sport with him! Just express in your special little ways.</div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 8. LISTEN AND BE HEARD</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Always be there to listen to your partner, whatever they have to say. Relationship is more than going out, having fun and being physical. Meaningful relationships are built on words and moments of silence you’ve spent with each other. Be the first one to ask your partner how there day has been, don’t just ask but listen carefully. Give your advice according to your understanding so your partner notices that you are taking interest. Similarly, share about your day, tell them details so they can be a part of your day as much as you are.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 7. TRUST THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> There is no relationship without trust. Often people find a relationship worth holding on to after various unpleasant experiences and that’s why many a times they have issues in trusting their partner. Learn to push your bad experiences behind you, in the past, where they belong and learn to trust your partner. Don’t get into a relationship unless and until you trust them completely.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 6. HELP THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When people say ‘be there for your partner’, they actually mean that you need to help them! Help them physically, emotionally, mentally and every which way possible. Whether it’s about fixing a chair or fixing your partner’s emotional state, you’ve got to help them because only you have been given that power by your partner. When they say they love you, that means they love every bit of you and everything you do, so be confident when you take a decision to help them in some way. Believe in yourself that you can fix whatever is wrong in their life.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 5. SURPRISE THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> It’s important to have the element of surprise in your relationship. It makes both of you to look forward to spending time with each other. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a new dress or an expensive cologne. It could even be something a lot simpler, like cooking for your partner after they have had a long tiring day.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Drawing a bath with candles and flowers for you and your partner to relax in or it could be as spontaneous as arranging a gaming night for your man and his friends. There are a thousand ways you can surprise your partner, you’ve just got to have that will every once in a while.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. APPRECIATE THEM</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Again, even though you think your partner already knows how much you appreciate them, still do it.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Even if you have said it before, say it differently again. Everyone likes compliments and being appreciated throughout their lives. Have you ever heard of someone saying “I’m done with all the appreciation in my life, I don’t want it anymore!” No!… right? So always tell your partner how much you value the efforts and things they do for you.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. CHECK WITH THEM WHEN YOU BOTH ARENT TOGETHER</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> One thing I personally love is that after all these months, in fact almost a year, my partner often messages me at work to check how my day was going also if I took lunch, makes my day. Initially I thought this is something that happens in every relationship and after a few months it stops since you both gradually stop practicing it but the fact that she still does it makes me feel loved and cared for. Also, it makes me believe some things never change. Do that with your partner, it matters.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. HAVE A DAILY PRACTICE OF YOUR OWN</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Make a habit of something. Like I and my partner will never leave the house without a kiss and it’s the first thing we do when either one of us comes home. It’s our little practice and it’s something we take very seriously. Such practices are silent promises of a relationship that mark the continuity and the strength of a relationship. Whether It’s going for a walk every night or watching TV together, make a habit that involves the two of you, together.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW LUCKY YOU ARE</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> This is the most important thing that every person should do. At the end of the day when you lie down on the bed, recall every small thing your partner does that many others don’t do in their relationship! Be thankful for those things cause what you have today many don’t.</div> </span></div>

9 Biggest Must Dos In Your Relationship

Every serious relationship demands a couple of things, without them a relationship will begin or continue to have problems. If you wa...

