7 Simple Things You Should Be Doing In Your Relationship But Probably Aren’T

<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYATfoZ8gXsgfqFUkvf2ZykfWviBg9SUSErDN81Yvww9WH5_S8_H601DHRyAIqpnK3DZgE3aps3CLQpBAkEuB52BGQU23RUIx-aoRxcz6KuyX1VgqN6ZqQSudVzABPtZwCOwD1RV4ICz0/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYATfoZ8gXsgfqFUkvf2ZykfWviBg9SUSErDN81Yvww9WH5_S8_H601DHRyAIqpnK3DZgE3aps3CLQpBAkEuB52BGQU23RUIx-aoRxcz6KuyX1VgqN6ZqQSudVzABPtZwCOwD1RV4ICz0/s400/download.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> What are those things you have been doing in your relationship and have not been doing?</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The initial intimacy spikes that often characterizes new relationship are over after some months and both of you feel you need to do something to keep you going strongly.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A relationship is a beautiful thing when you are in it with the right person. However, it must be worked upon to achieve good results.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> A typical machine consists of different moving parts, if you do not lubricate these parts from time to time, they will gradually wear and tear they are no more useful. Liken a relationship to a machine, its own oil are those things that seems little but which many fails to do.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Young persons must realize that keeping a relationship for a long period of time is challenging but not impossible.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Regardless of the stage you are in your relationship, these 7 things I mentioned here are necessary for its growth and survival.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Be Open!</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Never keep a secret! It would interest you that some lovers keep issues from their other half. Doing this is tantamount to gradual destruction of your relationship. Why bottle up your feelings and emotions when you can communicate them with him or her?</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When you are open with him or her, it eliminates costly assumptions and “mind reading” which could all go wrong.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t assume your partner will go berserk when you are open about your feelings, thoughts and actions, you are not all knowing.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Remind Them How Much You Care</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let your partner see the extent to which you care with your actions. Buying them little gifts or offering to help when they are overwhelmed with work can send the right message that you care a lot about them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I know it is easier to take your partner for granted when you’ve been together for a while. However, that your relationship has been on for a long time should not remove the care you were showing in the early days of your affair.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuo3IclvsHIFCa0_VsMFNHVRvAcx1nBtZr-XHSrPHbMHIYCu6UmhbUwdR5nUO93NuiHk-NytlysmqhyTkqMYV-gR22wegtCbdylfxS1EKNHoNJoUhcGXzXdCIrtNi847M52hO9gaDoDZU/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuo3IclvsHIFCa0_VsMFNHVRvAcx1nBtZr-XHSrPHbMHIYCu6UmhbUwdR5nUO93NuiHk-NytlysmqhyTkqMYV-gR22wegtCbdylfxS1EKNHoNJoUhcGXzXdCIrtNi847M52hO9gaDoDZU/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Exchange Resources On Relationship</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> By resources, I mean books, audios and movies which centers on how to build a strong relationship. Many lovers for instance, have never seen a good relationship movie together nor read books before.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I’ve seen <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">no fewer </strong>than 10 movies on relationships together with my fiancee. We have also exchange books that give us better understanding of how relationships work. After seeing a movie together with her at the cinema last year, our further discussions on it gave both of us better perspectives of a healthy relationship and the bonding between us increased.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> According to a <a href="https://www.rochester.edu/news/divorce-rate-cut-in-half-for-couples-who-discussed-relationship-movies/" style="border: 0px; color: #e64946; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">research</a> conducted at Rochester University, couples who discuss relationship movies after watching, enjoy a lot of benefits which can be likened to that of counselling. The act also reduce rate of separation by 50%.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Give Your Full Attention While Having A Discussion</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> When having a serious conversation with your partner, give your undivided attention. Listening is a skill which cannot be faked. In addition, when your partner talks, you need to listen to hear, not listen to respond.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t fiddle with your phone or electronic gadgets while you are having an important discussion with your partner, it can be annoying to them. That is not a time to bury your head in a book or novel, finish that discussion before you engage in other things.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Communicate More</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> You have been communicating before, but it’s never enough. To have a long lasting relationship requires effective communication which can only be achieved if both of you are committed to it.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Don’t come to a point where you think your communication in your relationship has reached a limit that do not need further effort.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> From experience, once your line of communication breaks down, the relationship is heading for destruction.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />6. Respect Your Partner</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh37VBQLm1mINEVYQoECEBy5LZ4GbuWdylu0WEirIpiuJmUlrAjNVdVyLpi9jcJQ5CZ73YWp012adkEx5Z2s4DDAidDtNyBRVhYdn4wzEfMzZFRyGa5RYCj-Rg6zDIz6iauoAqkQCsrYD0/s1600/to-be-Treated-copy-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="365" data-original-width="650" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh37VBQLm1mINEVYQoECEBy5LZ4GbuWdylu0WEirIpiuJmUlrAjNVdVyLpi9jcJQ5CZ73YWp012adkEx5Z2s4DDAidDtNyBRVhYdn4wzEfMzZFRyGa5RYCj-Rg6zDIz6iauoAqkQCsrYD0/s320/to-be-Treated-copy-copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br /><br /><br />Respect, respect and respect, it is never too much. You need to respect the opinion and thoughts of your partner. When discussing about any issue, respect their view and perspective about it while giving your own opinion on how best to solve the duduk perkara at hand.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It should not be a blame game when something goes wrong in your relationship, after all, it takes two to <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">tango</em>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">7. Do Things You Love Together</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Engaging in activities you both love leads to better bonding between the two of you. Take courses, cook your favourite meal and pray all together!</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Start doing these simple things today if you have not been doing them before or improve upon those ones you have been doing. Then, you can minimize friction in your relationship.</div>