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Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <ol style="font-size: 18px;"> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://www.responsys.com/blogs/nsm/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/customer_relationship.jpg" /></div> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Until that time–foster the virtue of friendship and hold off the romance until you are really ready for it.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Only enter into a courtship with a man whom you would consider marrying.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">A woman might consider “just” dating any guy that she’s attracted to as long as she has no sense of long-term commitment. The duduk kasus arises when she’s grown attached to him after a period of time and can’t bring herself to breaking off the relationship, even when it’s not good. She may end up marrying a man that she otherwise would not have. Set the stakes higher–only court with a man you’d consider marrying.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Enter a courtship to discern whether or not you are called to marriage with a certain man.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is dating with a purpose. If you know that you would not consider marriage with this man, or you are not ready to consider marriage yet, then don’t enter into a courtship. Stay friends or acquaintances for the time being. Courtship is about prayerful discernment, which means you will decide either that God is not calling you to marriage with this man or that He is not. Both outcomes are valid in a courtship!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Take time through prayer to discern God’s will.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">You need to foster prayer in your lives individually and as a couple. You can not know God’s will without prayer.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Base your courtship in the family:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. This is so important–for if you do end up married, you’ll want to get along. Family is an invaluable resource and such an integral part of who we are. You will learn much about each other by seeing how each other relates to family members. And your family, in turn, can give you much insight about the man with whom you are courting (and his family, about you!) Family sees things we don’t always see. Love can be blind at times–family (and friends) can really help to correct our vision. If you are far from family, make every effort to get home and spend time with them. And in the meantime, adopt a family (friends from Church, for example) to provide for you all the benefits of a family-based courtship.</span></blockquote> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Items 6 – 15 deal with setting guidelines for yourselves from the very beginning of your courtship. (If you’re starting over–changing from a dating relationship to a courtship model–then begin now with guidelines.) The following points will cover areas you should consider in those guidelines.</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Emotional Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Guard your hearts and do not dive emotionally into a courtship relationship head first. Give yourselves time to learn about each other. Do not open up all your intimate secrets, desires and longings to each other immediately–just because you are courting. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. Keep the mystery alive by not revealing everything all at once. The duduk kasus with “dumping” on each other emotionally early on in a relationship is that if you later discern that you are not called to marriage you could have many regrets over having shared those intimate thoughts and secrets with someone who will not be your husband. You need to be honest with each other, but that does not mean you have to reveal everything right away. As the relationship grows, you will discover a natural pace for sharing those emotional intimacies.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Physical Intimacy:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Decide what your limits will be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage–every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time–you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">To kiss or not to kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you going to allow for kissing or not? Kissing is NOT a sin. It is not bad. It does not mean that a couple is less virtuous in courting if they allow for kissing. It is a decision you make as you set your guidelines. So think through the reasons why you would choose to allow for it or not!</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that first kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Many couples decide to leave kissing out of their relationship–as kissing has the power to ignite their passions. They choose to wait until the altar for their first kiss. They also might be coming out of past relationships–where they are struggling to keep control over their passions. They might be coming from a position of never having been kissed before, and now that they’ve waited this long–they want to go all the way with it! There are a variety of reasons why some couples choose this path.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Saving that “next” kiss:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Other couples, who have allowed for kissing in their relationship, sometimes decide to cut it out and wait to have their “next” kiss at the altar–which could be quite a wait! But they’ve seen how kissing is stirring passions that are making it harder for them to stick to their goal of staying pure in their relationship.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Kissing with limitations:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Some couples allow for kissing–but they limit how and when and where–which is wise if they want to keep it from stirring those passions that can be so easily ignited.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Hugging:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Are you allowing for hugging–and in what context? Hugging is a completely acceptable and beautiful expression of affection, support and love. However, prolonged hugging—while all alone and at times when you might be feeling weak (like late at night)—can stir passions. Just be careful that you are guarding the context well so that it doesn’t begin to undermine your good intentions.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">How, where and when you spend time alone:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">During courtship you obviously will want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to temptation is weakened. It’s best to find time alone together while doing something–going for a walk, cycling, canoeing, playing sports, taking in a show or going out to a restaurant, etc.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Avoid the near occasion of sin.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is not to say that a couple who is courting will only stick to their goal of purity if they are NEVER alone together . . . as if to say the only reason they resisted temptation is because they never went near temptation. But there is a teaching that exhorts us to “avoid the near occasion of sin”. We should not deliberately put ourselves in temptation’s way. Hopefully, any couple who makes these resolutions–even if they were given the opportunity to break them–wouldn’t break them, because they are persons of integrity! But we are all weak at times. All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure Satan will be watching for it) for you to make a mistake that you could regret for a lifetime.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Don’t give rise to scandal.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But what if we’re not being tempted? Why wouldn’t it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation together–for example staying late over at one or the other’s apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The duduk kasus a couple faces here–even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation–is the impression they are giving to others. “So what?” You may ask. “Let them gossip–what do we care? We know we’re not doing anything wrong!” When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives others a sense of it being okay to not embrace purity in their own relationships. They’ll be thinking, “After all, they’re doing it and they’re a nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn’t make any difference if we do or don’t.” Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren’t. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ by your good example. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal. </span><br /><br /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Accountability:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. Make a list together of your resolutions and guidelines for your courtship and give that list to some mentoring couples and accountability partners. These could be your parents, other married couples from Church, friends, roommates, family members. Basically you are looking for people you trust and respect to be able to talk with openly about your relationship. They should be able to ask you at any time how your are doing–if you are keeping your resolutions–and you need to be able to answer them honestly.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Mentoring:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Along with this idea is the need for mentoring couples–ideally that would be your parents, but it is not limited to parents. These couples should be well-versed in the Church’s teachings on marriage and the sacraments. They should be couples who can advise you on all kinds of issues related to marriage: finances (especially tithing), family networking, Natural Family Planning and the gift of human sexuality, balancing work and family life and so on.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Time to pray and time to play: </span><span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Obviously prayer time is important for a couple who is courting–as they are trying to discern God’s will for their relationship. But a couple should never neglect to be sure to allow for play time! Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with excitement and adventure. Don’t forget to make time to play.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Keep the romance alive:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don’t cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance by seeking ways to give of yourselves to each other, to serve each other and to show your love for each other in simple ways. Romance–true romance–is about blessing the other by giving of self . . . and that’s what true love is about, too. So you see, the two go hand in hand. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point–because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship. By converse, couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time on their hands to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other and together–blessing each other with their loving deeds and gestures as often as they can.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">Be active in your faith community:</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together–and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will become for you that community that celebrates with you in times of joy, consoles you in times of grieving, and that lifts you up you in times of hardship. We cannot live in isolation–we need that community to be there for us, which means, we need to be there for them as well. Be involved, have fun taking in events and activities together, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. These opportunities to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how each other deals with a variety of situations and other persons . . . and are great opportunities to dedicate your time and talents to the Lord.</span></blockquote> </div> </li> <li class="style25" style="font-family: Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div align="justify"> <div align="justify"> <blockquote> <br align="justify" class="style25" /><span class="QuestionBodyItalicsGreen" style="color: #003a00; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;">There is a great deal that can be said about courtship.</span> <span class="QuestionBody" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And each family will establish their own model–sometimes a different model for the varying circumstances of each child. What is import is that you discuss these things in the family and when the time comes in your life for courtship you will be prepared with an excellent game plan!</span></blockquote> </div> </div> </li> </ol> </div>

Twenty Tips About Courtship For Women

Only consider courtship at a time in your life when you are ready to consider marriage.   Until that time–foster the virtue of friends...

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10 Signs You’Re Just Forcing Your Relationship To Last

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAQKFn_rYVoECS3f7O__zcojfMHKGdeeWGQQ7n0eBQabprLRlTpgoXZJGej8HJBt4bJlRsg3XYChsF9LqDX8Knn6BxfV_5cz2VTA63-Ay1oRm3NGktgDrmASE0VPBxOJMaMdSABZtdJFU/s1600/African-American-Couple-Arguing-in-Bed-1024x682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAQKFn_rYVoECS3f7O__zcojfMHKGdeeWGQQ7n0eBQabprLRlTpgoXZJGej8HJBt4bJlRsg3XYChsF9LqDX8Knn6BxfV_5cz2VTA63-Ay1oRm3NGktgDrmASE0VPBxOJMaMdSABZtdJFU/s640/African-American-Couple-Arguing-in-Bed-1024x682.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Relationships are hard to maintain, some work out till the end and some fail no matter how two people work on them. This one is for those of you who think you’re living a lie, those of you who think you’re “dragging the relationship” or are “being dragged with someone”. This is about the harsh realities that all of us have to face at least once in our lives, the harsh realities of the fact that we don’t always get what we want no matter how badly we may want it. If your relationships matches more than three signs, you need to sit and talk about it and see where it goes.</span><br /> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"></span></span><br /> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 10. You fight constantly over measly and petty issues</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Two people who care about each other and respect each other tend to ignore measly problems and small issues for the love of their partners. They have a lot of patience for their partners and they don’t want them to get into any arguments with them, they try to avoid arguments with everything they have. But when a relationship is dying, people lose their level of patience and they don’t think twice before fighting over the smallest of things.</div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 9. You don’t think of them before taking big steps anymore</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When two people are in love with each other, they make sure that their love plays a big part in the important steps of their lives, they make sure that their partners are involved in every big decision they take and every big life plan they make. But when love starts dying, we start thinking for ourselves without keeping our partners in mind because they don’t have the same position in our minds anymore. This leads to a lot of fights and a lot of taunts like “You don’t even think of me anymore”.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 8. You consume your time in other things more</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When two people are in love and are happy with each other, they tend to take out as much time as they can for each other regardless of how busy they are, because love cannot be bothered with busy schedules and no one is busy when it comes to sentiments and feelings. When people start falling out of love, they tend to occupy themselves in other activities more, they tend to do more things that would make them busy and keep them at a distance with their partners. It feels like even the smallest of activities are more important than trying to plan a meetup with your partner.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 7. The future doesn’t matter to you anymore</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When people are in love, their main motive and goal is to spend a life together; spending a happy life together is the ultimate goal of every relationship. But when love fades away, the future doesn’t really matter anymore because you aren’t as hopeful about it as you once were. So you don’t plan things anymore, you don’t save anymore and you just live life each day as it comes.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 6. You find yourself taking interest in other people</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> It’s natural to be charmed by someone even when you’re in a relationship, but it’s a completely different think when can sometimes imagine a life with those people and think of how different things would had been had it been them. This happens because your heart isn’t completely a hundred percent in that relationship anymore and it’s looking for happiness and peace elsewhere.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 5. You start remembering their mistakes</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> People in love tend to let things go for the sake of their relationships. They let go of the fights and forget the arguments and continue working for a better and happier future. But when love fades away, even the smallest of fight is remembered and you may use it against them during another fight. This is a very destructive thing to do because the fights never end and the couple is found stuck within a vicious cycle of fights and heated arguments and they can’t remember the last time they were “just okay” with each other.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. You can’t discuss your feelings without having an argument</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> This is a continuation to my last point, when two people start falling out of love, they tend to develop a fear of sentimental discussions. They don’t want to talk about their feelings because every little topic leads to a fight. This is highly destructive because open communication is a vital part of every long-lasting and happy relationship and people can’t be happy with each other without having complete transparency when it comes to letting the feelings out.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. “Emotional Silence”</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> People who are truly in love are very emotional and affectionate about each other. Their actions and their words are filled with emotions and affection. But when love falls out of place, the affection starts dying and the emotions start fading away. You think twice before saying anything sweet because you think your feelings aren’t being cherished and you’re just wasting your emotions on someone who’d just ignore them. This leads to a condition I call “Emotional Silence”.</div> <h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. You’re not proud of having them anymore</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> When someone asks me about my girlfriend, I very happily and proudly tell them about how happy I am to have her in my life. This is because that’s what love does to you, it gives you a very different feeling of pride because of your partner and the love you share together. You don’t think twice before putting up nice pictures with them and talking about them with family and friends. But when love starts dying, people don’t feel the same pride anymore and they tend to ignore the topic of their relationships. They usually say “it’s complicated” or “we are working on it.”.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. You don’t get scared at the thought of a breakup</h2> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> The thought of a breakup makes me shiver, it has the same effect on people who are madly in love with each other and are in a happy relationship together. If you’re at a stage in your relationship where you just don’t fear a breakup happening, you’re completely damaged in that relationship and it doesn’t really matter to you.</div> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> <br /></div> </span></div>