7 Simple Things You Should Be Doing In Your Relationship But Probably Aren’T

What are those things you have been doing in your relationship and have not been doing? The initial intimacy spikes that often char...

Read more »

How To End It After A Few Dates

<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OqXlkfRzW7HYMoAGX0YO_mj1DU2DYXZki2ivDia6aFrGDqAw_toNjPq7oHfKEXTixy4NxqlPg-ItodvW9ngPShGwz-_FkdgXmk-nAkUvoqfHUrmqComufS-RbzW3-CKKltqZk8D3rIQ/s1600/How+to+end+it+after+a+few+dates.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" how to end it after a few weeks of dating How To End It After A Few Dates" border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OqXlkfRzW7HYMoAGX0YO_mj1DU2DYXZki2ivDia6aFrGDqAw_toNjPq7oHfKEXTixy4NxqlPg-ItodvW9ngPShGwz-_FkdgXmk-nAkUvoqfHUrmqComufS-RbzW3-CKKltqZk8D3rIQ/s1600/How+to+end+it+after+a+few+dates.png" title="How To End It After A Few Dates" width="360" /></a></div> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You've been on a few dates with someone, you've enjoyed getting to know them but you know that there's a spark missing and you can't see yourself dating this person in the long term. </span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Stopping seeing someone after a couple of dates is a tricky situation because you don't want to hurt the person but you know that it's in your best interest to finish the relationship now and move on.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you have a gut feeling that the person you're dating isn't 'the one' then it's only fair to both of you if you call it quits and tell them that it's better for you not to see each other. You might find yourself wanting to make yourself go on a few more dates just to see if it gets better or if you develop a connection, but after three or four dates you should have a pretty good idea of how well you get on together and if you can see this person being in your life for a long time.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">It's normal to feel guilty about wanting to end it after a few dates, but don't beat yourself up or feel too bad about ending it, because if you're not the right people for each other then ending it is the right thing to do. </span>It's much better to end it now in the early stages before one of you develops feelings, because you or the person you're dating will end up getting very hurt if you don't.</div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Read Next: </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">15 Signs You Need To End A Relationship Now</span></a></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">An Open Letter To My Ex</span></a></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="color: #e06666; font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://justandmyguys.blogspot.com//search?q=15-signs-you-need-to-end-your-relationship"><span style="color: #e06666;">12 Ways To Get Over A Breakup</span></a></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 38px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3 Ways To End It After A Few Dates</b></span></div> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">1. Send Them A Meaningful Text</span></div> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you only went on a few dates, then sending a thoughtful text to explain your feelings will be enough to let the person know that you don't want to continue dating them. Let them know that you really enjoyed spending time with them but you feel like you're just friends and can't see it progressing into a relationship. </span>Be honest with the person and be open about your reasons for wanting to end it. You don't have to force yourself into a relationship with anyone an if it's not working out then don't worry! Just be polite and respectful and end it on good terms. If you had different values or there was no spark, just let them know that. Don't give them false hope by saying things like, 'maybe we'll see each other again.' It's better to be brutally honest than to lead them on to thinking that they may have a chance with you again.</div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">2. Have A Face To Face Conversation </span></div> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you've been dating for more than a few weeks then a face to face conversation or 'breakup' may be more suitable. If you think the person you're dating has developed feelings for you and there's a connection there, then it's only fair if you explain to them in person that it's not working out. Don't take the easy way out by sending a text if you've been seeing each other for quite a while. Although it's hard for both people, arrange to meet the other person and have a chat to explain exactly how you're feeling and your reasons for not wanting to see them anymore. Help them to understand why you want to end it and give them the respect of a proper explanation, they have given a lot of their time to you after all.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Avenir Next Condensed"; font-size: 34px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">3. Stay Friends If You Think It Will Help</span></div> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Usually people who break up and agree to stay friends don't work out, but if after a few dates you realise that you're only just friends, then maybe it's good to stay friends! Although it hasn't worked out for you both as a couple, maybe you've found a great friend in each other and there's no reason why you can't continue the relationship on a friendship level. Just make sure there's no feelings more than friendship on both sides, to avoid getting hurt.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">However it ends, let them down easily and be thankful for the chance to meet someone new and gain experience in the dating world. Everyone we meet has an impact on our lives and at least you've been able to discover someone new who will lead you to discovering who is really meant for you. Whatever you do, don't ghost someone and don't cut them out of your life with no explanation. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected and remember to show kindness always.</span><br /> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Pin it for later:</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYCu2CU2M0miKXmeG8OWCDQdZIITWmtzTnxd2pgmYGKZAB7f66RotXwt-WQud4IWT_7OQ5aIr0Hd_u0j-FK-TGN2juniUPW6oFolXFqgL1h9Gad9Vx4UerJnXz4YPZy8I1iil49XfNVI/s1600/How+to+end+it+after+a+few+dates.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" how to end it after a few weeks of dating How To End It After A Few Dates" border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYCu2CU2M0miKXmeG8OWCDQdZIITWmtzTnxd2pgmYGKZAB7f66RotXwt-WQud4IWT_7OQ5aIr0Hd_u0j-FK-TGN2juniUPW6oFolXFqgL1h9Gad9Vx4UerJnXz4YPZy8I1iil49XfNVI/s1600/How+to+end+it+after+a+few+dates.png" title="How To End It After A Few Dates" width="225" /></a></div> </div>