10 Signs You’Re Just Forcing Your Relationship To Last

Relationships are hard to maintain, some work out till the end and some fail no matter how two people work on them. This one is for thos...

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7 Of The Most Common Fights That May Harm Your Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio-rcjaQh2_iaekyk8deZSE-FWL_gm740Kb9wmpzzfzvtiIICYuV34YtiIw3LEJCjDY60CbQ1ZsrRq7_RyoQ3IwgaWBOoahZedi1o152HXg3h2EH58mKkpNI4ZJkvJj5kY9HFRFtsexyU/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="483" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio-rcjaQh2_iaekyk8deZSE-FWL_gm740Kb9wmpzzfzvtiIICYuV34YtiIw3LEJCjDY60CbQ1ZsrRq7_RyoQ3IwgaWBOoahZedi1o152HXg3h2EH58mKkpNI4ZJkvJj5kY9HFRFtsexyU/s640/12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> It’s in our nature to disagree, more than we agree on things. Every individual is different, every person has their own point of views on life and how to live it, and when two people get into a relationship they start sharing a life together, and that’s when the fights slowly start to happen. It’s perfectly normal to fight your significant other, but the fights should not get out of hand and should be controlled by one of the two. I’m going to mention some of the most common relationship fights, because these fights can often lead to harsh breakups (I’ve seen them happen and also been through a few). The point of this article is to prepare you guys for the negativities that come with every relationship and I’ll try my best to teach you how to deal with those negativities. Let’s begin.<span id="more-114" style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span></div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 7. Fights pertaining to money</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> “Money” is one of the strongest evils of the world, we all need it, some of us have a lot of it, some of us don’t have enough to lead a normal life, some of us have more than enough but we still want more. Every person is different in this aspect and money is something that can literally cause a lot of damage to any relationship if it’s not properly dealt with. My ex, for example, always expected me to spend on her even when I didn’t have enough, this made me feel bad about myself and greatly lowered my self-esteem and made me apply for small-time jobs just to make her needs meet. Eventually, I started believing that the relationship was fueled with money, which shouldn’t be the case in any relationship because money is a very temporary luxury, so even though I started earning a lot of money, I left her. I’ve seen even the richest of friends go poor over one stupid decision. The girl I’m with now, who I mentioned in my previous article – “<a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #f53e2a; text-decoration: none;">10 Ways to really make her happy</a>“, is an amazing person. She knows I spend a lot on myself and on her, she keeps asking me to lower my expenses and to save more for our future. It’s not unhealthy to sit and talk about money if it’s going in a positive direction, try and understand what your partner means, try to grasp where they are coming from. Don’t shun the idea of saving. But if it seems like a relationship where money is discussed more than it should be, you’re with the wrong person.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 6. Fights about In-laws</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> It is bound to happen at one point. When you find your significant other, you need to be prepared to be okay with their family. The fights happen because you naturally can’t love their family like your own no matter how hard you try, but you still have to keep trying. You can’t be happy with your partner if you don’t respect their family, because your partner expects that from you and they understand that you don’t see eye to eye with them but they will still love you for smiling at the awkward dinners and just being nice around them. My in-laws are a blessing on me because they didn’t make things difficult for me, but I’ve known a few friends who’ve had major fights over this point. A friend of mine chose to just stay quiet in front of his in-laws because he just didn’t like them, I told him that’s not the way but he didn’t listen. Eventually, the inevitable fight happened and it was caused because his girlfriend was sad about him not respecting her family. You have to be very selfless here, look at it through your partner’s eyes and you’ll get it.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 5. Fights caused by jealousy</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Jealousy is another natural element of everyone’s life, it happens and it can easily be controlled, it’s all in your head and the insecurities caused by jealousy can be very fatal for a relationship. We often get jealous of our partners, but it’s okay as long as it’s the sweet sort of jealousy. My girlfriend knows her limits with her friends and she knows I’ll never bound her from anything, so she doesn’t give me a reason to be jealous of anything. One easy way to deal with jealousy is to get a strong grip over your insecurities and to end them. If you’re insecure about yourself, you’ll always be insecure about your relationship which causes jealousy to appear in the mix in a way it really shouldn’t.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 4. Fights about “Nothing”</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> This might seem funny to most people in new relationships, but people who’ve been together for a couple of years know what I’m talking about. Fights over “nothing” are very common in couples who know and love each other for too long. These fights are so trivial that both sides have no idea how the fight started in the first place. These fights are caused by other tensions that are left unsolved in the past, these little tensions slowly develop into a fight that leads nowhere and the couple starts being normal with each other after a while. To avoid such fights, make sure you speak your heart out with each other all the time. Don’t think that you shouldn’t tell them something if it’s bothering you just because it would lead to an argument, have that argument to save yourselves from a bigger argument later. Speak your mind, be free.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 3. Fights over bad habits</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> I used to smoke cigarettes, and a lot of them per day. My ex didn’t mind because she herself used to smoke. But my girlfriend now, the amazing woman that she is, doesn’t smoke or do anything of the sort. She told me to stop smoking, not because she didn’t like it, but because she wanted me to be a healthier person. As long as she was clear about it, I had literally no second thoughts about leaving that habit. So we didn’t fight over my bad habit. Fights over bad habits occur when your partner wants you to refrain from something but give little or no reason or justification for it. They need to understand that they need to tell you “why” your bad habit is “bad” for you, just saying something like “stop it because I don’t like it” isn’t a strong enough way to make you leave something. Leaving a bad habit is a very hard process and having an open-minded partner helps by a mile.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 2. Fighting because of friends</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Ah friends, they’re important aren’t they? We all have a very close group of friends who we call our best friends, we listen to them, we help them out, we love them for who they are, we want to spend more and more time with them, but friends are also often the reason for couples to fight. I’ve noticed this more with girls than with guys, because I have a personal example for this. My guy friends are all very cool with my girlfriend, they like her and they hang out with us without asking me to “make her stay out of our guy time”. But one fine day, my girlfriend was pretty upset, because one of her girls told her some very mean lies about me, she didn’t believe what she said but she was just upset over the fact that one of her close friends isn’t okay with me. I tried my best to make her friend like me but I’m not required to so I stopped after a while, a while later my girlfriend discovered that her “close friend” wanted to make her hate me because she was, and I quote, “too tired of seeing us so happy”. Yeah, I know it sounds pretty psychotic, but it happened. So natually, my girlfriend stopped talking to her to avoid any more of said issues. Try not to let your friends get too involved in your relationship, don’t let them judge you for your decisions (true friends never do, anyway) it is bound to cause a lot of problems later.</div> <h1 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin: 20px 0px;"> 1. Fights over the past</h1> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Some people have a harder time letting go of the past than others. Some people linger on to it and want to keep something to themselves for leverage, it shouldn’t be like that because it’s not healthy but that’s how it is. If your significant other musters up the courage and strength to tell you everything about their past, even their most embarrassing of mistakes, please don’t use those things against them in the past. Accept them completely for who they were and for who they are, do NOT linger on to the past.</div> </div>

7 Of The Most Common Fights That May Harm Your Relationship

It’s in our nature to disagree, more than we agree on things. Every individual is different, every person has their own point of views...

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12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <img src="http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/KAo2PPwFWDG0Fwq7dQMNqrkMNprh4Fmm6mivRRQb9CA/mtime:1427941577/sites/default/files/styles/listing_big/public/image_feature/golden.jpg?itok=xae17eRc" /><br /> <br /> <div class="field-value value-bold summary dek no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div class="field field-name-field-daily-dish-feature-summar field-type-text-long field-label-above" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-items" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <div class="field-item even" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy.</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field-value body no-label" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> One of the most common questions we hear is, "<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">How do we make our relationship work?</em>" The answers are complicated, varied, and after a while, start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">they work</em>. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. Mind your manners.</strong> "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Variety is the spice of life.</strong> Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. </div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">3. The couple that plays together, stays together.</strong> Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV doesn't count) and make it a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains. .. whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">4. Fight right.</strong> In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.</strong> No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play) but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">6. Two heads are better than one.</strong> Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise kegiatan together.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.</strong> Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">8. Sound it out.</strong> It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects — money, religion, fidelity, raising kids —will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">9. Laughter is the best medicine.</strong> Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is better than getting angry in the long run. It's just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">10. Keep your eyes on the prize. </strong>Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal — to be in a happy, functioning partnership — you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">11. Quitters never win.</strong> Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing your wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to therapy.</strong> Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.</div> </div> </div>