How To End It After A Few Dates

You've been on a few dates with someone, you've enjoyed getting to know them but you know that there's a spark missing and y...

Read more »

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://www.quotemaster.org/images/c5/c5911c3a28c28f4ed7134378aebfe29a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <figure class="entry-thumbnail" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; max-width: 1030px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></figure><br /><br /> <h2 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5rem; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 1.3; margin: 0px 0px 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how they’ve never really come to real happiness in their relationships especially with the opposite sex.</h2> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Such persons could not explain why it is difficult to find happiness in others contrary to their believe or what they’ve been fed.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Being happy in a relationship requires one key step before anything else. This step is so important that it cannot be skipped, for anyone wanting to enjoy his or relationships.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Let me start by saying that you can’t possibly be happy just because you are in a relationship. I’m not saying relationships do not radiate joy, No! Far from it, I’m simply saying the principal way to happier relationships with others is the one you first have with yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> It is difficult some times not to hurt others, however, we hurt ourselves more when we do not express love to ourselves.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> If you have not loved yourself genuinely, you re never going to find happiness from others you are seeking it from. You must first take adequate care of yourself and by that, I mean not getting frustrated at slightest hurt or provocation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Are you stressed out? Do you feel constantly irritated at people’s behavior? If yes, then you need to drop the idea of finding happiness in other people. You must deal with these issues and get rid of them. You are to love your neighbour as yourself, how can you love another person when you have not loved yourself.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="ud7a5959060c83edeada3fdde0dcbe1ac" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/10-important-traits-healthy-relationship/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Here are some practical steps to take in achieving self love.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Feed Your Mind With Positive Thoughts<br /><br /></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having quality and positive thoughts is one way to attain self happiness. Desist from negative thinking or bottling irrational thoughts in your heart. It’s a sure way to be frustrated and burned out easily. What you feed your mind with determines the level of self confidence you will exude. You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. The things we experience daily in this country are frustrating enough, do not add negative thoughts to them.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <b style="border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;">2. Spend Some Time Alone</span></span></b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> The company of friends and loved ones is sure good, however, a greater avenue to ease tension and get relaxed is to spend some quality time in a quiet place devoid of noise and distractions. You can go sightseeing of natural habitats, such as cool and serene environment or water bodies. Get fresh air, relax your mind and body and you are on your way to replenishing your energy.<br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Stay Active</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Apart from enhancing adequate blood flow to all parts or the body, regular exercise enhances mental alertness. 10-15 minutes daily exercise keeps you active with a feeling of joy radiating all over you. By so doing, you attract others who are themselves happy.<br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Play</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Having fun is part of life, it cannot be exchanged for anything. No matter how busy your schedules are, create time to enjoy yourself. Engage in those things you find joy in doing. Visit the movies, treat yourself to a special dinner…simply have fun. Happiness attracts happiness, watch as people queue up to be around you.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0em 0px 1em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <a class="u4269dc50e5cd5604f5857e98313e1baa" href="http://relationshipgoals.com.ng/7-simple-things-you-should-be-doing-in-your-relationship-but-probably-arent/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: inherit; border: 0px !important; color: #e64946; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding-bottom: 1em !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 1em !important; text-decoration-line: none; transition: opacity 250ms; vertical-align: baseline; width: 678.047px;" target="_blank"></a><br /> <div style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 1em; vertical-align: baseline;"> <br /></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Just Be Happy</b></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Smile for any accomplishment, no matter how little. Appreciate those that have been nice to you, being nice in present day Nigeria is a lot of effort. Bask in the euphoria of your breakthroughs and success.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> Finally, be very assured that hooking up with another person is not going to guarantee you happiness if you are not already a happy person. Know the person you are and enjoy your company first. If you can’t figure out you, you cannot have thorough knowledge of someone else, neither can you find joy in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.25rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> So, if you want to be happy in relationships, get a life! Good life, I mean.</div>

The Principal Way To Finding Happiness In Relationships

True love and happiness are inseparable, I can attest to this. I have heard countless of times, young people people lamenting how the...