12 Golden Rule To A Happy And Long Lasting Marriage/Dating

Fairy-tale love is hard to find. Here are some tips for keeping your relationship healthy and happy. One of the most common que...

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4 Steps To Fix A Broken Relationship

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img src="http://artatm.com/wp-content/uploads/broken_heart_by_fastreflex-1.jpg" /></div> <br /> <br /> <span style="background-color: white; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">This is for people in broken relationships. Relationships that stand on such weak grounds that you don’t really know if you should give this another try or get out of it. A broken relationship is like a deep wound that is a result of constant blows to your soul and heart, unintentionally and at times, intentionally. It is a hard decision but don’t ever give up unless you’ve tried to make it work from every way possible because you don’t want that guilt to linger on after you have broken up. At times many relationships are fragile just because that’s the way they are. It could be a union of two extremely sensitive people or two extremely strong-headed people. So, at times, a few little changes can help you save that relationship.</span><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 4. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE PERSON YOU FIRST FELL IN LOVE WITH</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> You and your partner were not always like this. Remind yourself of the way your partner was, the way you fell in love with them. Over the period of time, small things condition us to adapt and change. Remember, these changes are a result of incidents and external factors in your relationship. Find that faith in your partner again. Believe that there is still the same amount of goodness and love in your partner than when you first met them.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 3. STOP FIGHTING, START FORGIVING</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> You have been fighting for so long and nothing good or positive has come out of it, ever. Your relationship has just gotten worse. All those bad words, hurtful statements and raised voices will only act as those blows that I was talking about. It’s time you stop all of that. Now that you are trying to find the same faith in your partner, forgive them. Know that your partner didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s time you forgive them for hurting you so you can actually work on the things that have damaged to your relationship.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 2. IT’S TIME TO COMMUNICATE</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Most of us in relationships don’t realise that many issues can be resolved with the right kind of communication. The right kind of communication is when you keep all of your other issues afar from the current situation and address the duduk kasus in simple words. Remember not to use a statement that, you know, might offend your partner. Another important action that needs to come into play is to show support. Whether you agree at first or not. Have the patience and courtesy to listen to your partner, even if they are wrong, hear them out and then clear things. Most fights are usually just simple misunderstandings that develop into bigger and badder things.</div> <h2 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Roboto Condensed', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;"> 1. COMMIT YOURSELF AGAIN</h2> <div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #353535; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px;"> Reassure your partner that you still love them. No one in this world can tell your partner how much you love them. Not their friends, not your friends and not even this article. The only person who has the power to reassure this to your partner is YOU. Tell them that you are ready to let go of the things they did to you and ask for forgiveness for the things you did to them. There is no ego when you love someone. Don’t think that asking for forgiveness makes your point any less important. When you forgive your partner and ask for forgiveness, you are allowing them to let go of the things they have been holding on to.</div> </div>

4 Steps To Fix A Broken Relationship

This is for people in broken relationships. Relationships that stand on such weak grounds that you don’t really know if you should gi...