Read more »

22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years

<div style="text-align: left;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkO2hzsMGQbJNfWEn1-EovYtW35brPEWKVrAIN0nMcVsAoU4YfoshR_u530IJTuPur6g2rPhKFzU4UWybk8pEqF_ZH-Pjj9lNlhZaeQxELiA0Dam5O7mm89ZBM4fKeJKeD7QCej9JusPo/s1600/22+things+i%2527ve+learned+in+22+years.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" this year has made me realise that I have a whole lot of learning to do but also that I 22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years" border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkO2hzsMGQbJNfWEn1-EovYtW35brPEWKVrAIN0nMcVsAoU4YfoshR_u530IJTuPur6g2rPhKFzU4UWybk8pEqF_ZH-Pjj9lNlhZaeQxELiA0Dam5O7mm89ZBM4fKeJKeD7QCej9JusPo/s1600/22+things+i%2527ve+learned+in+22+years.png" title="22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years" width="336" /></a></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Turning 22 this year has made me realise that I have a whole lot of learning to do but also that I've learnt so many lessons in my life so far. I've made plenty of mistakes and I've learnt from them. I've trusted the wrong people and gotten hurt because of it. I've started making the right decisions for myself and putting myself first. I definitely don't have it all figured out yet but I've learned some valuable life lessons in my 22 years.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1. Its' 100% ok to not have your life figured out in your early 20s</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Your 20s are for discovering who you are and the things that make you happiest. Don't get stressed about not having a perfect relationship, perfect job and life in your 20s. You'll figure it out someday, but this is your time for learning.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2. You're definitely not going to be married with kids by the time you're 24</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You have to laugh at all those times in primary school when you're teacher would ask you what age you wanted to get married at and the majority of your class said 24 or 25. Yep, that's not going to happen. Maybe for some people it does but 24 comes around a lot quicker than you'd expect! 34 is probably a much more accurate estimate for it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3. You're going to let the wrong people into your life</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">This is a given. The important thing is to learn not to let those types of people into your life again. These people will hurt you, take advantage of you and not value the amazing things about you. The wrong people will lead you to the right people.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4. Never feel guilty for putting yourself first</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you're a people pleaser like me, you'll know that it's hard to put yourself first instead of doing everything for others. Never feel guilty for not wanting to do something or deciding that something isn't right for you. You don't always have to make decisions based on how it will effect others. It's so important to put your own happiness first at times.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>5. You'll learn how to say no</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you're someone who finds it hard to say no to things incase you complicate plans for someone else or don't want to put someone else out of their way, you'll learn that it's so necessary sometimes to say no to things that you don't want to do and not feel guilty about it. It's great to say yes to opportunities but it's also completely ok to say no to things you really don't want to do.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>6. You'll fall in love with the wrong people and have your heart badly broken</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You're going to fall for some jerks, no questions asked. You're going to fall for a guy who tells you he loves you but really couldn't give a crap about you. You're going to get badly hurt but you're also going to get through it and learn to never let the same horrible people hurt you again like that.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>7. You'll learn to stay away from those types of people</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You learn from your mistakes, simple as that. You learn to stay away from shitty people and you'll not let anyone hurt you like that again. You'll rise above it and be stronger than before.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8. You'll lose friends who don't agree with your choices, and that's ok</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You don't exist to please other people. You're not here to make other people happy and conform to what others think you should be. Don't change yourself because someone doesn't agree with your decisions. Be you and if a friend is unable to accept that you're different to them then maybe they're not a friend after all. Your real friends will stick by you no matter what so only focus your time and energy on them.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9. A lot of people are out for themselves</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Trust is something you'll learn to give sparingly and cautiously to people. A lot of people don't care about others wellbeing and will do what it takes to succeed. Be wary of people that you think aren't 100% genuine because in most cases, they're not.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10. It's so so so important to do the things you love on a daily basis</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Your happiness and mental health comes from the things you love. If you do the things you love daily, your happiness will improve so much. Make time everyday to work on that thing that gives you happiness. It's very important to look after your mental health in your 20s.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11. Don't stress about things that are out of your control</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you can't change it or control it, let it go. If it's out of control, release it from your life and forget all about it. Don't dwell on it and erase it from you mind.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>12. Don't try and make peace with a guy who screwed you over</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Forgive if you can and forget that a**hole immediately. Don't stay friends with someone who didn't respect you or treat you like the amazing person you are. Let them get on with their life and be glad that you escaped that mess.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>13. Casual dating is good to discover what type of person you want to be with</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The more you date people, the more you'll find out what you're attracted to and what type of person you get on best with. Go on dates for fun and enjoy every experience you have with people. Don't be afraid to go on a few dates with different people to find out what your 'type' is.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>14. One of the worst things you can do is compare yourself and your journey to others</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Social media is fake. People post highlight reels of their lives and we can't help but compare how crap our lives seem to theirs. It's great for people to be proud of their accomplishments but not when it seems all too good to be true. Unfollow that person who constantly posts about how amazing their life is. It's having a negative effect on your mind and putting you in reverse rather than making you motivated. I advise to not follow anyone, but instead walk alongside the real ones.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>15. Travel while you have the money and time to do so</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Don't be scared to invest money in yourself by travelling and seeing the world and gaining amazing life experiences. There's no rush to have a house, mortgage, car etc. in your early twenties so make the most of this valuable time and see as much of the world as possible.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>16. It's OK to try things and quit them if you realise they're not for you</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">If you got a new job and realised that it was the complete wrong thing for you, don't feel guilty about quitting to find the job that is right for you. If you take up a new hobby that you're not actually keen on, don't feel like failure for not continuing with it. Try as many things as possible until you find the things that make you happy.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>17. Put yourself in new situations and try as many new things as possible, even if it's nerve wrecking</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">You'll grow so much as a person by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Do the things that scare you the most. Take risks. Tick off all of the things on your list of things you've wanted to try. You'll thank yourself for pushing yourself to do new things.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>18. Remind yourself that things will get better</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Even if it seems like they won't, things will get better. In the darkest of days when you're finding it a struggle to keep going, just remember that this is temporary and amazing things are coming when you make the choices to do so. The pain and suffering is tough but you will get through this and you'll be so much stronger for it.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>19. Don't apologise for being you</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Don't change for someone else just because they don't like something about you or don't agree with your choices. As long as you're not hurting anyone and are happy then don't apologise for doing things that you want to do. </span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 29px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>20. Don't rush into relationships and enjoy being single</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">People who constantly need to be in relationships are usually lacking in something big in their own lives. If you can't go six months being single then you need to seriously look at what your missing in your own life and why you can't cope on your own. Never rely on someone else for happiness and you should be able to be 100% as a single person on your own without needing anyone else. You need to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>21. If you have a gut feeling that something isn't right, then don't do it</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Always follow your gut. If you have a bad feeling about something, then  you shouldn't go for it. Don't hope for the best if you know somethings not right. Assess every situation and make sure that it won't negatively effect your life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>22. Never ever give up on the things that make you the most happy</b></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 27px; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">The one strength you have that will get you through the toughest of times are the things that make you genuinely happy. Whether it's playing an instrument, sport, cooking, dancing, writing, or anything that takes away your stress and pain, never give that thing up because it's what will get you through the toughest situations in life.</span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div> <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-kerning: none;">Pin it for later:</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqEeo3Z3GwzvrUSFfMICLze0DMkJtq7XMUwkv_FX68pwV_4R9YcKXEwldvB7PZO2nbUsxvfPYmam62Xv7lG6kO6jzYcJqEriVs4wCj1S63SlAjimXlADnYOMsnj0o7ctB4aXBgQUhtmM/s1600/22+things+i%2527ve+learned+in+22+years.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt=" this year has made me realise that I have a whole lot of learning to do but also that I 22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years" border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="735" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBqEeo3Z3GwzvrUSFfMICLze0DMkJtq7XMUwkv_FX68pwV_4R9YcKXEwldvB7PZO2nbUsxvfPYmam62Xv7lG6kO6jzYcJqEriVs4wCj1S63SlAjimXlADnYOMsnj0o7ctB4aXBgQUhtmM/s1600/22+things+i%2527ve+learned+in+22+years.png" title="22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years" width="210" /></a></div> </div>

22 Things I've Learned In 22 Years

Turning 22 this year has made me realise that I have a whole lot of learning to do but also that I've learnt so many lessons in my...