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How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSP7-ZL7AyPeCbMVzB0ajoo7rCx86J7gbBR20YVlCvzCuYUKG74S6sm9IARR46LG1afJtKKsf0ELbnmU4sOGbg3I0JcCaMKAX2uZ9WrORPzQKpYV7GXatDQPCXUYDz5Osz5ZGLjU1akXn5/s1600/man+woman+dqwe.png" style="background-color: transparent;" /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can learn how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Doesn’t seem like that makes sense, does it? Stick with me here for a second and you’ll understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are kind of like Fight Club: if you’re you’re dating someone, you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going </em>to fight. There’s no getting around it. It’s the inevitable result of being in a relationship with another person – there’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">going</em> to be conflict, no matter how (drift) compatible you may be.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Trying to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</em> fighting means trying to avoid conflict – which usually means that important issues get swept under the rug in the name of “keeping the peace” instead of, y’know, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving </em>them. And of course, we all know how well denial works when it comes to conflict resolution.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Rather than trying to <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">avoid</i> conflict, people in the most successful relationships learn <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how </em>to fight so that they don’t end up doing more damage to one another. But learning <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> to fight is only part of the answer. You also have to know how to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop</em> fighting so that you can actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em>things and move on to the more important parts of the relationship… like the make-up sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So just <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em> can you stop fighting with your partner? Well I’m glad you asked…</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span id="more-5460" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1) Walk It Off</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Anger is like fire; when properly harnessed, it’s an incredibly useful and important tool. On the other hand, if you’re careless with it then you’re going to lose control and it will end up destroying everything you care about.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan is that anger is rarely a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">rational</em> emotion. It’s almost impossible to have a practical discussion with your partner when you’re caught up in anger; it’s entirely too easy to get distracted by side issues or to dredge up old issues to justify why you’re so pissed right now. And like fire, anger can be deceptive. Just because the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">immediate</em> argument is over doesn’t mean that you’re not still ticked off. Like a campfire, it may <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">seem</em> like things are settled, but one errant spark and suddenly the whole thing flares up again and burns the forest down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you want to stop fighting and actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fix</em> things, then you need to give yourself time to cool down. Separately.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Yes, separately. It can be hard to let go of things when the person who’s ticking you off is right there with you; you end up feeling pressured to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">say</em> you’re better, even if you’re still angry. So the best thing you can do? Get a little bit of space and let yourself calm down.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You want to get away from the scene of the argument (which is going to just keep reminding you of the fact that you’ve had one) and do the things that let you cool off. Take a walk. Hit the gym and jump on the treadmill and burn out that fire by exhausting yourself. Go listen to music that helps calm you down. Beat on the heavy bag like it owes you money.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> There are a lot of people who will tell you that you shouldn’t walk off, that every argument should be resolved right then and there. This is a spectacularly, crossing-the-streams-level <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bad</em>idea; not every conflict is one that can be resolved in one sitting and trying to do so while you’re still angry makes it next to impossible. It’s better to take time to vent, decompress and come back when you’re cool and collected.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Just make sure you let your partner know what you’re doing and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em>; just standing up and storming out is a great way to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> hurt someone. Tell them: “Look right now I’m too angry to think straight. I need to go do X to calm down so we can sort this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes/a half hour/an hour.”</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2) Ask Yourself: Is This The Hill You’re Willing To Die On?</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here’s something that trips a lot of people up: sometimes we pick the wrong battles, whether we’re the aggressor or not. We get upset over the wrong things. We get into fights – or make fights worse – because we don’t stop to ask ourselves whether the fight is one <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worth having</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> One of the most common conflicts in relationships involves the desire to be “correct” rather than “right”. Chalk it up to how men and women are socialized; men are taught that they’re supposed to be “doers” while women are the “feelers”. Men tend to look for concrete “do this and things will be better” solutions to conflicts. Unfortunately, one of the ways that we tend to express this is by pointing out that the other person is mistaken or doesn’t understand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And let me tell you: there’s nothing like telling a person “no, you’re wrong” to turn a minor fight into a major confrontation. This is a <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> bad idea when your goal is to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stop fighting in the first place.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If we take the classic domestic conflict of “you don’t help me do the dishes” and respond with all the ways that we <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> contribute (paying the bills, picking up around the house, whatever) then we’re trying show that what we do is equivalent… which it may well be in terms of comparative time/effort spent, but that doesn’t actually address the issue.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Similarly, yeah, your girlfriend may have seen what <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">looked</em> like you flirting with the cute redhead from Accounts Receivable, but <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">clearly</em> nothing was going on, therefore it’s completely unreasonable for her to be mad at you!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The persoalan with this approach is that we tend to equate being correct with having the budbahasa high-ground and that immediately puts <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everybody</em> on the defensive. Suddenly you’re feeling unfairly attacked while <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> is hearing you tell her that she has no right to feel the way that she does. Now you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">both</em> put in the position where you’re no longer actually addressing the problem, you’re arguing about who’s “right” and there’s no real way to back down without losing face. Now you’re fighting to defend your <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ego</em> and there’s no real way to “win” without losing at the same time.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being factually correct doesn’t mean that you’re actually in the right – especially when it’s not about the “facts” but about how a person’s behavior makes the other person <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel. </em>Being “correct” isn’t going to win you any points, especially when your partner’s seeing it from a completely different perspective. “Winning” the argument is a pyrrhic victory when it ruins the relationship in the process, especially when it’s over comparatively <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minor details</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have to ask yourself: “Is this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">really</em> the hill I want to die on?” Are you really willing to prolong the fight, or even make it worse, rather than just swallowing your pride and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listening to what she’s actually saying</em>?