Read more »

8 Qualities A Man Has That Will Make A Girl Tripping

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRby89M2OFMCctp_IPxcQcp8rQIAGSOycsdvrdrA1VjSRr2xozwJ1y7DNqSB-FfO5FDREroIUuJBheDj6HJBBhlJ27oMYNwmrm6hIo5ATkTUCO2jFq8u0w-4RZbcrIyOzBVyZs425rk3k/s1600/ladies-can-say-i-love-you-too.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="614" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRby89M2OFMCctp_IPxcQcp8rQIAGSOycsdvrdrA1VjSRr2xozwJ1y7DNqSB-FfO5FDREroIUuJBheDj6HJBBhlJ27oMYNwmrm6hIo5ATkTUCO2jFq8u0w-4RZbcrIyOzBVyZs425rk3k/s320/ladies-can-say-i-love-you-too.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333px;">The traits in a man that will uniquely make him physically and morally enticing to ladies ranges from his height, voice, mode of dressing and down to other physical attributes </span></span></span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Below are these qualities; </span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">1. Strong Financial Status </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">When a guy is wealthy, even if he's crippled, he will get immense desperation from numerous ladies. In fact, most of them will even overlook his bad manners and disability. Times without number, I have seen ladies staring lust fully at guys riding big cars and without shame, they approach to woo these guys. </span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">2. Body Physique </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Ladies may not be able to hide their feelings when they spot tall, dark/fair and handsome guys. To make matters more interesting, when the so called guy has six packs, they grill their teeth endlessly. It's even funny that everyday, the same guy becomes their focal point of discussion as if something financially valuable will come out of it.</span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">3. Sexy Voice and Good Grammatical Expression </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">A guy with cool voice and flawless grammatical expression is often admired by ladies. When such guys call a lady, she rushes with speed of light to pick his calls. Ladies will agree with me that a guy with captivating voice often turn them on and may even self service. Most radio presenters can relate to this. </span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">4. Good Sense of Humour </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Having a good sense of humour doesn't mean one should crack stupid jokes or become a notorious clown. Guys who know how to make irate or moody people laugh, top the list of guys being admired by ladies. To be candid, ladies do raise their eye brow when they spot a comedian and it doesn't necessarily means they are glean to his rich pocket alone but also his hilarious nature.</span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">5. Good Dress Sense </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">A guy whose outfit is simple, neat and classic makes ladies go nuts when they spot him. A grown up man with ragged and tattered wears is such a big turn off for most ladies. Ladies can attest to this fact</span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">6. Diligence and Intelligence </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Ladies cherish hard working, focused and clever guys that don't womanize but focus in their careers. </span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">7. Maturity and Respect </span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">It's a pity that guys mistake maturity for over bloated ego. A man is supposed to know how to handle complex situation especially when a lady provokes him. Slapping or beating a lady is totally disrespectful and shameful. Being able to apply tactful acts to calm difficult situation will make him earn the respect and submission from a lady. There is no way these categories of guys will not be adore by ladies. </span><br /> <br style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">8. Good Cook</span><br /> <span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">I have a friend who knows how to prepare all sort of meals deliciously. This guy's delicacies are so tantalising that even make a married man can abandon his wife meals for that of my friend.</span><span style="background-color: #f6f6ec; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Ladies who have tasted his meals quickly fall in love and can't take their eyes away from him.</span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>

8 Qualities A Man Has That Will Make A Girl Tripping

The traits in a man that will uniquely make him physically and morally enticing to ladies ranges from his height, voice, mode of dressing ...

Read more »

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships

<header class="article-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #565656; font-family: Signika, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Sanchez, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.333em; margin: 0.67em 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships</h1> <div class="single-featured-image" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="500" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-768x512.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S-350x233.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fotolia_65349056_S.jpg 849w" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" width="750" /></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #565656; font-family: Signika, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; zoom: 1;"><div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; text-align: center;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stakes rise when you fall in love.  He highlights the conditions that either encourage or discourage trust in a committed relationship.</em></strong></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> When love becomes part of the relationship landscape, when the other starts to <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">matter</i> to you, then how they respond takes on a heightened importance. And once love is set into motion, the more you are moved to share and give of yourself to your partner, the more vulnerable you become. Now trust becomes increasingly important to the workings of your relationship.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> Trust isn’t just a concept couples must learn about—rather, it’s a subjective experience that must be repeatedly lived and <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">felt</i>.<i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </i>When trust is experienced in this way, the relationship offers a secure space for the couple, a space that offers solace and opportunities for deeper sharing and connection. Once <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">mutually</i> established, trust can then quietly recede into the background of the relationship where it continues to support the couple, offering comfort and stability, allowing each person to take the risks necessary for meaningful emotional and sexual expression and connection.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">There are conditions that enhance or violate trust.</strong></div> <h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Sanchez, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 1.125em; font-weight: 400; margin: 1em 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"> </h3> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> Trust requires certain relationship conditions in order to take hold, and when these conditions are violated, when the foundation of trust is shaken, anxieties and insecurities awaken. The intensity of your trust-insecurities may periodically intrude or they may blanket every aspect of your relationship. A lack of trust (or trust that is doubted/questioned) is emotionally disruptive to all involved, and for emotional and sexual intimacy to be (re)established, trust must first be established.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Pro-trust Conditions</strong></div> <ul style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin: 1em 0px 1em 1.5em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.5em;"> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">accepting / encouraging</span></li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">sensitive / concerned</span></li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">emotionally open</span></li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">responsive / engaged</span></li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">committed / reliable</span></li> </ul> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">Anti-trust Conditions</strong></div> <ul style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin: 1em 0px 1em 1.5em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.5em;"> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">critical / judgmental</li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">aloof / indifferent</li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">defensive / closed-off</li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">unresponsive / detached</li> <li style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;">erratic / unpredictable<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em;">            </span></li> </ul> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> These behaviors (both pro- and anti-trust) take on particular significance when they come from the person you love and care for. The loved spouse/partner has particular power and influence over you—the power to help you feel secure and connected as well as intensely insecure and anxious. When trust conditions are violated, couples often shift from a secure to an insecure-anxious way of relating (even when anger predominates, the anger is often fueled by undercurrents of anxiety about losing the other).</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; text-align: center;"> <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">“Having sex with someone I didn’t really know or care about was easy. It’s when I fell in love that sex became amazing and dangerous at the same time. All of a sudden, trust and the potential for betrayal became relevant.”</em>~Eric, 33 years old</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> During sex, the stakes are always elevated because sexual intimacy is inherently risky emotional business—that is, the level of emotional vulnerability evoked with someone you deeply care about presents both the potential for intimate sharing and authentic contact and, when things go awry, emotional wounding and withdrawal. And during these heightened-vulnerability circumstances, your best intentions may not be enough to circumvent painful misunderstandings.</div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;"> Having conversations about the conditions you and your partner each need to enhance trust is important in making these conditions <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">explicitly</i> known to you both. Using the above list of pro- and anti-trust conditions can be a good starting point to jump-start such a discussion. Remember, when trust is solidified, the couple enters an orbit of emotional security surrounding the marriage/relationship, a security that allows for the potential of deeper emotional sharing and sexual exploration and expression.</div> </section>

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships

Trust: A Critical Component of Sexual Intimacy in Committed Relationships Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stake...

Read more »