</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 3) Apologize. The Right Way.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The fastest way to stop fighting is simple: apologize. But you can’t just say “well, sorry” and expect everything to be magically ok. You have to apologize the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> way.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is another area that trips a lot of people up: we tend to equate apologizing with being morally wrong. Why should we apologize when we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Well… because like I said earlier: being “correct” doesn’t mean that you’re “right”. Apologizing isn’t <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just</em> about who’s wrong or who’s right. It’s <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">also</em> about taking responsibility for how you’ve made other people feel. A sincere apology means understanding <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> your partner is upset with you and copping to your part in having made it happen.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> First: make sure you understand what you’re actually apologizing <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</em>. The best way to do this: try to summarize your understanding as to why she’s upset. “You’re upset because you saw me flirting with Helena, am I right?” Then <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">listen</em>. Don’t defend yourself – just listen to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why</em> she’s upset. Then apologize for it. “I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you by doing X.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Did you do something wrong? That’s (sometimes) debatable. What <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">isn’t</em> debatable is the way you made her feel. And if you actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">care</em> about the person you’re dating, then you damn well <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">better</em> care about how you make her feel.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Notice very carefully that this is the <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">active</em> voice. There is nothing more infuriating than a weaselly non-apology apology like “I’m sorry you were hurt”; it’s a lisan way of putting the blame on <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">her</em> for being unreasonable, rather than taking responsibility for your part in hurting her. Similarly, you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">never</em> give an apology with a qualifier. Saying “I’m sorry, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">but…</em>” is telling her that not only are you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry but once again, she’s wrong for feeling that way in the first place.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> (To pre-empt the obvious objection: if you feel that she’s consistently unreasonable about the way she feels, then it’s probably well past time the two of you broke up. Either you’re right and she’s impossible, in which case you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place or <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she’s</em> right and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re</em> the asshole and <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she</em> shouldn’t be dating <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you</em>. Same result either way.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And above all else: never, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ever</em> apologize just to make the fight stop and get her off your back. This not only invalidates the apology – because you’re <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> sorry<i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> – </i>but tells her that you’re not going to <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> anything about it. You’re essentially interacting on bad faith- you have no intentions of actually <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">resolving</em> the problem, you just want her to shut up. This is incredibly insulting on just about every level and is only going to hasten the inevitable demise of your relationship.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Also: if you’re the one being apologized to – <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">accept the apology without editorializing</i>. Responding to “I’m sorry, I was an asshole” with “Yup, you were” is just going to start the fight all over again.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 4) Stop Fighting, <i style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then</i> Resolve The Issue</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you’ve been following the steps, then ideally you’ve both calmed down and gotten to a point where you’ve forgiven each other. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This</em> is the time to work out a resolution to the cause of the fight. It’s great that you’ve stopped fighting but that’s just treating a symptom. Unless you actually address the cause, then all you’ve done is just put things on pause until you fight <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Resolving the conflict should be a collaborative approach. This means you have to work on this <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">together</em> to fix things, not just dictate terms to one another as though you’re negotiating the Treaty of Versailles. You want to ask two questions: “What do you need to make things better?” and “How can we make this happen?” <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Relationships are inherently a partnership; you’re supposed to be working together towards a common goal and understanding. They’re not about “who wins” and “who loses”; <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">everyone</em>loses when you’re fighting, no matter who’s actually in the right. Collaborating together to find a way to make things right reinforces the fact that at the end of the day, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">you’re on the same side.</em></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It’s worth noting: not every solution is going to be a compromise. Sometimes you have to be willing to accept that what you’ve done has hurt your partner and that you’re going to need to make concessions in the name of <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</em> hurting them. That’s part of the price of entry to being in a relationship with someone; if you’re unwilling to pay it… well, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them in the first place.</div> <h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.25rem; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 1rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 1)Take Time To Make Up.</h3> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You’ve managed to stop fighting. You’ve worked together to find a solution. Now it’s time to make up… and in many ways, this is the most important part of arguing with your partner. You may have patched up the issues from the fight, but you’re both still going to feel the sting of the fight and those lingering emotions can poison your relationship if you don’t take care of them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> As it turns out, there’s actually some truth to the old adage of “don’t go to bed angry”; going to sleep can actually preserve negative emotions or even make them <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">worse. </em>It doesn’t do you any good to try to stop fighting if all you’re going to do is cement the anger and hurt.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> This is why making up is important. You’re not just resolving the problem, you’re reminding one another that even though you may fight, you still have that core of love and affection for one another. Yes, you may get angry, but that doesn’t mean that at the end of the day, you don’t love each other. It’s important to keep that in sight.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Taking the time to make up afterwards is a form of relationship self-care. It’s a way of reinforcing the bond and making each other happy again. You’re soothing the hurt that you’ve both caused and replacing it with love and contentment. It reaffirms the strength of your relationship and rewards you for fixing the problems instead of just fighting over and over again.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 1.625rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> And besides… if you don’t take time to make up, when are you going to have that awesome make-up sex when you <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</em> stop fighting?</div> </div>

How To Stop Fighting With Your Girlfriend And Start Making Up

Here’s something that most relationship coaches aren’t going to tell you: fights are a part of relationships. The sooner you accept this...

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