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

<header class="article-header"><h1 class="entry-title single-title" itemprop="headline"> Married Sex Can be Great Sex</h1> <div class="single-featured-image"> <img alt="" class="attachment-gz-thumb-750 size-gz-thumb-750 wp-post-image" height="426" itemprop="image" sizes="(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px" src="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg" srcset="https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-750x500.jpg 750w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-768x513.jpg 768w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-350x234.jpg 350w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S-300x200.jpg 300w, https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Fotolia_67518113_S.jpg 848w" width="640" /></div> <div class="social-share-container"> <br /> <span class="st_facebook_large" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_large" displaytext="Tweet"></span> <span class="st_pinterest_large" displaytext="Pinterest"></span> <span class="st_linkedin_large" displaytext="LinkedIn"></span> <span class="st_googleplus_large" displaytext="Google +"></span> <span class="st_email_large" displaytext="Email"></span></div> </header><section class="entry-content clearfix" itemprop="articleBody"><div style="text-align: center;"> <em>Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some of the unique reasons it can be so satisfying.  He encourages couples to understand their ruts and look for opportunities for change.</em></div> You might have read about—or personally experienced—the challenges some married couples (or couples in long-term relationships) face when it comes to keeping sexual desire and sexual passion alive. The newness of a relationship clearly brings with it certain perks, one being the euphoria and excitement that seems to envelop every aspect of our life (including our sexuality). It’s not uncommon for married couples to look back fondly on the days when more frequent love-making, greater sexual exploration and risk-taking, and heightened sexual intensity were a part of the relationship landscape.<br /> The struggle of married couples—as well as couples in long-term relationships—to keep sex a rewarding part of their union is the reason I created <i>How to Spice Up Your Marriage</i><em>.</em><br /> But this is only part of the picture for married couples. Clearly, not all couples who have been together for years (or even decades) complain about a sexless marriage or have to settle for mediocre sex. In fact, a percentage of married couples report that sex within their long-term union has benefits they couldn’t have imagined. Even if the frequency of sex has diminished, these couples report high levels of sexual satisfaction, and a deep and meaningful intimacy that arises from sex.<br /> Let’s turn our attention to five benefits of married sex (as well as sex in a long-term relationship).<br /> <h3> Sex As an Expression of Love</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“Every time I have sex with my wife, it is an act of deep, profound love.”</em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Ken, married almost twenty years</div> </blockquote> It’s usually assumed that couples who are married love each other, unless, of course, their love has faded and they’re heading for divorce or staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. But for the many married couples who do love each other, they have the wonderful opportunity to express and share their love through sexual expression. The entwining of sex and love takes sex to new heights for many couples—in these instances, the act of sex itself becomes a powerful way to transform the subjective feelings of love into tangible acts of loving expression and appreciation.<br /> <h3> The Benefits of a Shared History</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“Married sex is like dancing with a partner you are totally familiar with; it makes for a great dance because you know his particular rhythms and moves.” </em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Holly, married fourteen year<strong>s</strong></div> </blockquote> A deep connection arises out of a shared history where trust is established. It is through a couple’s shared history that a deeper knowing and understanding of the other occurs—a knowing that results not just from time spent together, but from ongoing, meaningful communication. For intimacy to be nurtured, the evolution of this communication must include discussions about one another’s most important desires and longings; sexual and emotional likes and dislikes; as well as an understanding of each other’s hopes, dreams and vulnerabilities.<br /> When this knowing occurs in the bedroom, a sexual empathy is set in motion that becomes part of the foundation for a couple’s sexual exploration. Great sex arises from sexual empathy: a mutual appreciation of what each partner/spouse needs sexually, as well as emotionally.<br /> <h3> A Sexual Foundation Built upon Emotional Security</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“The longer we’ve been married, the more secure I feel in our relationship. That security allows me to take risks sexually with my wife. I always felt sexually anxious the times I had sex and didn’t know the person really well.”</em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Michael, married seven years</div> </blockquote> When you love someone, they have a great deal of power and influence over you (there’s no denying this fact). Feelings of insecurity and anxiety arise when we start to feel we no longer matter to our partner, that our needs and concerns are falling on indifferent ears. But when we feel emotionally secure and safe, a whole new world of possibilities is opened to us.<br /> Sexually, this might take the form of taking greater risks sexually (like it did for Michael in the above quote)–a giving of the parts of you no one else gets to see (your emotional vulnerabilities, as well as a sharing of your sexual longings and fears). This emotional security gives you greater emotional and sexual freedom; a freedom to let your guard down and be swept away in the mutual pleasures and connecting moments of sexual intimacy.<br /> <h3> When Sexual Passion and Love Converge</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“I’ve had passion without love and love without passion. Now I have both, and it’s indescribable.” </em></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Raquel, married eleven years</div> </blockquote> One of the common sexual complaints of couples in long-term relationships is diminished passion—what was once spontaneously ignited now requires effort and planning. Many of these couples might still have a rewarding sex life (“We enjoy sex whenever we have it…<i>if</i> we have it…”), even if their sexual dance has become somewhat predictable. But for some married couples, passion and love have blended, making for mind-blowing sex.<br /> These couples aren’t afraid to be sexually adventurous. They trust each other enough to try new things and give fully of themselves. They communicate effectively about their sexual needs and use their deep knowledge of each other to generously give and openly receive sexual and sensual pleasure. And, most importantly, these couples create a shared space (unencumbered by the stresses and obligations of daily life) where sexual passion is allowed to take root.<br /> <h3> Playing Between the Familiar and the Unknown</h3> <blockquote> <div style="text-align: center;"> <em>“I got so turned on when my wife did something totally unexpected the other day…she became a little unrecognizable to me in that moment, and I have to admit, it was hot…”</em><i> </i></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> ~Daniel, married four years</div> </blockquote> Part of the emotional security married couples take comfort in arises out of the familiar and predictable routines that come to define their couplehood. Psychologist Esther Perel, in her brilliant book <i>Mating in Captivity</i> describes how a certain level of emotional closeness (the hallmark of a loving marriage) also has the potential to extinguish sexual desire. It’s when a level of psychological separateness occurs that the other person can be seen and experienced; and it is in this contact with a separate other that the fires of sexual passion are able to ignite.<br /> Why does this make married sex so amazing? It’s a very different experience having someone you know well (your spouse/partner) let go sexually and/or act in a surprising or provocative manner, compared to someone you’ve just met or don’t know so well. Married couples are in an enviable position in this regard since they can bounce back and forth between the familiar/secure and the novel/tantalizing. In the psychic space between these seemingly contradictory experiences, a tension exists, a tension that can fan the flames of sexual desire and allows for passion’s potential.<br /> While the above list is by no means exhaustive, it does point to some important benefits that married couples can enjoy when it comes to sex. The loss of sexual intimacy and passion in long-term relationships is not an <i>inevitable</i> outcome of domesticity. In fact, couples who have been together for a long time have unique opportunities to build upon their emotional foundations of love and security, whether this involves nurturing love and emotional intimacy through sex, or pushing against each other’s sexual boundaries in order to stimulate moments of sexual excitement.<br /> The challenge is for married couples to identify any routines that may have led to relationship and sexual ruts, the routines they may too heavily rely on out of habit or complacency. Once those routines are identified, you can create and nurture opportunities that make your sex life a rich and meaningful part of your marriage or long-term relationship.</section>

Married Sex Can be Great Sex

Married Sex Can be Great Sex Richard Nicastro, PhD takes a deeper look at married (or long-term relationship) sex and some o...

Read more »